BEFORE NOTE
So. Remember when I said in the first chapter, at the end, that I would try not to go on hiatus? Well, it's been almost two years.
I had always had this in my computer, sitting in Google Docs, and just decided to upload it now. Just cuz.
I also want to start this story again. Let's hope I don't go on hiatus for that either
This is way way way different from the first chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. But I do own OCs and stuff.
LIZ - POV
White. So blindingly white. An endless expanse of white, which I was hypnotically drawn into.
It'd almost be beautiful if it weren't for the memories.
Information. Lots of information. Blood. Lots of blood. Emotions?
I could still feel them.
I hate this. I hate, hate, hate this. I hate this place, I hate the world, I just hate it all.
Ironic. That I couldn't stop this. This very same incident that had scarred my childhood.
Very. Same. Incident.
I can't even save Ed and Al from it?
It's all just so unfair.
I hate this. It was all so, so stupid.
Sorry, scratch that.
It was all my fault. I'm stupid. I'm reckless. I'm useless.
I looked down at my feet bitterly until finally noticing everything was gone, including my Automail. I shrugged my right shoulder, fiddling with the odd lightness of my limb's absence. My hair fell down all over my face and mid-back, so I pushed up my right shoulder to brush it aside before remembering my arm wasn't there. I shook it out of my face instead.
When I peered off far into the distance, I couldn't see anything. But really, where was I looking to? There nothing here—nothing. No shadows, no darkness, not even my own shadows under my feet. Nothing except me and this endless expanse of white. When I stomped, my feet reached a dead-end, canceling out the possibility that I could be floating, but under my feet, it didn't feel solid either.
Or maybe it was that I couldn't really feel my feet. Or any of my body. Everything I felt was numbed out. I could sense the heavy thump, thump, thump, of my heart. I could sense my hair brushing my back when I turned my head. But I couldn't feel it.
An odd, tingling, darkness immediately caught my attention. It was a disturbance in the white, and I couldn't draw my eyes away from it.
The darkness in the air became the vague shape of a human. Came with it an arm, an all too real arm. But it wasn't my Automail arm.
It was my real arm. Back from four years ago.
It was neither rotting nor in pristine condition. The arm was so thin, so paled with a ghastly sheen, that it was nearly unrecognizable, limply hanging at the figure's side.
The figure looked up at me with a mocking smile. I couldn't move. Inwardly, I screamed, but my body was completely immobilized. Despite the desensitization, the beating of my heart and dizzying fear became so clear.
Because I knew who it was.
"Well, seems that you still haven't learned your place," Truth remarked, his voice like a number of voices speaking in unison. Eerily smooth. "Welcome back. Would you like a dip into my glorious knowledge? Only costs an arm and a leg."
I looked down at my feet, refusing to betray my feelings. Was he toying with me?
"You raised the price? Last time it was only an arm." I raised my eyebrows, refusing to give him the satisfaction of my fear. At that moment, it still dwelled in the back of my mind, but control had taken over.
No, not control. Fury—dark, cold fury permeating me, my body tingling with animosity. It made me feel totally in control, completely sane. But I knew that this craving was just completely insane.
Everything seemed so clear.
Yet I knew that insanity had taken over met.
Yet I also had to admit, I kind of liked it.
I dug my nails into my palms, trying to calm myself down. Embracing the feeling that was rising in me was easy, it was satisfying. Oh, it would be so satisfying, but I knew I had to control myself. Letting the anger out loose would only cause trouble for me. Think with your mind, not with your feelings, as I learned four years ago and etched into my mind until I could repeat those words unconsciously. Because your feelings would only want to satisfy themselves and follow that hungry desire that had let loose. And later the hurt would strike back tenfold.
I knew this; I had dealt with this many times. It's just that I've never had to hold back such a strong urge. He was the one who had stolen my arm four years ago. And now, my arm was right in plain sight, and I couldn't do anything about it.
"Yes...but it depends how long your visit is, isn't it?" He smirked. I looked up at him, straight where his eyes should have been. But when I saw that horrible Cheshire smile, I realized I was playing right into his hands. I peered down at my feet, hoping to hide my paled face, biting my lower lip until I tasted copper. His gaze focused on me. A gaze that was quiet piercing, especially for something that had no eyes.
"Most of us disagree with your prices," I said, my voice quivering the slightest—not with fear, but with anger. I looked back right at him, my gaze hard. "A good businessman would have a fair price, wouldn't they?"
"Hmm…It sure was a shock for them. But either way, it must be paid." A horrible, horrible cackle. "Why the cold look? You do know who I am, after all." He cocked his head in amused. I could almost see the raised eyebrows.
"How the hell would I know who you are?" And when I really thought about it, I really didn't know. "What are you?"
"That would cost you an ear."
"Very funny." I closed my eyes, counting to ten. An old but effective trick.
"Do you not remember? Have your memories disappeared?" He paused for a moment, letting the words sink in. I took a step back, as a murderous urge rose up in me, but the stinging pain of my bitten lip reigned it in. I exhaled slowly and restarted my count.
"I remember. I remember much too clearly." The copper again. "All, One, Truth, the Universe, God, True Knowledge, the World." I recited off the list perfectly. "But what does it mean?"
"Yes, I'm what you refer to as the Universe, or God, or Truth, or True Knowledge, or One, or All," he stated. "And I'm you." He jabbed a finger in my direction.
"So I'm a sadistic creep?"
"What an ill-behaved child. Do you not know what position you are in?"
I shrugged with feigned nonchalance. "So? What else can you take from me? After all, you're already piecing off my body."
Truth just sniggered. "Oh, really? I believe two others are facing the Gate as we speak. A great coincidence, isn't it, that I have three visitors from the same place, at the same time."
I froze for a moment, taking a few moments to process what he had said.
What?
"What are you saying?" I spat, blood from my swollen lip spraying and disappearing into the white.
I clenched my fists. What did I just do? This feeling—I knew that I shouldn't follow it. I knew! But it still overcame me.
"You don't know?" He was enjoying this.
"I repeat, and do not make me repeat again: what are you saying?"
"To obtain the knowledge from my portal, a sacrifice must be made. Isn't that equivalent change, alchemist? Your other fellow alchemists would know."
What?
"No. No, no, no, no, no! If you dare even take a hair from them, I'll—"
"Hmm? What will you do?" Despite Truth's lazy tone, there was definitely an edge of menace in it. " Understand your position—you can't do anything against me."
Silence. I spoke no more.
"Now, I assume you're ready for my Portal?"
As I opened my mouth to speak, a loud creaking sounded behind me. I turned around just in time to see little dark hands slithering towards me. They clung onto me, entangling me in their grasps. The tugs strengthened, became more forceful, and soon, many small hands clutched onto me and pulled me towards the Portal of Truth. I looked back at Truth, who waved to me with my arm as I was dragged closer to it.
I struggled in vain. "Truth—don't you dare hurt the brothers! They're innocent! They..."
The hands pulled me into the Portal against my struggle. "Truth! Listen to me! Take everything! Take my soul, my spirit, my body, take it all! Just leave them alone!"
The Portal slowly closed, allowing me one last peek at Truth's smile. And with a deafening thud, it clasped shut. Renewed anger resurfaced within me as I finally, finally, finally understood my reality. I grasped firmly onto the doors and with all the hatred, all the strength, all the madness I could muster, tried to force them open, even if just a crack. "Don't take my brothers! They've done nothing wrong! I don't want them to become like this! Truth! TRUTH! NOOOOOOO!"
A quick jerk from the hands and they quickly pulled my away from the doors.
No...
No...
No...
No...
Darkness.
My scream lasted in the complete black of the Portal. It was so…empty, void…and complete in a way opposite from the whiteness just before. The scream lingered in the emptiness, but echoes didn't trail after it. The dark sucked the scream dry.
Then came the first flickers of rapidly approaching light. Scenes floated around the dark like scraps of paper in the wind. Scenes...they were memories. No, not memories. Because some of these memories weren't mine.
Soon, the light illuminated threads of scenes all played simultaneously. They coiled across each other, flooding my brain with information. All the threads came together in circling loops, creating a brilliant white tunnel.
Throbbing pain erupted in my head. I felt so strained, my brain hurting so badly from all the information.
Finally, the loops ended in four threads breaking off from it.
The figure of a glowing small child from waist up awaited, stretching her arms out to me. A hand, to pull me out of everything I was going through. A beacon of hope.
I flailed, trying to get closer toward it, but just as our fingertips met, I was transported back to Truth.
I held my arm out for a moment, still edging it forward, before realizing where I was. I fell down to my knees, wanting to scream but only able to breath ragged breaths. Even squeezing my eyes shut couldn't contain the millions, billions of images racing through my head. All the lights, all the colors.
Especially the child, reaching out to me. Why, I would never know.
I wanted to scream, to rage, to do something that could help me let loose the buzz that went on in my brain. But the moment I opened my mouth, my stomach heaved. Thankfully, it all vanished into the whiteness.
All—all of that...
So, so much information.
It was much worse than last time. The scenes replayed in my head, over and over, like a broken record. And this time, it was in so, so much more detailed. I collapsed, down on all fours, barely able to hold myself up.
"Did you enjoy your trip to the Portal again?" Truth said.
I didn't answer because I couldn't.
"If you don't mind, I'll be taking the toll..."
White became black, and black transformed into the shabby, poorly lit room. Everything remained the same; it was like no time had passed. Not like I knew how time acted there.
My senses dimmed down, almost to the point as if I were disconnected to my body. The world turned black and white, and flashes—I began seeing flashes. And with these flashes, I definitely wasn't seeing through my eyes.
Flashes of the room, the crawling, mutated monster that they had created in their transmutation, my lifeless body, seeming unharmed, and—
"Al...Alphonse! Alphonse! Alphonse!" Ed repeated, over and over, like a chant.
Ed...
Something in me snapped. I regained control over my body, and despite the nausea washing over me and inviting me to have just a moment of shut eye, being too dizzy to stand up, I crawled my way over to Ed's voice. One leg, then one hand at a time.
Ed's voice rang in my head, over and over. Alphonse! Alphonse! Alphonse!
I only vaguely knew what I was doing. Shoving Ed aside. Clapping and pressing my hands onto a cold metal suit of armor.
Ed screaming, but now he was screaming my name.
I think I lost another limb, or something, but I didn't want to care anymore. So finally, goddamned finally, I let my head fall from the exhaustion and pain. With the energy for a fight had all gone out, I didn't resist when my eyes slowly closed shut.
AFTER NOTE
Aaahhh I feel so cruel to Liz. She deserves a cookie. With milk.
Thanks to the awesome people who decided to follow/review/favorite (two years ago, but you're still awesome people and it made me really happy).
Please follow/favorite/REVIEW, and all that good stuff.
Thanks for reading! ^_^
