"Mission ends in sixty seconds!"
The announcer's voice rang out throughout the RED base, and the mercenaries cheered. BLU had been pushed back so far, their victory was assured! Only the Heavy and the Scout were left at the point to guard. "Come on, man," whined the scout, "this is boring. Nobody's gonna get past our defenses! We could just go out there, bash some heads, and nobody would be able to tell the difference!" He had long since abandoned his weapons in favor of playing a little ball with himself.
"No. We are defending. Is our job," said the Heavy, steadfast as he was large.
"You're the defensive class, not me! I mean, I should be out there, runnin' around, gunnin' people down like the offensive class I am!"
"Leetle Scout should have thought of this before stealing Pyro's homemade cookies," Heavy chided. It was true. The Scout had seen some delicious homemade cookies, fresh out of the oven, and decided that if one was missing, no one would care.
And if one wouldn't matter, why would two...? And if two, they were so good, he could have three and she wouldn't notice...
So, the Medic had sentenced him to do the one thing he hated most: nothing.
"...Alright, fine. But, do you wanna play catch or something? I bet you throw a heck of a fastball! Come on, anything..." Whined the scout, desperately trying to find something not as mind-numbing as making different metallic sounds when he hit his bat against things.
"No, Scout. We must defend point. If Sasha and I are caught off guard, it could mean failure," explained Heavy, straight-faced the whole time.
"Um... hey! Look over there! I totally just saw BLU Spy!" Scout pointed.
"What?" Yelled Heavy, revving his minigun. "COME OUT AND FACE ME, COWARD!" He yelled over the noise Sasha made, and when he found nothing for several minutes, revved down the gun. "I see no Spy, Scout. Are you sure you s-" he started, and stopped suddenly.
"Mmmm, what do you put in this thing, man?" Grinned the scout, as he munched on the sandvich. "It's delicious!"
"You... you put my sandvich down RIGHT NOW!" Roared the Heavy, abandoning Sasha and charging at the Scout. "Put it down or FEEL BIG CONSEQUENCES!"
Eh, better that doing nothing, I suppose, thought Scout as he ran away from Heavy. It was too easy, seeing as how he was so large and clumsy. "Oh, man, that was a close one!" Taunted Scout. "Hey, you almost got me there! Ooooh, Dodgers 1, Giants ZERO!"
"Leetle Scout, quit eating my sandvich! Why must you steal all our food?" Yelled Heavy, trying his hardest to regain his prized snack. Suddenly, from around the corner, a BLU Pyro and a BLU Medic appeared, fresh out of uber. The Scout and Heavy exchanged alarmed glances. Their weapons were much too far away to do anything, and no one wanted to run up to the Pyro to try and melee. A sniper rifle's shot pierced their ears, and suddenly the medic had a rather inconvenient bullet through his head.
"THAT'S ALL I CAN DO FOR YA, MATES!" Yelled the sniper from around the corner. "BLOODY GOOD LUCK!"
"MISSION ENDS IN TEN SECONDS!" The Announcer's voice said urgently. This was it! If they could just stop this one Pyro... RED would be victorious!
"Leetle Scout, what have you done?" Panicked the Heavy, thinking as fast as he could. "I have idea! Leetle Scout, grab bat, and brace self!"
"Um, alright, but what are we going to do?" Complied the Scout, looking towards the Pyro, who was already past them and closing in on the point. Suddenly, the Scout's feet left the ground. "Hey, hey put me down, man! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry!"
"IS NOT PUNISHMENT! JUST KILL PYRO!" Roared the Heavy, throwing the Scout with all of his bear-like strength. "INCOMIIIIIIING!"
The Scout caught on quick, and readied his bat in midair. At the exact moment he got within range of the fearsome fire starter, he swung his bat with all of his not-as-bearlike might. The Pyro went down with only a muffled yell, and just like that, the round was over.
"Victory," the announcer purred. "Good work, everyone."
"Yes!" Bellowed the Heavy, triumphantly punching the air. "Leetle Scout hits home run!"
"Are you kidding, man?" Chuckled the Scout, grinning like a maniac. "That one was all you."
The Heavy ran to the Scout and crushed him in an enormous bear hug. "Uhh, yeah, that's great and all," came the Scout's voice from within the monstrous arms of his minigun toting friend, "but I can't... really breathe..."
The Heavy just laughed, and hugged him harder.
