Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you for the reviews, people adding this to their story alerts and favorites! It really does mean a lot to me! Hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter...
(Eli's POV)
Have you ever had the feeling like something good is going to happen to you, even when you don't deserve it? No? Well that's what I'm feeling right now. That feeling in which you encounter that one thing in your life that is worth keeping. The only thing that keeps you from ending your life once and for all. If you ever do have that feeling, well, it's fucking terrifying. Knowing that somebody has that kind of power over my life and what I feel. Knowing that someday someone might find out about me. About what I do. Nobody would ever look at me the same. They might think I would do something to harm them. Problem is, I was forced into this…
I kept driving to…well, I don't know where I'm going yet. I just need a break from everything. To clear my mind and to try and figure out how to fix this shit that I am in.
As I was driving, I realized I passed my childhood home. I smiled at the memories I had with this house. That's when I realized that I have driven for two hours, two hours away from Toronto, two hours away from the hole that I finally escaped and maybe, just maybe, I can forget everything that has happened. But, no matter how hard I try to forget, it always comes back to taunt me and mock my very existence.
I made a U-turn and the wheels of Morty screeched so loudly, that a flock of birds flew away as they were enjoying their delicious road kill. Oh, how rude of me to interrupt them. I smirked at the satisfaction and headed towards my old house.
I parked outside of the house and waited for a few seconds inside of Morty. I took a deep breath, held it in for exactly 60 seconds and let it out. I unlocked my door and stepped out of Morty. Memories just kept rushing back as I stood in front of the house. The house where I had my first kiss. The house where I jacked off for the first time. I don't know how that's memorable but it's just something that I will never forget. The house where my mom and I almost gave my father a heart attack when I was thirteen. I laughed and shook my head at that memory.
(Flashback)
"Eli!" my mom yelled as I was in my bedroom reading Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. I think it's amazing how he can come up with such brilliant stories and how he is such an incredible, twisted, hilarious writer! Dude's a genius!
When my mom yelled up at me, I thought I was in trouble. I gulped and said "yeah, mom?"
"Can you come down here for a moment" she said as I placed a bookmark on the page that I have left off on and closed the book. I hopped off my bed, went out the door, and headed downstairs. I slowly walked down each step, staying on each one for five seconds and descending downstairs. It took a total of fifty seconds to walk down 10 measly steps.
"Yes?" I asked nervously, trying my best to keep my cool. I twiddled my thumbs together and kept biting my lip. I knew that if I was in trouble, my dad would eventually hear about it, and let's just say, my ass would be kicked.
"haha, don't worry, you're not in trouble" she said and she unhooked my thumbs and put my hands at my sides. I released a relieved breath and asked "what's up?"
"I have a preposition for you" she said while smiling deviously. "Oh no, I know that look. You're planning on pranking someone aren't you?" I asked her while smirking. I love the pranks that my mom pulls. They are perfectly executed and well thought out. Well, most of the time.
She nodded her head and I asked "what'd you have in mind?" man, I feel sorry for her next victim.
"I want to prank your dad" she said while sitting down on the couch, "I want him to think that I passed out and eventually dead". I sat there with my mouth agape. I was speechless. This is above and beyond over her last pranks.
"Why the hell would you want to do that?" I asked cautiously while looking at her like she had 3 heads.
"Let's just say that last night, your father was a tease and didn't let me finish" she said as interrupted her "okay, okay I get it! Don't need to know the full story!' I shrieked. "What? I take my orgasms very seriously" she taunted me. "Alright! I get it! I'll do it just please stop talking about that."
She smirked and said "great! This is the plan…
(2 hours later)
"Honey, I'm home" Bullfrog joked as he came back from work. "You wouldn't believe how many narcissistic bands called in to play their music only because and I quote "no other bands can compare to us" please, what a bunch of bit- Cece? Cece!
The plan just commenced. I smirked and innocently walked out of the living room to hear why my dad was screaming. "Bullfrog? What's wrong" I asked in a panicked tone to try and sell this performance.
Cece was lying on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and she looked out cold. "Cece! Please wake up! Please!" my dad said as tears started to pour out of his eyes. Ah shit! I think we took it to far this time.
"Eli! Call 911! Now!" I hesitated but eventually walked to the phone. I didn't know what to do so I pretended to dial the number and put the phone to my ear.
Bullfrog was on his knees and crying when all of a sudden, Cece quickly sat up and said " you sure you want to tease me again?" she smirked. Bullfrog looked dumbfounded and looked back and forth between me and Cece.
"Dad, it was a joke. Cece is alive and well" I said while smiling timidly. After a long moment, Bullfrog bursted into a fit of laughter and hugged Cece. "That was a good one! Kudos to you guys" he said while continuing to laugh. I will never understand my parents but I love them nonetheless.
(End Flashback)
I continued to walk around the house and kept on smiling. I went through the gates that lead to the lake and what I saw surprised me. I scrunched up my eyebrows and asked "Uh, hi, who are you?"
There was a little girl about the age of nine who was crying. She turned around and looked at me. Observing my every move as I walked closer to her.
"I'm Skylar, who are you?" she asked me innocently while wiping the tears from her radiant green eyes with her right sleeve.
"Hello Skylar, my name's Eli. What are you doing here all alone? I smiled at her, trying not to scare her away.
"I come here every day, Eli. Today I just wanted to cry . What about you?" she asked as she signaled me to sit down with her at the edge of the lake.
"Well Skylar, I just came here to think for a little while, Get away from society, you know?" I said as I sat down next to her. What was I doing, talking to a little girl about my problems, expecting her to understand. I shook my head aimlessly and it perked up when she said "I know exactly what you mean" she said while staring intently at me.
"What do-" I started to speak when someone interjected, "Skylar! Come in to eat for dinner!" someone who I am assuming was her mom called out for her. "Coming!" she yelled while turning to me.
"Will you be here tomorrow?" she asked me hopefully. Her green eyes getting big with anticipation. I contemplated my decision and decided that I didn't want to make her even sadder.
"I promise" I said while smiling at her. She held up her pinky and said "pinky promise?". I smiled and raised my pinky to intertwine with hers. "Pinky promise". As soon as I said those words, she took off, running to her house smiling. I got up off the ground and headed to my car to go back home.
...
When I was finally back in Toronto, I stopped by The Dot to grab a burger when I passed by the alleyway that head to the ravine. There was a girl while short, curly auburn hair going on a phsyco rampage. She was throwing garbage cans all over the place, kicking the recycling bins, and punching the walls.
As I stared to approach her, she abruptly turned around and was scared when she saw me. She started staring at me, wide eyed, thinking I was going to do something to her. "Are you okay?" I asked her, "Your hand is bleeding".
She looked down on her hand, looked back at me and nodded. "I'm fine" she said and quickly ran away. "Wait!" I yelled but she wouldn't turn back. Who was this girl…
(Clare's POV)
This has to be the worst feeling in the world. Knowing that someone slipped out of your grasp and…you couldn't do anything to stop it. He was the only one in my life that actually made me smile. I can tell he didn't hate me, unlike my mother.
When she told me that my father was dead…I didn't cry, I didn't mourn, I didn't do anything. I refused to believe that he was dead. For lack of better words, I was in denial.
Entry #36
Dear Agony, having someone in your life taken away from you is the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes you are given the chance to save them or, let them die. Even though I was raised a Christian, I don't believe in heaven or hell. People might go where ever they want, I guess. When you lose someone that is close to you…sometimes the only option you have, is to turn to your little cousin despair…
I raced out the door after she told me this and just ran. I eventually got so tired, that my lings were on fire. My legs felt jellylike, and so I just collapsed. I was near The Dot so i didn't run far enough to get away and get lost. Damn! I shook my head and got back up. I started to walk back home when I saw an alleyway. Hm, maybe I'll get luck and get raped or just die.
I started walking to the alley and just stood there. I was surrounded by garbage cans and recycling bins. I don't know what happened, but something in my head just jerked. I started going insane. I started to throw garbage cans all over the place, kicking the recycling bins and punching the walls. I've just had enough of all the bullshit and mishaps in my life. I just wanted it all to end.
This time, I punched the wall so hard, that I heard my knuckles crack and my hand started bleeding. At that moment, I didn't feel any pain. No physical pain can compare to the emotional and mental suffering that I am going through.
I heard something behind me and quickly turned around. There was a guy around my age with shaggy dark brown hair and piercing, light green eyes. He was gorgeous. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Your hand is bleeding". I looked down at my hand and it was in fact bleeding. I haven't even noticed.
I can't be around him. There is something about him that I find comfort in. "I'm fine", I said coldly and just started running. "Wait!" I heard him call out. I didn't listen, I just ran…
How was that? Hope you guys like it! I'm trying an experiment here just to see if it works so….. 15 reviews=next chapter love you guys!
