Title: No Regrets

Author: Jajibuba

Rating: K+

A/N: Hope you enjoy it. My first attempt at a Jibbs fic, actually my first NCIS fic come to think of it. Thanks to MissJayne for organising this wonderful Jibbsfest :) And if you don't get my Jenny's hair description, it is how it looked in Lost and found.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own NCIS or things would have turned out differently :(

Jenny woke to the birdsong emitting from the tree outside her window. Of course the birds didn't understand that on one of her rare days off she might actually want to sleep in. She placed a pillow over her head trying to muffle the sound, but she knew it was fruitless – once the sun was up so was she.

She dragged her eyes to her alarm clock, 6:45am, "At least that's a small sleep-in," she thought. Eventually she made it over to the shower and by 8am she had run out of things to do.

SECNAV had ordered her not to take ANY paperwork home so that the deputy director had a go and so she used up a 3 days' worth of her ever growing amount of holiday days. As a result she was stuck at home for 3 days with nothing to do and to top it off she had left her precious agency in the hand of an amateur… great.

She decided that maybe she should try and read a book. That was something she hadn't done in a while – she just never had the time to do it. She went over to the book shelves in her study, but she couldn't find something she wanted to read.

A thought crossed her mind that she wasn't the only one to be forced off duty for these 3 days – Gibbs had been forced off duty by SECNAV also since he took no holidays either. She was already worrying about the havoc Tony and Ziva could create together in 3 days without Gibbs to keep them in line.

A thought of "maybe I could go visit Jethro" crossed her mind, but she banished it immediately. Lately Jethro had been popping up more frequently in her thoughts. She had accepted a long time ago that she loved him and was never going to love anyone else.

She regretted leaving him all those years ago and she frequently imagined what her life could have been like… maybe she would have been a mother instead of the Director of NCIS.

"Regrets" she thought. "That's what my life is made up of… stupid pointless regrets."

She loved her job, she truly did. But sometimes it would be nice to come home to someone – to someone who loved you – to wake up next to them – to seek comfort in them when she needed it.

She felt a tear begin to trickle down her cheek. Angrily she wiped away. "Crying over a man Jennifer, that is appalling," she told herself, yet still the tears kept coming.

Eventually she gave in and let them run, curling up on the couch, folding her knees into her chest and placing her head gently on them.


Half an hour later she had made a decision. She was going to visit Jethro. She was going to try to make amends. She was going to show him that she was ready to risk everything for a chance at 'them'.

She returned to her bathroom upstairs to fix her make-up, streaked down her face after crying. In the mirror she saw her hair – "another regret" she thought – she had cut it short upon becoming director in order to get a more professional 'boyish' look in the hope that the men whom she worked with would take her more seriously.

Now at with it at 'almost touching her shoulders' length, she liked it better. It spiked off a bit – like a pixie cut. She was glad that she was once again able to pin it up. She sometimes wished though that she had never cut her hair off.

Grabbing her car keys off the key hanger, she walked outside closing the door behind her. She had sent her security detail off for the duration of her time off despite his protests. It had been a while since she had driven herself anywhere but she was sure she still had the hang of it.


The drive to Jethro's was short and uneventful. Jenny didn't have the heart to turn on the radio anymore. All these love songs made her heart ache for what she could have had – it sometimes set off a tear or two if it was a really good song.

She parked on the curb outside Jethro's house but remained in the car. She had no idea what she was doing here – she had no right to be here – she was the one who had left him ending their relationship in Paris, she couldn't go back to him asking for a second chance. Yet she knew if she didn't, she would probably live the rest of her life miserable and lonely. An old lady full of regrets and whose life was based on 'What ifs'.

Jenny didn't want to be alone when she was old. She always envisioned herself sitting on a porch swing, grey haired and old, next to a grey or greyer haired Jethro. Once there had been children and grandchildren in that picture but she knew realistically that it was too late for that to happen.

"Come on Jennifer Shepard," she told herself, stepping out of the car just a tiny bit slower than normal and walking up to Jethro's front door.

Her hand was poised to knock when the door opened from the inside and there stood Jethro, clothed in casual attire with a duffle bag slung over his left shoulder. He had a shocked expression on his face for less than a second before he raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner, waiting for Jenny to explain herself.

She stuttered trying to come up with a reasonable explanation before finally surrendering with a simple "Hi."

"Hello yourself," Gibbs replied looking Jenny up and down.

Jethro smiled leaving Jenny confused and then continued to his car, opening the boot and chucking the duffle bag in. Jenny's heart sunk. He already had plans – he was going away. She tried to peer into his boot to get some sort of clue as to where he was going. All she spied was his duffle bag and what appeared to be a bottle of Marine Lubricant. "Boating?" she thought but couldn't get anything else.

Jenny finally resorted to the easy way out – asking.

"Where are you going?"

"Away" – a typical Gibbs answer.

"Where to?"

"Why do you care?"

"Just curious."

"Huh," Gibbs smiled and shut his car boot with a loud bang and returned back into the house with Jenny following close behind.

Naturally Jenny wasn't satisfied with Gibbs previous answer so a minute later after watching him watch her she pressed on. "So are you going to answer my question or not?"

"I'd go for the latter I think," he smirked and walked off in the direction of the basement stairs with Jenny on his heels giving a frustrated "Humph".

She knew that Gibbs could feel her eyes boring into his back as she stood at the top of the stairs while he searched around downstairs for something.

Gibbs retrieved a flashlight sitting on the top shelf, smiling as he blew off the dust that had settled on it. He then proceeded to come back up the stairs and Jenny decided that this was enough.

"I won't let you pass unless you tell me where you're going," she stated as seriously as she possibly could manage.

"Is that so?" Gibbs questioned as he looked past Jenny back into the house.

"Yes," she replied the ghost of a smile playing on her lips – she knew she had won.

"Well if it concerns you so much I am going up to my cabin in the woods for the weekend – just because I can if you're wondering," Gibbs snapped pushing past Jenny and out to his car.

Jenny stayed where she was until she heard the car door slam, which was when she made one of her quickest decisions ever on how to deal with the situation.

She ran up the stairs cursing her choice of footwear and out the front door. Jenny then walked up to the passenger door of the car, taking a deep breath as she wasn't sure about what the answer was that she was going to receive, and opened it.

Jenny sat down in the seat clutching her nervously in front of her chest after closing the car door. She could feel eyes boring into her face as he waited expectantly for an explanation.

"Can I come?" she squeaked, the ugly face of regret rearing its head at this risky decision. She didn't know if she could take rejection, she was already so hurt inside that one last stab to the heart might be her last – even if it was the first one that wasn't self-inflicted.

Gibbs turned the keys in the ignition before asking "Do you need to stop by your place for some things?"


In just under an hour later, Jenny and Jethro were well on their way. Jenny had grabbed a few clothes and extras not knowing what she would find at this mysterious cabin. She was looking forward to this weekend away and also a bit anxious.

She didn't know how she had been granted this opportunity at a second chance but Jennifer Shepard sure wasn't going to let it pass her by.

She had been dreaming of this ever since she left Jethro back in Paris and it was finally happening – sort of. Jenny still didn't really know where their relationship stood. Was this a trip between friends or colleagues or possibly a trip to rekindle the fire that had burned in Paris? Still though she didn't want to rush things – this time she was going to do it right. She could only hope that Gibbs felt the same way.


They arrived at the Cabin at about 3pm after stopping over in a small town for lunch and then taking a walk to see the sights. The cabin was a small wooden structure nestled into the forest and entangled in ivy (not the poisonous stuff luckily). Jenny was in awe of it as soon as Gibbs notified her of its presence.

Jenny slowly opened her door after the car came to a stop, taking in her surroundings as she stood up. She didn't notice Jethro until she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Come on in, I'll show you round" said Gibbs taking Jenny's hand as if it was the most normal thing in the world and leading her towards the cabin.


20 minutes later Jethro had given Jenny a brief tour of the house and then insisted on going out to find some firewood by himself before it got dark. Jenny tried to come but Jethro insisted that she stay in the cabin.

Feeling a bit useless Jenny started putting the food that Jethro had bought – now enough for 2 – away into the cupboards. That simple task though was over within a matter of minutes.

Jenny began wandering back through the house until she came to the main room – a rustic old fireplace the centre point with a well-worn couch in front of it; "No TV" she mused, "doesn't surprise me". It was only then that Jenny noticed the shelf standing against the wall on the opposite side of the room.

Walking up to it she noticed a dozen or so books, one called 'French for Beginners' made her smile. The rest of the shelf though was taken up by photographs in picture frames.

Looking through them Jenny could feel tears running down her cheeks. Jethro and Kelly; Shannon; Shannon, Jethro and a grinning toddler Kelly; Mike and Jethro; she assumed there were almost 20 photos. Jenny couldn't believe that she hadn't known about Shannon and Kelly when she and Jethro were together. Thinking about how much pain Jethro must have been in and still be in made the tears run harder.

Jenny was sure that this was the most she had cried in a long time. She could feel herself beginning to come apart here in the quietness of the cabin, her feelings being bared for all to see. It was then that she noticed a photo in a plain wooden frame.

As she picked it up a stray tear landed on the photo, it washed away a circle of the dust that covered the glass. Blowing off the remaining dust revealed a photo of her and Jethro. They were standing in front of a fountain in Paris and she appeared to have just splashed Jethro with water. She had a smile that she hadn't seen in years, since Paris actually, beaming across her face. Her hand lay on Jethro's chest as they looked deeply into each other's eyes – unaware of anything but themselves.

"Ducky took that and gave it to me, it's one of my favourites," Jethro stated as he dropped a few logs into the basket next to the fire which was now roaring. Jenny had jumped at the sound of his voice, unaware that he had been in the room, let alone long enough for him to be able to light the fire. Jenny set the photo back onto the shelf. She didn't want to turn around and show Jethro the tears that were now steadily trickling down her face.

Jenny felt Jethro's hand come to rest on her shoulder as if he knew something was wrong. She attempted to shrug it off but Gibbs turned her around to face him. The moment he saw she was crying his features softened and he pulled Jenny into him and sat down on the couch. Jenny's head curled into Jethro's muscular chest as his arms wrapped around her and she let out all the emotion she had been bottling up for years.


Jenny and Jethro shared a silent dinner after the turn the afternoon had taken. Jenny felt embarrassed that Jethro had seen her so broken like that yet at the same time, she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

They finished their dinner and Jenny sat down as Jethro took the dishes back to the kitchen. He came back with a bag of marshmallows and two long pointy sticks.

"Found them while I was out wood hunting," he confessed, handing one to Jenny along with the packet of marshmallows.

"I'm sorry for you know, before," Jenny admitted as her hand brushed Jethro's.

"You needed it – no-one can keep their emotions bottled up behind a steel façade forever," he replied grapping a marshmallow and spearing it onto his stick.

As Jethro placed his marshmallow into the fire Jenny decided that this time was as good as any to try and take a step in the right direction.

"You know Jethro," she whispered "leaving you in Paris was one of my biggest regrets, I miss you, and I have never stopped loving you." She looked deep into Jethro's eyes and she felt he deserved an explanation.

"You didn't fit in my 5 point plan; I had to get revenge for my father –" her stammering was cut off by a pair of lips. She responded immediately, surprising herself. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could remember. He tasted tentatively with his tongue, and Jenny opened her mouth with a low moan.

The kiss grew heated until Jethro pulled away smiling "I love you too," he whispered into Jenny ear.

Jenny never thought she would ever hear that again. She grinned like a giddy teenager and placed her head once again on Jethro's chest.

Grabbing Jethro's forgotten marshmallow stick that was still in the fire Jenny attempted to bring it out so that she could eat it herself except it had melted during the time they had been 'busy' and just dropped straight off the stick.

"You made my marshmallow fall in the fire!" complained Jethro, an expression of mock anger plastered on his face. Jenny just smiled and seductively placed her own uncooked marshmallow whole into her mouth before bursting out into laughter.


Two people sat in front of a roaring fire. Their feelings now out in the open so their regrets could be forgotten so new memories could be made – and not just during this get away weekend – but for the rest of their lives.