Aubrey's POV

I had a major headache. Maybe all those pills weren't such a good idea. I felt many tubes up and down my arms. There was also a loud annoying beeping noise by my head. I think I was lying down in some sort of bed. The sheets were scratchy and the pillows were hard. I wasn't meant to be here. I don't belong here. Where ever here was. Whatever here is.

I fought against the urge to open my eyes. The urge had won though. My eyes fluttered open as I took a sharp breath in. I looked around and noticed that I was at the hospital. The bleached stain floor tiles, the green curtains, and the to bright shade of yellow walls gave me the hints. But this isn't where I was supposed to be. It wasn't where I was aiming to be. I should have been buried six feet under the ground next to my loved one.

I felt a cold hand grasp onto mine No words were spoken, and I didn't dare look at her disapproving eyes. My own mother didn't care about me before, so why would she now? Was it her at my apartment? Was it her calling to me? Was she the one who brought me here? Thousand of questions came through my mind and I couldn't answer a single one.

"Someone wants to see you." she said. I don't think she even rejoiced at the fact that I was still alive But then again that could be a good thing because I'd be hurting one less person when I'd die and sail away from this formality they called a fucking life.

I felt my mother's hand slip and her heels clack out into the hall. I take a look out the window and noticed it's raining. I wonder if I had died if my mother would be crying right now. Probably not though.

I felt another hand grab onto mine I look up to him, but quickly look away. Wasn't he on tour with 'All Time Low'? I can't believe he was here. He grabs my chin forcing me to look up to him. I feel guilty right away, and tears well up in my eyes. He had gone away with his band and I had meet Liam. He played all over the United States, and I hung out with Liam. And sadly Liam tore me away from him. From my best friend since grade school. From my Zack (Zachary) Steven Merrick.

"Why?" was all he asked.

We sat in silence. I was thinking how to answer him. I was afraid to talk though. Maybe by not talking he'd give up on me. Maybe I should just stop caring about everything. He was the only thing that mattered. I had to remember that though. I had to remember Liam no matter what ever one else said and did.

"Aubrey, why?" Zack asked again. As if it wasn't already clear.

"... Why are you here? What are you doing here?" I asked him back not wanting to explain anything to him.

"I came as soon as I heard because," he trailed off. "I came because I couldn't stand the fact that you would just give your life away for him. You've got so much to live for and you don't even know it," he was angry. He had every right to be. I couldn't blame him for caring too much.

Zack was like the big brother I never had. Being an only child, I was never protected from bullies. That was until some boy dumped sand in my hair and Zack stood up for me. We then became best friends. It was Zack, his older brother Broyce, and me. It was always the three of us. Zack always helped me stay on my feet though. Emotionally or physically. Broyce tried to help and now I thank them. But now Zack was pushing my buttons. I knew what I

was doing. But it wasn't for Liam, it was for us.

"You don't know that," I spat looking him straight in the eye.

I knew I had just hit a nerve by saying that. But what did he know I was doing for him or for Liam? He doesn't! We haven't even talked for months and he still thinks he knows me well? Even though I don't like to admit it, I have changed a lot over the last few months. My world was Liam. And Liam's world was cigarettes, drugs, and me.

Zack tensed a little, and I felt guilty. But I was too tired to even think of a proper apology. "I'm only trying to help you because I know you. Well I knew you before he changed you," he muttered the last part.

Those words stung like a bee. I didn't let it get to me though. I was stubborn and headstrong. I didn't need his help. I'd be fine by myself. Zack's warning we're nothing but stupid side notes that I consider trash. They meant nothing. And they still do mean nothing to me.

I don't know why I was acting bitter about all of this. But I knew how he felt about my Liam, and it hurt to know he never approved of him. Zack and I drifted apart because I chose Liam over him. Zack thought Liam was going to kill himself, and I guess in a way he did. He did so many cigarettes that it led to lung cancer. And he still smoked after that. Two months later he's buried underground, and I'm here. But with Zack I don't know how or why we got along before. We were two completely different people.

"I don't need your help!" I spat as I tried to take my hand away from him. He tightened his grip, but yet it was still sorta comfortable.

"I can't believe you're actually being stubborn about this! Why won't you let me help you?" he said shaking his head. So much disapproval showed on his face.

"I can't believe your starting to hate me cause of Liam!" I countered back as he rolled his eyes with all the anger he could stir.

"Stop it, okay?" he pleaded. "I just want you to find yourself again."

"I know who I am Zack, you don't need to help me rediscover myself because I'm only going to find the same answer." I said. But I knew deep inside that I wasn't the same person I knew back then.

I wanted my old life back and for everything to be okay again. I couldn't bare all this depression and all the thoughts about Liam. It was just too much for me to handle. I can't believe I let it get this far. I looked away from Zack as I felt my eyes well up.

"You should go Zack. I'm just gonna end up falling asleep." I said and let go of his hand.

Zack tried to look at my face to see if I was crying. Usually I was so good at hiding my emotions, but I, well I just had to hide my face instead today. I couldn't let anyone see that I was weak. I had to be strong. For myself, for Liam, for us. I needed to get out of this hospital. I felt like as if it was a prison and I was a prisoner.

I was discharged from the hospital a week later. I refused to answer any questions that were asked. I found out it was actually Zack who found me at my apartment. I would thank him eventually.

For now I was back at my mother's. I got my old room and well just had to be watched over I guess. I wasn't trusted to live by myself anymore. I started to hear voices downstairs. Was my mom and Zack talking about me? I opened the door and tiptoed to the top of the stairs. I sat on the top step and listened closely.

"I think it'll be good for her. I mean she'll get away from here, and just get a fresh start," Zack said to my mother.

"Zack, if she tried to kill herself because she lost something she loved dearly, what's moving to Baltimore going to do? For all I know when she comes back she'll be doing drugs and smoking and-"

"I'll watch over her like I always have. You don't need to worry Mrs. Grennce," Zack said sincerely.

Wait their talking about me moving to Baltimore? I can't! I'm well adjusted here, and moving would just not help me. I can't move there. It'll be to far from Liam. I don't wanna forget everything I've known and learned here. They think it'd be best for me though. Well Zack at least thinks it'll be best. I just, U don't know. I guess it's just I'd be empty without these memories that haunt me everyday. I know that sounds twisted but it's true.

"Zack, I don't know. I'm so worried about her. And I was thinking of maybe checking her into a-"

"She's not crazy Mrs. Greence," Zack stated furiously. I had never seen him disrespect my mother or anyone older than him. And he was trying he's hardest not to disrespect her. "She just needs time to move on."

I had heard enough by now and retreated to my room. I shut the door quietly and headed to the edge of my bed. I cried into my hands as I thought of Liam. It had only been a week since the burial. I wasn't aloud to go though. His mother thought I made him smoke and do drugs, but I didn't. If anything I tried to stop him.

I heard a knock at the door and quickly wiped away my tears. I refuse to let anyone see me cry. It just shows that I'm as weak as any other human. But I won't show weakness for Liam. I know if he was here, he'd laugh at me for crying. I put my memories aside and walk to my door.

"Aubrey, sweetie can I talk to you?" my mother asked.

"Sure, what do you wanna talk about?" I asked going back to the edge of my bed. My mother sat next to me and grabbed my hands.

"Aubrey what do you think about moving to California with Zack?" she asked tightening her grip.

"I'm not really sure mom. I mean, it's just…" I trialed off thinking about my options. One, I could stay with my mom until she brought me to a mental hospital. Or two, I could live with Zack until he left for tour again. Now that I think of it I like option two more.

"It's up to you sweetie, whatever you want is fine with me." my mother said getting up to leave my room.

"I want to move to California with Zack." I told my mother.

"Oh, well ok then, I'll go tell him." she said looking down.

"No mom, I'll tell him." I said with my head held high.

Maybe life will turn out better than I thought. Moving to Baltimore will mean that I can do whatever I want. Maybe after everything I've been through someone saw it was my time to be happy and shine.