Chapter 2
The Girl with the Bold Declaration and Blue hair
This was weird; I felt like I was floating in the midair and I could feel the bright sun hitting my face while I was taken by the wind of the sky. I was dressed in a completely white suit and I could feel warm air around me; right now, I feel completely at peace with the world. I could still remember very vividly how Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were talking about me, but for some reason, it didn't hurt that much anymore. Maybe it was because I'm in the pleasant land of dreams I couldn't feel the despair I felt when I was conscious? Well, I guess it doesn't even matter anymore; I want to stay here forever.
''Are you sure about that?''
I could hear a strange and gentle voice calling me out of my stupor, so gentle that the softness of its tone almost missed my sense of hearing.
''What do you mean?'' I asked the seemingly soft voice. Seriously dude, I'm going to need you to speak up.
''Do you truly not want to go back to your own world? There are people waiting for you.'' I thought about that, though I didn't have to think for long. As the conversation I heard this morning was of any proof, no one would be waiting for me. I should tell this apparent all-knowing being that.
''No one would miss me.'' Well, I guess that's fine too.
''That's not true, I would.''
What?
''Who are you….again?''
''You know me well Hikigaya-kun.'' Do I now?
I looked at her, like really, really looked at her and noticed that she was in fact Yukinoshita Haruno. A Yukinoshita Haruno dressed in a white dress, and one that had white angel wings on her back accompanied with a strange halo on the top of her head….The Hell?! Usually when I thought of Haruno-san, the only thoughts that came to my mind were far more demon-like ones, like sexy Onee-chan in a red dress with a trident in one of her hands and some black wings like a certain red-headed Ruin Princess.
''Haruno-san?''
''Well, you could say I am…..but you could also say I am not.'' The hell does that mean woman?! Damn you and your riddles!
''What exactly do you mean by that?''
''We are in your mind right now so logically, I'm just a figment of your imagination.''
I'm not getting this, why would she be an angel in my mind anyway? Like I said she would be a sexy One-…never mind.
''Then why are you an angel in my mind? I always pictured you as the dark type of person.''
''That's something you should be asking yourself, Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun ~ '' D-did she figure out I thought that she should be a sexy Onee-chan?! Calm yourself Hachiman! Just be collective and calm.
''Anyway, why are we in my mind?"
''Well, I would answer your question Hikigaya-kun, but you haven't answered my question truthfully yet. You know~?'' What are you? Isshiki? Don't drag out your syllables please, it sounds like a certain sly and foxy kohai of mine…or rather, use to be.
''Like I said, no one would be sad if I disappeared, well; maybe Komachi.''
''Yes, Imouto-chan is the first option that comes to me too, but right now, there's a pretty lady trying to wake you up, and you shouldn't make her wait.'' Huh? What are you talking about woman? Wait….what's happening?! Soon this world that is my "mind" came collapsing down with Haruno simply waving at me mouthing something I couldn't read. Chunks of my memories fell near me, and soon it all turned into a dark abyss, but a familiar one. I soon noticed that this very abyss is the one that everyone sees when they close their eyes. So I guess I'm waking up huh? Too bad, I wanted to look at the memories I had of Totsuka.
My entire body feels heavy, I wonder why. I can feel a familiar softness under my back, but the rest of my body feels kind of numb, especially in my head. I don't remember anything except that I had a pretty strange dream, and I don't remember what it was about, but for some reason, Haruno-san's face popped into my head along with a steamy image of her in a sexy devil outfit. I shuddered at the thought.
I managed to open my eyes and I looked up at a strange celling, one that I had not seen before. I then moved my head a bit and looked around the room. It was a spacious one, and the walls were painted with white paint, kind of plain if you ask me. I was on a bed with blue covers and some stuffed animals…well these certainly do not fit with that wall.
Across from me there was a desk with a computer on it, and to my right a closet. A Sobu High uniform was hanged on the door, a female one to be exact. I was apparently still in my uniform and it seemed like my hand was being tugged on by another hand, and then, I saw her. I saw her white skin, her beautiful and long blue hair, and her face that was truly gorgeous, almost like a certain Ice Queen I knew. And that's exactly why I pulled my hand from her grasp almost immediately. She's another one of those beautiful girls, and I don't mind being used, but for some reason, it still hurts a bit knowing that I'm being used in the way that Yukinoshita and Yuigahama did. It seems she felt that my hand wasn't with her anymore because she began moving her head a bit. It appears that I'll end up asking her why I'm here, and I can't remember too much from after hearing what Yukinoshita and Yuigahama said…about that. I'm sad of course, but there's no helping it. I knew from the start that we would have ended up in that situation one way or another, so nothing was really that unexpected…yet…it still…still hurt. Anyway, I should try to get out of here fast.
Before I could however, I suddenly remembered that a girl, a kitty, and a truck were involved with me possibly being her. I remember pushing the girl and the cat out of the way and me securing them, but weirdly, I don't recall anything else. I must have lost consciousness right after doing that.
Then that must mean that this girl is that girl? Man, I really hate pity and this girl took me to her apparent home because of it. The best step would be to get out of here as quickly as I can.
With those thoughts running around in my head, I try to get up quickly, and it seems I don't have a concussion or anything of that sort because I could lift myself nicely out of bed, well that's good at least. As I rose out of the bed, I saw the door and began walking in its direction when I felt someone's hand grabbing me by the sleeve of my blazer.
I looked back to see its owner and saw the most beautiful eyes I've ever laid my eyes upon. They were brown, a kind of a brown with a touch of cinnamon. Weird, is that even a legit color for eyes?! With the combination of those cinnamon-like eyes and that beautiful cascade of blue hair that flowed so beautifully down her body, it made her seem even more perfect than Yukinoshita. Her chest was even bigger than Yuigahama's! This is truly strange, it feels like I'm watching a combination of the two of them in this girl, or maybe my mind keeps playing tricks on me because of what I heard this morning.
''I'm sorry for taking that long to wake up. I'll leave immediately." I said to try and assure her that I wouldn't do anything to her, like take advantage of her or something like that.
''…''
Taking her silence as approval, I tried to loosen my sleeve from her grasp, but she kept pulling on it with an even stronger grip.
''Umm, sorry but you don't need to touch me anymore, you can wash your hands after I leave.'' I'm sure she doesn't want to touch someone like me, especially with these eyes that I have.
''…''
This is getting nowhere, even though she's agreeing with me, she's not letting go of my cuff, should I just take it by force? But this girl almost died a few hours ago, I should probably be gentler.
''…Why….''
''Huh?''
She opened her mouth letting only a single word escape it, however; I couldn't understand its meaning. What does she even mean by why?
''Why aren't you….shouting at me for being careless and almost killing the two of us?!'' I was a bit taken aback by her tone, but stayed calm nonetheless.
''I don't really get what you're saying,''
''You…You! You have a bandage on your forehead! You…were bleeding so much, somehow I manage to stop it but….''
And suddenly she aggressively wrapped her arms around me, as to prevent me from going anywhere but here. She started to cry, wetting the blazer I was wearing, and possibly, the one I got in an accident with. I honestly didn't know what to do, this may be perhaps the first time I've ever been so close to a girl, and this person seems to be afraid of hurting someone else, even if it is someone like me. She must be truly kind.
I don't know what to do here, I can resolve most of the problems sent my way but I'm really bad with crying girls. Komachi always takes advantage of that to make me do as she pleases. Maybe if I was someone pleasant like Hayama, I would've know what to do but of course, I am a mere loner, and not a riajuu like himself.
I ended up patting the top of her head like an idiot and saying soothing things that may have made her feel better, if only a little. But…am I doing this for the sake of helping others? Or because of that amazing feeling that I got after helping others? I just know that I want more of that "self-gratification" feeling.
''Listen, you were trying to help a cat right? Nobody would blame you for what happened, and you ended up without any injuries, so nothing bad came out of this.''
I smile to the best of my current hollow state. I really wasn't feeling well, but if she's safe that's all that matters. I wonder…if what I've been searching for so long…is it a lie? Does something genuine truly doesn't exist? Was that only wishful thinking on my part?
I really thought that I found friends or something close to friends in Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, but I was wrong….I was the only one who felt that way. I don't know if I should quit the club, because on one hand, I don't want to meet them ever again but on the other, in that club, I can help someone, I can be of use to someone, and I need that feeling! It's the only thing I have now.
''Your hurt! I want to repay in some way. Please let me!''
''If you want to do something for me, can you let me go now?'' Instead of doing what I asked, she opted to tighten her grip on the back of my blazer and also intensified her gaze on me.
''Don't you want anything?''
''Not really.''
''But…you look miserable right now…'' Ah, here we go with these comments about my eyes again.
''I was born with this eyes.''
''No no, your eyes aren't the problems. In fact, they are kind of cute. They remind me of that Pan-san the Panda, a caricature I use to see when I was little.'' Again with another comm-…wait what?!
I was rendered shocked and had nothing to say to that particular comment. So I did what my mouth willed me to do, that is, to not say anything.
''…''
''You look unhappy and in full despair. I've seen this once…yes. Do you want my body?''
…
…..
HAH?!
''…Huh…?''
''I asked you if you want my body.'' I know what the hell you asked woman! How could I not hear that?! Are you some innocent girl who doesn't know what that phrase really means?! I mean…I wouldn't mind having s- WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! Get your shit together Hachiman!
''Y-your j-joking...right?!''
''No, I'm serious. I heard that the boys usually get better and happier when they have sexual intercourse with a girl. Also, my chest if F-cup so it's a big plus for you guys right? Unless you like flat chested girls, if that's the case, I can give you a kiss or something.''
…
What the hell is this person saying? She's got that air of a cool beauty around her until she began talking, now where have I seen this before?
''I won't take advantage of you if that's what you're suggesting. I may look like a criminal but that doesn't mean that I am one…wait, do you usually offer that?''
''No! I don't do that. I haven't even gotten my f-f-first kiss y-yet.'' I mentally face palmed. This girl is a complete idiot.
''Then, why are you offering something like that to someone like me?''
''My life is yours, you saved me.''
''I didn't do anything special.''
"That's not true! You even saved Crystal!"
''Who?''
''The kitty you save alongside me. I kept it as my pet.'' Ah, that cat.
She gave me a beautiful smile after she said that, and normally I wouldn't be affected, but she was too close. She was also hugging me, and our faces were too close for comfort.
''Umm, I'll give your life back to you, so please..."
''No!''
''Why?!''
''Why don't you want me?! Is my body insufficient?! Is it not attractive enough?!'' She yelled at me, obviously wanting an answer those questions.
''No, not really. I think that you're very beautiful, so beautiful I feel nervous just because I'm near you.''
''O-Oh.''
She got red all of a sudden. I wonder why. I didn't give her that much of a compliment did I? I was just being honest. I really think that she is the most beautiful person I've ever seen, Yukinoshita might beat her but the chest area is a huge factor in this equation.
''Then, what should I do? I want to give you something….Oh! Sorry! I haven't told you my name have I? I'm Yatogami Yuzure.''
''Oh, I'm Hikigaya Hachiman.''
''Hachiman-kun?''
''Why are you getting on first name basis already?!''
''Because we are friends! Go on, call me Yuzure please!''
Friends…don't make me laugh. Something like that cannot exist for me. They'll all end up using me at some point, and here is this girl that thinks that she can trick me. I won't let anyone trick me again with pretty words. False and honeyed words that seek only to instill a false sense of hope into my heart. I just want to help people, and gain that feeling that comes with it. I don't want some make-believe friendship with people that just want to use me. Socialism may be a cruel joke that only a select few are exempt from, but that does not stop me from wanting to help people in need. Anyways, let's get back to the situation at hand.
I managed to escape from her grasp, and started to leave the room. But as I was leaving, I noticed a mirror right alongside the door. As I gazed into the horrific reflection in the mirror that was myself, I could see that my forehead was banged with white bandages. I look like some protagonist, yeah right…., my hair fell in front of the bandage. Damn hair…maybe I should cut it short again. I pushed those thoughts out of my head and focused on Yatogami-san…or rather Yuzure-san.
''Thank you for taking care of me.''
''It was the least I could do. You risked your live to save mine! You could have died, yet you still acted to save me.''
A self-deprecating smile found its way onto my face. I wasn't anything to anybody, as I had found out this morning. The people that I thought were my friends turned out to be anything but that, leaving me without anything to hold dear. I could say I had Komachi, but I should really stop using her as an excuse for all my problems. She was my sister, my beloved sister, not some object that I can use to make myself feel better…that's not…genuine. I don't why I'm still saying that damn word…it's not like anything in this world is genuine, but we can all have our hope right?
"It wouldn't be anything to anyone if I died. In fact, I think the world would just be a little bit better if I wasn't in it."
She got silent after I said that. I wonder why, she seems…well, I don't really know what to think, she has been acting like a cool beauty, but at other times, she has a child-like behavior. Also the sexual intercourse part was pretty strange too. She doesn't seem like a nice girl because it doesn't seem like she is trying to mislead me, but she isn't a bitch like Miura and the rest either.
Anyway, I won't meet Yatogami Yuzure for the rest of my life anyway so it doesn't matter.
''You know; I've been thinking this since you woke up Hachi-kun but…''
''Oi Oi, now you aren't even saying my name, don't go around giving weird nicknames like a childhood friend.'' Honestly what was with this girl, acting all friendly with me and stuff. I'm not the type of person you should be doing that with, the last in fact.
''You…don't love yourself right?''
I was silent at that, it seems she is also perceptive, I didn't expect that, but the more I think about her question, the more the answer came clear to me. There's really nothing good about me, Yukinoshita is always reminding me of that fact, and even though I always refuse to accept it, the truth is that deep down, I always knew it. It makes sense after all, the constant self-degrading I things I say about myself, the way I use Komachi as an out when I ask myself if anyone cares about me, if anyone loves me. I guess she is right, but at this point, it really doesn't matter anymore.
''What is there to love about me?'' I was smirking in that disgusting way again, I could feel it, exactly like in the Cultural Festival. I really hate it when I entered this state, but it was an automatic response.
''There must be plenty of things! You seem like a nice guy!''
''Being nice for allowing people to use me?''
''Someone…has used you before?''
''It doesn't matter.''
''It does!''
''It doesn't…''
''It does!''
I can already tell that this is going to go nowhere. This is turning into a pointless game for kids. Do I look like a kid to you woman?! I'm a grown man dammit!
''…I'm not playing that game for kids.''
''Fuu, you aren't any fun.''
''Yeah, that's me, the party popper.''
''But I've decided.''
This is getting tiring, I must get out, I need some time to think in my bedroom.
''You're staying here a few days! Let's have a sleepover.''
…
WHY?! Why are you always surprising me?! You've given me about 3 heart attacks since I've met you! And it's only been 20 minutes!
''Huh?! How you did even reach that conclusion?''
''I already talk with Imouto-chan!''
Tch. Damn you Komachi. I thought you were the only who cared about your Onii-chan?! Even me beloved Imouto-chan has left me! I'm hopeless…
''You talked with my sister?!''
''Yeah, I ask her to lend you to me for some days!''
LEND?! Komachi-san, you really shouldn't treat your caring and kind Onii-chan like an object. And you! Yuzure! Why are you smiling like you just accomplished the greatest deed of all?! I guess I should figure out why she's doing this.
''Why?''
''I want to repay you, and you don't want my body as payment so….''
''My not so gentleman-like nature is in opposition to that idea.''
Suddenly the air around Yuzure changed, this is weird, she looked at me again with a serious face. She wasn't playing around anymore, that was her facet as a cool beauty.
''I'm going to help you.''
''I don't need help with anything though.'' I just need to help people, not be helped by them.
She either ignored that statement or didn't hear it, the answer probably being the former, as the next thing she said was not a response, but a bold declaration with the most sincere, and confident eyes I've ever seen a person look at me with.
''I'll definitely…make you love yourself as a person!''
And it was on that day that I met,
The Girl with the Bold Declaration and Blue Hair
Hello Everybody!
FireHero here, finally? xD
A lot of you have written some reviews or sending messages telling me about this story and if I ever feel like updating it, so yeah, I'm updating at a much slower pace than before when you got a new chapter almost everyday, I have to take my university entrance soon so my time for writing is almost nonexistent, even though all that is happening right now, I will not put this or my principal story on Hiatus, Hope you enjoy your reading!
PD. Ha
ve you guys seen in the M rated fanfics of Oregairu the new story: The world has become a shittier place, as expected? From IamZero? It is a very cool story of Hachi-kun fighting against zombies, and it is kind of awesome, I recommend it!
PD 2: Yuzure is a name I create, using some Japanese bases. Cool right?!
Beta reader…is too tired to say anything. Have fun with the chapter…and enjoy the upcoming ones…*yawn*… ah SOL's how I love you. Haha…hahaha…HAHAHAHA…ha…
From FireHero and Awesomenes11 we sincerely say,
Bye Bye :D
