Sardonic Abstinence
Gaara wasn't particularly angry. He wasn't annoyed either. It was his first time ever misplacing anything in a long time. So why his wallet? Was he not focused enough to grab it before leaving the café? What was on his mind that made him forget? Was he that distracted by the blond to actually leave the restaurant without it? He wondered. Gaara checked the clock that lay on a desk beside his bed. It was 12:15. If he didn't get ready now, he would be late for work. But what for? He couldn't get inside the studio without his I.D. Which was in his wallet.
A chuckle passed the redhead's lips. Losing his wallet had its good sides after all. Losing it was an excellent excuse not to go to work. He needed a break anyway. He was getting fed up with his boss's constant nagging and complaints about his lack of imagination, and TPM's.
As much as the idea of sleeping in appealed to Gaara, he knew he had to get his wallet back. He knew he left it at the café, because he bought coffee with money from his wallet, and he remembered his pockets feeling a bit empty as he exited the restaurant. If all went well, his wallet would be at the hands of the owner, or better yet, still on the table.
Then something else dawned on the red head. What about the blonde man- the waiter? Surely, he would have cleaned the tables when Gaara left. Did he keep the wallet? Give it to the manager? Throw it away?
All this thinking made Gaara want to go back to sleep, but he resisted the urge and instead stood up slowly from the bed. He lived in a large apartment- it was a duplex. It was meant to house two families, but for some reason, the upper part of it stayed vacant, leaving Gaara with a fairly large place- attic and basement included.
He took a quick cold shower. He didn't take warm showers because it made him feel uncomfortable. It was too relaxing, too soothing. If someone were to sneak up on him while he was taking a shower such as that, he would undoubtedly be unprepared. It wasn't the same with cold showers. When you took cold showers, you were constantly on alert, sticking to the task at hand- getting clean. With warm showers you could easily lose yourself when you were comfortable, and sometimes spend a long time doing nothing, and before you knew it, someone would be outside your bathroom door with a knife or a gun and you wouldn't even know it.
Gaara chuckled to himself. He acquired this strange sense of paranoia four years ago. He didn't know where it came from, how it came to be, but it was how he lived his life now. It was only a slight case, but it affected him in some ways. He wanted to know why this was happening to him, why he acted in certain ways, but ever since he left the hospital…
The redhead shut off the water suddenly, and stepped out of the tub to grab a towel. He didn't want to plague himself with such thoughts, not now when he had something important to do. He had to find his wallet.
He wore plain clothes, like he always did. A loose gray shirt made of a soft, warm material, and tight dark pants hugged his legs. He took a jacket with him, not really in the mood to fight the cold today, and took a quick look around his apartment before stepping out and locking the door.
Upon arriving the cafe, he was annoyed to find it packed with people. They were obviously there for their morning coffee. He looked around for the blonde waiter that served him the day before and spotted him almost immediately. He was smiling down at a table with four women. All of them looked up at him with wide smiles and blushing faces. The blonde took notes down on a pad and beamed another smile at the women. From where the redhead was standing, he could see the girls sighing romantically as the blonde bowed to them and walked away. They were flirting with him, Gaara concluded.
He was glad that his usual seat in the back of the restaurant wasn't taken and sat there waiting for someone to address him. Preferably the blonde waiter. He got his wish when he saw the blonde strolling over to his table with a wide smile and a note pad open.
"What can I get you, si-"
"My wallet." Gaara said, holding his hand out.
The blonde chuckled again. Gaara frowned.
"I don't have it with me..." the waiter said looking at his watch. "It's back at my place."
Gaara looked at the him with slight incredulity. "What's my wallet doing at your place?"
The blonde smiled at Gaara. "Well I asked around and the others said that you only come here Mondays and Saturdays during the evening, so I figured I would bring it then-"
"You thought I would wait a week to get my wallet back because I only come on-"
Gaara stopped short and looked away from the blonde. He wouldn't get angry. He refused to get angry. He would allow himself to be annoyed but that was it. Why didn't the waiter just give it to the manager? And that smile- Christ, the smile. Why was he always smiling?
"Did you having something important in there that you need right away?" said the blonde noting the look on Gaara's face. "Because I only live fifteen minutes away-"
"It's fine." Gaara said standing up suddenly. "I'll come back another time."
The smile vanished from the blonde's face and he grabbed Gaara's arm before he could go any further. "Wait here." he said seriously before disappearing behind curtains in the back of the restaurant. Gaara frowned at the blonde's retreating back. It was the second time that week that he was looking at that blonde tuff of hair oozing out of a section of the working cap.
They irked him. Blondes. He didn't even know why he hated them. Probably because of all the blondes he had to work with...They were annoying chatter boxes with no manners and so proud of their figure that it disgusted him. Skinny, curvy, supposedly sexy bodies. He hated it. Sometimes he wondered if he would have a better time in the obese department of the business...
Gaara smiled at his little joke. Look at him- contemplating a transfer from his own department to the obese department. He twitched a bit when he realized he wouldn't mind. In that department he would be faced with low self esteem women who have sunken low enough to enter such an awful field where they would be humiliated and scarred, yet still appreciated and loved by millions of viewers.
But then again he could be assigned with a fat blonde. He shivered. God. He'd stick with his own field.
Seeming to wake up from the contemplation in his mind, Gaara looked around the cafe. What the hell was he still doing here? Oh, right. That waiter. Why was Gaara waiting for him? He should've left a long time ago.
He was turning to leave, when he saw the blonde idiot come through the curtains again. He wasn't wearing the uniform anymore. He wore a gray turtle neck that was probably one inch shy from his chin, and a pair of dark navy blue jeans, which Gaara was sure he had on before, but didn't notice because of the sea green apron that covered him before.
Gaara didn't show his confusion when the blonde came out of the room, nor did he protest when he found himself being pulled out of the restaurant and into the cold morning air. It was only when he found himself standing in front of the blonde's car did he register that fact that the man was speaking to him.
"...I know how you must feel, and I hope I didn't cause you any trouble because I-"
Gaara looked up.
"What?"
The man chuckled. "Trouble. I hope I didn't cause you any trouble." He said smirking. He knew Gaara wasn't listening. "You know...taking you wallet to my place and all..." he was speaking lowly as if Gaara was a retard. The red head scowled.
"It's fine."
"I'm not inconveniencing you am I?" asked the blonde. "Do you have somewhere to be?"
Yes. Work. "No." Gaara answered.
The blonde smiled. "Good. Then let's go." He got into the car. Gaara hesitated before giving in and getting into the car.
He vaguely remembered something that was told to him a long time ago...Something about not getting in a car with strangers. But oh, well. What was this man going to do? Rape him? Gaara turned to face the waiter in question. The blonde was smirking at him.
Gaara turned away quickly. The blonde chuckled that low chuckle again. Gaara scowled and turned to the window.
"The name's Naruto by the way."
Gaara wondered if he should tell the man his real name. But what good would it do not to? The man had his wallet.
"Gaara." Gaara said quietly.
"Gaara..." The blonde said slowly. Gaara shook a bit; the blonde said his name like he was a damn experiment.
There was silence in the car for the first few minutes. Gaara refused to look at Naruto, and the blonde didn't speak. Gaara liked it this way. After a while, the awkward air escaped him and he was able to feel comfort in the vehicle. It was a nice car- luxurious, it seemed. Leather seats, beige interior, and a heater that he would kill to get in his freezing apartment. He relaxed against the door and closed his eyes.
"It's a fifteen minute ride, Gaara. The least we could do is talk."
Gaara frowned. "I don't want to talk to you."
Another chuckle. Gaara's frown deepened. Did the guy think everything was funny? He turned to face him and was surprised to see him facing his way as well. The blonde smiled. Gaara turned away again.
"I'm sorry." the red head said quietly. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."
Another chuckle. Deeper this time. Lower...Smoother. "Don't worry about it. I get it all the time."
Gaara bet he did.
"So, Gaara,"
When did the waiter feel it was appropriate to use his name so loosely?
"...what do you do?"
"Women." he answered plainly.
Naruto turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Really." he said. He looked back on the road and a small frown adorned his face. "Are you very... particular about that?" Gaara raised an eyebrow, but then rolled his eyes when the blonde chuckled again. "I meant what you do for a living." the blonde confirmed.
"And I told you what I do." he answered. He contemplated telling Naruto the whole story and decided it didn't matter. "I'm a porn star."
The car stopped abruptly with a large screech and Gaara grabbed a hold of the arms rests quickly. When he turned to the blonde with a glare and a look of incredulity he saw that the blonde was laughing- again.
Gaara swore under his breath when the blonde turned to look at him. 'What the fuck?' he mouthed to the blonde; his voice seemed to fly right out of him.
Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "We're here." he said and placed his hands on the wheel so he could make a turn towards a parking spot in front of a very tall building.
When they parked, the blonde took the keys from the ignition and opened his car door. "Come on." he said with that same smile. "My apartment is on the tenth floor." Gaara glared childishly when Naruto turned around before getting out of the car. He slammed the door hard and was annoyed when the blonde made no reaction. With the the red head lagging behind a bit, they walked inside the large building and stepped in front of the elevator. Gaara crossed his arms and huffed quietly. What the hell was he doing here?
"Wow." the blonde said suddenly. "I would've never guessed."
Gaara turned to him and raised an eyebrow.
"I've never seen- Well I have seen, but I've never met one before..." the blonde said shaking his head with a big smile.
Oh. He was talking about his 'occupation'. Gaara nodded his head and looked away. "I get that all the time." he said. It was a lie. He never told anyone what he did. He wasn't planning on keeping it a secret or anything. The topic just never came up with the people he spoke with. He had no idea why he told the blonde, though. It wasn't any of his business anyway.
The elevator doors opened and two women came out. One smiled at Naruto and the other pushed passed Gaara. Gaara rolled his eyes and stepped inside the elevator. Naruto followed shorty, not seeming to be in a rush, and pressed the button to the tenth floor.
They got off less than a minute later and Gaara followed Naruto into an apartment down the hall. The building was too fancy for Gaara's taste. They had a freaking red carpet, there was vase of flowers in the damn elevator, elevator music rang through the hallways, a digital clock on top of each apartment door. Gaara rolled his eyes. Who was this guy trying to impress?
When they stepped into Naruto's apartment down the hall, Gaara's eyes widened a bit. Books. They were everywhere. Some were sprawled open, others were piled on top of each other.
"Sorry, about the mess." Naruto said. "I wasn't expecting company.
Gaara walked around the apartment warily. It was definitely higher class than his little duplex, and...it was warm. Gaara felt himself become comfortable- just like he did in the man's car.
"So...what kind of...you know." Another chuckle.
Gaara raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"Any particular type of women?" Naruto elaborated. "Busty blonde's? Dirty bookworms? Trannies?"
Gaara's eyes twitched at the last suggestion. "You seem to know a lot about this field." Gaara retorted lamely.
Naruto shrugged. "Everyone's been there at one point..." he trailed off and looked at Gaara with a small glint in his yes. Gaara tuned away. Naruto chuckled. "Wow. I can't believe it. Porn star." Another chuckle- "What's it like? The ultimate gig."
Gaara shrugged. "It really isn't." he said walking around the place. Naruto turned on a light and Gaara watched as the entire apartment came to view. It was nicer with the light on. The books just seemed like decorations now- all of them were big text books, with no pictures in the front cover. There was a desk with a small picture frame. Gaara's eyes widened only slightly at the picture.
"How's that?" Naruto asked. "Your job is having to have sex with women." Naruto said- he wasn't looking at Gaara.
Gaara was still looking at the picture. He couldn't take his eyes off it. "I-it isn't what it's cracked up to be." Gaara cursed himself when he stuttered. "All you get is pay checks and cramps."
Naruto let another chuckle. "What don't you like about it?"
Gaara blinked. "Everything."
Naruto grinned. "What don't you like the most?"
"Giving and getting head."
This time Naruto laughed- not the throaty chuckle but a full blown laugh. "That's a first. What don't you like about it?"
Gaara picked up the picture frame and turned to look at Naruto who was still looking through his stuff. "Well...at the very least, I just don't like the way it tastes. And the women I work with are such..."
"Sluts?"
"For lack of better word."
"And getting head?"
Gaara shrugged." I just don't like the feeling of someone else having control of my penis."
Another throaty chuckle. "Interesting. Ah- found your wallet." Naruto looked up and hesitated when he saw Gaara holding the picture frame.
Gaara put the frame back down, and looked everywhere but in Naruto's eyes.
He heard Naruto chuckle. "That picture was taken a while ago..."
Gaara dared to look at the blonde. He backed away slightly when he realized that Naruto was walking towards him. The blonde picked up the picture from the desk at smiled at it.
It was bright and sunny in the picture. Naruto was grinning widely at the camera while another person- a man- leaned over to kiss Naruto on the side of his mouth. The man's eyes were closed, his long dark hair covering his neck while what appeared to be his arm was around Naruto's waist. It wasn't the whole picture that made Gaara feel uncomfortable. It was that man. When he looked at him, something below his chest- between his heart and left breast, twinged. It wasn't comfortable. In fact it felt like a dull throbbing. He knew this man. But at the same time he didn't. He couldn't remember.
"His name was Sasuke." Naruto whispered.
Another twinge. Gaara looked away from the picture and backed away a bit.
Naruto turned to look at him when Gaara moved and he smiled. "This doesn't make you uncomfortable does it...? He asked quietly. "The fact that I'm..."
"Hardly." Gaara answered. It was the truth. Gaara really didn't care. Being a porn star, there was always those studios where you had to share with another department. Gay relationships weren't new to him. Of course most of them were women...but that hardly mattered. What mattered was that man in the picture. The man who was making him feel as if he was missing something very important.
Naruto's next words made his eyes widen even more. "He's in prison."
Naruto chuckled at Gaara's reaction. "He never told me why- Hell, I didn't want to know why..." he said jokingly. "But he left me...and is now serving for another few months." Naruto said with a smile. "He was convicted four years ago."
Gaara nodded numbly. The feeling in his chest was fading away and being replaced with a sort of wonder. Idly he remembered something that happened that happened only moments before.
"What do you do?"
"Women."
"...Really...are you very...particular about that?"
That brought a smile to Gaara's lips. He was subject to mild homosexual flirting and he didn't even realize. "I don't mind." he said suddenly. Naruto looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Gaara looked away and started walking around the apartment again. "I don't mind that you're gay."
Gay. It felt funny coming from his mouth. He smirked. What the hell was he doing here? Of course another damn chuckle brought him out of his thoughts.
"Thanks." Naruto said through chuckled. "Here's your wallet." Gaara took it quickly and put it in his pocket.
"Thanks."
There was awkward silence for a few moments before Gaara found himself speaking up. "So...what are these books?"
Naruto smirked and looked around at the said books. "They're for my research paper." he said with a smile.
"Research paper?"
Naruto nodded. "Yeah. I take internship sessions at the hospital, and I have to write a research paper about it for my school."
Gaara blinked. Naruto chuckled. "Surprised?" Gaara said nothing.
"I major in psychiatric studies, and bone development." Naruto continued with a smile.
"Bone development?"
"Yeah- so I can do surgery on people who break their bones." Naruto said quickly. "But I think I'll drop that class after I finish this semester..."
Gaara didn't ask why. He was too busy being surprised. Naruto chuckled again. "I knew you thought I was stupid but..." he trailed off when Gaara frowned up at him.
"I'm going to go home now." Gaara stated before turning towards the door. He heard Naruto laugh again.
"Let me drive you."
"I'll be fine." Gaara said quickly before exiting the apartment building. To his annoyance, the blonde followed. "I insist." he said with a smile.
Gaara rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to the elevator. "You don't have to."
"I want to."
"I don't want you to."
For a second Naruto's smile faltered. He looked away from the red head with a small frown and his eyes dimmed a bit. He must've been remembering something, Gaara realized.
"No." Naruto said putting his head up again. His smile beamed down at the red head. "I insist."
End Chapter
NOTES
Gaara seems to have a bit of a...uh...memory problem doesn't he?...and Naruto- Why does he insist? Why does he live in such a fancy apartment? Why does he drive such a fancy car? And Why is Sasuke in jail- Oh, the suspense!
LOL- sorry for not updating in a while guys. I've been lazy, lazy, lazy and I don't have time to use the library's computer as much anymore- but THAT'S OKAY. I've updated. Please stay tune for the next chapter. Where most of your questions will be answered. And I'll be updating 'The Altar' in a while.
Review! : ) They make me feel so go0o0d.
