Bask in this chapter as it was written in the Roman sunshine and it should be shared with you all! It's also written on my phone so please excuse any formatting fuck ups.

xxxxx

Pein held up a hand, stopping the accountant mid-flow. The other businessmen at the board meeting sat in complete silence as Pein concentrated.

Eventually he sighed and brought a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Is everything alright Pein-sama?" ventured one of the board members in a meek voice.

"Yes, yes, my idiocy-sense is tingling, something stupid going to happen I can feel it in my bones," he sighed, "We'd best end here, I'll alert you when I wish to reconvene."

The board members bowed and left as quickly as they could manage without outright fleeing. Pein loved his meetings and never interrupted them if he could help it. Charts, spreadsheets, figures, they were the stuff Pein's dreams were made of and for him to give them up meant this was serious business.

xxxxx

"What are you cretins up to?" demanded Pein as he swept into the base's recreation room where the majority of his underlings were gathered.

He was met with several blank looks from said underlings who didn't appear to be up to anything. Itachi was busy pretending that Sakura wasn't nearly beating him at shogi. Deidara and Kakuzu were engrossed in the most recent delivery of magazine subscriptions. Hidan had been asleep and Kisame was doing the crossword in the day's paper. Zetsu was away on a mission and wasn't due to return for another week and Konan was at her book club in the village.

"What's the fucking problem? I'm trying to have a goddamn sleep here!" snapped Hidan. He'd only just returned from a week-long assassination mission and was crankier than usual.

Pein chewed on one of his lip piercings as he tried to figure out what was giving him this irritating feeling. "You're all sure you're not planning anything stupid?"

They all looked at each other and shrugged, shaking their heads and giving their boss a funny look.

"Really?" Pein pressed.

Kisame frowned at his paper, "I'm not doing anything til I've got this finished. What's another word for 'hateful', nine letters and third letter's an 'h'?"

"'Abhorrent'. You are so going down Itachi, this is too easy," answered Sakura as she flicked another of Itachi's pieces from the board.

Itachi's brow creased ever so slightly more and he leaned forward over the board, desperately trying to strategise his way out of this predicament.

"What about you two?" asked Pein, turning to Deidara and Kakuzu, "Nothing's going to explode and none of your experiments are about to have unnatural consequences?"

Deidara shook his head, and Kakuzu gave Pein disparaging look over the top of his copy of 'The Financier's Journal'. Pein turned to Hidan who rolled his eyes and picked up a discarded copy of 'Art Attacks' to put over his face to block out the light.

Pein stood at a loss, "Well something is going on."

Sakura looked up from her new attack strategy that was breezing through Itachi's defences and raised her eyebrow at Pein, "What are you talking about?"

Pein gave her a withering look, missing the days when he inspired fear in the hearts of stupid leaf-nins, "After years of dealing with these idiots I've developed something of an extra sense for stupid behaviour. It has never been wrong and it's on right now, so one of you cretins had better own up."

"Who says it's us? Why not one of the the other ninjas? That guy with the shitty hair who works on the gate needs retrained in a big way," said Deidara, reaching for a pen to fill in his details in the back of the art supplies magazine.

"I'll fucking say, he tried to search me for weapons when I came back in," whinged Hidan.

Sakura gave him a funny look, "Everyone has weapons."

"That's what I fucking said!"

Pein twisted his neck slightly in the vain hope of stopping the building pressure headache, "So you all say it isn't you?"

The whole room nodded at him.

"Well, then get ready, we're going to go into the village and get to the bottom of this," Pein announced.

He scowled when everyone in the room groaned aloud, except Itachi who was looking rather pleased at the interruption, "Get a move on or else! And no whining!"

xxxxx

"This is fucking stupid, yeah," grumbled Deidara.

"Hmm," agreed Kisame around the pen in his mouth as he walked along looking at his crossword.

The village seemed completely normal. The civilians were milling about shopping, gossiping and casting slightly awed looks at the various Akatsuki members as they wandered past. Rain ninjas saluted them and continued on about their business. Nothing suspicious seemed to be going on at all.

"This is bullshit," announced Hidan when they all met up again in the town square after splitting up to cover more ground, "I'm missing out on fucking valuable sleeping time here."

"You slept all morning," said Kakuzu, looking just as put out about the situation as the others.

"You heathens don't understand what sacrificing is like," Hidan grumbled, rubbing at the recently healed area over his heart where there'd been a huge hole two days previously.

"What did you not understand about 'no whining'?" said Pein, appearing from the crowds and joining their little circle, "What have you found?"

"There's absolutely fuck all happening," said Hidan.

"Not a fucking thing, yeah," agreed Deidara.

"The dango stand is having a sale," said Sakura, waving her half-eaten stick in the air.

"The bar down on the west side is having a new karaoke machine delivered," added Kisame.

"Really? That place is a dive, yeah."

"It runs a opiate ring on the side, of course it's a fucking dive," said Kakuzu.

"Really?"

"The Akatsuki get a cut of the profits every quarter," said Kakuzu, as if he was merely discussing the weather.

Pein put a hand to the side of his head to check on the enlarged vein that seemed to be pulsing in his temple. Taking a deep breath he managed to calm himself, "Nothing suspicious? No enemy ninja, no plots to overthrow the power structure?"

His underlings shrugged, spreading their hands to indicate they had nothing for him. Itachi was looking off into the distance, his brow furrowed in the tiniest degree.

Pein shared a look with the others, "Is something the matter Itachi?"

"Something has happened to Sasuke," Itachi answered quietly.

Deidara and Hidan high fived noiselessly behind his back making Sakura and Kisame snort with laughter. Pein frowned, he really couldn't give a shit about the littlest Uchiha, surely that wasn't the problem.

"How can you possibly know?" Sakura asked suspiciously.

Kisame made her turn around so he could use her back to write in an answer for his crossword, "I told you, special Uchiha powers, remember?"

"Yeah and I can sorta believe he knows when Sasuke's nearby, it's ridiculous but I can stretch to that, but some sort of psychic link is too goddamn much," Sakura said, bracing her shoulders as Kisame scribbled away.

Itachi turned away from the group suddenly, looking towards the gate.

"Oh god he's not actually here is he?" asked Sakura.

"Can we kill him this time? Please say we can fucking kill him?" begged Hidan.

"He's not here," answered Itachi, but the emphasis on 'he's' made it quite clear that someone certainly was.

Pein smirked at the others, totally vindicated that his stupidity sensor was on top form as usual. He got several bored looks and privately vowed to give them all shitty missions for a month. What was the point of being the leader of the most feared organisation of criminals if his underlings didn't respect him?

It didn't take long to see what Itachi was meant. Parting the crowds like water was an anxious looking Juugo, followed by a sulking Karin and a bored Suigetsu. Juugo spotted them - they were standing alone in the square as the inhabitants were conscious enough of their own safety not to crowd the Akatsuki - and rushed over, wringing his hands together.

"Sakura! Oh thank god," he exclaimed. Behind him Karin was pulling a face like she had a shit under her nose and Suigetsu winked lasciviously at her.

Kisame's hand came up in a reflex ready to smack the little punk. He would clearly have to wait in line behind Hidan and Deidara who had suddenly gotten their serious faces on. Pein gave them both a hard look.

"Hey Juugo, Karin, Suigetsu, what's up?" Sakura smiled at the big ninja, it was a pity he'd fallen in with the wrong crowd.

Juugo pushed his index fingers together as he thought about how he was going to phrase what he was about to say, "Well, you know there was a group of human traffickers operating out of somewhere in Wind?"

Sakura was sure she'd heard about them from Temari, "I thought Gaara had dealt with it? He gets a bit pissy with folks like that."

"Yeah well, so did we, so we were crossing the border and it turns out they're still kind of operating," said Juugo, wincing as smirks of amusement spread over the faces of the Akatsuki.

"Please tell me this is going where I think it's going, yeah?"

Sakura sighed, "Using my amazing powers of deduction I'm going to say that they have something to do with why that idiot Sasuke isn't here with you?"

"He's not an idiot," complained Karin but Suigetsu rolled his eyes and told her to shut up.

"Yes he fucking well is, what kind of ninja gets captured by slavers?" scoffed Hidan.

"Exactly, so why the hell are you here?" demanded Pein.

Juugo cowered slightly under Pein's gaze, making Pein feel much better about his intimidation skills, "We need your help," he asked very quietly.

"Sorry what was that?" asked Hidan obnoxiously.

"Oh don't be a prick Hidan, why do you need us? Can't the three of you just bust him out?" asked Sakura.

"They're all genjutsu users and we haven't been able to get close enough to the compound," admitted Juugo.

"I'm calling bullshit, yeah, Uchiha assholes can see through genjutsu with their fucking Sharingan," Deidara said, folding his arms.

Juugo winced, evidently hoping that they wouldn't have spotted that, "Yes, but Sasuke is ... well ... out of commission ..."

He trailed off looking anxiously at Itachi. Itachi tilted his head a fraction to the right to indicate that Juugo should start at the beginning. Juugo looked helplessly at Sakura who translated for him.

"Oh right, well, they sort of caught him at a bad time ..." he began.

Deidara and Hidan were practically rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of an embarrassing story about Sasuke.

"He'd ... umm ... gone to the baths and they sort of drugged his sake, by the time we got down there they were carting him off. One of them caught us in a genjutsu we couldn't break until they were long gone. We think we know his exact location, it's just getting past their defences," he finished.

"Bad form to attack someone in the onsen," commented Kisame.

"Yeah, a man's bath time is private time, seriously," said Hidan.

"So will you help?" Juugo was practically begging.

"Why? He's an ass, just write him off as a bad job, yeah?"

"I'm with goldilocks on this one, seriously."

Itachi gave what would have been a sigh of long sufferance in someone who displayed emotion by breathing out a little, "He is my brother."

Kisame groaned, if Itachi was going then he was bound to get roped in. Maybe Pein wouldn't let him to teach Sasuke a lesson about hanging around Akatsuki territory trying to kill one of his employees.

"Will you be joining us Sakura?" Itachi asked, in a monotone to everyone else but she could hear the hopefulness in it.

"As satisfying as it'd be to rescue that son of a bitch and rub his goddamn face in it, he's an asshole who keeps trying to kill me. You can handle it," she answered standing next to Hidan and Deidara.

Kakuzu just gave the three-quarters of Team Hebi a withering stare.

Itachi sighed, turning to Pein he said, "A human trafficking ring that not even the Kazekage could eliminate, and one that is powerful enough to capture high level shinobi, could interfere with the economic stability of the region. Traders will be less likely to make the journey here given that they often have to pass through Wind. It would be in the village's best interest to send a larger team to deal with this disturbance."

Sakura, Deidara and Hidan stood stunned, was that the longest string of words Itachi had ever said? Kisame just shook his head, Itachi might be socially inept most of the time, but he became a master manipulator when he wanted his way.

Pein looked thoughtful as Juugo crossed his fingers in the hope Itachi's spiel would pay off.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing Itachi, but you do make a good point. I doubt they're as strong as these idiots think but we can't have anything interfering with our markets. You'd all best get ready to leave. Also, once you've rescued that little moron you are all to give Rain a wide berth, do you understand me? I'm sick of reports that say you're in the area," said Pein.

Kakuzu ground his teeth together and glared his hardest glare at Itachi. He should never get involved in anything these other idiots were doing, it always ended up backfiring on him.

The others shared dark looks and Itachi realised quietly that he would have to remember to set traps around his bedroom door when this was all over. With plenty of glowering and muttered complaints the Akatsuki trudged off towards the base, telling Team Hebi they'd meet them at the gates.

Pein stood watching after them to make sure there wouldn't be any mutinies. After a second Konan appeared next to him, the week's book for her club tucked under her arm.

"Everything alright Pein?"

"They're going to break up a trafficking ring, Itachi's cretinous brother had managed to get himself captured so they're obviously not the usual sort," sighed Pein, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Hmmm. At least life isn't boring?" she asked.

"Oh I wish it were, I really do."

xxxxx

The journey was made in somewhat of a frosty silence. Those who'd been against bothering had banded together - an unusual truce even forming between Hidan and Kakuzu - and we're following behind those had actually wanted to rescue Sasuke.

Itachi was graciously allowing Karin to lead the expedition and was content to trail behind her and Suigetsu as Juugo filled them in on every detail he had gathered so far. Suigetsu had stopped trying to flirt with Sakura when a little white spider had nearly blown his face off some miles previously.

They'd just passed through a clump of withered trees and the soil was starting to turn to sand when Juugo held up a hand to get the party to stop. Ahead they could see a cave system hollowed through the soft rock and the Akatsuki groaned with annoyance. There could be miles of caves and tunnels in there and could take forever to clear out.

"If we pass by the line of that rock we'll spring the genjutsu trap," explained Juugo.

"So we get little red-eyes to disable them and then head in to fuck them up?" asked Hidan, already pulling his scythe from its sheath.

"Basically yeah."

"Good, dibs on the head honcho - Jashin-sama likes them best."

"Why?"

"For fuck's sake we don't have the time, Hidan can bore you shitless later," growled Kakuzu.

Once the dissension in the ranks had died down Itachi walked forward. His eyes spun and the genjutsu traps wavered and died as he disabled them with little effort.

"Don't you find you really hate him sometimes?" Sakura whispered to Kisame.

"What do you mean sometimes, yeah?"

"You get used to it," Kisame answered mildly.

The others looked at each other with shared mutual loathing of the third-last Uchiha.

Juugo inched forward after Itachi, continually bracing himself in case he was going to find himself caught in another of the group's traps. The others followed, drawing out weapons and suppressing their chakra as they did so.

At the entrance to the caves they waited while Itachi scouted ahead a little. Deidara formed a few clay creatures to keep watch on the other tunnel entrances and give anyone hoping to flee through them a big surprise. He and Sakura then discussed the possibility of blocking up the whole complex with her strength or his explosives so they wouldn't have to do this shit again.

When Itachi reappeared he had something of an odd look on his face. Everyone immediately looked to Sakura for her practiced eye in Uchiha mannerisms. To her it looked like Itachi was at once incredibly amused and beyond disturbed. He shook his head, either unable or unwilling to explain, and gestured that they should follow him silently.

Prepping themselves for a fight they snuck after Itachi, hoping to catch the traffickers unawares since they'd avoided the traps outside. There seemed to be a large chamber ahead, and from inside it they could hear voices.

Kisame gestured to Itachi that they would stand around the corner and make a noise that would hopefully bring them out to investigate. Once the traffickers left the hall they would run slap bang into Itachi who should have no trouble eliminating them. Sakura held up her hands to indicate there were seven chakra signals inside, she then brought her hand low to show they weren't high level ninja.

Itachi nodded and the others retreated around the corner. Deidara stuck a tiny amount of clay in among some metal barrels in a side corridor and joined them. Winking at Sakura he held up his hand and on a signal from Kisame muttered 'katsu' under his breath.

The noise of the metal being flung around a small space was near on deafening for Team Hebi who hadn't thought to cover their ears as the rest had, more than used to Deidara's pyrotechnics. As predicted the alarm was immediately raised and the sounds of yelling and footsteps rushing into the corridor could be heard. Around the corner the group heard several squishy noises and screams as the slavers met the business end of Itachi's katana.

Itachi's chakra signal then retreated into the room and the others felt it safer to follow. They skirted around the bodies of the slavers and saw that one was still alive, clearly the leader, and was brandishing his own sword in Itachi's direction. He looked terrified, probably because his genjutsus weren't having the effect he'd hoped and Itachi had dispatched his men without breaking a sweat or even changing expression.

They were so intent on watching the outcome of the fight that nobody noticed what was going on in the corner of the room until Hidan choked out, "Oh fucking hell!" before bursting out into uncontrollable laughter.

Suddenly the potential threat was no longer the most horrifying thing in the room.

Stood in the corner, with a choker that was sapping his chakra attached to a chain from the wall, was Sasuke. Apart from a scowl he wasn't wearing much else. The slavers obviously had some things in common with Orochimaru as the tiny loincloth they'd given him barely covered his modesty.

By this point Hidan was barely upright and was forced to clutch at the doorframe to keep himself upright. Sakura and Karin had gasped aloud but while Karin was more inclined to appreciate the view, Sakura had joined in with Hidan and was almost crying with laughter. Deidara made them laugh harder by pretending to throw up while Kisame and Kakuzu merely shared an amused look and shook their heads. Suigetsu was snickering behind his hand while Juugo seemed merely relieved that apart from a seriously wounded pride, Sasuke was unhurt.

Itachi took advantage of the distraction to quickly deal with the leader and turned back to them, his lips quirking slightly as he took in his red-faced brother.

Sasuke was blushing so hard it had spread down his chest. Sakura had never seen him so discomfited and that just made her laugh even harder.

"Sasuke, are there any other ... prisoners ... in this compound?" Kisame managed to ask with a relatively straight face, though he struggled a little on the word prisoners.

Sasuke made a face and shook his head, evidently not trusting his voice.

Kisame clapped his big hands together, "Great! Go break him loose Sakura, then Deidara can blow this shithole."

Itachi nodded, satisfied, and gave his brother something of a fond look.

Hidan managed to get himself under control enough to realise that Itachi had screwed him over for a sacrifice and started bitching at him as Sakura tried to stop laughing as she approached her old crush.

"Hello Sasuke," was about all she could manage before snickering again.

He glowered at her as hard as he could manage. His stare wasn't as intimidating as it should've been as not only was he still red but he couldn't activate his Sharingan thanks to the chakra draining choker. With a glowing fist she ripped the chain from the wall and used it to tug him over to Itachi who was probably best at disabling the sort of seals that made the collar.

Kakuzu had walked off around the compound and reappeared as Itachi freed his brother. Juugo had found some clothes stashed in another room and handed them over to his team-mate.

"What's up stitches?" asked Hidan, looking over at his partner now the entertainment had finished for the present.

"Having captured one person hardly counts as a trafficking ring - Sasuke wouldn't fetch enough profit to make it viable," answered Kakuzu.

"Maybe they were just perverts, yeah?"

"I think we should keep an eye on this area, there's something not right about it. I'll tell Pein when we return."

"Well, we'd better have something I suppose - having all of us troop out here was a bit of overkill," mused Kisame.

"I'm going to make a formal complaint," agreed Kakuzu.

"Oh come the fuck on, like it wasn't worth it to see the twat," laughed Hidan.

Kakuzu couldn't argue with that and lead them out of the tunnels. Deidara lingered behind to plant his explosives, whistling a tune under his breath. As far as he was concerned he was having a great day.

As they watched the hillside crumble in on itself Sasuke shuddered slightly, trying to stop his relief at being out of that nightmare from showing.

"Do you need anything else Sasuke?" Itachi asked blandly.

"Like therapy, seriously."

Sasuke ground his teeth together and shook his head, his cheeks still pink.

"Oh good, then we'll be going. Remember what Pein said you three," Itachi reminded them.

Team Hebi nodded and Juugo thanked them all profusely before the Akatsuki departed back to Rain.

"I think I'm mentally fucking scarred from that experience, seriously."

"I think I need new eyes, yeah?"

Sakura laughed out loud, "Come on guys, you'll have to be careful you don't get picked up by perverts too!"

"We should be so lucky," Kakuzu muttered under his breath.

"They wouldn't take you two, you're not pretty enough for how fucking annoying you'd be," laughed Kisame.

Deidara and Hidan flipped him the bird.

xxxxx