"Welcome back to the 24 hour special What Not to Wear – Ninja Edition!!! Next up is Haruno Sakura with the rest of Team 7. And don't think we'll play nice just because she's a girl!"

Sakura gives the hosts a death glare worthy of Sasuke.

"CHA! Why the hell do I have to be here? There's nothing these two old crones could tell me anything I don't already know about fashion. No way. And how dare they bully Tsunade-sama into allowing this? Just to pay off gambling debts…. how could she do this to me? Honestly, who gave these old bats the right to lecture us?" Inner Sakura hollers.

The hosts twitch.

"We are not old crones!" Amethyst hollers back at Sakura. "And you call that fashion? That dress is about as fashionable as bikini on a hippo. Anyone with pink hair should not be wearing red. Monochromatic much?"

"H-how did you hear that?" Sakura stuttered as the two brought forth her cloths and arranged them to there liking of the rack.

"Don't question the gods of fashion, little girl." Jade wagged her finger in Sakura's face before tugging on Sakura's Arm. "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura, what on earth is with these elbow things?" she tisked, "Are you planning on going rollerblading after the show, dear?" Pulling them off she tossed them in the trash. "Got news for you, there are no roller rinks in the Elemental Nations. That little idea still hasn't caught on yet. Now if they're there to protect your poor precious elbows when you slam into a tree…. well, that's just pathetic. You're a ninja for crying out loud! Ninja don't wear safety gear!"

"And darling," Amethyst cut in, "what is with the knee-highs? It's sooo good catholic school. Do we need to get you a cute little plaid skirt to go with them? As Jade just mentioned, you're a ninja for crying out loud! You're not going to be getting into Sasuke's pants with that attitude. Though, given his choice of undergarments, you're probably not going to be getting into his pants anyway. That's an honor reserved for… well, never mind."

"What do you mean by that you horrible old crone?!" Inner Sakura began screaming again. "First you insult my clothing, now you bring up my love's underwear!"

"OOOO now we're horrible old crones! At least we know where a hitai-ate goes. Here's a hint…. NOT on the top of your head. What are you expecting? Freddy, or perhaps the guy from Scream to come along and attack you? Cause that is the only way someone is going to attack the top of your head." Jade laughed, "Not only is it NOT protecting you, but no one can tell what village your from. Unless you head-butt them; tell me, do you do that often?"

Amethyst laughs before reaching over to yank off her skirt.

"Why do you wear a mini skirt with shorts?" she asks waving the skirt in the air. "If your skirt is so short that you need to wear shorts under it, you need to get a longer skirt honey. Or, you could invest in a nice skort, while a fashion faux pas, is less awful than the skirt with shorts look."

The hosts toss Sakura's clothes in the giant bow bucket along with Sasuke's clothes and comment on how that's the closest to Sasuke's clothing that she'll ever get. The stagehands then hustle her off to the blue room where Sasuke unknowingly waits.

"Since this is our show, and we need a tea break, not to mention we want to go check on Bobbie, we're going to cut to a break. Please enjoy these messages from our sponsors." Jade linked arms with Amethyst, "We'll be back in five." And the two walked off to grab some snacks.


Kitsune: YAY! A review. and 2 faves...awsome (as spelling skills, or lack there of come forth in this note) Uh. yeah. and we updated! that's about for now.

Weevil: Well, hopefully my spelling is somewhat better than a certain other author's. I blame all spelling errors on her. (Just kidding...) Hope everybody enjoys the Sakura bashing. (I wonder what happens back in the blue room when she sees a certain missing-nin in his foxy boxers...)