Naruto and the Unconventional Sealing
Summary: AU What if when Minato tried to seal the kyuubi in Naruto, he managed to summon not the Shinigami, but instead Death?
I do not own Naruto or the Discworld Series. If I owned Naruto, Sakura would have gotten out of her fan-girl phase sooner. I have to say that I can't think of any way to improve the Discworld series. Besides Kishimoto owns Naruto and Terry Pratchett owns the Discworld Series.
"Normal person speaking"
"This means someone is thinking these lines."
Flashbacks will have a break before and after.
Death, demons (or in some cases Inners) speak and think like this.
A/N: New and hopefully easier to read!
Chapter 2: Enter the Ever popular and highly visible ninja Naruto.
It was about 6:30 AM when a very annoying alarm clock went off on the other side of the room protected by a barrier that blocked projectiles and a seal that made it self-repair. This may seem like a lot of effort for something as simple as an alarm clock, and the truth is in most cases it was. However, in the case of the Namikaze family's son it was necessary. Their son Naruto had a nasty habit of throwing items at said clock. They weren't always pointy projectiles such has shuriken or kunai a lot of the time they were though. After he started training with said weapons it became a hassle and costly to consistently replace the clock, so his Father, a seal master, created a seal that protected the clock from airborne assaults but not from Naruto smashing it with his fist. That is the reason for the self-repair seal. Though this seal seemed to be a gift from Kami him/herself it was soon unfortunately discovered that it could only work on small appliances and clocks.
Cerulean eyes opened and glared at said clock as he went and smashed it. It felt good to shut the thing up like that. At the same time, the cerulean eyed blonde was thankful his dad made that seal for it. Naruto didn't like costing his mom and dad money, but he wasn't always a morning person. He was working on it, very slowly but he wasn't there yet. Even if his family was well off and had plenty of money the Namikaze's raised their offspring to know the value of money and not take it for granted.
He was only eight, and given a very strict allowance. This let him learn what really mattered was family and friends that cared and loved you for who you were and not for your status or money. The Uchiha's on the other hand weren't quite the same way. Naruto was always taught by his parents that real honor and respect couldn't be bought with money alone.
He also knew of the 'burden' he carried and was firmly told that he was not the demon but instead its jailor. Most of the village knew this about him and his dad explained to them in a very clear manner that Naruto, unlike other Jinchuriki was neither to be used as a weapon nor someone to fear and hate. Minato also asked the ninja and civilians alike if the loved ones they lost would want them to mistreat the boy that protected the village with his every breath and kept them alive and well. This caused almost the entire village, after thinking about it, to realize that they shouldn't think of the boy as the Kyuubi but as a human. The Fourth Hokage also stressed that they treat Naruto like any other kid regardless of his parentage. He would be damned if his kid had too much of an ego because everyone worshiped him when he hadn't done anything he remembered to deserve such treatment.
Death meanwhile was enjoying these years in a lawn chair relaxing, except for when he had to meet someone that had an appointment with him directly. Regardless, Death was glad that this boy's life was for the most part without 'DRAMA'. He then heard a deep, would be menacing to Humans, voice growl out, "I am the Kyuubi! King of the Bijuu! I should not be locked up like this." Death looked at the 'Fox Demon' and said, "Stop talking. I grow tired of your complaining. You do realize I am Death right? Meaning I can actually cease your existence. You know full well the agreement all Bijuu and other 'Immortals' in this world make with me." Death used the term immortals loosely here. The truth was that if the Biju and other so called immortals were actually immoral he wouldn't be able to see them since they would be beyond his 'powers'. So instead the 'immortals' here and him made a deal they would be left alone and help out with some of the living's Issues in this world, and he would leave them alone. The Biju on the other hand were just large amounts of energy that had formed conscious thought. Usually they were dealt with by the inhabitants of this world and sealed away when they attacked humans on their own. Usually the humans that died in those cases were supposed to die. With the Kyuubi things hadn't happened like they were supposed to happen.
Death's comment caused the very unhappy Bijuu to frown and say. "You know you take all the fun out of immortality right?"
"What are you complaining about now fox?" inquired Death.
"I can't even tempt or try to influence the boy. All I can do is sit here. In this cage watching you relax and hearing you sing. Not that I mind the singing bit, after all you have a very good singing voice. Anyways you get the point." The Kyuubi stated.
Death turned and looked at the Kyuubi and grinned in the way Death grins. This really unsettled the nine-tailed fox, 'King of the Bijuu' and most powerful 'Demon' in the shinobi world. Death then said, "I will allow you to try and tempt the boy when he first meets us. However, I already know how it will end."
"Ha! I think you underestimate me 'Death'. I will make the boy give into me. Then you will give me a taste of that stuff in the green bottle that you're so fond of!" Laughed the Kyuubi.
Death glared at Kyuubi. Which scared the Kyuubi so bad, he thought he was some helpless little mortal kit in the human world surrounded by predators trying to eat him. Death stated in a hollow and echoing voice like he always did, "It took me long enough to befriend the green bottle. I will not let you have him even if you did somehow get the boy to do your every whim." This shut up the Kyuubi for the moment.
Death was serious, the green bottle was his first friend from the Mortal world and he was protective of his friend. Death then sat back and enjoyed the quite. It would be a few years before he came in contact with Naruto in his mind-scape. Things were going pretty well right now and should be 'DRAMA!' free for some time to come for the young blonde haired kid. Also to Death's satisfaction, Minato took his advice about training the would be ninjas well and without giving his son special training.
Minato hadn't trained his son to be far ahead of his class or anything like that, since he wanted Naruto to form Bonds with others on his own and develop his own style. He did however help his son out with the basics if he needed it and gave him some exercises in chakra control since he needed them to just stay on equal footing in that department with his classmates due to his high reserves. He also had Naruto do exercises daily. Nothing to intense he was still young after all, just enough to keep him strong and healthy.
Naruto while getting ready thought of some pranks he could pull off without getting caught. He loved pranks after all and the only good prank was one that you didn't get caught doing. Naruto knew that if he was actually caught he would get in trouble with the Hokage who was also his father. He didn't want to get in trouble with his father or mother.
His mother, Kushina, said he got his prankster spirit from her along with his love/obsession for ramen. To Naruto and everyone else, it was obvious that his unruly and wild hair came from his Father. Naruto cared a lot for his father, Minato, and the best thing was Minato somehow managed to keep his job and private life separate.
This being the case he would punish Naruto for getting caught pulling a prank. However, if Naruto pulled a prank and wasn't caught he would be congratulated by his dad for his planning and stealth skills, and the actual prank itself if it was done well which was often the case with Naruto.
Minato also had an uncanny ability for actually finishing all his paperwork so fast that even the council couldn't say anything bad about his abilities as Hokage unless they lied and then it would be all too obvious they were lying. So his dad spent plenty of time with his family.
While Naruto was getting ready for the day his dad was working in his office and Sarutobi, the third Hokage, was at the moment paying him a visit. The third Hokage couldn't help but ask him how he managed to always be on top of the paper work. Even though Sarutobi was now retired he was still haunted by nightmares about the piles of paperwork he had during his tenure as Hokage. When asked this Minato just smiled and said, "It is a double S ranked secret, but surely 'The Professor' could figure it out if he thought about all his jutsus especially bushins(clones)".
After thinking for a bit Sarutobi hit his forehead with his hand and cursed himself for not thinking of that. Minato just laughed and proudly said, "Naruto already has that figured out. If he becomes Hokage like he dreams of becoming, he will probably be even smarter and more creative than I am." The previous Hokage and his successor laughed at this thought. They both remembered when a six year old Naruto was spending the day with his dad and was told about the Kage Bushin (Shadow clone).
-Flashback-
Naruto with wide eyes said out loud "You mean that if I learned that technique I could do all of my chores at the same time?" The fourth nodded at this and Naruto whooped out loud and asked if he could learn this jutsu. Minato agreed to it and said, "When you are older I will teach it too you. It can also help with training in a certain way." Naruto was about to pout, but was cut off by Sarutobi who explained to him," Naruto. It isn't that your dad wants to keep you from learning it. He just doesn't want you accidentally killing yourself. The technique takes a lot of chakra and someone can exhaust their self from just learning it even to the point of death. This makes it forbidden, but due to your circumstances you have really large chakra reserves so you will be able to use it." Naruto was smiling after hearing that. He could learn a really cool jutsu. Sarutobi continued, "Even with your large reserves it would still be too dangerous for you to learn it right now."
Naruto looked at the elderly and retired third Hokage and quickly nodded. Naruto would do all he could to protect those precious to him, but also learned from his parents that being reckless would only make things worse for those he cared about, either because he ended up badly hurting himself or worried them sick causing them to lose concentration, which to a ninja could mean death. Naruto also knew once he did become a ninja and had a team he should do what he can to be there for them at all times. 'Those that don't follow their orders are trash. However, those that abandon their teammates even for the sake of the mission are worse than trash.' Was his father's teaching to him. Minato had then explained that when he took a team of genin he always taught them this and expected them to be there for their teammates, before he started teaching them anything. He wouldn't go into detail about how he found out if they could be teammates with each other or not though.
- End flashback-
Inside Naruto's mind-scape Death was getting ready to leave to meet with his daughter and her husband. They were going to celebrate their anniversary and had somehow heard of this amazing place called La Sevegas or something like that. The only problem was that their source claimed to have gotten the information he heard from a cat that had successfully gotten Schrodinger to test travel through the space-time continuum. They didn't question how the guy was able to speak with cats. Things like that just happened on the discworld where the man lived. Apparently the cat managed to go to some place in the future or past in a different plane of existence and returned after staying for a couple of weeks. The cat said it had lots of wonderful lights and amazing shows and casinos everywhere. For this to happen it required a freak accident involving a sweet potato, a wizard from the discworld that lost his three week old dirty socks covered in chocolate, and "The Luggage".
However, since time and space mean nothing to Death and he was for all intents and purposes on his vacation. His daughter and son-in-law asked if he could take them there. Death hadn't been to this La Sevegas place in a good while even by his standards so he agreed. "Kyuubi. I am going for a bit. Do you want anything from this La Sevegas place?" echoed Death's voice.
Kyuubi thought for a bit and after lots of hard thinking involving multiple choices. He came up with an answer. "Get me a shot glass or two along with a postcard from one of those casinos you visit there, and if you can manage it, A single poker chip from every one you visit." Clearly, Kyuubi choose the all of the above choice.
Death simply nodded, and called for his mount. "Binky come to me." Soon a magnificent white horse was next to Death. Kyuubi blinked for a couple of seconds and then had to ask, "Wait…. You ride a horse named Binky?" Death responded in a flat and emotionless voice that somehow echoed from everywhere. "Yes. Is that a problem? He is the fastest mount you could ever come across."
Kyuubi shook his head and placed a large fiery paw on his nose sighing before responding. "No….. I just thought it would be something…. Different I guess."
Death turned to the Kyuubi and said in an unconcerned hollow voice. "Everyone always thinks I should ride a skeletal horse. I tried. But they are very ineffective. Always literally falling apart on you at the worst times. If I was one to enjoy drama I would be very upset with them. Seeing that arriving and then having to put your mount back together isn't dramatic. Instead it is rather funny, but I hate drama and like I said it isn't very efficient using a skeletal horse. Bye Kyuubi." With that Death and his mount Binky, disappeared.
Kyuubi was still caught off guard by the fact that Death had a mount named "Binky" before he went back to doing the only thing he could for now, watch Naruto's life play out in front of his eyes. "Oh look. He is about to go to the Ninja Academy. HA. Big surprise there, the Fourth Hokage's son going to the Ninja Academy. Who would have thought?" Said Kyuubi to no one in particular in a very bored and sarcastic tone.
A/N: Second Chapter. If you read this chapter please review and tell me what you think of it so far. As far as the crossover stuff goes Death will most likely be the only character to cross over. Other characters and aspects of the discworld may be mentioned in passing like the last bit here. Also be warned that there will be Sasuke bashing.
