No employers of iHop were harmed :3

I don't know the menu for iHop so I mades em up. Please don't flame me I'm very tired :'c

Akatsuki do not belong to me, if I did then they would be ruling the world with dinosaur cookies. Inside jokes are inside. Mychonny is my idol but I do not own him. Bwaha. I put in some inside jokes in here, how many can you find? XD

Enjoy.

Chapter 2: Road Trip

"WAKIE WAKIE EVERYONE! WE NEED TO GO TO BIG BEAR NOW BECAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi's screams could be heard 2 blocks down the street. The masked boy began to bang pots and pans and began to sing the Campfire Song by Sponge Bob down the hallways of the other rooms. "TH O-WAAH!" a clay pig with wings and a dinosaur tail was thrown at him. "Tobi! Shut up! It's only 3 am you idiot, un!" Deidara's voice. Tobi giggled and shouted back, "No Senpai! Grandpa Kuzu disabled all of the alarm clocks to sell on Ebay and replaced them with broken ones, it's actually 11:25 am silly cows!" From the left side of the room, an angry old man voice shouted, "Tobi! That was supposed to be a secret!" There a moment of silence and crickets could almost be heard then Tobi was immediately engulfed in the crowd of Akatsuki members scurrying about to do their business before they get in the car to their Final Destination- I mean Big Bear. "Zuzu! Help Tobi! NoooooOOooo!" were the good boy's last words before sinking into the crowds. Zetsu poked his head inside the window because of his name called, when he didn't see the caller, he shrugged and returned to his Plant Porn.

After 2 hours of trying to gather all of our favorite members together, Pein announced, "Alright everyone, I'm going to assign duties-"Itachi giggled, "Duties, haha moo." "- for everybody to do so we are able to keep track of our shi- I mean stuff, Deidara and Sasori?" The blonde and red head were making out together grabbing at each other as if they couldn't get enough of everything. The room was silent; the only sounds were of the art duo's kissing and smacking. Konan began to take photos of the sexy couple when Pein gave her a glare which made her stop taking those amazing make out pictures that a certain miser sold online to fangirls. To the art duo Pein said, "You two are in charge of tents and firewood, Kisame and Itachi are in charge of our luggage, Hidan and Kakuzu will be in care of directions," Hidan quickly flipped two birds at Pein before he could see. "Last but not least, Tobi and Zetsu will be sure of our food supplies." "TOBI IS A FUCKING GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed suddenly. Our favorite villains stared quietly at the wanna-be cursing gangster boy. "Sorry…" Tobi whimpered and hid behind the plant dude who was still quietly reading Plant Porn. "Leader-sama?" Itachi raised his banana cream pie hand, Kisame step sided away from Itachi for he hated the amazing taste of banana cream pie. Kisame, you hater. "Yes Tachi-san?" Pein answered. "What are you and Konan going to do?" "…. "Everyone get in the car, and Zetsu sit in the trunk." Zetsu cursed to himself as the Akatsuki packed into the car.

"There was an old farmer who lived on a rock, he sat in the meadow just shaking his-" "TOBI! Not now, un!" Deidara screamed and slapped some clay onto Tobi's mouth. They sat in the way back kind of close to Zetsu who began to radiate emo waves. Now the masked idiot only made moaning muffled noises which sounded as if he was being butt raped. "Turtle Porn~…" The red head said with a shiny glint in his chocolate plastic eye. "Danna, un! GIVE THAT BACK NAO- I mean NOW!" The furious blonde screamed and snatched away the porn. Then Sasori only stared sadly at his Brat with enormous eyes, he was about to shed lemon polish tears when Deidara shoved a Barbie and Ken doll into his Danna's hands who began to strip them both slowly…. Tobi and Deidara stared in silence. "Oi! Fuck face! I'm hungry!" Hidan shouted, he was seated in the middle row next to a red eye man wearing a Dora backpack using uke-no-jutsu on a fishy boy named Kisame who dodged it by playing the dreadfully addictive song: 'HEYAYEAHYEAHYEAYEA featuring He-Man' "HEYAAYEAHEYAh—What's going' ON?!" The blue man sang. But then the song ended and uke-no-jutsu fucked his ass up as blood streamed down Kisame's nose. "What the FUCK, Kisame!" The old miser shouted and shoved Kisame away, "You're getting blood all over mah sandwich- FUUUUUUCK- I mean you asshole!" When Kakuzu had said Fuck it meant he was watching too much mychonny (in thanks for Hidan :D) which made him now an asain wanna-be fag. "Ay- Fuck-ku-zu! Gimme some of yo sandwich, bitch!" Kakuzu held his ham and cheese sandwich defensively to his chest. "FUCK YEW I MEAN YOU HIDAN GET AWAY YOU DICKHEAD!" Yup our beloved Kakuzu was an asain wanna-be faggot. Let's give him a slap on the butt- I mean back. "KAKUZU, YOU—- MMMPH!" Clay was immediately slapped over the albino's mouth. "Shut up Hidan, un! Don't say the FORBIDDEN word in the CAR! We're driving, you ass hole, un!" Hidan ripped away the clay and opened his mouth to say another long stream of cussing but then surprisingly quieted down and picked up his rosary. "Jashin-sama please make fucking Kakuzu go to fucking hell and I will sacrifice 73 virgins to you and do a little dance." His jaw was met with a fist. "FUCK YOOOOOU!" Hidan screamed as his nose began to bleed. The weasel and fish were too busy "sucking face" to notice the bickering in the area. "YOU GUYS SHUT UP!" Leader said, a vein popping out of his forehead. The car quieted down a little bit. "It's okay Nagato, we're almost there…" The bluenette patted her boyfriend's hand reassuringly. "Because later it will be just you and me under the stars…" Pein nervously laughed and glanced to the trunk where Zetsu was sitting with a mysterious large lump, and Zetsu was starting to get it on with the mysterious large lump… Tobi began to climb on top of people's heads to make his way to the front to his "mommy" and "daddies-" I mean "daddy" "Tobi- What the hell watch it!" a red head exclaimed. "Fuck! Get out basketball ass!" a silver haired man screamed and threw the poor idiot to Kisame who was still sucking face. He landed in the fish man's lap just when Kisame broke the kiss and then returned for more "sugar" from the weasel. Kisame's lips met a cool, smooth surface and jumped back. "Tobi you whore get out!" a kick in the butt boosted Tobi to his destination. "Hi momma! Daddy!" Konan turned her blue head to the orange mask, "Hi cutie, why are you out of your seat? You'll get hurt…" Tobi shook his head no wildly,"N-no Konan-Mommy! Tobi wanna be with yew!~" Tobi hugged his "mommy's" leg. Pein stared at the loving duo and shook his head, "Am I the only normal fucker around here?" he thought. A childish voice answered him, "No Daddy-sama!" Pein jumped at the familiar voice and nearly drove the van off the road. He then stared at the masked idiot who was now smiling- because a messy smile had been draw onto the mask and was still hugging his girlfriend's leg while she patted his head. Arguing and movement continued in the back rows. No more than 10 seconds later Tobi screamed a long fan girl- like scream. The car swerved quickly leaving the people inside scrambled into all sorts of directions and bumping an old man who was fishing off the side, "TOBI!" The angry ginger growled sternly, "What. The FUCK." "It's iHop, daddy! Can we go PLEEEEASE?!" Deidara, Kisame, and Hidan jolted up from their temporary "coma" "IHOP?!" the three unlikely men exclaimed in unison. They pounced to the front over the probably dead people. Now Pein was hearing too much of: "OH PLEASE!" "TAKE US TAKE US!" "IHOP IHOP IHOP!" "OHPLEASE OHPLEASE OHCHEESE!" Finally he screamed, "OKAY OKAY, WE'RE HERE!" "Yay~" The trio cheered and jumped out of the car, happiness for fresh air and stretched legs. "Okay bitches, let's roll~" Hidan said, put on some sunglasses, and dragged his groaning ass boyfriend into the happy family breakfast restaurant. Everyone else followed his example while Pein trudged behind them along with a sweat dropping Konan in arm.

They were greeted by the aroma of breakfast and freaky friendly waitresses. A girl with shit colored hair and a grin so fake and wide it looked painful, "Hello! My name is Krillin! Welcome to iHop fucke- people." She corrected herself quickly and turned around with an annoying ponytail swishing back and forth that it got to the point where Hidan wanted to sacrifice the fiendish long hair. Later Tobi collapsed on his face. Zetsu turned away from his last 2 pages of Plant Porn of an enlarged photo of an Aloe Vera but instead gasped, "Tobi? Are you okay? FUCK get the thing!" he and Su said. The checked plant man held out his hand. Tobi weakly reached up, "Uhm… Yeah Zuzu-san! Tobi is-"Itachi being piggy backed on Kisame's back came by bumping Zetsu onto the masked boy. Then, he obviously fell on top of Tobi. Zetsu had blacked out for moment before trying to settle in what had happened. The plant man heard a loud groan underneath him. A uke-ish yellow background with sparkly flowers and red roses faded into the scene of the floor of iHop. "Uh Hi Tobi…." The masked idiot looked up, "Zuzu-kun…?" Their lips or lips and mask began to closen together… "TOBI, ZETSU GET UP! AND ITACHI-SAN, RELEASE YOUR UKE-NO-JUTSU!" Pein screamed and pulled the two cuties apart thus breaking the uke background. There was Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu seated comfortable in the red cushion chairs and white table. Konan stood there with bloody noses and heart shaped pink glasses to "enhance the experience" and Hidan was sacrificing his 54th virgin for Jashin-sama. Then the readers screamed out in frustration at the crappy author: "GET IT ON WITH THE STORY!" and tried to chuck banana cream pies at her.

"I would like the Chocolate Explosion of Pancakes, un."

"10 Rainbow Doughnuts… You guys lack more sprinkles…"

"Green Waffles and Ham, mesos plez? :D" Tobi slapped Zetsu on across the face. Zetsu coughed, "Thanks Tobi… Thanks fucker." "No problem Zuzu-kun~" Tobi said seductively. "T-T-Tobi…." Zetsu stuttered, turned on by this attitude. The others ordered and lastly was our favorite priest. "I want some of your shitty waffles with fucking maple syrup and make sure it's not that cheap as shit." Hidan said looking at Krillin. The waitress wrote down his order and then went to the rest. Finishing, the shit haired waitress walked away from the group and came out seconds later with high stacks of food. Tobi began to drool through his eye hole and Zetsu told a napkin and wiped it off. The waitress placed all the food down on the table, walked away, tripped on a random rock, and rode on a horse down to a painted sunset that happened to lead down to the kitchen. "Let's eat bitches!" Hidan shouted with tearful joys and his head was pushed into his 'shitty waffles with fucking maple syrup,' the albino lifted up his head and instead of his own face was the 'FUUUUUUUU' meme's face, "Marshmellow! Get off of Hidan—NOW." The gross mask dog whimpered started towards Kakuzu's back, "That's right! Get in here!" Kakuzu took off his shirt which made the fangirls in the restaurant drool at the sight as the dog thing melted into his back. (Um.. Ew?) A certain blonde made some fake gagging noises. Pein looked up at the ceiling and wondered when the camping was going to begin which was going to begin in the next chapter.

So very sozzy, just got back from Plant Hollywood (in Las Vegas, Nevada) doing a performance =_+ I'm practically exhausted. I'll began the camping chapter in chapter 3. Hope you like :D

Questions? Ask me at akatsukikaimu

A couple months later,..: SORRY This took me literally months because I just lazy…. _ I had too do SO many edits because I hated this chappy =_= I will get to the camping trip next….

Reviews will be loved.