Chapter Two
Suffering
Gohan wasn't surprised when he felt the presence of his mentor arrive at the hospital only moments after Gohan had received the news on his wife and child.
Piccolo had always been there for the half Saiyan when he was a boy and the Namekian had continued to stand beside Gohan through all battles and conflicts that occurred. To be honest with himself, Gohan had started looking up at the Namek as a father when he was but a child and he knew that Piccolo looked down at him like a son.
So when Gohan had found out that Videl and his Daughter wouldn't be with him anymore, Gohan expected for his father figure to appear by his side. The raven haired man suspected it was because his mentor felt the tumultuous feelings from their bond.
The fact that Gohan's power level was climbing rapidly could've also helped key in that something was wrong.
"Gohan!" Piccolo yelled as he ran into the waiting room where Gohan sat, his aura radiating around him and the doctor that had informed him of his wife knocked out against the wall off to the side. All of the other waiting families were cowering away from Gohan or had ran out of the room entirely. "Gohan what happened?" Piccolo asked as he came to stand in front of his student, using a hand to block the wind that was flying around the room.
The Namekian had felt the horror and worry from his student and had taken off immediately to where he felt Gohan was, moving across the planet as quickly as possible. When Gohan's power level began to rise suddenly and quickly, Piccolo began to panic and worry even more, his speed had increased as Gohan's power had increased.
Now that Piccolo stood in front of his student, he needed to know what had happened to cause this and then he'd be able to calm his student down, but only once he knew because calming Gohan down and then asking him what had happened would lead to having to calm the kid down again. That wasn't something that Piccolo wanted to do, not since he had to do that once before and it hadn't been pretty. He'd lost an arm and a leg from that confrontation.
Gohan was silent for several moments, to the point where Piccolo was actually considering asking again, but then Gohan spoke. "They're gone." He whispered but Piccolo heard the man even over the wind that the other was creating.
"Who Gohan, whose gone?" Piccolo asked as he took two steps so he stood directly in front of Gohan and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Who is gone Gohan?"
Gohan's hair flared into a sharp gold before switching back to black, but the power radiating quickly told that he had entered Mystic Mode. Piccolo fought not to be thrown from the fast power raise and was able to hold his ground, but barely. "Can't you feel it Piccolo, her Ki is no longer here. Neither of them are." Gohan informed his mentor.
Piccolo frowned deeply before closing his eyes and sensing out towards every single one of the Z Fighters and friends. He could feel everyone, even that buffoon Satan…Piccolo's eyes snapped open and he stared down at the hunched over figure of his once student. "What happened to her Gohan?"
Gohan's fist tightened, the only one that seemed to want to work at that moment while the other just hung against his leg, unable to move due to the damage done to it. "We were on our way to an appointment." Gohan stated. "It came out of nowhere, just rammed into us."
Piccolo's frown got deeper and his hand tightened against Gohan's shoulder comfortingly. "Another one of those contraptions hit you, didn't it Gohan?" Piccolo asked, his mind running back to that one time he had taken driving lessons with Goku to appease Gohan's mother.
Gohan growled at the mention of a vehicle, even if Piccolo didn't know which one. "It hit us and flipped us. My arm was skewered like a shish-kabob." Gohan chuckled darkly at that, not noticing how Piccolo looked towards the useless arm. "Videl saw that and went into shock and that forced her into labor. She didn't survive and neither did my child." His voice had gone dead near the end and his power level began to die off as well.
Piccolo's eyes widened for a split second before he did something he hardly ever did, even when Gohan was a child.
He pulled Gohan onto his feet and into his arms where Piccolo hid the shorter male with his cape and hugged him.
Gohan didn't need to know what had happened, only that his mentor was hiding him from the world and giving what comfort he could, no matter how little it was.
So Gohan did the only thing he could in a situation like the one that he had been thrown into.
He cried.
He never even noticed, one by one, that all of his friends and family showed up to find out what had caused Gohan to spike his power and then for it to die to almost nothing.
Soon everyone, even Vegeta, could only stare and mourn with the man that had been through so much and had in the end only lost even more than before.
SecondChance
It was raining heavily and Gohan felt that it matched the way he felt, especially when the lighting crackled off somewhere. The feeling of emptiness and sadness consumed Gohan as he stared down at the headstone in front of him.
It was the final resting place for Videl and their daughter, Pan. Gohan choked back a sob at the thought of his beautiful little girl that he had been able to hold before she had to be prepared for burial. Gohan had her put into a little pink onesie that Videl had bought. It had little hearts and flowers embroidered on the front. It was a cute thing that Gohan thought she should be buried in.
There was only one headstone, which had been a big conflict between Gohan and Hercule as the World Champ wanted two headstones for each, for the two girls in Gohan's life. Gohan had decided that not only would there be only one headstone, there would only be one coffin as well, another conflict that had caused Gohan to blast his father-in-law in the face due to his anger.
The half Saiyan had decided that his wife and daughter would be together in death and so Gohan had made sure that little Pan was held in her mother's arms while Videl was laid carefully in the coffin in her favorite white summer dress and her hair splayed on the pillow. The two looked perfect together and Gohan had bawled over the picture they made once he had checked to make sure they were as he wanted.
Now the two would be together as they had been the last seven months, the main reason Gohan had decided they would share a headstone and a coffin. He didn't want his daughter to have a little coffin as her own, imagining that it would be too cold alone, even with the body heat a passed loved one lacked. He just didn't want his baby girl to be alone when buried and Gohan was sure that Videl would want the same.
Now though, looking at the headstone, Gohan wished that he was there with them too. He didn't want to be standing here in front of the grave of the two girls that had made his life so happy, especially Videl.
Tears spilled over Gohan's eyes and down his cheeks, mixing in with the rain that poured down on him. "Gohan…" the half Saiyan didn't react, ignoring the call of his mother. "Gohan, come home with me and your father tonight. You can stay with us until you can get back on your feet." Chichi suggested as she touched her son's shoulder gently.
Gohan shrugged the touch off. "No mother, I think I'll stay here a while longer. Go on home with Goten and Father." Gohan spoke softly, still not turning to look at the woman that had raised him.
Chichi watched her son worriedly for a while before nodding her head. "Alright, but you know you have a place with us if you need it." She said as she turned to her husband and shook her head at the expectant look he gave her. Goku frowned but nodded his head before taking her hand.
Goten looked back at his older brother for a long moment before turning to his father sadly. "Will Gohan be okay?" Goten asked Goku before they Instant Transmission home.
Goku looked back at his eldest son, who didn't even flinched at the bang of the thunder and lightning like he did as a child. "I have no idea Goten." Goku said sadly. "All we can do is be there for him when he needs us." With that Goku disappeared with the two other Sons back home.
Gohan didn't move an inch, even when he knew that he was almost entirely alone. "What am I going to do now Piccolo?" Gohan asked after what seemed like forever standing in front of the grave. "How am I supposed to keep going?"
Piccolo looked down at the grave as he came to stand next to his once student and friend. "I have no idea Gohan." Piccolo answered honestly, knowing exactly what impact Videl had on the boy when she had first entered his life. "Know that I am still here for you though, I'm not going anywhere." Piccolo stated as he laid a hand on the raven haired man's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Gohan nodded his head in both thanks and understanding.
Several days passed and still Gohan and Piccolo stood in front of the grave covered in bright colorful flowers that were beginning to wilt.
SecondChance
"Oh, I'm so worried about Gohan." Chichi stated as she stood at the sink doing the dishes, Goku stood next to her drying them. "He hasn't been himself since the accident and he hasn't left the house either."
Goku nodded his head sadly as he sat another cleaned and dried dish to the side to be put up once all of them were done. "I know Chi, but he lost his wife and his daughter, I can't even imagine how he feels." Goku said honestly as he looked at the plate that he held. "He's not just going to get over it like that Chichi, he needs time."
Chichi scowled as she too stared at the plate in her hands. "It's been six months though Goku! He hasn't left the house and from what Goten has told me he sleeps in the nursery!" She clenched the plate in her hand and cracks began appearing from the grip she held. "It isn't healthy Goku, he has to get out and see at least some of his friends and family. He'll never move on if he doesn't talk about it." She exclaimed as tears began to fall down her face.
Goku quickly put his plate down and removed the one Chichi gripped before pulling her into his arms. "Chichi don't cry, it'll be alright." Goku soothed as he ran a hand up and down her back while the other cradled her head to his chest. "Why don't we go see him later, just to see how he's doing?" Goku said after Chichi had calmed down some.
Chichi looked up at her bright husband with a small smile and nodded. "That's a great idea Goku, I'll even make him some food to eat as well." Chichi decided and quickly left the dishes to do just that while Goku watched her go.
The full blooded Saiyan sighed as he turned back to the sink, looking out the window that was above and out towards the forest. "I hope this works out alright." Goku spoke aloud before returning and beginning to finish what little of the dishes were left.
SecondChance
Gohan and Videl had originally bought a house in Satan City to be closer to Hercule, who had never been separated from his daughter for very long, especially after the afro haired man had lost his wife in an accident.
Gohan had kept the house and everything in it after Videl had passed, not having the heart nor strength to get rid of anything that had a connection to his wife or daughter.
The house was a simple two story blue house with wide bay windows looking out onto the street and high ceilings. It had seven rooms and four bathrooms, along with a wide backyard perfect for sparing matches for when Gohan and Videl had visitors over. The house was made to be bright and cheery, a home where children could grow up and be happy and safe. Where gloom would never reach the family and only sunshine and happiness would ever grow.
The sun couldn't reach into the house now, the curtains closed to keep it out, and there was no happiness about the building anymore. That had all left six months ago when his wife had disappeared. His yard had gone into disarray and was no longer an acceptable sparring area and the house was dirty, excepting the nursery and master bedroom, which was kept clean because Gohan knew Videl would've had a fit if either room even had a spec of dirt in them.
Though Gohan stayed at his house all the time now, having quit his job at the college after his wife and daughter had died, he wasn't alone. Piccolo had taken to floating outside in the backyard to keep a close eye on his pupil. The Namekian knew that this had been hard on his student and adopted son so he stayed close by just in case Gohan did something that he could later regret.
Piccolo sat in his lotus position, floating in the air and meditating as usual, when he heard the sound of knocking on the front door. Piccolo frowned as he realized that he hadn't heard footsteps approaching. 'Goku and that woman.' Piccolo thought as he picked up the ki signatures. 'What are they doing here?'
Gohan had answered the door when there was a knock and he too was wondering why his parents were there. In the six months that Videl had died, only three people had really come to see him more than just once. Those people were Goten, Piccolo, and Hercule Satan. Vegeta and his family had visited only once and had never come back. Now his parents had come and Gohan was surprised that they had even bothered to bring something with them.
"Hello Gohan, how are you doing?" Chichi asked as she stared at her oldest in concern. Her baby had lost a lot of weight, skeletal and lacked the once bulging muscles he had worked hard for. His clothes hung off of his frame and his skin was almost translucent with how pale he was, dark bags underneath his eyes from sleepless nights, and his hair was drooping with grease from lack of showering.
The worst part of Chichi's eldest was his eyes. Once so warm and loving and full of life. Now they were dead and hollow, not a spark of life in the dark onyx eyes.
Gohan tilted his head to the side as he stared at his mother, before looking at his father, ignoring or not hearing the question posed to him.
Goku was standing to the side, fidgeting. Goku knew that something was not right with his son. The knowledge wasn't something that Goku knew intellectually but instinctively. With the way Gohan looked and the way he hadn't responded to his mother's questions, Goku felt that something truly was not right. 'I'll have to go and talk to Vegeta after this.' Goku thought as he made sure that he stayed close to Chichi at all times as she bullied her way into the house, pushing Gohan to sit down in one of the dusty chairs.
"Oh Gohan, this place is a mess, covered in dust and grim as it is." Chichi said as she looked around the kitchen, the lights having been turned on as she entered. Everything was coated in multiple layers of dust and the floor had wadded up and torn pieces of paper. Goku glimpsed faces on the paper and knew they were pictures that had once been hanging up on the walls. The sink was empty but caked with calcium buildup and the faucet was dripping water. "We'll have to clean up this place but first, let's get you something to eat." Chichi said as she went about and grabbed plates and cups from the cupboards.
Goku followed her all over the kitchen, not leaving her side, not that Chichi seemed to notice, while Gohan just stared at the table in front of him, ignoring his parents with little effort. Food was quickly heated up and settled in front of the oldest Son boy with Chichi and Goku sitting at the table soon afterwards.
Gohan made no move to eat.
Goku made no move to eat.
Chichi was the only one eating anything. "Well, isn't this nice, just like when you were a child Gohan. The three of us eating together and talking." Chichi laughed lightly after dabbing at her face once she had finished eating. "Oh such good memories." She sighed as she held her hands together in front of her.
Gohan looked up at glared at her as his fists clenched against his thighs. "I don't know if they were good memories, after all, father continually disappeared to train all the time." Gohan spat out, turning to glare at his father.
Goku kept a stern look on his face as he looked back, shivering at the pure hate in those eyes. "Gohan, why don't you relax a little? Your mother and I will clean up." Goku finally said as he softened the look on his face and held his hands up in a peaceful gesture.
Gohan's smile was anything but warm or nice. "You mean like you did when I was a child? Is mother going to send me to my room to study, to do nothing but study?!" Gohan growled the last part as a snarl reappeared on his face and he stood up from his seat, knocking the chair to the ground.
Goku was up and out of his own seat in a second, grabbing Chichi and hiding her behind his own body. "Gohan, calm down." Goku said as he felt his son's ki raising erratically and dangerously fast.
"I don't think I will." Gohan snarled as he seemed to move towards the couple, only to be stopped as two green arms wrapped around him.
"Get out." Piccolo ordered as he held onto the struggling Gohan easily, even as he entered super Saiyan. The boy had been starving himself and was weakened due to it, so it was no challenge for Piccolo to hold on to him even in an ascended state.
"But he's my son, we have to help him." Chichi said as she looked around Goku to stare at Gohan with worry.
"There's nothing you can do for him." Piccolo stated bluntly as wind began to whip around him and Gohan from the sudden power rise. "You'll only make it worse, now get out!" Piccolo shouted.
Goku nodded his head as he pulled Chichi against him and put two fingers to his forehead. "Keep him safe Piccolo." Only once did Piccolo nod did Goku disappear with his wife.
It wasn't their house they had gone to though.
SC
"Capsule Corp?" Chichi said as she stared at the familiar domed building in front of her. "Why are we here? Why aren't we at our son's helping him right now?" She asked furiously as tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.
"Because we can't help him." Goku stated with sorrowful eyes. "We don't even know what's wrong with him to even help him. Let Piccolo handle him for now, he knows how to do that the best." Goku explained gently to his wife.
"Why are we at Capsule Corps.?" Chichi asked again as tears finally did flow down her face. She was saddened that she couldn't help her son and saddened by the situation.
Goku sighed as he ran a hand through his hair before looking his wife straight in the eyes. "I have a feeling that this has something to do with Gohan's Saiyan side." Goku explained.
"His Saiyan side?" Chichi asked as her brows furrowed and her tears stopped. "Are you saying that Gohan's behavior has something to do with the Saiyan in him?"
Goku nodded his head. "I do, that's why we're here. I want to speak with Vegeta about this and find out what he thinks. He's been to see Gohan so he might know more about this."
Chichi bit her lip before nodding her head. "Alright, I'll go and see how Bulma is and see if Goten is here." Chichi said as she headed for the Capsule Corp entrance where Bulma greeted her happily.
Goku stayed where he was until the door closed firmly behind the two women. "You felt what happened, right?" Goku asked to seemingly thin air.
"I did." Vegeta said as he jumped from his perch up on the roof. "He is going out of control."
"You know what's going on, don't you?" Goku asked with a stern look at the Saiyan Prince.
Vegeta nodded his head solemnly. "There is nothing you can do for the brat." Vegeta stated with his arms crossed over his chest. "I would suggest you go nowhere near him until he has ended it."
Goku's eyes widened at that as he stared at Vegeta in horror and disbelief. "Until he ends it? What are you talking about Vegeta, what is wrong with my son?" Goku demanded.
Vegeta's eyes narrowed as he watched Goku's hands clench into fists, as if the younger Saiyan would attack if he did not get the information he needed. "Haven't you noticed Kakarot? Out of all of our brats, which one acts more like a Saiyan?" Vegeta questioned.
Goku blinked in surprise at this, not having expected a question liked that. "What does that have to do with this?"
"Everything you fool!" Vegeta boomed, causing the younger Saiyan to stumble backwards in surprise. "Out of all of ours spawn, your eldest has shown signs of a true Saiyan, even when he was just a child." The Prince explained. "It could be due to the fact that he experienced the Oozaru transformation or just because the Saiyan blood is strong within him."
Goku gulped as he listened to Vegeta, knowing that whatever the Prince was getting at, it would be important to what was happening to his son.
"He has flown into rages when in battles, have you noticed?" Vegeta asked and once he got a nod from Goku he continued. "That is a trait most Saiyans shared when there were more of us. The more rages one flew into as a child the stronger they would be when fully grown and your Spawn has shown that he is powerful, could be more powerful than even us if he had continued training." Vegeta growled at the end. "The sudden power leaps as well that he had. No child should've had such a leap in power, not even my own is having them, not even your youngest. Your oldest though has shown it."
Goku nodded his head at this as he remembered all the times that Gohan had fought in the past. The boy had injured Raditz when he was four, held out against Nappa when he was five, took on the Ginyu force and Freiza when he was five, the Androids when he was ten, and Cell when he was Eleven. The boy indeed made incredible jumps in powers when he was young, not even Goten and Trunks had made those leaps and those two were the youngest Super Saiyans as well.
"Your eldest brat has shown the most Saiyan in him than any of our children, he has inherited several of the Saiyan instincts and habits, has gain the powers of the Saiyans and senses that we have." Vegeta stated as he waved his hand between Goku and himself as the two full blooded Saiyans. "But because of that, he has gain several of the drawbacks that Saiyans have as well."
"Drawbacks? I haven't experienced anything wrong at all. What could Gohan be going through that I'm not?" Goku asked as he looked at the Prince with a tilted head in confusion and worry.
Vegeta snorted as he shook his head. "You lost all of your memories as a baby Kakarot, so I'm not surprised you don't remember. When did you meet the woman and claim her as your own?" Vegeta questioned.
"Uh, you mean when did I marry Chichi, um well, I married her when I was nineteen." Goku stated in confusion. "What does that have to do with these drawbacks?"
Vegeta nodded his head at Goku's answer as he answered the clown's question. "When a Saiyan does not mate by the time he is twenty, he experiences pains beyond imagine, mostly from one's tail or chest." Vegeta explained. "They come once a month until we do find a mate, these pains tell us that we must find a mate and have offspring. One may call it as going into heat."
Goku blinked as he took the information in. "Gohan didn't marry Videl until he was twenty one." Goku stated as he realized why his son had spent one to three days stuck in bed every month until he had married Videl.
"Yes, the boy had come to me to ask about it, as he knew that it wasn't his human side affecting him." Vegeta explained. "It was then that I realized he was truly a Saiyan offspring when he went into his first heat after his twentieth year. I explained to him what to expect if anything else came to affect him later in life."
"What would that be? What are the exact drawbacks?" Goku asked as he realized that he really didn't know anything about being a Saiyan.
Vegeta sighed as he continued. "Once a Saiyan has claimed a mate, whether they be male or female, they are mated for life. For you and I, we will only ever have the women we claimed. The same is said for your eldest Spawn. He will never mate again in his life."
"Okay so he won't be able to marry anymore, but why is he like this? Why is he starving himself and fighting me and Chichi like he is?"
"Simple, he wants to die."
"….He…He what?" Goku stuttered as he stared at the serious looking Vegeta.
"He has lost his mate, there is no point for him to live any longer, not without his mate. The situation is made even worse as he has lost his child too. If the child had lived, then maybe he would have fought to live." Vegeta explained. "This is what we called the Listless Spirit, one who Wishes to die when one has lost everything."
"Is there any way to get him out of it?" Goku asked desperately.
"There is nothing we can do. The Saiyans on Planet Vegeta that had lost their mates would ask for suicide missions and go to fight to their death. Many would starve themselves and wither away, others would just end it themselves. There is nothing one can do to save one from the Listless Spirit." Vegeta explained.
Goku shook his head in disbelief. His eldest son, his baby boy, would die because of his Saiyan side, because he couldn't live without his mate. "There's nothing we can do?" Goku croaked out.
Vegeta shook his head. "Nothing. It was his death sentence as soon as the woman died with his child." The prince then stared at Goku with a piercing look. "I would also suggest staying away from him from now on as well until he has died."
"What! Why would I do that! He needs me Vegeta! He needs my help! He needs me to be there for him!" Goku exclaimed as he spread his arms out wide, as if to make his point.
Vegeta snarled. "I know you visited him today! Didn't you notice how on edge you were Kakarot?! How cautious you felt being around the boy!?"
Goku reared back as he remembered the feeling of being on edge, about how he would remain ready just in case Gohan did something dangerous towards Chichi or himself.
"The boy will try and elicit an attack out of anyone who caused him pain during his life! Anyone who hurt him, emotional, mental, or physical, will bear his wrath and try and force us to destroy him to protect our own!" Vegeta raged. "He attacked Bulma and Trunks when we went to see him! He tried to get me to kill him! If that Namekian hadn't of stepped in I would have finished him!"
Goku stood there stunned, as if he had been slapped. "But I haven't harmed him…Chichi hasn't harmed him…"
Vegeta snorted at that as he calmed down, running his hands through his hair. "Abandoning him after the Cell games, leaving him to take care of a pregnant woman, to raise your second spawn, that isn't harming him at all." Vegeta spat as he glared at Goku. "The woman forcing him to study instead of playing with his little brother, forcing him to study instead of interacting with those his age, forcing him to study when he could instead be training with the one he sees as mentor and father, that isn't harming him?"
Goku gulped as he realized what Vegeta was saying. "We didn't mean to."
"No one truly means it when they are still doing it." Vegeta returned. "Even I have harmed the child at one point. I practically helped kill his friends and the Namekian, harm his father, and then proceeded to hurt him. Even I can realize when I am at fault Kakarot, I do not make excuses." With that Vegeta turned away from the younger Saiyan with one parting piece of advice. "Stay away from him Kakarot or you will just end up killing him faster."
SC
A.N. So, what do you think? Did I explain it well enough? I thought I did and you know the next chapter isn't going to be pretty either. Just warning you. So yeah, that stab at Goku, I've never really liked Goku or Chichi as they're really crappy parents in my opinion but hey, that's just me. Anyway, review and tell me what you thought! I love reviews!
Also in this fic, Gohan and Videl didn't get pregnant with Pan until Gohan was Twenty four, putting Goten at age thirteen, K. Yep, just thought I'd tell you that!
