A/N: Alright, chapter 2 is finally up!! I wish to thank all the people who read, reviewed, and faved my story - even thou it was only an introdutory chapter where nothing really happened - Anyway cudos to you all!!

Peace out
Kawaii Hitsuji

Disclamier - I obvouisly do not own Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, and anything SquareEnix. Though, when I do embark on my world takeover, things could change :)

WARNINGS - This story does contain YAOI parings (boyxboy) and also MALE pregnancy (but not in the way you think) If these two themes DO NOT float your boat then PLEASE make good use of the back button, for that is why it exists.


Path to Remembrance

--- Spike ---

Spike knew something wasn't right. His backside felt cold and damp, not to mention he wanted to throw up again. But that wasn't what was causing the uneasy feeling he felt. Something was missing, or more like someone. Zack…?

He remembered being carried somewhere for some reason. Was Zack carrying him somewhere? And did he just drop him in a puddle!? No, it felt squishy. Was it mud? Why would Zack have dropped him in the mud and not pick him back up?

"I'll you find you, I promise."

That was Zack's voice. He was leaving him here in the mud he dropped him in. But…why? And what did he mean by 'I'll find you'?

"There they are!"

Wait, that wasn't Zack's voice. Did Shinra finally manage to catch up with them? But if that was true then why did Zack drop him in the mud and leave. He didn't want to be left alone, especially in the cold, wet mud, with Shinra close by. He desperately wanted to call out to Zack but for some strange reason he was unable to do so.

"Get back in the woods and find the Nymph!!"

Spike began to mentally sob. He was so dizzy, confused, and afraid that the only thoughts that kept plaguing his mind was that Zack had abandoned him, here in the mud. The soldiers were going to find and take him back to that god forsaken institution. He didn't want to go back to the institution, not after all that Zack had shown him.

God, he was a grown…man. Yeah, a grown man. He shouldn't be sobbing like this, even if it was all in his head. Zack was somewhere, he wouldn't have left him. He was somewhere and he was coming back. He had promised.

"You took what is mine."

Panic racked through him after hearing that voice, his whole body trembling with fear. It was him. It. Was. Him. Where was Zack? He needed Zack. His worst fear was becoming a reality, and Zack wasn't here to comfort and protect him. The only thing worse than being forced to return to the institution was being forced to be with his mate. And he had finally come for him. He had found them.

The dampness on his backside had suddenly left him. He was being carried again. No! He wouldn't go back to that life. Zack where are you!? There taking me back! Zack!?

"Hold him tightly Leon. His fever is very high and he probably can't comprehend what's going on."

Everything was spinning now. His mind could no longer grasp what little he knew of his surroundings. Words were being said, and he tried to listen to them, but they were being said too fast. Everything was too loud, too hot, too…he wanted Zack. He just wanted Zack. Everything would be alright with Zack.

Through the haze of his mind Spike managed to open his bleary eyes, and was presented with a scene he couldn't believe to be true. There Zack was, just standing within the hazy range of his vision, his mate's sword running through his chest.

Time seemed to slow down or completely stop. Whichever it was, he was sure he had forgotten how to move, to breath. He was hallucinating. He was dreaming. This wasn't happening. This wasn't real

He then saw his mate's sword begin its agonizingly slow with drawl from Zack's body. Once the sword had been completely removed Zack fell over, lifeless, to the dusty dirt road.


"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Spike screamed trying to get to Zack but was unable to do so. Something was holding him down. He thrashed about trying to get away, to get to Zack, until one of his thrashing limbs hit open air and he fell with a loud thud.

He just lay there, breathing heavily, in extreme shock from the fall. His heart was racing, his head hurt, and a cold sweat drenched his body. It wasn't until he started to come out of his dream like state that he noticed that he was shaking.

He slowly began to open his eyes to find that he was lying on a wooden floor, tangled up in a white sheet, and clad in nothing but his underwear. He rolled his tired eyes up to find a bed. A bed. He had fallen out of a bed.

Confused, he slowly began to push himself to his hands and knees, albeit shakily. A queasy feeling washed over him and he tried to will it away, though eventually sickness won out and he couldn't help but throw up from where he had fallen. Once he finished his daily vomiting, he cleaned his mouth with the corner of the sheet and leaned back on the heels of his feet in an effort to calm his nerves.

A dream, he thought, taking slow, deep, shaky breaths. It was nothing but a dream.

As he slowly managed to calm his nerves down, he decided he should at least try to get a look at his surroundings. He opened his eyes once again and began to scan the room he was in. It was very sparsely decorated, that was for sure. There was the bed, a nightstand sitting next to it with a vase full of brightly coloured yellow flowers upon it, a bath that was so small that it could only house a single sink and toilette, a full length mirror, and another nightstand for which, unlike the one by the bed, had a wash bowel, a couple of towels, and a pitcher of water placed neatly on it. The only light that the room offered happened to be from the narrow window that spanned the length room. Surprisingly, it was able to bring in a fair amount of sunlight.

Where was he? Cause if this was a hotel room then it was the smallest, not to mention oddest, hotel room Zack and him had ever been in. The bath didn't even have a shower and the bed was only big enough for one person. There wasn't even a dresser.

He grabbed the edge of the bed and pulled himself to his feet. Once he felt steady enough to walk he pushed himself away from the bed and staggered over to the room's only exit, mindful of his puddle of sickness. He still felt really weak, so as he reached the door he placed a hand on the wall next to it to keep himself upright.

After taking a small break from that five step walk, he opened the door and peered out into the hall. It was completely empty except for a lone chair placed across the hall from the room he was currently occupying.

He stepped out and softly closed the door behind him. He heard distant voices echo from down the hall and decided to make his way toward them, thinking that that was were the common room must be located with Zack having a little bit too much fun. He would have just gone back in the room, but after that frightening real dream he had, all he wanted was to see Zack and make sure that he was indeed alive.

With his hand placed against the wall for support he weakly made his way down the hall. He vaguely considered that he was in nothing but his…well Zack said these shorts, called boxers, where underwear for men, and that he should wear them. He tried for a little awhile but it felt weird. There was just too much space. So, just to make Zack happy, he wore these 'boxers' over his own preferred underwear thinking they were nothing more than a light pair of cotton shorts. He also disliked the fact that they had little chocobo's printed all over them, but since they were a gift from Zack he gladly wore them.

He turned a corner and spotted the slightly ajar door to the common room only a few steps away. Still keeping his hand against the wall he made his way slowly towards it. He prayed that Zack was there because he didn't think that he would be able to make it back to the room without some assistance. God, why am I so weak? It feels like I hadn't eaten in days.

He took another short break before pushing the squeaky door open and stepping through. All activity in the room, which really didn't look like a common room, ceased with every single pair of shocked eyes staring directly at him like he was some sort of deity that had dropped from the heavens to bring forth salvation.

He was about to break the awkward silence that permeated throughout the room due to his appearance, but someone beat him too it.

"OH! MY! GOD!!" a girl with short black hair squealed. She jumped out of her chair with her arms flung out wide, "CLOUD!!!"

He didn't have time to do anything. Before he knew it, the girl jumped him, warping her arms around him in a bone crushing hug. He could swear he stood there for about point two seconds, stunned, before he crumpled to the floor, unable to support the added weight from the girl. To make matters worse, he smacked the back of his head against the door frame resulting in some fancy stars floating across his vision.

Oh lord his head hurt, and the girl who jumped him wasn't helping by continuing to squeeze the life out of him. He was faintly aware of people shuffling around him, as he could see their faint, blurry figures, muttering things he couldn't quite make out since he was dizzy and in a hell of a lot of pain.

It seemed like hours before someone pried the girl on top of him off. He instantly rolled onto side in a vain attempt to regain his senses, amazingly it seemed to work. As he began to force his eyes open he came face to face with a pink figure asking him about…about fingers? Why was she asking him about fingers...wait she was holding them up…oh, she wanted to know how many. God, did he really hit his head that hard?

The pink figure, who slowly started to resemble a pretty looking girl, kept on pestering him about how many fingers she was holding up, so he decided to answer her despite the fact that he was most likely going to get the number wrong as his vision was still a little out of focus . "…four" he crocked out after giving her fingers a good hard look.

She smiled down at him before turning away and scolding the girl who jumped him. He heard a 'smack' then a 'What was that for?' followed by a 'After 13 years ya try to kill 'im. Fuck girl control ya'self'

As he tried to push himself to his hands and knees a gentle voice spoke to him accompanied by an equally gentle hand. "Take it easy. You've had very high fever these past few days and have become quite weak because of it. Your head should be fine through, though I would like to take a closer look at it once we get you back to your room."

He obeyed the voice's concern, ignoring everything else that was said about his health, and leaned up against the wall so that he could get a better view of his surroundings, not to mention the people around him. There was the black haired girl that had jumped him, smiling brightly at him, the girl in pink, a blond haired man smoking a cigarette, and that was it. No Zack. He swept his eyes across the group again thinking he must have missed him but Zack was no were to be seen. He brought a hand to head trying to clear his thoughts so that he could ask what he wanted to ask before he was jumped. "I-I'm looking for a friend of mine. He has black spiky hair and his name is Zack. Have you seen him?"

Silence was all the response he got.

He lifted his head and peered at the girl in pink who had turned her gaze to the floor, a sad look on her pretty face. He then moved his eyes over to the blond man who only scratched his nose looking away. Lastly he slid his eyes down to the black haired girl who was staring at him with a quivering lip and eyes filling up with tears.

She then jumped him, again, wailing, "I'm so sorry Cloudy! But there was nothing we could do!?"

He couldn't breathe again, but this time he was sure it was not caused by the girl. He just sat there staring straight ahead not really understanding what had been said to him. Well he was pretty sure he got it but maybe…just maybe he was wrong. "I don't understand. What do you mean by…by there was nothing you could do?" he managed to spit out.

The girl in pink finally looked up from the floor, eyes glossy from tears she refused to let fall, and gave him his answer. "He was killed while protecting us…protecting you. I'm so sorry Cloud."

His heart sank. Killed. He was killed protecting him. Him. No…

Many things began to race through his already aching head. He had to get out of here. He had to go…somewhere, but where? Zack was gone and he had always told him what to do and where to go. He didn't know anything outside the walls of the institution. He needed Zack. God, what was he going to do? I think I'm going be sick.

He violently pushed the black haired girl off him and scrambled back into the hallway on his hands and knees. The group followed yelling at him to calm down, that they were here to help him, and everything was going to be alright. He heard the name Cloud again and he finally snapped. "SHUT UP!! STOP calling me THAT!! My name is SPIKE not CL-CL…"

He couldn't get out the last part because his body shook too much from the pain, the frustration, the anger, the confusion. He vomited again that morning, but instead of turning away from the disgusting mess he stared down at it, ignoring everything around him.

It was in that moment that everything crashed down on him. He knew that he wasn't sick. Zack knew that he wasn't sick, but he never got the chance to confirm Zack's suspicion. Now Zack was gone. Zack, the only person besides the military and the institutions staff, knew what he was.

He never regretted the night they were both pissed drunk and did things that they really shouldn't have done. Not until now that is. What am I going to do? I can't go through this alone. Zack…

He suddenly felt extremely sleepy and he couldn't help but shut his eyes and let sleep take him. The last thing that reached his mind before falling into a deep slumber was the blond man swearing, 'Fuck Aerith, did ya think that was necessary?'


Aerith slowly walked down the hall towards Leon's cabin in extreme thought. She had just given Cloud a complete head to toe examination and discovered something quite unusual.

To say that it shocked her was an understatement. In fact she stood there staring at it for a good five minutes or more before she regained her thought process and continued on with her examination, which now included the area in question. As she probed the area further she discovered another hidden secret that she was sure Cloud didn't really know about yet.

She sighed. Telling Leon about Cloud's physical condition wasn't what she was worried about. He would be shocked, whether or not he would openly display it was debatable, but she knew he would understand and accept what Shinra had done to his childhood friend.

No, what she feared most was telling Leon that his best friend did not remember him. She wasn't sure how he would react since he guarded his emotions so well. Nobody ever had seen, let alone heard of, Leon displaying any kind of distress.

She knew that Cloud had gone through a lot while living with Shinra for 13 years and likely would be unwilling to talk about his time with them. But having no memory besides life with Shinra! She and surely everyone else hadn't even considered that a possibility when they had found him, until this morning's incident had occurred.

She had sensed something 'off' about him when he had found them in their little dinning-kitchen cabin but she chose to ignore it. He wasn't well after all. It wasn't until he completely broke down after hearing about Zack's death when that feeling she had sensed earlier was in fact right. To make matters worse she had this sinking feeling that Cloud's memory loss was more complicated than what she believed. He had yelled at them about calling him Cloud.

She shook her head. Leon was definitely not going to take this well.

Aerith was so distracted with her thoughts that she had almost completely walked by Leon's cabin. She stared at it for a moment or two before she approached it and hesitantly gave it a few soft knocks. A faint 'enter' was heard from the other side of the door and so she took a deep breath and turned the knob.

Leon was sitting at his desk with a silver lion headed pendent being examined in his hands. Cloud had given him that on his seventh birthday. Strangely, it was also the day that the two had met and became friends.

"How is he?" he asked putting the pendent safely around his neck. He always wore it, never taking it off for more than a few minutes. Until now it was the only thing he had to remember Cloud by.

She bit her lip. Being the bearer of bad news came with the job as Healer. It didn't necessarily mean she liked doing it. Besides she really shouldn't be doing this. Cloud wouldn't appreciate it but what was she to do? He was obviously not in his right mind. He doesn't even remember us, remember? a snide little voice echoed through her thoughts.

A period of silence ensued with Leon waiting patiently for her answer to his question. So she released her lip and straightened her back in hopes of regaining what confidence she had left about this being the right thing to do. Just spit it out. Keeping the inventible secret isn't going to do anyone good, especially Leon. "He's recovering well, even after Yuffie jumped him this morning."

Leon rose a questioningly eyebrow at that but she ignored it. Yuffie jumping Cloud wasn't what was important. "I did a complete examination on him after that to ensure that Yuffie hadn't injured him too badly and discovered something quite…unusual." She paused briefly while giving herself a good mental kick to the behind on what she was about to reveal. But this is Cloud we're talking about. Doctor-patient confidentiality does not apply here...I hope. "He…He no longer possess his male genitalia and reproductive system. It has been completely removed and replaced with that of a female's."

Both of Leon's eyebrows had risen now. He was shocked though Aerith had already predicted that. "So you're saying that he isn't Cloud but just some mutated person who was made to look like him?" There was a hint of bewilderment in his voice, like this was too unbelievable to be true, and if nobody knew Leon as well she did then they wouldn't have picked it up.

Aerith quickly shook her head, "No. He is our Cloud, he's just been altered. There is an extremely faint scar where his penis used to be but no others. His lack of other scars that should be there worries me. I-I don't believe his replacement organs and genitalia came from a donor. I think that they grew there themselves with the aid of whoever had done this to him.

Leon's gaze fell to his desk with his eyebrows scrunching down in thought. After a moment of silence he asked, "Can it be reversed? Will his manhood be able to be restored?"

Aerith was afraid he would ask that. Leon was a very predicable man when it came to conversation. "I-I don't know. The people involved in this were extremely skilled, and even if the procedure could be reversed we would have to wait for months before his body is ready for the change."

"What do you mean by 'before his body is ready'?"

"Well he's with child. I'm unsure of how far along he is but I'm guessing about six, maybe seven weeks."

Leon sat back in his chair staring at nothing in particular while he thought about what Aerith had just told him. Minutes passed before he spoke, eyes never leaving the spot they were currently focused on. "Is that all?"

Aerith wished that she could answer yes. Leon looked utterly devastated by the news of what Shinra had done his friend and prince. She walked over to him with a sadden look in her green eyes and placed a gentle, comforting hand on his shoulder. "He doesn't remember us."

Leon closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. A short time passed before Aerith noticed that he was griping the arm rest of his chair like a life line. He was angry. Angry, because Shinra had taken away the one person, besides his own family, he really cared about away. "Is it just memory loss or brainwash?" he growled out.

Everybody had heard the rumours about Shinra. They liked to kidnap children, particularly boys under the age of twelve, and turn them into soldiers who would fight for their cause until their last dying breath. They were just rumours; rumours that Leon didn't believe. Aerith herself didn't believe them either. She had thought that it was beyond all morals, even for Shinra.

Then Cloud returned. Apparently Shinra really was that evil.

"Brainwash I think," Aerith responded. "We won't know for sure until he awakens from the sleep spell I placed on him during this morning's incident."

Relaxing in his chair a bit he nodded his head. "Send for me when he awakes. I'm sure I don't need to remind you to keep this quite. The crew is in good spirits since hearing about his return. I don't want to take that away from them just yet." He looked to Aerith with hollow looking eyes, "I've already sent word to Sora and Roxas. It will be a couple more weeks before they return from their mission, so it will give us time to prepare what we wish to tell them about their brother."

"Ok," Aerith whispered. "I'll send for you when he awakes." She then gave him one of her gentle smiles and quietly left his cabin without another glance back. Leon needed his solitude right now and she wouldn't be the one to disturb it.