Author's Note: Once again, my one-shot turned out to be no such thing. For Mlee because she asked with big kitty eyes. :) This goes AU after Silver Wings of Time; there will be no talk of moving here!
Chapter 2: The Morning After
I sleep surprisingly well. Lisbon has learned a thing or two about couches over the years, and the nice thick throw served me well as a blanket. It undoubtedly helped that it smells like her. As I watch the sun rise, I spend a few minutes idly concocting a plan to buy an identical one and switch them out from time to time so I can always have a Lisbon-scented blanket.
But then, the entire reason I am here is to convince Lisbon to take a chance on me, which should logically lead to my not sleeping alone anymore, at least eventually. Though I think having the actual woman lying within reach all night might not lead to sleep, at least not until I've reached the point of exhaustion.
Her phone goes off, and I dig it out of the little clutch she was carrying last night, now abandoned by the door like her shoes. It's her alarm. I silence it, then turn it off, having automatically made note of her passcode some time ago, and think about texting Fischer to say she won't be in. I'd better see how she's doing first.
I hear the coffeemaker switch on—that must be her backup alarm. I turn it back off as I make my way toward her bedroom. She's sprawled on her stomach, hair everywhere, and when I lift a few strands of it I see she's drooling on her pillow. She's a mess, but my heart squeezes a little at the sight. She is so precious to me. I want her to be happy, but at the same time...well, I just want her.
I lean in and kiss her forehead, smoothing her hair back from her face and stroking her cheek. I love taking care of her. Who else in the world would ever let me take care of them? I lost one family through arrogance and broke up another through selfish obsession. She is all I have left. I thought maybe I could stand to let her drift away if it meant she would be happy, but I know now I was wrong and Cho was right. Lisbon isn't happy. She's settling for second best and telling herself it's enough.
She moans a little and frowns in her sleep, so I soothe her with a gentle scalp massage and then go to the bathroom to fetch her some aspirin and a glass of water. Leaving those on the nightstand for her when she wakes up, I then return to the living room, retrieve her phone, and text Fischer. Cho will think something's up, because he knows Lisbon is rarely sick, but Fischer and Abbott haven't known her long enough to be suspicious.
I give it 15 minutes and then send a text from my own phone, complaining of flu-like symptoms. Lisbon and I spend enough time together that contagion bringing both of us down is plausible. Cho won't rat me out because he'll figure I'm either working on the assignment he gave me or recovering from Lisbon having beaten me to a pulp.
As I finish, Lisbon's phone buzzes. It's Pike, asking how she's feeling this morning. He must have noticed she had too much alcohol and not enough food. Good for you, genius, I think as I scowl at the phone. Obviously he can't be trusted with an important matter like the care and feeding of Lisbon.
I don't reply, because Lisbon will forgive me impersonating her to call in sick but not to chat with her boyfriend. Instead I head for the kitchen, seeking tea. I won't cook anything until I'm sure she's not sick to her stomach, but maybe—aha! Strawberries! I pop one in my mouth and search until I find a small stash of tea bags and an electric kettle.
I sip my cup of tea at the little table in Lisbon's kitchen, looking around with satisfaction. Lisbon's place in Sacramento was basically a crash pad; here, she's made a home. She must have learned a thing or two about nesting during all her free time in Cannon River.
That explains Pike, too, I realize. Lisbon has thought about her personal life, now that she has one, and decided she needs someone to share it with. He volunteered, and I didn't. Until now.
Her phone buzzes again. Pike is getting concerned. Well, he should be.
After my second cup of tea, I go back to check on Lisbon. She's restless, moaning a little and grimacing. Poor baby. I stroke her hair for a minute, then call her name gently. She needs to take the aspirin.
"Mmph," she protests as she wakes. "Jane?"
"I'm right here," I assure her. "Sit up for a second."
"Noo," she whines as I lift her up, settling her against my chest. She curls into me and snuffles, and I can't resist dropping a kiss into her tangled hair.
"Take this and you can go back to sleep," I tell her.
"Coffee," she mutters.
"After you drink your water." She doesn't move, so I slip the pill into her mouth and hold the glass to her lips. A few moans of protest later, she finally cooperates. "That's my girl. You'll feel better in a little bit." I hold her and rub her back, savoring the feel of her, a warm, soft weight against my chest. I push back the memories of holding my girls when they were sick and focus on the here and now. I have to start thinking about the future, not get stuck in my past. It's hard, though.
"Jane?" Her voice is whispery and a little slurred, and I know she's falling back to sleep, which is the best thing for her.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"I don' wanna wake up. Such a nice dream." She hums a little and rubs her cheek against my chest.
"You can have it again," I tell her, a little choked up at this evidence of her quiet longing. "Anytime you want."
I am a bastard. She wants so little and deserves so much, and I owe her everything but give her nothing. That changes now. She's my priority. I'm going to stop pretending not to care that she's seeing Pike. I'm going to show her that even though I'm a far cry from the man she deserves, I will take good care of her. I'll love her with everything I have left, give her everything I can, and hope it's enough for her. I'll let her try to fix me, and I'll protect her from the things that poke at her scars and feed her little compliments to plump up her poor starving heart.
Lisbon is back asleep, so I flip over her pillow and ease her gently down so her flushed cheek rests on its cool surface. Then I kiss her lips, still damp from the water, and go back to the couch so I don't disturb her. I know I won't sleep again, so I poke around and find a coffee table book tucked away on a shelf. It's full of photos of California, which makes me painfully nostalgic. I stare at the familiar bridge in Sacramento for a long time before I close the book and return it to the shelf. In doing so, I accidentally bump a box and have to catch it to keep it from sliding off its shelf.
Because it's not possible for me to hold a box and not open it, I lift the lid. Immediately I have to sit down, staring at my letters to Lisbon, all neatly folded, the edges worn from handling. The cowrie shell I sent her sits in the front, and I smile a little as I touch it. This box is where Lisbon keeps her memories of me. She's obviously read my letters repeatedly, perhaps imbuing them with more meaning than I intended.
Or perhaps not. I think back to those long, lonely days when these letters contained the only meaningful communication I had with anyone. I loved her then but couldn't express it from so far away, with our future so tenuous. I promised myself I'd tell her when I saw her again, but then I chickened out. I didn't want anything to interfere with getting her to the FBI, and then she read me the Riot Act about controlling her life. And then I was just enjoying having a life again, on the job with Lisbon and Cho, doing some good in the world solving crimes and deflating pompous assholes.
A knock on the door makes me jump, and I carefully put the letters back before peering through the peephole. Ah. Pike has made better time than I anticipated. I open the door with my most obnoxious smile.
"Agent Pike, good morning. Come in, come in. I was just about to make Lisbon some coffee for when she wakes up. Would you like some?"
Pike hesitates, then steps inside, looking awkward and flummoxed. "Uh, sure. Yes. If it's not too much trouble."
"Not at all. Sit; I'll bring it to you." I wave toward the couch and note the way his expression lightens as he takes in the crumpled throw and deduces I slept there and not with his girlfriend.
Emboldened, he follows me into the kitchen, standing in the doorway as I put the kettle on and turn on the coffeemaker. "I was thinking of breakfast. Have you eaten? I scramble a mean egg," I say.
"I'm not a big breakfast eater," he says. "So. Did Teresa call you last night? I wanted to see her home, but she wouldn't let me."
"No, she didn't call me. I stopped by to see her and we ended up having a late night snack." Because you failed to satisfy her appetite, I manage not to say. I'm not going to get into a contest with him. This is not a competition. This is a choice for Lisbon to make. Hers and hers alone.
"Oh." He hesitates, then says, "She told me you two were close. Good friends."
"We are."
"Been through a lot together. Partners. That's a special bond."
"It is."
"That's nice. That's good. I mean, everybody needs somebody to care about them."
"Absolutely. And Lisbon has a heart as big as Texas," I say. "She's a very special woman."
"Yes, she is," he agrees quickly.
I wonder what role he's assigning me here. Does he think I'm like a big brother he has to justify his intentions to? He seems to have dismissed any idea that I'm a rival for Lisbon's affections.
"I, uh, I didn't set out to get her drunk," he says.
Ah. Big brother it is. "I didn't think you did."
"I didn't know she didn't like French food. But I do now. Does, uh, does she like Greek?"
"Lisbon's taste buds were made in Chicago, with very little after-market modification," I tell him. "Though she's been known to eat sushi because she thought she had to after moving to California. Stick with barbecue, hamburgers, that kind of thing. Meat and potatoes. If you have to go upscale, stick to Italian or a steakhouse. Or Tex-Mex." If Lisbon decides to keep seeing him for a while, I don't want her to starve. And I don't want her getting drunk, either.
Pike smiles. "I'll do that. Thanks."
I pour him a cup of coffee and hand it to him, then busy myself with making my tea. Pike doesn't move. Doesn't he have somewhere else to be?
"I was really hoping to see her," he says finally. "Guess she's pretty wiped out. I didn't, uh, realize how affected she was until we were leaving."
Yes, Lisbon holds her liquor very well. "She's got a headache, but I got some aspirin down her a while ago. She hasn't been sick or anything."
"I'm glad to hear it. I—" He breaks off as sounds emerge from the bedroom.
Now I'm faced with a quandary. I can let Lisbon stumble out here as is and let her embarrassment drive a wedge between her and Pike, or I can give her some warning and save her an unpleasant moment. I know what she'd want, so I put down my tea cup and head for the bedroom with a fresh mug of coffee.
Lisbon is sitting up, rubbing at her eyes. She smiles when she sees me, melting my heart, and reaches for the coffee, making me smile. As she sips it, I say, "You have company."
"What?" Her pleasure in the coffee vanishes.
"Pike stopped by to check on you. He's in the kitchen having coffee."
Lisbon grimaces. "Sheep dip."
I chuckle. "I can get rid of him for you."
"No! No, don't," she says, looking as if she's afraid I might hypnotize him into walking off a cliff somewhere. "Just...stall him."
"Got it." I give her a smile she finds worrying and retreat as she flings the covers back and slides out of bed.
I'll never get tired of looking at those legs.
I go back to the kitchen and say, "She'll be right out. Going in late?"
"It's my day off," he replies. "I was hoping Teresa might want to do something."
Yeah, he's going to drive her into my arms with nearly no effort on my part, I realize. "I called her in sick, so she might," I say.
A minute later, Lisbon comes in, hair brushed and smelling of mouthwash, wrapped in a fluffy red robe. I relieve her of her empty coffee cup and refill it as she smiles at Pike. "Hi, Marcus. Um, did I thank you for dinner last night? It was really nice."
Pike smiles back. "Liar. You hated it. Sorry. Jane here set me straight on where to take you, so I promise to do better if you give me another chance."
I meet Lisbon's suspicious look with a bland smile, handing her the refilled coffee cup. She turns back to Pike and says, "Of course. Sorry I was such bad company."
"Never," he says.
Okay, this is getting too awkward even for me. I decide to bow out gracefully and return when Lisbon is alone so I can reiterate everything I said last night, which appears to have either not sunk in or been dismissed as a drunken dream.
"Hey," I say to get her attention. "I texted you in sick. I'm going to run home and get a shower. I'll stop by and check on you later, okay?" I step close and place my hands on her cheeks, making her eyes widen in alarm. But I resist the devil on my shoulder and tip her head forward to place my kiss on top of it.
Then I leave her to remember what I said to her last night and deal with Agent Morning Person. I'll check on her at lunchtime to make sure she eats something, and if her headache is gone, then we'll talk.
He's a nice guy, Pike. He might even be good for her with a little training. And if she really wants him, I'll help him learn to take better care of her. But I'm going to make sure she makes an informed choice, that she knows I'm available. Because I would really like to spend the rest of my life taking care of her, and I'm already fully trained.
And, immodest as it sounds, I rarely fail.
