Chapter 2
Sheriff Taylor sat at his desk. He heard a door slam. He looked up. It was his deputy, Barney Fife.
Barney was the high-strung-type. He overreacted over the slightest disturbance of order. Andy was cool and calm, and so could usually keep Barney from getting too carried away.
"Hey Ange." said Barney.
"Yeah Barn?"
"Is Otis here?"
"A 'course he's here. He tumbles in drunk-as-a-skunk every other weekend." said Andy.
"I think I got a way ta solve this problem." said Barney. He showed Andy a book entitled 'Weird Thing' with a pentagram on the cover. "This book says all about ESP and hypnosis and other spiritual junk. I'm gonna use its knowledge to try and get the location a those stills from Otis."
"Barn, I don't think-"
"Now Andy! This book written by actual witches! It's guaranteed to work!"
"All right. If you think it'll work, you can try it on Otis."
Barney walked over to the left cell and unlocked it. He went in and began to shake Otis.
"Otis! Otis! Otis, wake up!" he whispered.
Otis sat up. He was a short, fat man with a stubble and thinning hair. He sat up and glared at Barney.
"Barney! What is it this time?!" Otis asked.
Barney pulled a miniature pendulum out of his breast pocket.
"Otis. You are getting sleepy. Veeeery sleeepy. When I count to three, you will give the location of the still and the owner of the still." he said.
"Location and owner…" said Otis. "The location is 324 Elm Street. The owner is Bernard Milton Fife…"
"Ya hear that Andy?" said Barney excitedly. "Write that down! 324 Elm-. Wait a minute. That's my house! I'm Bernard Milton Fife!"
Otis began to cackle hysterically. Andy just smirked and shook his head. Barney flashed him a dirty look.
"Oh you're real funny! A regular ol' Jerry Seinfeld, aren't ya?!" he said angrily.
"Now Barn…" said Andy.
Just then an older woman walked in. It was Andy's Aunt Bee. Aunt Bee had raised Andy when he was a boy. Now Andy was a widower, and she was his housekeeper and helped raise his son, Opie.
"Oh Andy. Miss Ellie Walker is moving!" said Aunt Bee.
"What now?" said Andy. Ellie the lady-druggist and Andy were unofficial lovers. They had gone to a dance together and gone on a few picnics. But that was about it.
"Excuse me Aunt Bee. Barney, keep an eye on things while I'm gone." Andy walked out of the courthouse and down to Ellie's house.
"Scuse me, Miss Walker? May I ask why it is that you happen ta be leavin?
"Well Andy! We're not in a relationship. My moving is none of your business!" said Ellie.
"Now Miss Walker! We might not be official, but you've got to admit we have deep feelings for each other. Now if that's not love, then I don't know what it is." said Andy.
"Well maybe it's not love." said Ellie. "Maybe I don't feel what you feel. Face it Andy. We've got nothing in common. Now my cab is here. Goodbye Andy."
And with that, Ellie Walker went out of Andy's life, almost as suddenly as she came into it. Andy was understandably heart broken. He had hoped to spend the rest of his life with her. He had had bigger losses. After work, he went straight home. Aunt Bee and Opie were waiting with dinner.
"Hey Pa, what's wrong?" asked Opie.
"Miss Walker is moving away. And the two of us had ourselves a argument."
Opie looked down. He said meekly, "I guess you didn't get the feelin then. The feelin ya got with Ma." Opie had wished for a long time that he would get a mother. He had hoped Miss Walker would be the one.
"Well, I reckon it's time we went to bed. Come on up stairs Ope." said Andy.
The next day, Gomer Pyle, one of the mechanics at the Wally's filling station, road into town. He was towing a battered car.
"Hey Andy! Some young ladys were in an accident! I told them you'd come and get them." said Gomer.
"Alright." said Andy. Gomer began to walk off. Andy stopped him.
"Hey Gomer! Where are they, exactly?
"Oh yeah! Sorry 'bout that Andy! They're 5 miles north of town."
"Alright then, Gomer. Just let me finish this."
After he finished up his paperwork and got into the squad car, Andy drove to where Gomer said. He saw a small girl, a woman dressed like a maid with horns, and a woman in office clothes. But there was another woman. She had almost no bust, and eyes like dead fish, but she was the one who caught Andy's eye.
"Well now," said Andy. "Welcome to Mayberry. I'm Sheriff Andy Taylor."
