Chapter 1/part 1

Being a video game character, my life didn't begin with birth. I had no mother or father, no babyhood, or childhood. I came into existence fully grown and fully dressed, and instead of being welcomed into the arms of family and friends, when I took my first breath, hypothetically speaking, I was accosted by three very unhappy-looking strangers.

One was a short, alien-type creature with big, pointed ears and a huge nose right smack in the middle of his face. He was clad in a red jumpsuit and space helmet from which protruded an antennae-type appendage which glowed iridescently. Behind him trailed a mob of tiny weed-like creatures, flowers or leafs extending from their stout bodies.

The other stranger looked scarcely more realistic. He was a man who would appear at least partially normal if he weren't wearing such an insane uniform. His six-pack abs bulged against a dark red bodysuit which clashed very affectively with his purple pilot helmet, curiously engraved with a golden falcon. As if this bizarre fashion statement wasn't enough, he sported all the accessories—a yellow scarf, some golfing gloves, and a tool belt, all finalized by metal knee, shin, and shoulder pads. He looked somewhat like a pilot/clown/unicyclist about to put on a show.

The last was surprisingly normal compared to the previous two. Sure, a wolf standing on two legs, wearing cobalt space gear and an eyepiece is certain to attract some attention, but compared to space midget and six-pack weirdo, the wolf didn't seem as disturbing.

For a moment, I wondered why we all were standing out here, unmoving and silent, when suddenly a loud, emphatic voice boomed into the arena, making me jump.

"Three!"

What the heck?—I screamed in my head, but just then the announcer's unhealthily deep voice seethed over the small expanse once again, rumbling through the ground, making it quake in reply.

"Two!" it bellowed, and I glanced at the others who stood near, knitting my brows and inquiring the unvoiced question, but they made no reply, as if all this idiocy was a part of normal, every-day business.

"Really?" I murmured, though my voice was barely audible. "Am I on candid camera?" The only answer supplied was from the announcer, shouting once again, most vehemently.

"One!"

Suddenly the others turned to face each other, a lustful and bloodthirsty gleam swimming in their pupils. The wolf cracked his neck, the clown/cyclist tightened his fists, and the space guy leaped into a guard stance.

My eyes widened in understanding. We're here to fight! Abruptly, a feeling of dizziness crept over my mind, congesting it with panic.

"GO!" cried the announcer, almost eagerly, as if anticipating my demise. Immediately, the clown dude leaped into the air, his fist flaming with a yellow heat, his white, triangular eyes bursting with malice.

As he plummeted down at me, I only had time to think, "Darn…" before my knees went slack, and I fainted.

...

(Expect short updates) (Sorry)