Author's Note: So apparently my Raphael muse took complete control of me as I wrote these entries. Please be forewarned that there are several instances of mild profanity and brief discussions concerning sex, alcohol, and religion. Honestly, it sounds worse than it is! There is no drunken, heretical sexual activity or anything of the sort. Everything is still mild enough to be rated a rather low "T." I just wanted to get that out there to warn those who may be sensitive to the mention of such things.

There is still much more sap in this story than Raphael would probably like to admit. :) So please read and let me know what you think of it.

-Starry


August 26th

Looks like I can't leave that kid alone for too long. She gets herself in some serious trouble. I ain't gonna go into it, but me and her got separated from the group and narrowly escaped getting turned into one of Agent Bishop's science projects. In the process of the rescue, I was temporarily turned into a human.

I realized something over those two or three hours that I was one of them. Humans are… pretty weak. They're flimsy. They hurt so much more easier than we do, both physically and emotionally. How these animals made it to the top of the food chain, I'll never know. But ya know what? I'd be a liar if I said I don't miss it.

Yeah, I was in pain. Yeah, I got tired real quick. Yeah, I couldn't even rip a door off a damn locker. But somehow… I never really felt alive until I was a human.

I guess… I guess it's because they know, you know? They know that they can't really hold their own in this world. They know that they're gonna have to give it up to the next big, powerful step in evolution, whenever that might be. They know how quick everything they worked for is gonna be taken away from them. And knowing all that makes them want to… want to just live.

I felt things when I was a human, things that I had always thought were just signs of weakness. But then I saw that… that they was something else. They were signs of really being alive. Everything, from hurting my back after landing on the floor without a shell to feeling Allison's fingertips on my skin after it lost its roughness—all of this made me know that I was missing something.

So what right did she have when she thought that she was missing something, too? Like I told her afterwards, she gets to go out and enjoy her life the way her species wants to. Me? My species hides under its shell, and my family hides in the shadows. Turtles were meant to hide, but that ain't the way I wanna live. I've done that for a long time, and I'm tired of it.

I didn't need to tell her, though. She knew. Even without me getting all emotional on her, she knew what was going through my head. It ain't every day that I can say that about a person.

I didn't want to hide from her. But I had to back away the first time, you know? I had to let her know that I did think this out. If she… if she was really willing to let someone like me into her life—something like me into her life—then it had to be because she really wanted it, and she had to be willing to take a lot of risks for it. Because let's face it; we both knew that becoming more than just friends was gonna involve a heck of a lot of risks.

After saying all of that, I waited for her answer. And her answer was to try it again. And this time, I didn't stop her. I let her kiss me. And wow… I had a really small taste of being human again. But it was good enough. Just for that little while, it was good enough.

And then the others came in. And I couldn't let them know. I mean, it's not like they'd understand, you know? Mikey, Don, heck even Casey and April have been teasing me about it almost nonstop since October. Leo and Splinter look for every opportunity to lecture me about it. But they don't really know what "it" is. This ain't about a stupid crush or nothing. This is about feeling something that I can't explain. This is about feeling something that I never knew I could feel.

But hey, now I felt it, and it's over. I'm back in New York, and she's still in California. Her movie's more important than me. She tried to disagree but I told her that, if she really cared enough, she can find some way to head back to NYC and prove me wrong. And seeing that like a challenge, she smirked at me and told me that she couldn't wait to prove me wrong.

Now I'm waiting. Just like I said I'd never wait for a letter, I'm waiting for her. And I was right. The waiting hurts.


August 30th

Her movie comes out tomorrow. And I haven't heard nothing of her. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I dreamed it. Dreamed being human, dreamed the kiss, dreamed of even spending that week in LA. Paranoid, maybe, but a healthy dose of paranoia is what's kept me alive this long.

I'm tired of twiddling my thumbs and waiting. Screw this pen; I'm gonna go lift some weights.


August 31st

And once again, everyone conspired against me. Well, just Allison. And Mikey. But this time, I'll let it slide. Because she's back. And I'm happy. And it's taking everything I got in me to keep from grinning while I watch her nap on the couch in the lair. She's staying with us for just a little while, until she gets things finalized with her new apartment.

Happy as I am, I swear—if Mikey don't stop bouncing around like that because we've got a girl spending some time with us, I'm gonna have to do something painful to him.


September 1st

I thought I was just about scheduled for another one of those stupid heart-to-hearts. Honest, you'd think Leo was like some master player, the way he's giving out all this "relationship advice." When I asked him how he thinks he knows so much about girls, he got real quiet. I would've started thinking something if he didn't admit that he didn't; he just knows about mutant turtles and is running with that knowledge.

Even though he told me that he couldn't do nothing for me, it still seems like he's trying to do a heck of a lot. Thanks for the input, big brother, but I knew that this was a "foolish, impulsive, unnecessary risk." And I did it anyway. Because I like Allison. Is everybody happy now? I admitted it in plain English: I like Allison. I like being with her, I like holding her, and yeah, I like kissing her. And I'll be damned if I didn't see Leo shift uncomfortably when I mentioned kissing her.

I never use words like "girlfriend" or "relationship" or even "dating." Let's face it; the word "girlfriend" is stupid. Yeah, she's a girl and she's my friend; it's been that way before I found out what her lips feel like. As for "relationship," how does that describe what's going on? I've got a relationship with my bros, with Splinter, with Casey, with April… heck, I even have a relationship with Mikey's stupid cat. We relate, so we're in a relationship. And "dating?" Nope, can't take her on dates, unless it's real, real dark and there ain't no other people around. But then, those are the best kind of dates.

So I guess, since I never used any of these words, Leo thought that what I've got with Allison hasn't gotten physical yet. And I mean, it hasn't… not beyond kissing. But believe me, man… that can keep me happy for a long, long time.

What's got Leo so worked up about it, anyway? Is it because he don't have a girlfriend? Is it because he thinks that we shouldn't have any? Because we're different? Hell, how does that mean anything? You can compare it to some black guy (or whatever the PC term for them is these days) dating a white girl (ditto on the PC). They got different skin colors, but if they're happy together, why can't the world just leave them alone?

When I told Leo this, he started railing on me, telling me that it is different. That Allison could be a rare green-skinned human for all he cared; it ain't "natural." Wow. "Natural." Yeah, like any factor of our entire existence is "natural," right? Would he rather me wait around for a female red slider to get some green ooze dumped on her or something?

Anyway, we stop our screaming match when he notices that Allison was standing at the doorway of my room, hearing everything. She don't look none too happy… and I really hate seeing her like that. She said that she didn't mean to make us fight like this, and then she ran off. I pushed Leo away and ran after her, catching up with her just before she left. I told her it wasn't her fault; Leo's just got a stick up his shell and always has. He'll come around. Honest.

I don't know if I'm telling the truth or not, but it seems to be good enough her. She gave me one of her nice smiles, and we watched some TV while Leo holed himself up in his room, doing whatever it is he does. Mikey was off doing something with Splinter, and the only one in the room was Donnie, sitting in the corner with his computer. I noticed him looking at us, but it wasn't one of those Leo looks.

Afterwards, when Allison had fallen asleep against my shoulder, I see Donnie come back from getting something to drink in the kitchen. I guess he saw that Allison was asleep, since he finally said, "I hope she makes you happy." I told him that she does, and he told me, "Then you'd better make her happy, too. That's all that matters." He just turned back to his computer, not saying nothing else.

It times like this that I wonder why we didn't make the smart one the leader.


September 2nd

Looks like I stumbled on yet another of them heart-to-hearts. This time, I don't mean it in the sarcastic sense.

I was looking around the lair for Allison, since I wanted to watch this movie on TV with her. I decided to go see if maybe she's hanging out with Don in his workroom, and I heard the two of them talking. My name comes up, so I decided to give it a listen.

They was saying some interesting stuff, mostly things like why Leo's being the way he is. Truth is, according to Don, Leo's scared. He's never handled this sort of thing before, and he don't know what'll come of it. We've been close to April, but this is a different kind of close. Emotions can lead us to do funny things, and Leo's afraid that I'm gonna end up doing something more stupid than usual because of the way I feel about her, either acting out of jealousy or real concern.

Don, though, he sees it another way. He gave her some spiel about probability and unpredictability or something like that, and he said that I can either act the way Leo expects me to act, or that having someone like her around can really help me grow. That I'll learn things about love.

That word really just… it freaks me out. Makes my skin crawl. When Mikey used to watch Dawson's Creek or whatever those stupid "dramas" were, everyone threw around the word "love," using it as a label for the person they was sleeping with during that episode. They were dating, so they had to be in love. And then when one of them left the other for their sister or something, they were just out of love.

And I mean… people use the word "love" for their families, don't they? In movies, you always hear about some kid saying they don't like their mom, but they love them because they have to, because it's their mom. Love's supposed to be this strong emotion that surpasses actual reason. It clouds up your thinking and makes you form relationships that your brain tells you you shouldn't. And as much as I fly off the handle, I got enough brains to know that I don't ever wanna be that out of control. Whatever I feel for Allison, it can't be love. Because a guy loving a girl is even more complicated than a turtle having feelings for a human.

Ow, the deep thinking is hurting my brain. I don't know how Don can do it so much.

Anyway, that talk between Allison and Don made me realize that Donnie's got my back. Wasn't really expecting that, but he always was the smart one, so of course he knows when I'm right. Because I am right. Allison and I ain't hurting anybody, and neither of us is talking marriage or babies or nothing, so it can't get complicated. We just really like being together, and we really like… you know… doing stuff together.


September 3rd

It's only noon, and already Mikey's managed to piss me off. I was putting something together for lunch while Allison was out talking to her future landlord, and Mikey comes in and says he's got a "serious question" for me. I already knew it probably had something to do with Allison, since she's apparently on everybody's minds even more than the possible takeover of the planet by any one of our enemies, but I tell him to go ahead and ask it.

"Where does Allison sleep?"

That's it. That's the "serious question." I told him that sometimes she falls asleep on the sofa while watching TV, and other times I let her sleep in my bed. He looked at me funny, so I told him that I usually sleep on the floor when she's in my bed. He doesn't believe me, which annoys me. But hey, he can think what he wants.

Then he said, "So, uh, when you 'sleep on the floor,' you, uh… you take precautions, right?" I ask him what the hell he's talking about, and he says something like, "You know. Protection." I was still a little confused, but then I managed to put two and two together.

I grabbed the ties of his bandanna and pulled his head back hard, asking him if he was really giving me a talk about sex. He let out one of his stupid squeals and said he was just checking, because he wouldn't want things between me and her to get complicated so fast, saying that he knows what happens when couples get too serious too quick and don't use protection on top of it. I ask him, "Not that I really wanna know what you know about sex, but what exactly makes ya think you're an expert on the subject?"

He managed to pull himself away from me, but he didn't leave. He said that he knows what TV and movies tell him. Leave it up to the mass media to give my stupid little brother even more stupid ideas. Actually, I'm thinking pop culture is what made him so dumb to begin with.

I told him that he don't have to worry; I ain't sleeping with Allison and I don't have no intention of sleeping with her. He looks really surprised, then asks if I don't even think about it sometimes. I tell him I don't, which is pretty much the truth. Look, I'm still pretty new even to kissing; I ain't gonna jump the gun so freakin' quick.

His response? "Whoa, sometimes she even makes me think about…." I tell him to go ahead and tell me what he thinks about. He gives me one of his stupid smiles and runs out of the kitchen. I chased after him, but he made it to his room and slammed the door in my face. He still hasn't come out of his room. Now I feel really, really, really dirty thinking about what he might be doing in there.

Somehow, I'm beginning to think that I'll feel a lot better once Allison gets her own place.


September 3rd

Allison just came in and asked me why Mikey seems so convinced that I feel threatened by "his undeniable attractiveness." I groaned and asked her if she got the apartment. She said that she can move in either tomorrow or on October 1st. I told her I'd go with her to the storage place tomorrow morning and help her start unpacking. I think she's too amused to be insulted.


September 4th

This is the first night I'm spending without Allison since she's been back to New York. I find it really depressing that I can't sleep.


September 6th

Looks like I ain't such a liar after all. Leo really is coming around. I said I was gonna go visit Allison, and he asked if he could tag along. Since Mikey's still under the impression that every time Allison and I are alone we need to stock up on condoms, I figured keeping Leo around won't be such a bad idea. It'll prove that I ain't that much of an animal.

While we were over there, Allison attempted to cook. Bad idea. I found out real quick why she wanted an apartment with a kitchen window. Her cooking's more effective than smoke pellets.

Luckily, Leo knows a thing or two about messing around in the kitchen, so he made us an early dinner. I was kinda suspicious by how happy he was, but Allison explained it to me soon enough. The two of them finally worked out a schedule for her to start ninja training with him. Oh, the poor kid. If he were any more evil, I'd be convinced that Leo's planning on making her too tired to even want to see me any more. When I brought this up to him, he just gave me one of his little smiles.

The evil little bastard.


September 8th

I'll give this beginner's ninja training some credit. Nothing is more amusing than watching Allison trying to keep her balance on a maze of bamboo shoots. I should be feeling sorry for her, considering how many bruises she's gotten already.

And since no one's looking over my shoulder, no one can put me in the "jealous psycho" category for this: Nearly every time she falls, Leo's right behind her to catch her. And I'm beginning to think that he keeps his arms around her just a little too long for my tastes.

There, I wrote it. Now maybe I won't feel like decking him during our next sparring match. Nah, who am I kidding? I always feel like decking him during our next sparring match.


September 14th

I went to visit Allison today. She told me that her best friend Rob came by, and that they were going to work on writing some comic book together. I told her that it was a stupid idea, and she said that, if I wanted, she could always go back to LA so she can go back to writing movies. I told her that she can go back to LA after she manages to pin me down for ten seconds during a wrestling match.

She took me up on my challenge. And who won or lost don't matter.


October 31st

I've been busy. Saving the world takes a lot out of a turtle.

Allison came up with this silly idea. Something tells me that she had a little to drink when she came home from work, because she was acting really… well, drunk. She said she wanted me to go trick-or-treating with her.

Trick-or-treating? Are you kidding? I mean, the only time I ever went trick-or-treating was when Mikey and I first found out you can get free candy out of it. And that was when we were… what, seven? And it was awful candy, too. Cheap people giving out nothing but Smarties. Who actually likes Smarties?

Anyway, I'm sitting in my room, waiting for her to finish changing into the costume she bought on her way home from work. She said that if I liked the costume, then I have to show it by actually going trick-or-treating with her. Right. Because I'm totally gonna-

Wow. When did Little Red Riding Hood get such a short skirt?


November 1st

It's nine in the morning, and I just got back home from Allison's. There was apparently a Halloween party downtown that she wanted to take me to, but didn't tell me nothing about it until we were already mostly there. It was good times, and I think I might've had something to drink. Can't remember.

What I'm worried about is what's gonna happen when Splinter finds me and decides that it's time to have "the talk."


November 2nd

Funny thing about "the talk." There wasn't really no "talk" at all. It was more like a question and answer session.

Splinter asked where I was, and I told him that there was a party. He asked if anyone suspected I wasn't in costume, and I said that it didn't seem like it since Allison kept me mostly in the dark. He asked what we did most of the time, and I shrugged and said we just danced (what he don't know won't hurt him). He asked if there was alcohol involved, and I said that Allison was a little tipsy, but I was watching her to make sure she didn't do nothing stupid (again, what he don't know won't hurt me). He asked if there were drugs involved, and I said I could smell some wafting over from somewhere, but I just stayed with Allison (especially since I'd much rather smell her body spray than marijuana).

Then he asked if I had a good time. When I stopped to think about it, it was the first time I actually hung out with Allison at a big, crowded place. It was the first time someone ever got me to really dance in front of people without it being because I lost a bet. And it was the first time in ages that I completely forgot that I wasn't human.

Yeah. Yeah, I had a real good time. Splinter smiled and told me he was happy for me. He wasn't happy enough to let me catch up on my sleep, though. Damn chores.


November 25th

Maybe I should just stick to writing in this thing on holidays, since that seems to be when I remember it.

Anyway, because I didn't want Allison to give herself food poisoning, I invited her over here for Thanksgiving dinner. April and Casey are spending the holiday upstate with his family, so Allison was our only guest. And even though this was our first big family dinner thing together… she fit right in. Sure, she would've had better camouflage if she was wearing a shell, but hey, nobody's perfect.

The only thing that bugged me was when, during dinner, Splinter asked Allison what she was thankful for. I pretended to be interested in something Don had to say, but I couldn't help but stare at her when she answered, "Love."

Splinter gave me a quick glance, and Allison caught on that I was staring, so she was real quick to take it back. She said she didn't mean romantic love or nothing. She just meant… love. Her mom's dead and she hasn't seen her dad since she was like two or something. This is the first Thanksgiving in about five years that she don't spend in a dorm room or apartment with a bowl of mac 'n cheese. And for the first time in a long time, she's actually with people who want to be around her… and that means she has a family. And to her, families mean love. Kinda weird, considering she doesn't really have no family except for a bunch of aunts and uncles that don't like her.

The moment had a lot of potential for unbearable sap, but Mikey either saved it or ruined it. He reached over and gave her a hug, telling her that he loves her like a big sister, just before planting a big kiss on her cheek. Remembering that scarring conversation I had with him months ago, I kicked him under the table. He made a big deal about it, and pretty soon, we were both wearing leftover cornbread stuffing.


December 26th

I'll never admit it, but this was one of the most nerve-wracking Christmases ever. I mean, I can pretend to not know her birthday, especially since she still never actually told me when it is. And I can ignore anniversaries because, you know, I'm a guy. But Christmas kinda drives up in your face and lets ya know that it's coming, whether you celebrate it or not.

Now, I'm not a religious kinda guy. I mean, it's pretty hard to accept the concept of "God" when your entire existence is based on a freak scientific accident and most of the major religions don't even acknowledge that you've got a soul. But Allison kinda takes the Jesus thing somewhat seriously, at least. And I never let that bother me, since she's pretty laidback about it.

So for Christmas, Allison and I decided that, instead of giving one another gifts, we'd do something for one another. Something that we'd never do on any other day of the year. We kept real quiet about it, and I gotta admit, the suspense was pretty nice. She came over on Christmas Eve to hang out for a while, then said she was gonna go so she could get ready for the midnight service at Saint Peter's. I told her that I was gonna go with her. She asked me what I was talking about, and I just smiled and said that that was her Christmas gift. I'm gonna go with her to church. And in all honesty, seeing her face light up like that made up for the stupidly shocked expressions on my bros.

I've been inside a church before, but that was while tackling some bad guys screaming something about seeking sanctuary. And that was a little ministry on the corner of some street in Bushwick. This was Saint Peter's. And I'm guessing that the architect definitely wanted people to walk in and suddenly believe in Heaven.

It was… interesting, I guess. I mean, I still don't buy it, but I can see why so many people want to believe in some higher power or something. I could point out a lot of hypocrisies, but in the spirit of the holiday, let's just say it was nice, okay? Especially sitting in the back corner next to Allison while she sung from the hymnbook. I never knew she had such a pretty voice.

Afterwards, we walked around the city for a bit. I was so bundled up that I was sure I looked like a dork, but she didn't mind. Some snow started falling, and she told me that kissing somebody at the first sign of snow is supposed to be good luck. I told her that she was just making that up because she wanted me to kiss her. She told me, "Actually, if I wanted to make up something for you to kiss me, I'd say that a flying saucer made out of mistletoe just passed by overhead. Because I'm more likely to believe in that than in the fact that I need to make you kiss me." Cute. Real cute.

I asked her what she got me, and she said I was gonna have to wait for Christmas morning. Since it was about 1:30, I told her it was Christmas morning. She told me not to be so technical about things and to show up at her apartment around sunrise. I told her it better be worth the wait.

The next morning, I showed up a little before 6am. She was still in her robe, so I thought I was early, but she pulled me into the kitchen, apparently really, stupidly excited. I saw why once she sat me down at the table. She apparently made waffles, scrambled eggs, sausages, toast, and fresh-squeezed orange juice—all without burning down the building!

I asked her if she was trying to kill me, but she hit my shell and told me to just try it. I could see that she was a little nervous about it herself, so I decided that my stomach wouldn't hate me too much if I decided to actually humor her. And since I'm still alive, it not only tasted great, but didn't prove fatal. I didn't know which one of us was more surprised.

Turned out that the poor kid didn't sleep at all that night. She spent hours reading recipes on-line to make sure that she got everything right, and was determined to not to mess anything up. It took her a while to get over her fear of a frying pan, but she eventually did it. And she did it for me.

I didn't know what was the nicer gift. Knowing she spent all that time trying to make me happy, or the fact that making me happy made her ridiculously happy. In the end, I think I know what the best gift was.

Her.


January 1st

We kissed while watching the ball drop on the television. The lair's no Times Square, but that didn't make it any less nice. I could've done without Mikey and Don whining about when they were gonna be next. And since I know they wasn't expecting no kiss from me (at least, I sure as shell hope not), I told them that Allison ain't no thrill ride, so they could step right off the line. And if she is a thrill ride… she's mine. So back off.

Mikey made some comment about me being possessive. Don and Leo thought it was "cute." When I looked up at her, I didn't know what she thought. But she kissed me again. And that's all I seem to live for these days.

It's gonna be a happy new year.


January 12th

So I've come to the conclusion that I don't like her best friend much. Mostly because I'm pretty sure that he wants to be more than just her best friend. I wonder how flirty he'd be if he knew that she was involved with somebody that can kill him in under thirty seconds.


January 18th

Now I know I'm getting paranoid. I'm beginning to think that Don's got a crush on her. What the shell?! I mean, yeah, I'm crazy about her and everything, but she's nothing special. Her hair's kinda frizzy and her smile's always a little crooked and… I mean…. Okay, so maybe physical appearance don't matter much when you're a mutant.

But he's been asking why she hasn't been visiting as often and telling me he misses her. And I'd let that slide, but he'll be real quick to correct himself, saying he don't miss her or nothing. And then he'll get all quiet and change the subject.

Irrational, that's what I'm being. I can get maybe Leo taking a shine to her, and Mikey's probably likely to go after anything remotely female, but Don? No way. If she can't hold her own in a conversation about the space-time continuum, then he wouldn't want nothing to do with her.

Is it bad that I'm finally realizing how my double negatives are working against me? Way for me to go on a grammar kick. Maybe I should go on patrol with Casey. We both got the whole "psycho jealous significant other" thing down.


January 23rd

Her movie finally came out on DVD. We had a little party down in the lair while we all got together and watched it. When I saw the deleted scenes, I saw that Allison's cameo role was supposed to be a whole lot bigger. She actually struck a deal with the director to cut those scenes. She didn't want to be stuck in the limelight. She could just see the headlines now: "The Famous Allison Grayson Seen Crawling Out of the East Street Sewer. See Page Three for Details About Her Mysterious Underground Cult."

I think this is the only DVD that I've got that I've actually watched all the special features on. It was weird hearing her voice talk for nearly two hours on the writer's commentary. It was also weird hearing her talk about all the "strangeness" in the plot, even though it was mostly based on fact. Again, it got me upset that people won't be able to handle knowing that these "sewer dwellers" in the movie are real, but Allison calmed me down some.

She's getting way too good at that. I'm thinking it's gonna ruin my rep.


February 2nd

Mikey's started bugging me about Valentine's Day. I think he's just purposely trying to get under my skin. He sulked a bit when I told him I lucked out; Allison hates Valentine's Day. He told me that he hopes I know how lucky I am to be "let off the hook." I guess he don't know that her birthday's five days after Valentine's. Not only that, but I noticed that the 19th makes six months since we first kissed. I'd feel pretty crummy about missing that anniversary.

Damn, she's got me good.


February 10th

Poor kid's been sick. Some kinda sinus infection. I asked Don if he knew how to make homemade chicken noodle soup. He gave me a weird look and said that if I'm making it, he don't want me near the meat. Last thing Allison needs is to have some funky virus introduced to her system. Funny guy.


February 11th

So, apparently Rob does know about me and Allison. And he thinks I'm a 26-year old human fight choreographer. And he wants to meet me. And if I don't meet him by this weekend, he's turning his back on her. Yeah, can you say, "Dick?"

He and Allison are gonna be working at a comic convention this weekend, so she's invited me and the guys there. We should fit in, she says. Yeah, I don't doubt that. I've seen the weirdoes who go to those conventions.

I'll meet him. And if he really wants to see me without my "mask," I'll go ahead and let him see the real me. And if he can't handle that, tough. Who's the better friend: the guy who makes Allison choose between him and a "boyfriend," or the "boyfriend" who don't want her to lose her friends?

He's probably a good guy. There's no way they could've been friends for all these years otherwise. But damn, if I already don't like him.


February 15th

April came by to say that Rob just went into her antique shop and bought some expensive piece of jewelry as a birthday gift. And since a certain someone's birthday is four days away, I can guess who he's planning on giving it to. Well damn. Way to show the "boyfriend" up, huh Rob?

But she don't care about gifts. She never cared about gifts. So I don't think she's gonna really care what I give her, so long's it something real. Something with… with heart, I guess, to go ahead and bring in the sap. My only problem now is to figure out what that is… and I've only got a few days to wrack my brain.

Heh. And they say competition is good for you.