Author's Note: ^^::: I do love this pairing, though I do apologise for how dark the first chapter was... However, I really need to know if people like this one or not ^^:::::::::::::::: even just send me a message (whether to continue) or whether to delete XD and do a different one for Taste loool. Please review^^

Disclaimer: I owwwwwwwwwwn nothing! loool


Everything ached.

His Spark ached, his processors ached, his chassis ached something fierce. A soft groaned scaped him, blades twitching helplessly against the berth beneath him as he was slowly coming up from the depths of recharge. Blue optics flickered online dimly, his entire frame shuddering softly, clearly not knowing what was going on, other then the fact his Spark held only one Bond, one bond that was as battered and broken as he felt.

But there was the definite feelings emanating from the other end. Something very much alive…

Blades jolted upright, his entire frame screaming at him for the movement, optics scanned his surroundings, noting the grey and white paint above him, Medbay. When suddenly he was in desperate need for a visual confirmation of the presence he felt pulsing in the back of his thoughts. A hand curled around his softly, squeezing it gently and blue met red abruptly. The large black frame of Trailbreaker was sitting beside the medical berth, his optics glanced down into the little Protectobot's face before flickering away in guilt.

Blades could feel it. Feel the waves of self-loathing and shame flood through his companion, all those emotions roiling around within him too for a long moment, the Bond giving him a glimpse into the other's processors. Before love filled the gap between them, wrapping about all those feelings, swamping them and driving them away with a fierce determination, Blades making sure there was no room for this guilt to remain. He didn't understand his own feelings even though they seemed to be displayed so clearly to Trailbreaker. He didn't understand the Bond, barely understood what he had actually done to keep the other alive. The little Protectobot was surprisingly naive at times, especially when it came to relationships.

The expression on Trailbreaker's face ranged from self-hatred to suddenly looking very dazed, crimson optics blinking almost helplessly against the tide of emotions that filled him powerfully. Blades was use to having more than one Bond attached, use to having to 'yell' his emotions to be understood by those around him. However, it appeared the reception in this new very strange Bond was something of far better quality than he had thought, 'Breaker was being overwhelmed by the raw passion that could come and go like a spring breeze right up into his processors.

The Protectobot was twisting forwards almost unbalancing himself, as he went for tho armoured wrists, his fingers closed around them abruptly, tugging upwards, turning them over and folding the fingers out flat to allow his thumbs to slide beneath the armour. The circuitry and cabling beneath was smooth and unmarked, vital lines that had been sliced open were now replaced. Fluids pulsed beneath his touch, life flashing by before him and he couldn't help but sag in relief.

"Are you… are you alright? I mean… I can feel that you're… okay but…" Were these feelings deceptive? What was he to expect from this Bond? What was he to expect from Trailbreaker?

"All patched up and refuelled." Tugging a little, one of those hands was drawn to the black chassis, the back of those digits pressing against it to feel the Spark within pulsing wildly in feverish delight at the contact. "You... Bonded with me." A sound of awed wonder escaped Trailbreaker at that thought.

"I…"

A warm tickle suddenly came from the other end of the Bond, startling Blades with the exchange of something tender and indescribable, chasing out the 'ache' that rested within his Spark. The pain that had always been there was cast out easily with the faintest of brushed from the other end of the Bond, demonstrating its power over both of them.

"I didn't have your permission… I… you… you were so cold…" A shudder rippled through his frame at that thought, blades drooped down against his back. "I… I didn't know what else to do… I…"

"I want this Bond. You've done absolutely nothing wrong."

"You… you really want it?"

Trailbreaker was trying to smile, optics brightening a little for a moment, before he was pressing that hand more firmly against his chassis. Even though it had been forced in some part, it had still been something very intimate, an act of sacrifice on Blades's part to save his life… He hadn't understood why someone would do that; the moment he woke he had been determined to understand. He had asked poor First Aid a thousand questions, almost driving the little Mech insane with them trying to learn more about his 'other half'.

"More than anything."

Suddenly the hand slipped free of his grip, but the raven black Mech blinked sharply when two arms were stretched out towards him, blue optics staring straight into him, the expression and gesture clearly asking to be held.

Trailbreaker leaned forward; shifting up and out of the chair he had been parked in for most of the last three earth days, frame aching in places he didn't want to know ached. Dipping in, he was sliding his arms under those slender ones, lifting upwards as sleek limbs coiled around his waist, clinging to him before he was dropping back into the seat once more the smaller Mech settled firmly in his lap. Those blades quivered slightly against his forearms, twitching and flickering like the wings of a dragonfly, before he was brushing a fingertip against the side of one, trying to sooth the little Protectobot. How long had it been since he had last held another like this? Since he had last being gripped so tightly? Since he had last been in a relationship? The white and red helm buried itself against his throat, trembling like a leaf caught in a breeze, clearly just as confused as he was.

This wasn't at all like the Mech First Aid had described to him or like the rumours whispered over radio signals, the headstrong 'bad boy', who had a way of pissing you off within moments if he didn't like you. Blades was nothing like that, a riddle of insecurities and the shattered end of broken bonds, the little Mech had been clearly trying to hide everything by hiding beneath a veneer of anger and hatred, just like Trailbreaker, they had both being using masks, one anger, the other humour.

Trailbreaker could feel the ragged ends of several bonds, both old and new surrounding their own, awkwardly forged and uneven Sparkbond. No repair had been attempted on them… The flash of pain, one familiar to him touched his Spark. The feeling of incompletion, one half always missing…

"Oh Primus." Trailbreaker was suddenly shifting the smaller body upwards, so that they were chassis to chassis, their Sparks lining up. His grip tightened around that slender waist, a hand stroking more firmly over that blade, feeling it quiver and press into his touch. "How could they leave you like that? Didn't they see?"

Tears were bubbling up, Blades unable to hold it in as he was being cuddled, his emotions filtering up into the solid though badly forged Sparkbond between them, feeling a gentle understanding wrap about him. An attempt to comfort him…

"I'm here." 'Breaker sudden felt needed. For so long he had been so useless… so empty… so… unnecessary and suddenly there was someone that needed him desperately, wanted him. It threw him for a loop. "I'm here I promise."

"Good." The little Mech whispered, his lips touching against the warm pulse just under that strong chin, his head dropping back down against one strong black shoulder. "If you left me I would never forgive you."

"Then I'll just have to stay to make sure you never become angry with me."

His arms tightened around those massive shoulders, shivering as that hand was sliding up and down the length of one of his rotor blades, sudden jolts of hot pleasure bubbled up within his body, a soft gasp of pleasure escaping him. Optics flared wide for a moment before sinking strutlessly against that heavily armoured hide, his optics half shuttering, his entire frame just seemed to melt right then and there. He liked having those hands on him, though he didn't quite understand the flutter of heat that coiled up within him with each stroke.

"Blades?"

"Mmmh?" He didn't bother trying to answer intelligently, his face nuzzling tightly against that throat, his mouth finding a primary Energon line, lips suddenly closing about it, glossa licking against it, intoxicated by the taste of life that ran through Trailbreaker. Much better like this… the taste was far better.

"What… I…?" Crimson optics half shuttered, his head lifting slightly, unable to help the raw jolts of desire that flared at the feeling of that mouth doing… that. But he also had the impression the soothing caress he had been giving those blades was definitely the cause.

"Breaker?"

Unexpectedly the door was sliding back sharply to reveal the worried frame of First Aid and the clearly displeased Ratchet hovering just behind, the medics both having been alerted to the fact that the little Protectobot had finally woken up.

"You were meant to tell us the moment he came online." Ratchet regarded Trailbreaker sternly, having allowed the black Mech to remain, though having kept a careful eye on him considering the fact that… Ratchet had nearly offlined himself in guilt at not having noticed any of the signs of Spark-deep depression in 'Brearker. The Mech had long ago learnt to fool even the Chief Medical Officer with his smile and good humour.

"I… Sorry…"

"Trailbreaker." First Aid was sending Ratchet a slight glare for a moment, soothing his Bondmate and trying to ease away the guilt, no one had realised, they were all at fault for missing it… but the answer to 'why' the Mech had done it remained a closely guarded secret. "We don't mean to…"

"Don't worry about me." The Mech was suddenly smiling, jovial. Attempting to deflect the emotions and reassure the pair that everything was back to normal…

But someone had left the backdoor open and Blades was in and under all those shields, tugging at Trailbreaker's supports… yanking hard at the edges of the false happiness, knowing that hiding wouldn't work. The little Mech was coiling mentally about 'Breaker, supporting him, but cutting out everything else about them… Forcing the black mech to acknowledge the reality of what he had indeed done.

"Trailbreaker, we are here to help you… here to listen…"

"Hound." Blades was latching onto the thoughts that were trying to be shuffled away into a hidden file somewhere, but he was tracking them down, knowing that if Trailbreaker wouldn't say it… he would.

"Blades… no…" 'Breaker was gazing down at the Mech in his arms, not being able to resist the touch against his mind, his defences melting before it. "Please."

"Say it then. If you don't, it'll just stay in there, festering…"

"I… I can't…"

"Skyspiral."

"Blades…" Trailbreaker had let him in, now he couldn't get him out… but he didn't want him out. No… Blades was doing what Trailbreaker couldn't… tugging up everything… and sending waves of comfort and reassurance into the gaps that it created.

"Too slow."

'You're not, you think everything through, you plan before you act and that has saved thousands of lives.' Memories flickered, danced before him, victories and defeats, but his plans and shield had saved some, making a difference to the war in some way.

It was like someone was in there… cleaning out the shadows, gathering them up and burning them.

"Useless…"

'You're not. I need you. The Autobots need you. You helped win the battle of Mission City, if you hadn't sent that virus imagine what could have happened?'

"But Hound…"

"…Is well and recovering in his new upgraded frame. You acted fast bringing him to Ratchet, saving his life."

"Blades…"

"I'm here to help… here for you…"


XD I'm herrrrrrrrrrrre for you!!!!!! snuggling will come XD if I do continue with this one XD