Total Drama Smack Down

Cast List!

Chris McLean sat back in his chair, re-reading the cast list one final time, before he gave out his public announcement. One he felt he was ready, the director called "action!" and Chris smiled wide.

"Hey out there, Total Drama fans! Are you ready for a TDI season 2? It's almost here, with Total Drama Smackdown!"

Automated applause sounded throughout the room, and Chris nodded.

"Returning cast members are…Gwen, Trent, Courtney, Duncan, Leshawna, DJ, Bridgette, Justin, Lindsay, Heather, Ezekiel, Cody, Eva, Izzy, and Noah!"

More applause. Chris looked pleased with himself.

"And introducing the new characters…Faye, Yun, Seth, Aaron, Charlie, Jaymes, Jackson, Addiesohn, Jin, Kat, Winter, Zane, JaLe, and Melissa!"

There was more cheering.

"And we are still accepting one more application…no more girls are being accepted, one more guy's. So send in those resumes!"

The commercial ended.

Soooo, that's the cast, minus one. But I need some of you to re-consider your crushes. If you're a girl and you told me Duncan (which was like everyone) please add one or two other people, just in case. We can't have a show full of girls liking Duncan. If we did, it's be like this…

In the Girls' Cabin

"OMG you guys canNOT like Duncan! I went out with him! He likes me! I'm calling my lawyers!" Courtney barked, walking to the other side of the room to scream angrily into a cell phone.

"We can't help that we like him," Jaymes said calmly, like she was trying to explain something to a two-year old having a tantrum.

"Listen, bitch, when I'm a super famous dancer, Duncan's gonna be my trophy husband," Addi interjected, forming herself to do a pirouette. "And that goes to all you bitches."

"You girls have all went nuts!" Yelled Leshawna. Faye nodded at her.

"Let the losers all take each other out," Heather said boredly from where she sat. "Less competition for me!"

"Do you realize that the sound of your voice is so annoying?" Melissa snapped, cutting her eyes at Heather. She fucking hated catty girls.

"Guys, guys, I'm sure we can work this out rationally!" Yelled Faye, scratching the right side of her head.

"Yeah!" Bridgette agreed. "Don't lose sight of what you're all here for!"

"I still have sight of why I'm here," Addi snapped, not liking Bridgette's assuming things.

Kat scoffed. "Yeah, you've got your eye on the ball," she deadpanned.

Charlie laughed, pulling out her cell phone to call her friends. "You are not gonna believe what's happening," she said.

"He's mine!" Courtney said, snapping her phone shut.

"No, mine!" Addi argued.

"Just because I don't want to fight, that doesn't mean that I don't like Duncan," Melissa said.

"Same!" Agreed Jaymes, placing her hands on her hips.

"You guys are all being ridiculous," tried Winter.

And so all the girls got into a huge fight and everyone got hurt really bad except for Heather who hid the whole time, then told Chris about everything and because they were so banged up they all had to go home. Except Heather, of course.

Sad ending, right? Meanwhile, almost all the guys said they liked Bridgette. So this is what that would be like….

In the Boys' Cabin

"You know who is the most beautiful girl in the whole universe? Like, even more beautiful than Princess Leia?" Aaron said, looking out the window towards the girls' cabin.

Duncan snickered, rolling his eyes. "Who?"

"Bridgette." He drew her name out, like Buh-riiiiiidge-ette. He sighed and pushed his glasses up.

Jackson ran his hand through his hair, nodding at the Star Wars nerd. "She actually is pretty hot," he agreed. "She'd be the perfect pawn."

Zane rolled his eyes, glaring at the surfer boy. "How could you be so cruel?" he asked. "Bridgette is such a sweet lady."

Magically, Geoff popped out of nowhere, and started screaming in their faces until a fight started and all the boys had to go home. And Chris kept the money and spent it all on hair gel.

The freaking end. Sad, right? So, reconsider crushes, people! :D

Cast Stereotypes:

JaLe: The Hyper Fighter

Yun: The Hapkido Black-Belt

Aaron: The Star Wars Junky

Seth: The Karate-Trained Otaku

Faye: The Sexy Artistic Girl

Charlie: The Headstrong Feminist

Jaymes: The Nature Loving Tree Hugger Cutie

Jackson: The Hot Womanizing Strategist

Addi: The Dramatic Dancer

Jin: The Charismatic Kung-Fu Teacher

Kat: The Sarcastic Tomboy

Winter: The Punk Rocker

Melissa: The Sexy Scene

Zane: The Daredevil Musician