A/N: (Kiisa refused to write an author's note, so I'm doing it for her.) I'm sorry it took so long to get this up for you people. Kiisa is lazy and didn't write for forever, and I was busy all last week with my senior CIT (counselor in training) training over Saturday and Sunday for camp this summer, cleaning the basement for my birthday party on Friday, my birthday itself on Tuesday (the 13th), and the flower show Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. (I got two blue ribbons and a 'best in category' ribbon)
For any of you who care, CIT training was a mix of good and bad. On Friday I cut my finger with my pocketknife and it bled like crazy yet, for some reason, didn't hurt. And I got four fires going in the rain. FOUR! Bwahahahahaha!! Ph34r my l337 pyromaniacle skillz. And we burned the food. Lol. But the Junior CITs were a pain in the ass! Ours wouldn't do a thing we asked them to do. We tried to teach them to sing the camp songs, but they wouldn't sing. I got so pissed off I really wanted to wring their necks. (Hey, we're supposed to look stupid, you idiots! Don't think you're too good to sing and dance like you're crazy, because, I hate to break it to you, you aren't. If we can do it, so can you.) I can definitly tell you that I didn't act like that when I was their age. I didn't have such a big ego that I couldn't be bothered to learn things that'll make the kids at camp enjoy themselves. Brats.
Ok, so yeah, if you guys see any typos, please let me know. I tried to get them all when I typed it up, but I may have missed a few. And I left the rest of the writing alone, so any grammer issues, or punctuation, or things like that are entirely Kiisa's fault. It's her chapter, after all.
Disclaimer: I asked for the rights to Kingdom Hearts for my birthday. I got a new cell phone, Kiisa's awesome card-of-doom (which actually was my favorite present, lol), giftcards from several people (my friend Kara among them - Thank you! I'm getting more manga now!), a really cool dragon kite (from Setsuka - I love you, darling!), pocky (also from Setsuka) FFXII (from Angela - You rock!), a beautiful necklace I'm putting my Oathkeeper Keyblade charm on (from my favorite Aunt and Uncle), and money from the rest of my relatives. No rights, but I'm very happy anyway.
Warnings: AU, yaoi (shounen-ai really), and fangirl OCs
Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, SephirothCloud, Marlene, Soriku, XemSaïx, and whatever else happens to occur.
And since there's a manageable amount of reviews, though I'd prefer it to be unmanageable, I'll respond here!
MysticalxHysterical: I'm glad you like the story, and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! Thank you for reviewing, it really makes my day! And the Zemyx will start in full force next chapter. We only decided to hint in this one. BTW: I like the idea of your Q&A fic. I hope you don't mind that I left a few of my own questions.
jcola0823: I'm glad you think the fic looks interesting. - I'm currently debating reading your Roxette fic. I'm not too fond of the pairing, but your poem got me wanting to see what you can do with a story. So I think I'll read it when I get the time.
rena: I'm sorry it wasn't clear to you. Do you have any suggestions to fix it? I'm always looking for help on how to improve my writing!
FreakyBlondeHair: Kiisa, your review doesn't count, darling. And I suggest you write faster next time so that our readers don't kill us for slow updates. You know how much you hate it when stuff you read doesn't update. Like that L/Raito fic. (blanking on the name) But, all in all, you were faster than usual, so I commend thee for it.
Sulhadahne: OMG! I'm so happy you liked it! Kiisa and I were ecstatic when we found that you left us a review. You have no idea how much it means to us that one of our favorite authors is reading the story we're writing. (glomps) You should begin to show up either in chapter four or five, I don't know which yet, and we were hoping that we could make a big fuss over "Axelerate!". It'd be the sole focus of a few chapters if we get our way. But that's entirely your decision.
Lifes.Lover: I'm glad you like the concept of our story. Yes, yay for Zemyx! We all love the Zemyx. And Kiisa and I must thank you, because of that quote on your homepage we're now reading "The Unfamiliar" by the.israel.project107. And then after we're done with that we'll start on your fics. -
Amarissia: The choir is laughing at you? I'm sorry. Hopefully your appearance in this chapter will make up for that. And when Kiisa gave me the chapter to type up, she asked me to let you know that she apologizes if you're OOC. She tried her best.
Thanks to all of you for reviewing!
xxxxxThe World That Never Was Really Isxxxxx
"Amaya! Hey Amaya, look at this!" Kiisa's voice floated down from the kitchen of the Mad Teahouse. She sounded excited about something, but Kiisa could get excited about anything.
"Look at what?"
"Here, in the kitchen, there's – oh just come see! So cool!"
Amaya sighed and walked towards the kitchen, knowing Kiisa wouldn't give up until she came. Well, she didn't really walk. She was still getting used to the Mad Waitress uniform. The uniform was a long-sleeved, pinstriped jacket over a black tank top, with sleevies underneath, short pinstripe skirt with pockets and belt loops, a pair of black tights, and the black high heels that were currently giving her problems. Her curly blonde hair was over her shoulder right now and on the other side of her head was the small, effeminate crown that came with the outfit for no other reason than cuteness. Or maybe it was because her aunt was the Queen of Hearts. Well, if that was the reason, everyone had already forgotten.
She stumbled into the teahouse kitchen, well, if you could call it that. Sure, in one corner there were a few sinks and ovens and buckets of flour and such for baking cakes, biscuits, and cookies, but the rest hardly looked like a kitchen at all. It was full of giant, and very oddly shaped tea kettles, coffee pots, and boiling vats of water. The air was charged with the smells of burned sugar, strange leaves and herbs, berries, caffeine, and coffee beans. It was the kind of smell that made you hungry and hyper at the same time.
Kiisa was in the baking corner, leaning over and looking behind one of the ovens. Seeing the other girl, she straightened back up and Amaya saw that she had the something-is-about-to-explode look on her face, so this either meant something very good or very bad.
She was wearing more or less the same outfit, but the jacket had shorter, almost tank-top like sleeves, so you could easily see the sleevies she was wearing underneath. Also, instead of the skirt, she was wearing baggy, floor-length pinstriped pants, and boots with heels almost as tall as Amaya's, but much more clunky. She also had a studded belt from who-knows-where, and a top hat, which was her favorite part of the outfit.
"Ohmygod, Amaya, I was just wandering around 'like dude, weird kitchen,' and I'm like 'I bet there's spider webs and stuff behind this oven,' and I look and oh, just look yourself!"
At this point, there was no way to get her to shut up without looking. Amaya wasn't really sure she wanted to see, but she bent to look behind the oven anyway.
Now, most theme parks have fire extinguishers in glass cases that say 'break in case of emergency.' Behind the ovens of the Mad Teahouse, however, there was a giant glass case with 'break in case of Deep Shit' printed on it. Inside the case was a foot-wide and six-feet-long, one hundred and fifty pound, slightly rusted sword.
"…Wow."
"Yeah, and look at this cabinet, there's tea, but there's all sorts of ninja stuff in the back-"
"A-hem."
Startled, Amaya turned toward the doorway of the kitchen, where one of the other girls they had just met was standing. Honestly, Amaya had never been good with names, but she thought that the other girl's was Nicole, or Kelle, or something like that.
She smiled at Kiisa's incredibly guilty look. "No one's using the ninja stuff, it's left over from one of the previous waitresses, so if you're not on the job, you can use them, I guess. The sword's mine, though. Anyway, Amarissia's looking for you two. You're going to go meet your victims."
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
"You're in the scion of the park known fondly as The Nuthouse. It includes Wonderland, Halloween Town and The World that Never Was. That's where you're going."
"Really?!"
Amaya had chattered on for a while as they were walking down the cobblestone paths with one of the older fangirls they had just met. She was very pretty, and seemed sophisticated to Kiisa. What was her name? Amary-somethiing, Amarissia, that's what it was. Kiisa was walking behind them, being social was Amaya's job. Kiisa was there for the explosions, or anything else with dramatic or romantic potential.
They were at the end of the path, and had gotten to the Gummi Ship system. The whole park was set up on islands, starting at the Destiny Islands with a walkway to Traverse Town through the little cave with that weird door that exists for no reason in the game and the only way to get to the other 'worlds,' aka islands, was using the river system. The 'Gummi Ships' were actually boats, and unfortunately couldn't fly, but were carved and painted to look like Gummi Ships, so the fangirls squaled anyway.
They bypassed the Gummi System however, and Kiisa realized that wherever they were going must still be on Nuthouse Island. Kiisa grinned, no wonder they ended out here.
"Oh my Ra, Kiisa, did you hear that?"
"…No?"
Amaya sighed and Amarissia giggled in a very amused way at Kiisa's guilty expression, head resting on one shoulder, and half-hearted question. "Kiisa," said Amaya slowly, "we're going to The World That Never Was."
"Really? Cool."
Amaya counted off the seconds. Delayed reaction: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
"REALLY? YAY OH MY GOD! ORGANIZATION XIII! BEST THING EVER-"
Amaya started tuning her out. She would be doing that for a while. Besides, they were almost there.
Above them, looking exactly like how it did in the game, was the castle that never was. Parts of an empty city lay around it, but here it wasn't so empty. There were people in the streets, half of them cosplaying the Organization, but Amarissia said they would be able to tell who the real ones were. Of course, the 'real ones' were cosplayers too, but Kiisa knew better than to say that out loud.
And in front of this grim, hulking city with forbidding techno-pop music playing from hidden speakers all over the place, there was a brightly colored, pastel pink entryway. It was vaguely arc shaped and on the top was a cartoon image of The Superior hugging an armful of hearts. In fancy script it said: 'Thank you for donating your heart! 3' and to enter you had to walk through one of those glass, spinny things you turn as you enter one of those fancy hotel buildings. Every time someone walked through it, the counter below the text clicked up once more. And somehow, in some freaky way, it knew if you had been through before and never counted anyone twice. Amaya and Kiisa happily walked through as the counter went up two more with a happy 'ding!' each time, although it didn't count anything for Amarissia. In other words, the whole thing reeked of Demyx, not that anyone was complaining, of course.
Amarissia walked straight to the entryway of the castle, chatting happily with Amaya, as Kiisa stared around in amazement and, miraculously, only tripped once or twice. The crowd parted for them as, apparently, the Mad Waitresses had already gained a sense of infamy and respect within the park. Kiisa hardly noticed this, though, as her thoughts were focused on meeting the Organization after years of idolizing them and an unhealthy Kingdom Hearts obsession.
The doors to the ominous hallways and giant staircases were wide open. People walked in a hushed excitement – Organization XIII had not been seen, nor caused any havoc yet today and nobody knew why. Nobody, of course, save the administration and the Nobodies themselves. In truth, it was simply the fact that two new Mad Waitresses had been hired and they were to meet them today in the 100th level of the castle.
Amarissia walked them through the castle, past a locked door (employees only, opened with a special Heartless Key), and into the Secret Elevator that was installed when Marluxia got too lazy to walk up and down the stairs all day and recruited Axel to blow a hole in the back of the castle with his stash of dynamite where number XI felt the elevator should be.
The doors opened (slowly and dramatically of course) to a long hallway that was bland, white, and slightly claustrophobia inducing. That actually made Kiisa feel at home – she was find of enclosed, darker places. Nothing could jump out at you.
Amarissia turned around and smiled at them. "Welcome to the coolest place in the world."
Amaya blinked, "Um…what?"
"Behind any one of these doors are the personal rooms of the Organization members and a few lounge rooms. When you look closer down the hall, they start getting roman numerals, I – XIII, painted in them, and since our Naminé wanted her room to be here instead of on the Destiny Islands, we have a XIV too. Well, it was until we heard the rumors about the 'actual XIV' from that 358/2 Days game, so it has a crossed out XIV, a frowny face, and 'Naminé' painted on it. The one with the painted rainbows and stuff in obviously Demyx's-" Kiisa squealed here, "- and the one where Larxene spray-painted 'emo' in pretty pink writing is Zexion's." It was Amaya's turn to squeal. "Oh, and the one that's entirely black with a single foreboding 'I' is Xemnas's. Ah, and here we are at the main lounge."
"The door with all the screaming coming from it?" Kiisa asked with a little bit of a grin.
Amarissia's mouth opened and closed. She trod to the leery, non-threatening looking door, listened for a second, then said: "Yes. It's the door with all the girly screaming coming from it."
The three fangirls exchanged looks.
"Five bucks on something perverted."
"Ten on someone being beaten up."
Kiisa considered the options for a moment. "Six dollars and sixty-six cents it has something to do with popcorn."
They opened the door.
Several ducks seemed to have gotten in, one of which was attempting to eat Naminé while piles of shredded paper were burning all around the room, slowly becoming ashes. The obvious culprit for the fires, Axel, was bound, gagged, and stuck to the far wall with over 300 push-pins, and Saïx had been KO'd in the corner for some unknown reason. Marluxia and Larxene were both chasing after a madly screaming Demyx, who then tripped over an upside-down couch and went sprawling into Zexion. And the three waitresses were just in time to see Xigbar, who had just been calmly standing there, stride across the room and give Xaldin an emotionless bitch-slap.
Amarissia turned around and walked right back out.
Amaya blinked a few times.
After a second or two, Kiisa fell over laughing.
Now then, the purpose of this fic is to pimp authors and stories that we like. If you review, we look at your homepage and stories. If we like them, we pimp them with your permission. Thus, the vicious cycle continues. Get the idea? Click the review button.
Now then, remember my promise last chapter? Well, we got six reviews that count, so the third chapter will be up even if no one reviews this time around. See? I keep my promises. But I'll be sad if we get no reviews so please click the button. It really makes my day.
