"Barton?"

"Westen?"

"Tony!"

"Madeline?!"

"I'm surprised you remember me," said Madeline, lighting a cigarette, "we met once, 30 years ago."

"Mrs. Westen, please don't smoke in here," said Pepper. She had shown them to the living room, or at least a living room in the residential part of Stark Tower. The only Avengers currently present were Tony Stark himself and a young man sitting on the arm of a couch (right next to an unoccupied cushion) who Michael knew as Clint Barton and who, he realized, must be Hawkeye.

"What the hell are you doing here, Westen?" Clint asked.

"I could ask you the same thing. The last time I saw you, you swore you were never, ever, going to leave the Army."

"And the last time I saw you, you were getting ready to go skulking around in parts unknown. Times change."

"You know Hawkeye?" said Nate incredulously.

"I know Clint Barton, an upstart pain in my ass who is also, unfortunately, the most gifted sniper I have ever met."

"Better than you?"

"Not that you'd ever hear him admit it."

"We served together in Somalia in the early '90s."

"This just keeps getting more complicated." Sam remarked to no one in particular.

"Not that this isn't fascinating," said Tony, "but who are all you people?"

Madeline opened her mouth to answer, but before she said anything, a red haired woman came out of one of the innumerable doors connecting to the one they were in. She was still wearing a set of black satin pajamas, despite it being almost noon, but she was clearly wide awake. "Hey," she said, "what's with all the...Michael?!"
"Natalya..." Michael looked around the room, apparently trying to find cover.
"I don't know whether to kiss you or shoot you."
"I struggle with that decision every day," said Fiona nonchalantly, "and neither, he's mine. Michael," she added, "who is this?"
"Wait," said Clint, "Tasha, how do you know Westen?"
"Uh," Tony put in, "can we talk about how a one night stand from when I was in college is standing in my living room?"
Pepper appeared in the doorway. "Clearly you all," she paused, looking at the assembled multitudes, "have a lot to talk about. How about you do it in the kitchen, where there are things like chairs, and coffee."
"Coffee," said Tony.
"Do you have iced tea?"
"Certainly, Mr. Westen."
"Aren't you like, the CEO of Stark Industries?" asked Nate, "Why are you serving coffee?"
Pepper smiled brightly, "Did it occur to you that I like serving coffee?"
Nate blinked several times and then said, "No, no it didn't."
The kitchen contained a large table with chairs all around it, and everyone except Pepper sat down, including a man with glasses and a purple shirt, who entered the room wordlessly and sat down next to Tony. Pepper got coffee for everyone except Michael, and then poured Tony a glass of scotch as well.
"So, now will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Tony asked.
"Tony," said Madeline, "how much do you remember about the night we spent together?"
Tony glanced nervously at Pepper, and then at the man sitting next to him.
"What am I going to do," he asked, "get jealous?"
Tony laughed at that and seemed to relax a little, "Honestly...not a whole lot. I was pretty drunk. I remember you were hot, in a MILF sort of way. You were already gone when I got up in the morning, which made things simpler. What are you getting at here?"
"Well, six weeks after that I found out I was pregnant."
No one said anything for several seconds. Tony's eyes flicked back and forth between Michael, Nate, and Fiona. Clint pulled his legs up so he was more perching than sitting in his chair. Pepper looked inexplicably amused. Eventually Tony said "Please tell me it's not the tall, brooding one."
"It's not," said Nate, "it's me. Hi, I'm Nate."
"Hi..." said Tony, "so, who are all the rest of you?"
"This is Michael, Nate's older brother," said Madeline, "that's Fiona, Michael's girlfriend, and that's Sam, he's a friend of Michael's."
"I wasn't planning to bring them," Michael said, "it just sort of happened."
"Okay," said Tony, taking a sip of his scotch, "why should I believe you. You're not the first woman to tell me I fathered her illegitimate child."
"Why would I lie?!" asked Madeline, outraged, "It's not like I'm asking you for money, I just thought the two of you should meet, finally. You have a grandson now, too, you know."
"Tony," said Pepper, "she's telling the truth."
"Hang on a second...you knew about this?"
"Tony, it's my job to know about things like this."
"And you didn't tell me because..."
"What would you have done if I'd told you?"
"I would have..." he trailed off, "okay, good point."
"There's an easy way to settle this, " said the man in the purple shirt, "I can compare your DNA. With the equipment in the lab it'll only take about 30 minutes to run the test."
"Okay," said Tony and Nate at the same time.
"Now that's just creepy," said Sam.
"There is a real resemblance," said Fiona thoughtfully, "a certain rakish charm..."
"Bruce," said Natasha, who everyone had more or less forgotten was in the room, "why don't you take Nate and Tony up to the lab now."
Tony, Bruce, Pepper, Nate and Madeline all left the room.
"Okay, Michael," Natasha looked at him the way a cat looks out an open window at a bird, "we need to talk."