Title; Crashing
Disclaimer; Nope I don't own any of the Naruto characters.
They weren't an ordinary couple I thought, no not ordinary in any sense.
The flat they shared seemed a testament to that much. I'd been with Sasuke and Naruto when they'd stumbled across a market vendor selling what was advertised as 'Real Ninja Weapons' and spent most of their money on cheap looking katanas.
Tenten took that childish urge to buy a shiny weapon and ran with it like the Flash on steroids. There didn't seem to be a wall or surface that went without the loving touch of some macabre wicked blade or any other multitude of exotic weapon…and the occasional piece of laundry, it was kind of disconcerting to see a broadsword topped with a stray abandoned bra.
"How long will the repairs take?" questioned the dark Uchiha taking a seat across from me and sliding a cup of coffee to me as he nestled his own protectively. A shout distracted me momentarily as Tenten apparently was killed. The brunette, her hair tied up in messy buns, was strewn across the couch clad only in lounge pants and an off white bra with what I was certain was ketchup stains. She hurled insults at the glowing TV screen, none of which attracted her partners attention or even so much as a glance.
"About a week I think, if it's any longer I can ask Naruto or…" he thankfully shushed me before I could go on. As strange as crashing with Sasuke and Tenten would be I imagined staying with Naruto or heaven help me Lee would be much more awkward.
"You can stay as long as you need." At the time I was genuinely grateful for the offer, even with all the awkwardness that was sure to come with my stay.
I first became convinced my friends were secretly psychotic the next day as I unintentionally observed their morning ritual. It involved a lot more chaos and shouting than I would have thought a morning tradition could possibly have.
For a start I was woken first by the noise of an argument about when the alarm clock had been set and then fifteen minutes later as the pair…reconciled, rather loudly.
That was almost pleasant compared to the intensity of morning coffee. The clearly self-confident Tenten was again dressed casually showing off her ripped stomach muscles as she reclined half-dressed on one of the kitchen chairs but more unusually Sasuke was in a similar state glaring groggy eyed at the coffee machine as it did its vital work. I was pretty certain his t-shirt was inside out, and that it was unnecessary to wear a belt with sweatpants.
"How'd you sleep?" I asked cringing at the amount of pep I could hear in my own tone. Both zombies blinked back at me baffled it seemed by the question before almost simultaneously they growled back a 'fine'.
Coffee brought them back to themselves, and started a whole new level of strangeness. The Uchiha began on breakfast only after Tenten had commented that her wife would have it prepared soon and received a dark glance in turn. Then the mischievous brown eyes had flickered back to me.
"So seeing anyone these days Pinkie?" she asked leaning forward and offering me a fantastic view of her cleavage…which quite frankly I wished she'd stop doing, if I wanted my self-esteem thrashed I could've tried rooming with Hinata….or Temari…or maybe I should get some non-busty friends. I missed the look Sasuke threw his other half.
"Um no not really, too busy with work." My tone went a bit off course at the end as I mentioned work, Tenten had been laid off some five weeks ago and had still not managed to find another job. She didn't seem to be upset but I was the nervous type…and Tenten was the highly aggressive type as the bruises on Sasuke's exposed neck gave testament to.
"What about Lee, is he still writing those love letters?" I could feel my cheeks heat up and tossed the Uchiha's back a dirty look of my own. Those letters were supposed to be a secret between us and hence undisclosed to his crazy girlfriend. Wisely he moved across the room to busy himself in a cupboard.
"Lee's nice but um-" that's about as far as I got before I realised my mistake in starting gently. Tenten beamed clapping a hand on my shoulder raising herself up in one fluid motion. I'd like to say I reacted with more defiance than a deer caught in headlights…but that would have been a lie.
"I'll set us up a double date then." Announced the brunette stepping out of the kitchen in what turned out to be a search for her mobile phone, as much became apparent after she started shouting for Sasuke to tell her where it was.
"Thanks for that." The Uchiha grumbled after a brief shout of 'how the hell should I know' in regards to the phone. I blinked at him in confusion still feeling mildly shell shocked.
"What just happened Sasuke?" I asked my friend as he set our breakfast onto the table, patting my shoulder in an uncharacteristically comforting manner.
"Tenten is scheming…trust nothing and no one." He whispered solemnly before said woman returned speaking adamantly over the phone to her childhood friend, even muffled after passing through the speaker I could hear the excited man's voice whooping. Was it my imagination that added the evil gleam to the brunette's eyes, somehow I didn't think so.
"What have you made us accessories to Tenten?" asked the Uchiha with a feigned disinterest as he prodded his breakfast ideally.
"Oh don't be like that, we're just going to a play is all." There was a moment between the two. The kind you'd expect to see between two rival spies, one running a gambit on the other and the other weighing up the consequences to calling the first's bluff.
Lee turned up in a green tuxedo and Sasuke and Tenten…didn't. Both were instead waiting for us in the bar we'd arranged to go to afterwards…looking amused. I couldn't help feel at least Sasuke had betrayed me in some fashion despite his warning. Neither of them had even dressed up I noted as I awkwardly shimmied into the booth in my dress as Tenten and Lee disappeared to the bar.
"What happened?" I bit out snatching his bourbon away for a much needed drink…neither had mentioned the play we'd be seeing was to be directed and starred in by Lee's old mentor Gai…or that there would be audience participation.
"We got held up getting ready." He answered with a shrug. I gave him a pointed look before I indignantly pointed out neither of them had changed clothing since I'd seen them this afternoon.
"Well we sort of got distracted at the halfway nakedness part." He answered with a chuckle that bordered on a giggle. I raised an eyebrow at the inanely grinning man.
"You're drunk aren't you?" It wasn't fair, I went to Gai's play with Lee, he skipped it and had sex…if anyone deserved to be drunk it was me. I'd get on doing that right now.
More vodka and cranberries than I could count later, Lee had disappeared after a call from what I suspected was his mother and I was third wheel once again to the odd couple. The elder of the two was clearly holding up better as Sasuke had spilled at least half of his current drink and allowed his head to roll onto his girlfriend's shoulder.
It was weird to see, the Uchiha vulnerable and trusting like that but it did make me reconsider. Maybe there insane chemistry wasn't so bad.
"He's cute now but give him a minute and he'll start trying to hump my leg." Cracked Tenten throwing a look of false exasperation towards me…okay so insane was bad.
A bored pointless little oneshot to go with the first pointless. Hope you enjoyed.
R&R
