I Know I flinched when I felt his warm lips against mine. This feeling is strange. This happy. Strange feeling. But when he slowly touched my hair and stroked my cheek I stayed still. As if.. If I move he'll stop. He'll change his mind. About this. About me. He'll realize what I am. His forehead presses against mine. As if to comfort me. I do not know if that is his intention, but I do feel calmer.

"Hiei, I will not harm you. I promise." His fingers trace against my lips. "Can I kiss you again." I don't know why my body stiffens but when It does he smiles softly. Kindly. Warmly. "I promise not to go to fast. I'm not asking for more than to kiss you." When I make no movement I feel his tongue trace my lips. It tickles. His thumb rubs against my bottom lip. This attention makes my body heat. That churning nervous queasy feeling returns. His arm wraps around my back and pulls me to him. His nose touches mine. His lips are millimeters from mine, and then even that space is removed.

The kiss is short. Simple. As if he is afraid to startle me. Right now, I do feel skittish. His lips kiss my cheek then my forehead. He smiles and lays down. I'm pulled on his chest.

"It's getting late." The heat radiating from his bare chest is relaxing. I'm comfortable. I close my eyes and instantly fall asleep.

I'm being touched. In ways I'm unfamiliar with. Fingers scissoring and thrusting. Lips moist and warm teasing my nipple. Teeth biting. Raspy voice whispering in my ear. Moaning. Feeling pleasure. Being stroked. Pleasure.

My eyes snap open. Strange enough for me to go to sleep so easily, but to have a dream that brings pleasure rather than pain. It's to unbelievable. I'm still on top of his chest. He's warm. And his heart beat is of normal pace. But, it makes my normally not beating heart pound fast. His fingers are rubbing into my back. It's soothing. I can tell the sun has not even risen yet, so I allow my eyes to close. And I drift back off.

Hands yank on my hair. Fists connect to my already swollen and battered face. I'm a child. "You're filthy. You disgusting imiko." A fist strikes my face again. My eyes threaten to water, but I force them down. Never show weakness. Hide it. No one will ever care about you. "You will always be a cursed child. You will never be good enough. You will never be liked. You will never be loved. You will always be the same unloved disgusting imiko." Laughter quiets and finally leaves and I'm left to lick my wounds in private.

"I just want to be loved." I wipe away tears as they turn to black gyms. "I just want to be loved." I'm quivering. But I can't stop this weakness. "Someone please. Please someone. Please love me. Please." There is no one around. My body shakes hard, but I'm not moving myself. I feel warmth press against my forehead and I open my eyes.

"Are you okay shorty?" His voice is sincere. Warm.

"It's nothing." I go to move from his chest. My wrist is grabbed. He holds tiny black jewels close to me.

"I may not be the smartest man, but I remember that Yukina's tears turn to gyms. It makes sense that yours would as well. Now tell me, what the dream was about."

"Nothing." His arms pull me to him. My head falls to his shoulder.

"I love you." I stiffen. I don't mean to. But I do. "I'm not going to ask, if you don't want me to, but I heard you. And I'll love you. I do love you." His lips connect to my forehead in a sincere manor. I'm scared. I've never been this scared before. "At least you didn't have all bad dreams." He chuckles to himself.

"How did you…"

"My mind connects to yours. I've always had a few problems keeping my mind out of others. It's really hard to control. I never had a problem with yours though, since you keep it locked tight, but when you sleep, not easy to control. Especially when I'm also asleep." My body aches. "It's okay shorty. Everyone will be waking soon. The weather has warmed somewhat. I doubt we will hang around for to long. The medical people in spirit world will be wanting those flowers." I keep my words quiet. Unsaid. He smiles softly at me. He moves me from his chest and grabs his pack. Finding clothes for the day. I don't look. I just curl into myself. Even my arms wrapped around myself doesn't warm me. I've never felt this kind of cold before. Something must be wrong with my internal organs or whatever the hell maintains my temperature. His arm presses into my back and leads me out. His meager body heat raises mine slightly.

Yukina hands the fox the flowers then pulls me aside. Her hand is placed on my forehead. "It's progressing faster than I thought it would."

"What do you mean?" My body feels weak.

"I told you, you're in heat. Defiantly in heat. It's going to keep getting worse, keep progressing until you have sex preferably with the object that has caused the heat to spur."

"I am not in heat." That's not possible.

"Are you having.." she pauses to gathering her thoughts. "Lewd dreams." My face is warm. Flushed even. "Hiei, it is completely normal, but you need to do something." She smiles softly. Sweetly. "If you have any questions, you can ask me." I nod as if I would actually ask her for advice or help then go back to my group. Toya nods to me. I think they can both tell how uncomfortable I am about all this.

Goodbys are said and our strange group heads out together. I don't speak. I try to remember what normal is so I can respond the correct way. Or the way that I am suppose to respond.

"You look exhausted." Kuwabara's voice is soft. I feel sluggish. The cold surrounding me isn't helping. Everyone is back to wearing their thick clothing. I half wish I had thicker clothing. My body temperature feels low. "You look cold." He pulls me up to him. He opens his top layer and puts me inside his jacket.

"What the fuck are you doing." I half struggle.

"You were slowing your pace. And you were flushed. Thought this would be easier. After all, you have almost no clothing on." I do feel warmer. My pride is half bruised, but It's comfortable to be like this. My eyes close for only a moment, but when I open them again, we are in spirit world. Handing off the flowers. A large hand is playing in my hair. The other keeps me pressed against a large frame. This warmth is relaxing.

"You're awake." I nod and remove myself from kuwabara. I instantly feel cold and weak again.

"How long was I out." He thinks briefly.

"About four hours. They were able to meet us at a closer destination." He removes his outermost layer and place it on me. "You still look cold are you okay." I hand it back to him. I am not in heat. Koenma says a few words, I pay little attention. My body is woozy. I ignore the weakness. We go back to the human world. The fox and detective go off together. Kuwabara invites me to stay at his place. I would normally refuse with a sarcastic quip, but I can't bring myself to be mean. I would like to, but I can't until I figure out how to fix my body.

"I have other things I need to do." He nods.

"Well, if you feel like stopping by, you know where I live." He goes to leave but then stops. "Hiei, don't stay away for so long, you can rely on me." I leave. To the park. The one closest to kuwabaras house. I try to rest in one of the trees, but nothing helps return my strength. It's cold. Winter time, but even so, it was much colder in the ice realm. And yet, I am growing colder by the second. I'm not use to feeling cold. I can barely keep my eyes open.