Part. 2:

Fairy Tail has never been less lively. That was the only way to describe the eerie silence that loomed over the guild just three days after my funeral.

I sat there, at my usual barstool, which I also happened to notice no one got near, as I watched the place I used to laugh with all of my friends.

Why was I forced to watch this? Why was I still here?

However, the ones who were the most affected by my death were Gray, Erza, Wendy, Happy, and of course…Natsu.

It was Natsu, however, who hit me in the heart the most.

He didn't even show up at the guild for the first two days after my funeral, and he only returned to get a job that he just randomly ripped off of the request board, and left just as quickly as he was there, ignoring all the looks given to him.

I just wish…I just wished that I could find some way to talk to him.

That was impossible, though…it would simply never be.

I still couldn't remember how I died, but I did remember almost everything except that one day. That one day where I had to be taken from all of my friends, and the only place I ever felt truly at home.

Being dead was…weird. I didn't sleep, I didn't use the restroom, and I looked exactly the same no matter what I did, and I only knew that because on the day of my funeral I had gone into a fit of anger after Natsu left and had somehow managed to actually rip half of my hair out, but soon after it regrew, and even went back into it's original position and hairstyle.

I had gotten so frustrated that I broke down into tears, and cried my heart out for hours and hours.

I let a small sigh escape my lips, as I saw Erza staring at her strawberry cake like it was haunted. She didn't even blink, and Wendy, who was besides her, was still in the crying stage. Gray was sitting down two stools down from me staring at his drink, while Happy was crying silently with Mira.

I hated every bit of it.

I just wanted to shout out that I was here, watching over them, and that they should be happier…but even if I could, they wouldn't be happy…I was dead.

No one was even talking. The only people who were actually trying to say something were Erza and Master, but the first time Master tried talking to the guild to cheer up, he had broken down into tears and retired to his room, without even a glance.

Erza only tried to speak when she wasn't being solemn, but just a few sentences after speaking, she would give up, and go back to mind-numbing, pointless staring.

It was still Natsu who was the worst, and he was also the one who everyone tried the most to cheer up, but he didn't even acknowledge their existence.

A few times when he would walk in to grab another request, he would stand there, and just stare at my direction, the place that I always sat with that broken expression that I see every day now.

It hurts. It hurts so much!

Was I supposed to do something? I wasn't very sure, but I finally just concluded that I was still here because of something, right?

Another sigh came and left, and almost as soon as it did, Natsu suddenly barged in, from the third quest he completed today.

I watched as he rushed over to where the request board was, but this time, he scanned it.

He looked over them all carefully, as if studying every aspect when the entire guild and I all saw him stiffen.

He ripped one of the requests down and stared at in his hands for a few seconds, not even noticing all of us staring at him.

What was the request…?

Suddenly, he crumbled up the piece of paper and slammed it against the wall in a fury.

We all stared at him, shocked out of our minds, but it's what he did next that surprised us all. He had gotten down onto his knees and he started to sob, just like the other day at my funeral, but this time…he was sobbing in front of everybody.

He kneeled there as the guild watched him cry and cry, screaming my name, and soon enough, almost everybody in the entire guild was crying as well.

I guess seeing my best friend cry over his dead best friend does that to you.

It did it to me too.

The tears started to come down as I stood up and sprinted over to Natsu. I leaned down as well, so that I could stare at him face-to-face and I hugged him.

Of course, he didn't feel me or sense me at all, but I wanted to believe that he could.

I just wanted to believe

It was almost exactly like that day of my funeral….he just cried dry, broken sobs, muttering and screaming my name over and over again, while the just-moments-ago-silent guild was crying their eyes out as well.

As I held onto him, I reached out one of my hands and tried to read the request, and I was lucky because apparently Natsu sucks at crumpling up paper, because I could almost read the entire thing.

That's when I saw it and I understood why he suddenly broke down…

Why Natsu? Why did you have actually read the requests this time?

Those thoughts pounded in my head, as I stared at the request, with the broken Natsu in my arm. There, at the very top of the request, were probably some of the worst words to tell anybody in this guild right now, including me.

Celestial Mage Needed!

Preferences: Under 21, Pretty, and either a blonde or brunette.

Talents: Must be able to dance and must be able to dine formally.

I couldn't read any more, because almost right away, Natsu had somehow managed to grab a hold of it, and he burned it to ashes.

I looked down at him, and he seemed to have stopped crying as much, as he stood up, almost falling back over, and stood there, still for a moment.

I stood up too, and the thoughts of the request came back to me.

It was the perfect job for me…

I wiped my tears away, as Natsu still stood there. He was staring at the guild; or more like the crying guild.

I wondered what he was thinking.

Was he thinking about memories? Was he thinking about me? Was he thinking that the reason the guild is crying is because of me? What was he thinking?!

However, his expression gave no answers to my unspoken questions that lingered over and over again in my mind.

I reached for his hand, but he had suddenly taken a step forward. The guild looked up, when they noticed he was no longer crying. I could see all of their glistening tears that still remained on their cheeks, and some were still crying.

Natsu grimaced, and glanced over at my barstool with that broken expression once more.

I really hated that expression.

I looked up, as if there was an answer up there, and thought with all of my will.

Please… please… take away that expression. Take it away! I just want to see him happy! I want to see him laugh like he used to do with me all of the time. I want to see him get mad, sad, frustrated, and even sick!

I just want him to be him! I want him to not cry anymore, and I want him to live on….still remembering me, but not letting it weight down on him anymore... I want him to live.

More tears started to fall, as I noticed Natsu clench his fists, and storm over to my chair. I was frozen; I could not move at all. It was hitting me all over again…like a wrecking ball hitting my heart. That's what it felt like, and oh did it hurt.

It hurt so much that I wanted out. I just wanted to leave, so I wouldn't have to see those expressions anymore…

Was that selfish?

It probably was, but this pain…why does it exist? Why did I have to die so early, and leave nothing but heartbreak and happy memories behind me?

WHY?!

I looked back up, as the tears just continued to fall endlessly.

I thought of the guild, and what they've all done for me, and I thought of all of the people we've helped.

Such wonderful memories…such wonderful times of laughter, pain, sadness, worry, and happiness…even if it was so, so hard at times…I don't think….I don't think I've ever experienced something worse that what I was experiencing at this very moment.

It was like fire….cold, burning fire, that was hitting me with tiny needles with the force of that same wrecking ball that continues to pound and pound on my heart.

This pain...this pain should not exist in this world. The thought of knowing that you are dead. That you are gone, no longer living, removed from the world in which you lived in.

It was even worse, because I was still here. I was still on this miserable world, but as someone nonexistent. I was someone who was considered no longer living, an aspect which you cannot truly understand until you are dead yourself.

When I talk… I am not heard. When I laugh… there is no laughter that joins in. When I cry… there's nobody to comfort me and tell me that it'll get better. When I'm angry or even frustrated… where's that someone who'll be with me the whole way through?

Gone.

I don't exist anymore, yet I do… I exist only in their minds, and I exist as a roaming ghost who walks this world, forever alone.

Now, doesn't that sound so melodramatic?

I tried to think of happier things, but my mind was filled with pain. I glanced back down at Natsu who was now standing right in front of my chair, with an impassive expression on his face.

It was Erza who stood up and walked over to him. She put a hand on his shoulder, to show comfort, but he shrugged it away, flinching away from her touch. Erza withdrew, and sat back down, as a few tears slipped out.

I tried, and I mean tried really hard to stop the tears that wouldn't end, but even as I walked back towards where I had been sitting at in the first place, they just continued on.

Natsu had reached out, and he was now touching the very chair that seemed to be revered now in my one and always home, and I walked up to him and lightly did the same as Erza.

My hand rested on his shoulder for just a bit, until he stiffened ever so slightly.

I withdrew my hand, and I heard him let out a breath, that I think that he didn't even realize that he was holding.

What was that? Maybe he somehow felt me, or maybe he can see me!

I quickly entered his view range, but he gave no indication that he saw me.

The quick sliver of hope that I had just felt, disappeared as quickly as it did before.

I sighed loudly, and decided to sit down in my chair.

What was the point of even trying? They can't see me! They can't hear me! They can't even sense my presence! There was absolutely no point of trying… oh geez, here they come again.

Once again, the tears that I hadn't realized had stopped, started to make their way down my cheek and fall to the ground.

So there I was, sitting in my chair, invisible to everybody, as the guild either cried or watched Natsu stroke my chair in a daze.

I didn't even think he was all that aware that he was even doing it…

Suddenly, I felt him reach forward and do something completely strange. He was hugging me, and he buried his face in my neck.

I know that he couldn't see me or feel me, so what was going on?

I noticed the guild members all stiffen out of shock, as I already did.

What did this look like? It probably looked like a pink-haired, hopelessly lost boy, hugging air, which so happened to be me.

What was so strange about it though, was that he was hugging me perfectly. His head was exactly in the right place, and his hands held my hair.

It's almost like he could sense me, but… but that's impossible.

I had stopped crying, once more, and when I felt him bury himself further into my shoulder and neck, he whispered something that changed everything I thought.

"Lucy…there you are."


*Well this was depressing to write….geez, I felt like crying…and I'm the writer! I hoped you liked it, and sorry about leaving it in a cliffy! o.O

Please leave the thing called a review, and keep reading!

Well…now I'm going to go eat finally. ;) See ya!