Thanks for all the comments, please continue R&R. For those unfamiliar with the books, Blair's mom, Eleanor, is not a fashion designer, but a wealthy socialite. She is married to a real estate developer, Cyrus Rose who has a son, Aaron, who is Blair's age. Blair also has a younger brother named Tyler, who to make it easier on me, does not make an appearance in this story. Cyrus and Eleanor have a daughter, Yale, who was born during Blair's senior year of high school. Serena is an actress, she starred in a movie at the end of the last book...this will be explained in more detail in coming chapters. Hope that catches everyone up, enjoy the story.

Rating: T to M, mostly for language

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, not the books, show nor songs.

Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter 2: jealousy, turning saints into the sea

Now they're going to bed,
And my stomach is sick,
And it's all in my head,
But she's touching his chest now,
He takes off her dress now,
Let me go...
And I just can't look...
It's killing me,
And taking control...

--The Killers

"So, Nate's back in town, huh?" She knew exactly why her friend of almost 25 years was calling her at exactly 5:35 AM, Pacific Standard Time. There could be no other reason, especially since Blair knew that she stayed up all night partying seven nights a week. But, this was crisis mode and she could picture it as if she was there in New York. The look of disbelief on Blair's face at Serena's question, and then anger as her mind started working out all of the reasons why Serena could have known Nate was back in town. She was always paranoid about their relationship, and she had a right to be, Serena and Nate had lost their virginity together, and then had slept together on several occasions when Nate was supposed to be with Blair.

Oops, their bad.

Blair's eyes would get squinty, and her cheeks would turn bright red as her nose started to flare. Before Blair started going apeshit, Serena appeased her, "My mother told me about the Captain. Was I right?" She heard Blair sigh on the other line. She was probably pacing the room.

Blair paced around the office space, kicking her shoes off. "Is it that obvious? What is wrong with me, Serena? I haven't seen Nate up close and alone like that in ten years, and in ten seconds he turns me into some sort of headcase."

"Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but you've always been a headcase…but you're our favorite headcase if that makes a difference." Serena smiled as she looked at a framed picture of Nate, Blair, and her on the bedside table. Blair's head was turned to the side, her lips in a pout, Nate was facing Serena, whose had was flipped back laughing, no doubt at something Nate had said.

"Gee, thanks. How are you not more surprised about this? He just waltzed back in, and thinks he can be a lead character when at best, he can only become a recurring character. What am I going to do, Serena? This pisses me off."

"But you're like really turned on at the same time, right? You know he does it for you." Serena tried to lighten to mood. Blair was positively manic, and it would do no good to fuel this aggression even more.

"I can't even like remember that far back," she snapped, "Anyway, I wish you could be here, I really need you. When are you coming home?" Blair's eyes darted around the office. She didn't want anyone to hear that she needed her best friend to lean on. She had three years of building a reputation as the biggest queen bitch of them all, and she would be damned if anyone saw her in any sort of sensitive, fuzzy bullshit state.

Not like anyone would mistake her for anything but a bitch anyway.

Serena yawned, she was getting bored of this conversation. "You know I'm in the middle of filming season. I promise though, when we get a break, I will come back for a weekend to see you. Anyway, you should come to visit me. LA is really beautiful this time of year…actually, it is beautiful all the time."

"Ugg…and contend with sunshine and driving and traffic? Please."

Serena sighed. There was no changing Blair, not one bit. "B, you know this is no big deal. Fuck Nate, he is the one who missed out on the last ten years. His loss, he should be so lucky for you to even talk to him. I gotta go, but we'll talk later, k? Love ya."

Serena felt slightly guilty not telling Blair the entire truth. But she knew that if Blair knew, there was no telling what physical harm she would impart on Serena , especially now that she was so skilled with a scalpel. And in Hollywood, Serena needed her good looks, so sometimes it was best to keep the past in the past.

Blair stared at the phone. She wasn't stupid. Maybe it was because she didn't ask how Nate was or how Nate looked after all these years apart or perhaps it was the quickness with which Serena told Blair to dismiss him, but Blair knew something was up. She may have turned slightly soft during these ten years, but the feelings of jealousy and distrust found their way back into B's heart. And baby, were they back with a vengeance.

--

Blair stretched out her arms and inhaled deeply. She finished dictating the last clinic note of the day and she was finally free to think about the events of the day, or rather the event of the day. Before today, Blair enjoyed her life. She would even say she was content. After Nate left, Blair went off to Yale just as she planned. She excelled in all of her classes, and she even graduated a year early. But college hadn't only been about studying and taking tests, Blair's social calendar was always full of dates from guys who worshipped her. She might have even started getting over him, so she gave in and liked some of the boys back. And since Serena wasn't around, Blair had the spotlight all to herself, and she basked in it. She regained all of the power she had craved, only to realize that she didn't need it to measure her self-worth after all.

Medical school years were slightly more difficult, but Blair had been unconsciously preparing herself for it her whole life. Not only did she possess the knowledge and skills to become a doctor, but she had always been obsessively detail oriented. Her family also moved back from the West Coast, allowing her to become closer to her little sister, who was everything to her. She was busy, but she had the support from her family and friends, so she thrived. Blair may have even grown a bit more compassionate during these years, even though she had no one to share her love with. Don't get me wrong, she was still as ruthless as ever. She instilled fear into most men, even making some of her attending physicians cry at her mercy. But, as fate would have it, she found the perfect way to channel all of that energy and aggression.

Surgery, Plastics to be more specific. It was all about perfection, aesthetics, and control. The role of the surgeon was a role she was born to play. She was now a third-year resident in one of the best Plastic Surgery programs in the nation, and she was good at what she did. She was known to be precise, intense, and relentless in her pursuit of perfection. She had earned the respect of her fellow residents and attendings, and scared the shit out of any hospital employee daring to cross her.

Blair lived in the city she loved, in a gorgeous townhome on the UES that had been a present from Cyrus and her mother upon graduating from Yale medical school. She had some good friends, and was still involved in New York society functions, when she wasn't trapped in the hospital.

The point was, that even without Nate, Blair's life was still like a modern day fairy-tale that any girl would love to live. Yes, she worked way more than the allotted eighty hours a week, but she liked it. She liked it because the more she worked, the less she thought about the emptiness in her heart that had once been filled by a certain someone.

--

She walked through the halls of the hospital. Even though it was 6 PM, the halls were still busy with people. The hospital never slept. And neither did she, or so it felt. Her feet ached, her voice was hoarse, and her eyes were shutting as she walked, but there was one last person she had to see.

She knocked gently, and poked her head into the room.

"Captain." His eyes fluttered open, and he smiled widely at her.

"Blair, come here, sweetheart." He opened his arms to her, and she leaned down to hug him. This was strange, but it felt okay to do after all these years. "Nate told me you had been by."

"I apologize I couldn't stay for long, busy day. How are you feeling?" She sat at the edge of his bed. Even after seven years of medical training and counting, it was still hard to see someone she had once been close to in the hospital.

"Better than yesterday. I had my test this morning, they said the ejection fraction wasn't very good." Blair nodded, she'd already looked up the report, "wasn't very good" was putting it mildly.

"Luckily, CHF is a very treatable disease. I'm sure the cardiologists have you on all of the right medications, and they've probably thrown some more in for good measure." She smiled weakly, trying to make light of the serious situation.

"I think I'll be okay. But what about you? Little Blair Waldorf, a doctor. I can't even imagine!"

"I know, all grown up, right? I'm sorry we grew out of touch, but with my parents moving to California, Yale, and then medical school, I haven't really kept in touch with that many people around here."

"Well, you know you've always had a special place in our hearts. You were very special to Nate and us. I'm just sorry it didn't work out the way it was supposed to. He was a fool to let you go." She smoothed out the blankets on the bed. This was getting too awkward for her liking, and she had to escape. She began to stand up, but the Captain grabbed her hand and jerked it back. Blair looked at him in surprise. "Blair, I may not have much time left. I just want Nate to be happy."

"I'm not sure what this has to do with me or my situation, sir, but Nate has not been a part of my life in some time now. Our involvement ended a long time ago, and we've both grown up and we've both moved on…now, I hate to cut our reunion short, but I have to get going. I'll see you tomorrow…and if there are any problems, just drop the name Blair Waldorf and I'm sure people will hasten their step in fear," she said as calmly as she could muster.

"Brutal as ever, Blair." She was sure he was referring to their entire exchange.

"You know I learned from the best. Take care, sir." Blair teetered out of the room on her last tank of gas, and made her way to the car that was waiting. And there it was, waiting to take her home to the empty house that she lived in alone. She took out her cell phone, and punched in the speed dial.

"Hey, what's up?" he answered, slightly perturbed she was interrupting him, but yet slightly excited to hear from her.

"You won't believe who I ran into today…"

--

Nate sat in his room, looking at the old lacrosse plaques and awards. He had not really spent a lot of time in this room since high school, specifically since the week he left to sail around the world. There was a pile of pictures left from when he and Serena created the slideshow for Blair's graduation party or more notably, the night he had sex with Serena again. He threw the pictures on top of his bed, and opened his dresser drawer, looking for one item in particular. He pulled out the moss green sweater and cuffed the left sleeve over, finding the tiny gold heart Blair had so painstakingly sewn in. She had complained that she stuck herself with the needle several times while trying to sew that damn thing it, and he'd not even shown any sort of gratitude towards the gesture or the girl. She had always left him little presents like that, slipping love notes into his gym bag, a cupcake in his locker, or silk boxers on his bed. He missed it.

His phone rang, and he shook his head reading the caller ID. "You know, I was just thinking about you."

"Oh yeah? Feeling very nostalgic today, are we, Natie?"

"You've talked to her, I presume."

"Of course, we're still besties...and you know, you can say her name now. It's okay."

He ignored her. "So, what'd she say. Did she ask about me?"

"Not so much, she just kind of mentioned that she saw you."

"Really? And?"

"And that's it, really. I do think the secret's out though, Nate." Serena fibbed a little bit, she didn't want to make Blair come off as too desperate, since she was also sort of hiding something from her best friend of almost 25 years.

"Did you tell her?" his voice was slightly annoyed.

"No, but I'm guessing a 4.0 from Yale means that you're fairly good at thinking out problems and figuring out solutions….and she, she is good at figuring things out."

Yes, she was, and there was no telling what kinds of elaborate scenes Blair was cooking up in her mind even as they spoke.