A/N So I'm back. Not much else to say, really. People seem to like this, so here I am, back with another chapter because it's been requested. I'm also looking for a few common SI tropes to parody or something, so anything in particular you want to see me make fun of? I'll try not to beat any dead horses *cough Babyrealms cough*.

Also, something I should have mentioned last time. If you haven't finished Revelations or at least been spoiled about the ending and/or haven't worked it out yourself, this won't make much sense. There's so many references to highly spoiler-y plot points that I just had to mention it again. I could always try to omit spoilers, but a good portion of the comedy comes from Liz already knowing events and characters and contemplating them/laughing at the other characters along with the audience.

I was also planning to update this tomorrow as a birthday present to myself, but I won't have access to my laptop until oh-my-god at night, so here it is a day early.

Until next time~

-Storm 2017


After recovering enough to exercise, the time I spent with the Fire Tribe can be summed up like this: Wake up, eat, train, eat, train some more, eat, take a bath, brush hair, relax or do laundry (usually the latter), crash. Every day. Every single goddamn day. They were running me ragged with swordplay, stamina exercises and anything else they could force my limbs to do before they gave out. Mind I was already quite familiar with blades and bows due to a little thing called the SCA (Google the keyword "Pennsic", which'll give you a decent explanation. 'Cause I ain't explaining that, unless you want a full chapter's worth of me doing so). But my life was still a living hell.

Why, you ask? Well, it was partially my fault. If I was gonna survive in a world of magic and dragons, I would eventually have to fight. So after I could comfortably jog around, I asked to train with Rinkah, who did so nearly daily. Since I was incredibly weak compared to absolutely everyone else in the village, they allowed it. And I agreed with their line of thinking. There was no way I could actually escape, not that I particularly wanted to. Aside from the hellish training regiment I insisted on participating in, I had a fairly comfortable existence.

But enough of that: I wanna complain, damnit!

I would collapse every break, sometimes gasping for breath, throw up if I had eaten within the hour, chug some slushie water while recovering, then get back on my feet so I could be thrown to the ground again. To be honest, the water did taste really good, if not freezing, but the swath of large bruises left all over my body weren't exactly worth it.

And let me tell you; tonfoons are hell to sleep on if you're sore. I'd kill to have a soft mattress again if it meant no more waking up worse than when I'd dropped.

Another thing that happened, thankfully much to my relief, was that healing magic was starting to actually work on me. Which meant that the Shaman could somewhat patch me up after every training session. From what I could tell, magic accelerated the rate at which the body mended itself, so it wasn't exactly an end-all cure-all like I had hoped, contrary to what Lissa, Elise, Genny and almost every other healer in Fire Emblem had taught me.

The most frustrating thing about it all was that I was already in decent shape when the intense training began. Had I been out of shape, which would not be surprising given that I'm a couch potato of the highest order, I could have understood why I was being pummelled so badly. But I was very much in shape due to the SCA. Also, if Rinkah had a base strength growth of twenty percent, what would Sakura be like? Maybe the onii-chan memes were right on this one.

Once a week or so, we took a day to rest and recover, and I was free to wander the village and a little of the surrounding mountainside. I was always under strict supervision, like a toddler they were afraid was going to fall off the mountaintop, but I supposed they made me feel as welcomed as they could given the circumstances.

It was the day the Hoshidan soldiers arrived, about a month into my 'captivity' at the Fire Tribe's village, that I remembered something extremely important; the shipping. In the game, all of the couples were devised by the player, but this was real life. So… I had total control over who paired up with who. Okay, maybe not total control, but still. And then there were my personal favorite husbandos. In Awakening, I only really had one. In Fates, the developers took it up a notch with the number of units I had a personal attachment to: I had three this time, one of whom was Kaze. The ninja's dedicated and somber personality had always struck a chord with me, and it didn't hurt that he was very attractive.

Back to the shipping. I had some say in who ended up with who. I was literally playing Cupid for the entire roster of characters available in Fates. Which also brought up the subject of the child units. The games had shoehorned in the Babyrealms to bring back the child unit mechanic from Awakening, but there was no guarantee that would translate to real life. If so, it was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with.

But enough of actual productive thinking! Shipping takes priority. Gunter was definitely going to be alone, along with most of the other Corrinsexuals... Except for Scarlet, because she'd totally be with Ryoma, regardless of actual supports. Ironic, how one of the most unanimously agreed upon ships was literally impossible in the actual game. I was in the Fates universe, damnit! I was going to have my way regardless and was not constrained by the mechanics of a video game. Since I knew what would happen, I could prevent her death, as well as Izana's. I would save as many people as I could, so long as I had the foreknowledge to do so. I didn't want to cause any pain and suffering; I took a neutral outlook in most arguments because I don't like pissing anyone off, so Revelation's path actually suited me well.

Wait… Mikoto.

All of my thoughts came to a screeching halt as I thought of her untimely demise.

How was I going to save her? Was it even possible? If I did manage to, what effect would it have on the rest of the game? Er- timeline. This wasn't a game anymore. If I kept thinking like that, I, or someone else, would probably end up dead. But then my dilemma: Could I save Mikoto without royally screwing up everything? Or was this one of the numerous outrealms that ended with everybody dying? It is canon that there are multiple Fates' universes because of that stupid DLC pack, the… Heirs of Fate? Yeah, that one.

Back on topic: Mikoto's death at the beginning of chapter five was one of the biggest catalysts for the entire story. Could I remove that Jenga block and not have the entire tower come crashing down? And did I really just come up with that lame-ass metaphor?

That being said, would Mikoto even be in danger? Ganglari was supposedly with Corrin, in Valla, so it couldn't exactly blow up in the square. There would be no reason for the royals to gather in the square to begin with.

"They're here," I looked up, Rinkah's voice startling me out of my thoughts. I was perched on a large flat stone a short distance from the village, well within sight of Rinkah's house, looking out over the valley. Once I had adjusted to the temperature, I actually found it quite pleasant. Usually. It probably helped that the Flame Tribe had given me pants and shoes. It was more a fine line of slightly chilly and freezing cold, and tended to fluctuate from day to day. Training kept me warm most of the time, but my limbs always seemed to go numb.

"Coming!" I called back at Rinkah, who was tapping her foot impatiently. I leapt to my feet, jogging to where she was waiting for me. I slowed to a walk, and she lead me into the chieftain's house. I also felt that something was unnerving her, maybe it was her unusually sharp demeanor or how she kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes, but it was probably just my overactive and distracted imagination.

"The soldiers are being debriefed about your situation by my father," She said suddenly, not looking at me. I gave a monosyllabic answer in response. More silence, and we were at the entrance to the sort of common area inside the house before I knew it. I could hear muffled voices through the paper walls, but I couldn't distinguish what they were saying.

"Father, I ask permission to enter." Rinkah called clearly through the door, and we waited for a moment before he answered assent. Sliding it open, we stepped into the room where the Hoshidans, about half a dozen of them, were assembled along with Gondi incarnate and the chief himself. Rinkah's father was a man of large proportions, who looked similar to his daughter through the same white hair and ridiculous muscle mass. He stood over six foot, and was very intimidating despite the usually friendly airs he put on.

The first thing I noticed was that the room was now dead silent. A moment ago, there had been a quiet buzz of chatter as they talked among themselves, but now I could have dropped a pin and heard it hit the floor. Everyone was looking at us, and I didn't like the looks they were giving me specifically, mainly because my nerves were acting up again. I became aware that on the way there, I had crossed my arms over my stomach in an act of anxiety, and they were still there. My hands were gripping the fabric of my shirt in an iron grip, the palms already becoming damp. I started chewing on my lip, a nervous habit of mine, and I couldn't meet anyone's eyes. The choker that had been stuck around my neck via magical means seemed tighter, and I had a harder time swallowing.

I managed a glance upwards, scanning the unfamiliar faces. A few were curious, others dismayed and… yes, there he was. Kaze was there. I felt relief washing over me in waves. My educated bluff earlier had proven correct. Now I just had to convince them to take me to Castle Shirasagi so I could get the ball rolling. Something in my expression or body language must have changed, because the ninja had a look of confusion flash across his face. I couldn't be sure, though, as it was only there a moment. The chieftain nodded, a sign that I should say something.

"Hello…" I managed that and a small wave before reverting to my previous extremely introverted and awkward ways of staring at the floor. Over the next hour or so we were both ushered to sit with the rest, and discussion about what to do with me ensued. I spoke very little, and nearly always in monosyllabic words until the topic of my 'prophetic powers' came under scrutiny. It was passed back and forth like a hot potato before it came to rest squarely on my shoulders, and I was unable to escape the focus.

"How does this prophetic ability work?" It was Kaze who had asked. He was staring directly at me, so it was all too clear who the question was for. All the others followed suit, Fire Tribe members included.

"It's hard to explain…" I was stalling for enough time to patch together a realistic answer, though it would not last long. Thankfully, I had contemplated that same question ever since I had first used the excuse.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," The ninja prompted again after a moment. A reasonable amount of time had passes, so I answered.

"Well… it's not really something I can control," That bit was true enough. "It usually manifests as intuition, which so far has not often been wrong. Sometimes I can forcibly cause names, images or phrases to surface, but that is much more difficult to do. On very rare occasion, I can see full events of the past, but I've yet to cause it purposefully." I shrugged. Apparently my acting skills and fast thinking were adequate, as everyone seemed to buy it. Besides the shaman, who knew I was lying through my teeth. Hopefully it would be enough to gain me entry to the Hoshidan capital, providing that the old guy wouldn't tattle on me.

"We have proficient future-seers already, and our very Queen has prophetic sight," One of the soldiers said. "What need do we have for an unreliable seer?"

"Can any of your people find your stolen princess?" I sniped back on impulse, regretting it a moment later as I realized what I had said. Looking down into my lap shamefully, I waited to be rebuked. To my surprise, someone backed me up.

"Liz does make a point," My head shot up. It was Gondi. Er… you know what? His name's Gondi now. Now that I thought about it, the only one who hadn't spoken up so far had been him.

"Shaman, no disrespect, but how could you know that she speaks the truth?" It was Kaze. He was probably only doing his best to protect Hoshido from suspicious prophetesses who had absolutely no credit to their names whatsoever, but it still kinda stung. The shaman laughed, the same warm, hearty sound I remembered.

"Child, the Fire God tells me many things. If Liz has the blessings of the Fire God, there is no room for me to question her trustworthiness." He said this with a tone of finality, as if that sealed the deal and they had to cart me to the capital regardless.

"Since when did she receive this blessing?" Rinkah asked through clenched teeth, looking as though she was trying not to explode, which wouldn't have surprised me if she could.

"Why, Rinkah dear, didn't I say so at the beginning?" He had a slightly confused look on his face, as though he was trying to remember.

"No, you didn't," She ground out.

"Whoops, I meant to. Must have slipped my mind," Gondi dismissed absent-mindedly, a huge shit eating grin spreading across his face. Oh no, he had totally left that little bit of information out on purpose. Everybody glared at him with either annoyance, tiredness or a strained polite smile. And I mean the 'I'm done with you' kind of tiredness that usually only comes up around younger siblings or that one friend that you don't know why you're friends with.

"I can also back her claims," Rinkah admitted begrudgingly after everyone was done glaring at Gondi. "To prove to me that her claims were true, she predicted that one specific person would be in your group, and even provided personal details that she couldn't have known any other way. That prediction has held true." Oh… that's what was unnerving her earlier. I was right, and it made her uncomfortable that anyone else had known of her moment of weakness. It seemed to me that Kaze and Rinkah locked gazes for a second, but again it was gone before I could really think about it.

Their speeches appeared to convince the Hoshidans of my worth. It seems that being a chieftain's daughter has some advantages. I wondered… would I be able to use that influence? Now, normally I'd balk at even thinking of exploiting someone for any reason. But now I was responsible for saving the world, and I should be able to have fun every once in awhile.

The back-and-forth banter slowed to a crawl, making me both relieved and nervous. They were finding fewer and fewer reasons to leave me here, and those they did find were decreasingly valid. In the end, the decision was practically unanimous to take me to meet Queen Mikoto, and she would make the final decision. Which led to me pondering how I was going to handle that issue when the time came. I did manage to catch that the Hoshidans would be staying the night, we would depart for the capital in the morning, and that Rinkah would be coming too. To be honest, I didn't think that she would have let us leave without her. The meeting was over, and almost everyone else had already filed out. As I was about to exit the room, Gondi put a hand on my shoulder as he passed, and I could hear him say something in a low voice.

"That's all I can do for you, child. You'd better succeed." It stopped me in my tracks, stunned. He had lied about me being blessed, whatever that meant. After a few moments, I snapped out of my stupor with a fit of silent laughs and a smile. That old man would never cease to confuse and comfort me.

Apparently, the Hoshidans would be occupying a couple of the guest rooms in the chief's house; one for boys and one for girls. Since we were to leave the day after, my schedule had changed from having my ass kicked repeatedly to preparing for the journey ahead. I was supplied with a pack full of waterskins, dried rations, various miscellaneous items and what appeared to be a sleeping bag. And a hairbrush, Mila bless. No, I'm not exaggerating. Seriously, unless you have long, thick, extremely curly hair and can't condition it effectively, you know not my pain. I was also given my armour back, with strict instructions not to put it on until next morning at the earliest. Other than that, my day was fairly uneventful until just after I had bathed.


The village was located next to a few hot springs, the largest of which was a mixed bath, two slightly smaller ones that were sex specific and a few even smaller that were reserved for important people. The springs all had paths that joined in a building where there were small cubbies and changing rooms. I was given access to the female only spring, and Rinkah often joined me. Sometimes other villagers did, too, but I was still an outsider and they tended to avoid me regardless of friendliness. That evening, I bathed alone, Rinkah choosing to use one of the private springs. I was in the commons holding a woven basket of bathing supplies and my dry clothes, on my way to change, when I thought I could see something moving out of the corner of my eye, or maybe my ears were just picking up an echo off the walls. Either way, I could sense something

"Who's there?" I whipped around to find myself mere inches from someone who looked as surprised as I felt, though I couldn't make out specific details because they were too close. I made a very undignified squeaking sound and jumped backwards, instinctively dropping the basket, which inadvertently spilled the contents. I reactively crossing my arms over the towel that covered my semi-flat chest. Okay, mostly flat chest. A-cup angst, justice over plot, call it whatever you like. I had small boobs and it usually didn't bother me, except when guys saw me in a state of undress.

"K-kaze?" That was who was right in front of me all right, in full ninja attire. He didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed.

"You could sense my presence?" He was acting normal, as though he hadn't just crept up on me while I was wearing nothing but a towel.

"Aren't there more important questions you could ask right now? Such as, oh, I dunno, why you're sneaking up behind me? There are serious implications about stuff like that!" I was still collecting my thoughts, and that probably wasn't the best reaction, but it was what I could do. I could already feel myself blushing furiously.

"A ninja's skill is always top priority for him. All personal matters can wait," He said dutifully, completely ignoring what I had been trying to tell him. Or just being oblivious, it's hard to tell with Kaze.

Oookay… I can go with that and not make a fool of myself. Probably. Forcing my blush down, I took a couple deep breaths in hope of calming my heart, which was racing with adrenaline. It kinda worked, so I continued.

"I'll answer you after I put clothes on," I said with finality, and he seemed to realize that I was in a towel and nothing else, as his cheeks turned pink.

"Oh, uh… my apologies," He apologised, flustered. He took a step backwards, and through some sort of ninja magic or skill, he vanished.

And now it's time for Liz's random thought of the day! Apparently the colossal anime titan that is Naruto hadn't made me realize this, but ninjas are cool.

Shaking my head, I grabbed the dropped basket and shut myself into one of the the changing rooms. Inside was about what you would expect; a four-by-six space with a bench against the back wall. I sank atop said bench, letting my head rest against the wooden plank wall beside me. I let out a breath, forcing myself to relax. Letting the towel drop, I slipped on this world's version of underwear and clothes the tribe had leant me, which consisted of this world's version of yoga pants and a tight-fitting shirt that had a surprising range of motion. Feeling much more comfortable, I walked out and, lo and behold, there was the ninja.

"I apologise for my inappropriate behavior," Kaze said with a small bow, still flustered. His gaze was on the ground, carefully controlled as not to let it wander to a more inappropriate focus on accident.

"It's fine," I shrugged it off along with my remaining tension. There wasn't exactly a way to change what had happened, and besides… I could always use this against him later. As I deposited my dirty towel into the designated basket, I asked, "You wanted to ask me something?"

"Yes," He nodded in confirmation, still looking at the floor.

"How about we go outside, then? I doubt you'd want anyone overhearing if you've waited so long to ask." I started walking towards the door, the somber ninja presumably following, but I couldn't tell. Ninjas be ninjas, after all.

The outside air was crisp, not as cold as I thought it might be, and the moon was already out, the waxing crescent hanging in the sky halfway to midnight. I lead Kaze towards what had become my favorite spot in the village; the flat boulder overlooking the gorgeous valley below. Crickets and other night insects chirped, a few owls called out and in the distance a pack of wolves howled faintly. I noncommittally wondered if they were wolfskins, but pushed the thought aside. Perched on the rock, my arms around my legs, out of my peripheral vision I could see my company hesitantly sitting a few feet away. I could tell that the Fire Tribe didn't have anyone within hearing range, probably because Kaze was with me. I took the initiative.

"You were wondering how I could sense you?" He nodded.

"To be honest, even I don't know," I shrugged, but couldn't tell his reaction because I was looking out over the mountainside, "But it might've been because I have sensitive ears, or perhaps the building is naturally echo-y. I've been a musician for over a decade at this point; it wouldn't surprise me if either is the reason, or perhaps both. And no, I'm not going to help you train because I can sense you. I don't particularly feel like playing cat and mouse." I finished with a chuckle, having used one of Orochi's signature lines. When he didn't respond, I glanced back over, and he looked deep in thought, if not somewhat troubled. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke.

"Rinkah told me what you had predicted," It was a statement, no room for question.

"You don't want anyone else to know?" I asked, unsure of what exactly he wanted.

"No," Kaze shook his head. "I want to know if there is anything else you've seen that you failed to mention," He wanted to know where Corrin was.

I looked up at the sky again. "I don't know exactly where she is, or how I'm going to, but I'll find her," I said, and out of the corner of my eye, he looked down at the ground. It was true enough, though I had a pretty good idea. I decided to take a gamble; a very risky one at that. Releasing my legs, I shifted so that I was looking into Kaze's green eyes. They were a pretty shade of emerald.

"I need you to promise me something." I definitely had his attention now, as he stopped staring at the ground and returned my gaze, albeit with some amount of wariness.

"I don't know exactly when, but relatively soon something very important will happened, and you will be presented with a choice. A choice to continue on the path set in front of you now or blindly follow a new path that you feel is the right one," I paused, waiting for a reaction. When he said nothing, I continued.

"Promise me that you'll remember my plea, that you'll follow your instincts when that choice arises, regardless of personal blood ties or allegiances," I paused again, realizing exactly what I was asking him. Or, at least what it sounded like I was asking. Looking up at the moon, I continued in a softer voice. "I know what this sounds like, and I don't blame you for thinking that. But I'm not asking you to betray Hoshido. I'm not the enemy. Not even that bastard Garon is truly the cause of all this heartache." I froze, and Kaze looked at me with a mix of startlement and curiously.

Shit.

"I can't say any more," I said suddenly, standing quickly, trying to escape the pit I'd dug for myself.

"Why not?" He sounded alarmed, not that I would blame him. I'd have much the same response.

"I'm sorry, but I can't explain," I turned around to leave, but one does not simply escape a ninja. A hand grasped my wrist, preventing me from fleeing. As I turned apprehensively, he asked me something.

"Can't or won't?" It caught me off guard. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but that wasn't it.

"Both," I answered truthfully, but before he could reply I continued. "But know my main goal is finding the princess," I let him soak that in.

"Why do you believe I would be swayed by that?" His expression was guarded and voice carefully neutral. I sighed tiredly, shaking my head.

"Because she would forgive you in a heartbeat. You could try to make it up to her, but she wouldn't see it that way. She would see a friend who's unnecessarily suffering. You were just a kid; you didn't know any better," Kaze's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. Gently pulling away from his slackened grip, I left him standing at the rock with a few parting words. "Even if you don't trust me, trust what I've told you tonight."

With a final glance backwards, I saw that he looked almost shell-shocked as he processed my words. Not wanting to leave him like that, I added one last word.

"Goodnight,"

I hoped I hadn't just lost my number one ninja-slash-husbando.


A/N To those that requested more of this. Setting aside my sarcasm for a moment, and I know it probably seems silly to make such a big deal about this, but thank you. I really did want to continue this, and keeping it locked away in Google Drive just isn't satisfying enough. I want the chance that somebody, anybody, could find some enjoyment from my work. So thanks. Now for more of your regularly scheduled snark!

So now for my me time, where I get to say whatever. Not that I wasn't doing that anyways.

Okay, so maybe I didn't really follow up on the insinuation of boobs and butts that I made last time, but what can I say? I enjoy toying with expectations. And I never did actually state it would be fanservice-y, just that I had an idea for a hot spring scene and then mentioned boobs and butts. And then I went about characterizing Kaze and Liz with the potential of the situation. Expectations subverted, you're welcome.

Now I want to know how many people wanted to read more because of my "boobs and butts" comment last time. No one's obligated to say, of course, but my inner cat's attention has been caught. I'm also curious as to how many of you Googled Pennsic. It's definitely worth it.

I spend way too much time on tv tropes. It's an excellent way to kill free time, just make sure you've got at least an hour before attempting. And I don't suggest open more than a couple tabs at a time, unless you have half a day to spare.

Until next time~
-Storm 2017