The Sound of White
R
This chapter might be upsetting to hardcore Literati fans. I love Jess/Rory, but I can manage to see sex with another character. I'm sorry if it upsets you, but keep reading!
I own my Haven Brooks.


And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?


"What's wrong with her?" Rory asked, after a few minutes of watching him cook. She was curious and he hadn't said a word since they walked back into the kitchen.

"She's sick," he answered, shortly, not turning to look at her.

Rory sighed, softly and looked down at her hands folded on the counter. "I can see that, Jess," she said, quietly. "But what is wrong with her?"

Jess stopped in front of the stove. His head hung slightly and he sighed before turning and meeting Rory's eyes. It was more serious than she thought.

"How bad is it?" Rory asked, her voice barely audible.

"The cancer is eating her alive," Jess said, his voice unsteady with emotion.

Rory stared at him. She wasn't familiar with medical terms and she didn't know which sickness was more dangerous than the other. "What kind of cancer? Breast? Lung? Cervical?"

"It's Leukemia," Jess said, stopping her before she could go on. "Cancer of the blood. She's had it for a year. She's been through chemotherapy and the doctors say she doesn't have much time, but we're hoping. She's positive, always has been. I'm ... not. I'm scared and I don't know what to do to help her." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I feel like I'm failing her. I want to do something for her, make her better, but I can't. I just sit and I watch her die a little more every day and I can't stop it."

With tears in her eyes, Rory walked over to him and pulled him close, hugging him tightly. Jess closed his eyes and slowly wrapped his arms around her small frame, hugging her back. He buried his face in her hair and took another deep breath.

"What do I do, Rory?" Jess asked, completely vulnerable.

"Do what you're doing now," Rory said, rubbing his back. "You're being here for her and you're giving her what she needs. Keep doing it."

"It's so hard to sit there and be strong for her, Rory," Jess said, his voice different than she remembered. He never let himself show emotion around her before.

Rory sighed, a twinge of her never wanting to let go. "You have to," she said, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. "She needs you."

Jess could only nod, looking anywhere but at Rory. "Thanks, Ror. I don't know why you're here, but ... I'm glad you are."


"Thanks for coming," Jess said, leaning against the door as he watched Rory walk out. "And staying for dinner. I really enjoyed it and I know Haven did."

"I did too," Rory said, turning to look at him when she got outside. "I'm going to stay in town for a little while, okay?"

"Good," he grinned, running his hand through his hair. "I want you to. And come back soon. It gets a little lonely around here for Haven. Maybe you can come tomorrow so I can go back to work for a day?" He asked, hopefully.

Rory nodded with a smile. "I'd like that. I'll come by tomorrow morning?"

"That'd be great," Jess said, stepping outside and kissing her cheek. Rory smiled up at him and ruffled his hair, turning on her heel to walk back to her car. Before she opened the door, she heard him call her name. She looked up and he was walking to her.

"Yeah?" Rory asked, hesitantly as he got closer to her.

"Why did you come here?" Jess asked, leaning against her car. "I just have to know why you came to Philadelphia in the first place. For work? Or what?"

Rory listened to him and sighed softly. "We can talk about it later, okay?"

He started to argue, but she looked very definite in her answer. He nodded slowly and gave her car a pat before turning and walking back to his home.

Once he was back inside, he walked back into the living room and saw Haven struggling to get up. He quickly walked over to her, picking her up. She had lost so much weight and carrying her was so easy.

Instead of arguing, like she usually did, Haven rested her head on his shoulder. "I like her," she said, quietly.

"Me too," Jess said, kissing her forehead.

Haven smiled softly, letting him lay her down on the bed and undress her. He walked to the dresser and pulled out other clothes for her.

"Jess?" She called to him, closing her eyes.

"Hm?" Jess mumbled, rummaging through the dresser for a t-shirt she could wear. He heard the bed squeak and he turned to see her sitting up, resting back on her elbows. He tilted his head slightly, questioningly.

She bit her bottom lip as she looked at him. Tears welling up in her big eyes. He was instantly concerned, bunching the shirt in his hand and walking back over to her.

"What is it, baby?" Jess asked, his hand resting on her cheek and his thumb brushing away a tear.

"I wish you still looked at me like you used to," Haven said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jess furrowed his brow in confusion as he listened to her. "How is that?"

"Like you want me," she said, her voice cracking as she tried to hold back tears. The knot in her throat was tight and she used her own hand to wipe her eyes.

"I do want you," Jess said, still honestly confused.

Haven shook her head, "No. I mean physically want me. You look at me like I'm broken and I need you to look at me with the same amount of lust and love you used to."

"I'm just worried, Haven," Jess said. "You don't rest enough."

"Yes I do!" Haven argued, her breath hitching. "I rest too much. I want to go to the beach or Stars Hollow. And if not that, I just want to be taken on a date."

He listened to her, feeling terrible for keeping her in like a prisoner. "I'm sorry, Haven. You're right ... I should let you do what you want to do. But you have to understand, I'm just trying to keep you."

"What's the point of keeping me if you won't do anything with me?"

"What do you want me to do?" Jess asked, softly, staring into her eyes.

She was silent for the longest time, just staring back at him with weak eyes. He didn't move. He didn't say anything. He just waited for an answer and he would give her anything she wanted.

"Make love to me," she finally muttered.

Jess inhaled a sharp breath, staring at her with intensity. She was so frail, he didn't want to break her. He had longed to touch her like he used to, but was so scared he'd hurt her. If he hugged her too tight, she'd bruise. What would sex do to her?

"Please," she said, softly, watching him.

He finally nodded, leaning forward and catching her lips in a soft kiss. His hands came up to cradle her face and moved her up on the bed as he did so. He pulled back and looked down at her, smiling softly.

Jess moved his hands down to her bra and undid the front clasp, letting the cups fall. He gently cupped her breasts, peppering kisses on her neck and chest. He heard a soft moan escape her lips and he felt himself get aroused.

Her hands pushed up at his shirt in a weak attempt to pull it off. He leaned back on his knees and threw his shirt off, pushing down his wind pants while he was at it. When he got them to his knees, he leaned back down on the bed and kicked them off.

Her hands made their way to his back. Her palms pressed against his shoulder blades as she pulled him back down to kiss her again. He did so, his mouth devouring hers in a battle of passion.

"Jess," Haven cooed, softly, bucking her hips up gently. "Get these off."

Jess only nodded, his hands running down her sides and his thumbs hooking in her panties. He slid them down her legs and kissed down her body as he did so. Haven bit her lips, her eyes closed tightly.

"Tell me if it's too much," Jess said, softly, removing his boxers and letting them land with the rest of his clothes on the ground.

"I love you," Haven said, looking up at him as he hovered over her. He gentle carressed her face, afraid to go further. She smiled and leaned up to kiss him, using all of her strength. "Don't stop," she whispered against his lips.

Jess nodded and spread her legs apart with his knee, leaning down to kiss her neck. She tilted her head and closed her eyes, anticipating being filled physically and emotionally by Jess. He slowly pushed the head of his penis into her opening, watching her face for any discomfort.

When he saw her face was content, he pushed further, kissing her softly as he entered her all of the way. She gasped against his lips, her hands squeezing his shoulders, but not enough for him to feel.

"You okay?" He whispered against her temple. When he felt her nod, he pulled out and went back in, holding back a groan.

"Jess," Haven whispered, her hips moving with him. "Go faster."

Jess kissed down her neck and to her breasts, kissing her taut nipples as he thrust into her. He didn't know if he could hold out long, he hadn't been inside of her in so long.

Haven arched her back up into him and he placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding himself in and out in a steady rhythm. She moaned against him, her head buried into his neck.

His other hand went down in between them and flicked at the bundle of nerves as he continued to pump into her. He rubbed her clit in a circular motion, his movements staying at the same pace.

She moaned and whimpered, whispering his name over and over as she writhed under him.

"Come on," Jess encouraged, kissing her neck. "Come on, baby."

She always loved hearing him talk to her and he knew that. It turned her on so fast when he talked to her during sex. She shook under him, tightening around him as her orgasm hit her hard.

Jess breathed hard, resting his forehead on her chest as he came after her. He held himself up with all of his strength, careful not to crush her. "Are you okay?"

Haven nodded, calming down. "God yes ... that was amazing."

He only chuckled, rolling off of her and bringing her close. He ran his hand through her hair and calmed his breathing as he held her. He stayed like that for a while, letting himself cool down after he made love to his girlfriend. "Haven?"

Haven looked up at him, her half-closed. "Yeah, Jess?"

"Marry me," he said, softly, looking into her eyes. She always wanted to be married. She told him about her dreams of what her wedding would be like and he listened, loving her descriptions. He wanted to give her this. He wanted to marry her before she left him.

"Absolutely," Haven said, smiling at him. She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him, her body completely exhausted.


Lights will guide you hom
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


Please don't kill me, Lit lovers! I love them too! Review?