Kichi arrived five minutes early despite the traffic, parked, and walked up the incline of the parking lot to get to the main Kaiba Corp Building was the tallest in the city, a steel and glass tower that commanded the skyline. She wondered why reports from within the tower of order seemed so disconnected from the image of Seto Kaiba that she remembered from the duelist tournaments. On the other hand, it was possible that competition was as far as his concentration and sternness went. She hook those thoughts away, going in with preconceived notions would blind her to what was truly happening on the field before her. She couldn't afford that as a professional. The receptionist was filing her nails with a strict dedication and she stood at the reception counter. She didn't bother to attempt to fix her appearance since she'd done that in the car, but put on her brightest smile and got the woman's attention.
"Hello I'm here for an interview for the secretary position?"
The entire lobby went silent and the room looked at her. She felt the tense and felt her body tense, ready to get out of the situation as quickly as possible.
"OH JESUS!"
She looked up, startled and came, around the desk. "Uhm..we're uh.. not currently looking for a secretary... actually we're perfectly fine without one... so uh... you can uh...good luck finding a job somewhere else."
Someone was sobbing not too far from the place she stood.
"No more... I like life!"
A group of the woman's co-workers were forcing her towards the exit doors and she ground in her heels and pointed to the Wanted :Secretary sign.
"Well what about that sign?"
"Uh...it's a joke! Quick take it down!"
It was burned off the wall with a flame thrower as they passed the automatic doors of the 1st floor cubicles and she stopped. About to reprimand them for the misuse of company property and the obvious safety hazard, but she didn't.
"Is Rei Tsuruga here?"
They stopped pushing and nodded, "She got here just a few minutes ago."
"Yo, Rei!"
Rei appeared and skipped over, "Yo."
"Why are these people telling me there's no open position for a secretary...?"
"Uhm... they're a little scared...we've been through some things. Hikaru compiled this list of things he might ask you based on past secretaries...you'll understand."
She looked over the list as Rei helped her co-worker carry some fainted pregnant woman towards he lounge who was babbling, "No more...no bombs! Not the jelly! Oh god the pink! No! NO!"
Obviously, Human Resources wasn't really doing their jobs as the people had seriously been traumatized it seemed. Why they continued coming to work she wasn't sure, but whatever the reason, she imagined that they mostly centered around a paycheck. After all, the economy was taking an odd turn as several of her clients had fretted with the popularity of card games and gaming technology. The industry was quickly taking over the market and outstripping the weapons industry. No doubt leading to the multiple attempts on Seto Kaiba's life and multiple kidnappings of Mokuba Kaiba. She shuddered to think, obviously his security force was also not doing their jobs or at the very least needed serious training.
When Rei rejoined her she looked at her, "What type of job have you set me up for?"
She smiled nervously and dragged her towards the elevator leading to Kaiba's office. Rei hit the button twice with no avail but when she punched the button and tapped on the door, the doors struggle closed and she heard the creaking of the elevator chords that sounded as if they really needed to be replaced. They arrived and Rei let out the breath she was holding before leading Kichi out on to the floor. Elevator death trap...great. The lobby on this floor was empty, ghostly empty with the incessant smack of pink bubble gum and bright pink working station near the door marked "C O. K i a" There was obviously something wrong with this place. The elevator was in disrepair...the C.E.O's door had letters hanging off.
"Rei?"
"Hm?" She asked.
"I'm going to get you for this..." She promised as she walked towards the bubble gum pink work station where the dyed blonde secretary popped gum.
"Hello, I'm here for an interview?"
She looked up and down Kichi's tall frame and popped her gum. "Not in that outfit I hope."
Kichi blinked and didn't even bother to point out that she was typing on the keyboard sideways or wearing the outfit of a business woman, the stripper version. A white blouse hanging off her shoulders and the neon pink of her bra's glitter showing through it and in between the unbuttoned collar. She wanted to laugh.
"Is Mr. Kaiba in? He should be expecting me."
"Yeah."
"May I go in?"
"I don't know, ask him."
She bit her lip and walked towards the door with a professional knock.
"I warn you! I've got this job in the bag~!..."
Between the hot pink bra pressing against the crisp white of the woman's shirt she really doubted that she knew of the correct way to use a keyboard.
"Come in, "A deep growl came through the door. She threw a look at Rei that promised a very stern conversation before she twisted the doorknob and walked in.
Rei came back down the stairs and stopped at Hikaru's work station with a heavy expression. He looked up and snorted, setting his soddering iron down and turning to her.
"How'd it go?" Hikaru asked with bated breath.
"She walked in the door."
"Really! I'm so proud of her! Why aren't you happy?"
"Because... now we have to hope that meeting Kaiba won't induce our deaths in mass..."
"Oh... he's not that bad."
The office quieted and looked at him sideways. And he hung his head in shame. Rei nodded. At least he understood that the statement and the sentiment were foolish.
"Okay so he is that bad my sister is tough! Even if he does make grown men...cry."
"Hikaru, your tears don't mean anything."
"To Rai they mean something..."
Rei laughed darkly.
"What's so funny?"
"If only you knew the devious meaning behind that..."
Seto Kaiba was not one for warm greetings, handshakes, or proper etiquette. He heard the familiar pattern of click-clack across the floor and the edge of a blue pencil skirt at his desk's edge as he poured over stock reports and department reports only to be newly astounded by the stupidity amongst his employees. What would he have to do for something to get done in a timely fashion? Or right for that matter? Who hired these idiots? And more importantly, why hadn't he realized that they weer idiots... This is what happened when he recedeed to upper management. It seemed that without his foot in so many people's asses, they couldn't get anything done right.
"Hello, I'm-"
"Sit down."
She didn't respond, but breathed out and took a seat. Good...she was obedient. He supposed that was a point on her side. Maybe a half of a point.
"You have the form right? Your resume?"
A neat stack of hardtack papers entered his vision with the familiar Kaiba Corp. Seal embossed on the top page of the application. He pulled them closer without catching the edges of very feminine fingers, with silver tips, in his eyes sight and pulled it to read the sheet and spin his chair around towards the window.
"Kichi Rasei..." He read skimming the application and then her resume. A few words came to mind as he read it: "diligent", "awarded", "capable", "acclaimed", "brass tacks"...her dossier was impressive...Worked in every country on the planet, speaks at least one language from each continent...glowing recommendations...
"Decent," he was never one to give compliments.
Kichi raised an eyebrow and sat back in her chair, crossing her ankles. If he was going to play it this way, she would give him a run for his money. He wanted to be the hard-hearted grinch, she would give him the equally hard hearted secretary that took shit from no one. And she could guarentee that she would win. She'd read up on Seto Kaiba, his company, and listened to the stories. The man was swamped and barely paddling along, crutching along in the sea of madness and had no idea that he was on the edge of drowning. Poor thing...
"Alright, let's begin." He turned around to face her and blinked in shock. Definitely wasn't expecting that. "At least you know how to dress for work."
Her expression didn't change as her bright amber-gold eyes stared through his. If she was ever in a staring contest she would always win just because her opponent would be blinded from the brightness. They were glowing now, maybe with amusement or smugness. She was obviously a capable woman and knew she was more than well qualified for the job. Her face was soft and glowing with an inner peace that very few people would ever possess in life. Her suit was pressed and crisp with light blue pinstripes running through the jacket over a nice white shirt and blue skirt. Did he mention she was drop-dead, holy mother of fuck, if he was anyone else she'd be spread out on his desk naked and screaming, gorgeous? Curvy and beautiful with a smile bright enough to lighten the shadows of the room. The suit was well-tailored to dance over the toned curves of her body and he was sure that she worked out regularly. If he was anyone else, he would have said he was in loveā¦but Seto Kaiba didn't do love, but he did do lust.
"Do you like computers?" He reconsidered the thought, "Wait, do you even know what a computer is?"
"Yes and yes."
"Do you know how a computer works? Do you know how to turn a computer on?"
"Yes and yes."
What type of person does he think I am? An idiot? She thought back to his current secretary and disregarded it. Never mind...
"We're making progress..." She looked a little amused.
Where the hell did they send me to?
"When you have a call waiting for you do you answer it or wait for your nails to dry?"
"Answer it."
"Do you leave work suddenly because you have a major hair appointment?"
"No."
He didn't comment that she looked like she'd just stepped off a run way with perfect ringlets cascading over the chignon at the back of her head. His eyes flickered back to the neatly manicured, natural looking, silver tipped nails and tried to fight back a few fantasies that came with them. While she appeared to be as put together as a woman who spent a lot of time in and out of salons, her answers were without hesitation, straightforward and without clarity questions. Maybe she'd been warned about the people that had occupied the position before her and were now and assumed that these were normal questions for this position.
"There might be hope for this one, " he sighed a little and continued. "Never mind, they get harder. Are you married and do you have marital issues that would require your crazy ex-husband to show up with a gun?"
"No and no.
"Are you running from the cops?"
"No."
"Can you program in Java, Python, C, C+, C++, Easy C,and C+++?"
"Yes."
Was that the only real question I've been asked so far? She realized that it was and he was as serious as he was when they began.
"Have you escaped from prison?" Does the Thunder Nation count?
"No."
"Are you comfortable with traveling for work?"
"Yes, I have a passport that's valid in every country on Earth."
"Are you going to have bounty hunters showing up at Kaiba Corp.?"
"No."
"Are you knowledgeable about Kaiba Corp. products?"
"Yes."
"Are you prone to sudden attacks of suicidal notions that you might show up with bombs strapped to you, intent on taking everyone out with you?"
"No."
"Are you a schizo?"
"No." Though my brother says I am...
"Have you escaped from the nuthouse?"
"No." Does the Thunder Nation count?
"Are you a good planner?"
"Yes."
"Do you work well under stress?"
"Yes." This is a very stressful interview...
"Are you good at working with others?" He laughed a little.
"Yes." What the hell is so funny?
"Can you delegate responsibilities?"
"Yes."
He huffed, "Last question."
Thank God!
"Finally, are you attracted to me in any way?"
She blinked and blinked again before she chuckled a little and snickering, laughing, and then she couldn't stop. The laughter bubbling up from deep inside her, taking all the stress and confusion from the interview with it and out of her mouth. He stared at her while she caught her breath. It hadn't been a funny question in his opinion and he'd had half a mind to tell her to get out, but he waited, being considerate of the barrage of questions she'd been asked. Maybe she cracked...
"Oh...please tell me you're joking."
"No... that was a real question. A no would have sufficed."
"Oh...No.. I wasn't laughing at you... I just thought that was the most insane question that you've asked so far."
"This would the part that I say I'll call you with results, but you're the only one with semi-intelligent answers so you're hired. You'll start work immediately at 10 tomorrow. Not a minute later."
He stood and she did as well with a slight smile offering a hand. "I look forward to working with you Mr. Kaiba."
He glanced at her hand and rounded the desk towards the door as she retracted her hand.
"For me," he corrected. "And we'll see how you feel when you start working..."He opened the door and she followed to the bubbly gum pink station.
"You're fired." He deadpanned and kept walking.
"What?! You can't fire me! I'm your secretary!"
"Not anymore, remove your things from Rasei's desk quickly."
"The hell I will!" She screamed tripping over the phone chord in her stilettos and landing at Kichi's feet.
"Security," she said softly as two slightly bigger men came to pick her up off the floor. "I'll make sure to send you your things."
She followed Kaiba's path towards the store room as he opened the door.
"This is all the work the former secretaries left for you..."
She looked up at he piling stacks of paper and shook her head, Dear Gods what have I agreed to?
"Oh, yeah. Here's your handbook...I'm dead serious about every single rule and regulation in there. You'll get your standard Kaiba Corp materials tomorrow if you show up. There's a 90 day grace period where you will be working on probation. After the 90 days are over you are granted your full secretarial rights according to the bi-laws of Kaiba corp. That is... if I haven't fired you yet."
He left her there staring in the abyss of work and she closed the heavy door carrying the thick manual to the elevator only to be met with the faces of her family.
"So...did you get the job?" Rei asked. Hikaru looking over her shoulder with bated breath.
"Does he usually give people that aren't hired Kaiba Corp. Hand books?"
Rei grabbed her hand to pull her to stand on the desk with megaphone. "ATTENTION! I COME BRINGING GREAT NEWS TO THE EMPLOYEES OF KAIBA CORP.! THIS IS KICHI!" She gestured as the workers turned. "WE HAVE ...A COMPETENT SECRETARY!"
The office was silent and loud with murmurs, "Could it be true? Really? She looks intelligent..."
This might not be so bad...
"HOORAY! BREAK OUT THE MUSIC!"
I take it back...
The office, except for Rei and Hikaru, went up in celebration in a flurry of celebration and noise and she snatched the megaphone from Rei. Clearing her throat and turning off the megaphone before gathering her breath and steeling her eyes.
"Turn off the music," she said softly. "And get back to work."
The music stopped and they obeyed. At least they listened, though they seemed to have a serious problem with what exactly their job descriptions were... She foresaw a lot of firings in the next few weeks.
"I thought you didn't start till tomorrow..."Hikaru said humorously from his seat, fiddling with the connectors for a computer.
"I don't but with these stocks...you have nothing to celebrate."
"But... a competent secretary..."
"My dear Rei in Customer Service...and dear brother with Technicians... you two have NOTHING to celebrate."
Rei whimpered and Hikaru laughed as she got off the desk and walked out of the building with her book in hand. She walked to her car and slid in, tossing the book in the passenger's seat, before revving her engine and heading home. When she arrived, she read the handbook she'd been given. It was a digital book that served not only as her handbook but all of her orientation material. She took notes on the weaknesses of the company, including that off the C.E.O.'s interview style. If that was how he conducted all of his interviews, she was sure that there would be far more firings than she first anticipated.
She drafted her restructuring plans and contingency plans, drafted models and took a breath for the third time since arriving home. When Hikaru and Rei arrived she was still in her office, adding to the growing model and file on Kaiba Corp and every current employee. Hikaru smiled as he and Rei had a silent toast to the woman that would make their insane job so much easier.
"I think she'll be goof for Kaiba."
Hikaru snorted, "If he gets his head together and she doesn't kill him or quit first."
"Here's hoping."
