Disclaimer: Fine I don't own Vampire Knight! Are you happy now?! But can I have Zero?!
A/N: Wow thanks to everyone that reviewed/subscribed to my first chapter!!! I hope that in the future I will get as much support. I'll try to post at least once a month maybe more if I can be creative. And just as a warning…….MY GRAMMAR IS CRAP! So if you see anything that sounds or looks totally wack chances are it is so please please tell me! Anyway on with the show! _
Chapter 2: What does it all mean?
Yuuki's POV
"The only time I can touch her is when I drink her blood."
"Zero," I grabbed his hand "what did that mean?"
He looked so worn lying there, with tubes protruding from his skin.
"Yuuki you should go rest, someone will come get you once he wakes up." Father put his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm fine."
"Can I at least bring you something to eat?"
"Onigiri would be nice. Thank you. And some strawberry milk."
"Of course. I'll be back in a moment." He paused at the doorway "Yuuki? It's going to be alright you know. Zero has been through much worse and still came out of it okay." And then he left.
Of course he's been through worse. I heard what he said. His mother, father, Ichiru his brother, were killed by the same vampire that created him. He resisted the change for over 4 years. And when he did finally cave in—
I gripped his hand tighter "I don't care Zero. It was my choice to let you drink my blood…because I don't want to lose you."
"Yuuki! My beautiful daughter! Daddy has made the most delectable rice balls with all the love in his heart!" I heard Father sing, although he was terrible off tune.
And in came my adoptive Father, the Headmaster of Cross Academy and ex-vampire Hunter. Complete with a plate of onigiri perched on his head and juggling three cartons of strawberry milk while he flamboyantly sang "You are My Sunshine."
I blinked "Father you know I love you…but sometimes I wonder." I gave him a lopsided grin.
"Laughter my Yuuki is the best medicine. And sitting quietly will only make you feel sleepy." He tossed the milk cartons onto my lap before placing the plate on the bedside table. "I had though you would have wanted to keep an all night vigil. Anyways I brought you the Artimis staff. He wouldn't forgive himself if he were to attack you again."
"Then why do you have that!" I waved at the needle, refusing to look at the bag itself. Unlike the usual clear serums this bag was filled with blood, continually trickling into Zero's body. "And I don't need this!" I grabbed the staff on my lap and threw it across the room, where it landed with a muffled crack on the carpet.
"If Zero needed blood I would let him bite me! He's the only person that has ever needed anything from me. Besides that won't even happen. Isn't that why he's hooked up to the IV in the first place!"
Father was taken aback by me sudden angry outburst, but his eyes were shining. He pulled me close.
"I'm proud of you Yuuki. So very proud of you for trusting him so much. But you mustn't be reckless. I'm sure if Zero were awake he'd agree with me."
Father let me go and went over to pick up the staff. Opening the small drawer in the bedside table, that had the plate of onigiri on it, he withdrew Zero's Bloody Rose. He put the staff in its place and tucked the gun into his pocket.
"I'll do patrol tonight. Smelling Zero's blood must have perked their interest. I'll come by to check on you two in the morning. Oh and try not to snore, Zero needs his rest." He chuckled softly as he shut the door behind him.
"That's his gift." I turned to Zero's sleeping figure "he knows how to distract a person from the seriousness. He's like a little kid sometimes, always bouncing around. And then all of a sudden he gets all mature. I'm lucky he took me in. But I was so lonely, with no one to play with. Kaname-sempai came by whenever possible but he was always so aloof. Sempai always treated me kindly but when he left I felt even lonelier.
And then you showed up. This quiet boy, with haunted eyes covered in blood. You looked so forlorn, so fragile. I always felt clumsy and loud around you when you first came and I still feel that way sometimes."
I reached over and brushed the hair off his face, my hand lingered on his tattoo.
"And you hated vampires with a passion. You were so cold to Sempai, I never really understood why. This tattoo, I thought it meant that you were a delinquent that would leave me. And that gun, I hated that gun when you first got it. I didn't like the idea that Zero would be violent."
I sat down and held his hand again.
"And then there are things about you that let me see you. Even though you think that you aren't Zero anymore others know better. Like that horse Lily she knows too, she know that Zero is still Zero and she adores you. And you spend hours with me trying to tutor me. I always felt so special when you were so mean to the Day Class girls, when you would smile at me. I guess I kinda, I mean I--"
Knock. Knock.
In spite of what I had said to father I grabbed that staff from the drawer before I went to answer the door, I opened it warily.
"Yuuki. May I come in?"
"Kaname-sempai!" I grinned happily "Of course."
He walked gracefully to the foot of Zero's bed; he turned to look at me. "Aren't you going to close the door?" his eyes sparkled.
I blushed embarrassed to have been caught staring, and hurried to close the door.
"What happened to your hands Yuuki?" his gaze never wavered.
I was taken aback "My hands?"
"Yes." He came towards me. "What on earth did you do to your hands?" he held my hands ever so gently, yet it made my heart race. "You have the most beautiful hands." He came closer, his breath ghosting past my face "You must learn to be more careful." He pressed his lips cautiously to my hands, my heart stopped.
And then eternity ended. He was an arms width away. His eyes a mixture of sorrow and yearning.
"My hands." I said it again.
I looked at my hands, not sure what was so wrong. And then I saw the reason for Kaname's reaction. Blood, my blood, coloring dozens of fine hair like scrathces. They peppered my hands and worked their way up to my elbows. It was as if I had been cut by thousands of sheets of paper or shards of glass. Glass.
"I guess when I was cleaning the glass away I forgot to put of gloves. I wasn't paying attention." My words sounded slow and disjointed. Unsurprising considering most of my mind was still unable to think clearly. OhMyGod!OhMyGod!HeKissedMe!Kaname-sempaiKissedMe!
He chuckled halfheartedly "Yuuki, My Yuuki; cutting up her hands, crying for him." He rushed at me again burying his face in my hair. "Aren't I enough? You know I would do anything for you. Please depend on me, only me. Don't let him bite you anymore. I can't stand that he can touch you, that he can take something from you. You can't love him, it would kill me if you loved him over me. Haven't I been with you longer, saved you when we first meet?"
My heart fell in on itself, crushed and bleeding.
"Kaname-sama. I can't do what you ask. I can't give on Zero. I can't abandon him." I pushed away from him and stumbled towards the window. "I want so badly to believe you Kaname-sama. I'm just like the rest of the Day Class, I've always wanted to be loved by Kaname-sama. But I can't believe you. You ask me to give up Zero after everything that has happened. Kaname-sama, Father, Zero that is all I have. Yes you did save me from that vampire and yes you did bring me here. I love Kaname-sama, but I can not give up Zero. You know that I can't remember why I was outside in the snow that night. That is why every memory of being safe, of being loved is so precious. That is why I can't give up my important people, I might forget them if I don't keep them close.
I saw that day, My First Memory. And Kaname; the red--so vivid against the pure white. The Headmaster adopted me, he became Father. But as I relearned how to dress, to use large word, I relearned fear. I was scared of monsters, vampires haunted my nightmares. But never Kaname, I had no room left in my heart to fear Kaname. I was too busy missing him.
He changed the subject "There are other ways to push back the insanity." he looked at me meaningfully "Besides drinking from you."
"But Shiuzaka died that night. I saw her shatter." what other way was there?
"If a made vampire." he nodded to Zero "were to drink from a pureblood...it wouldn't be a permanent cure but...it wouldn't wear off quickly either."
Why was he telling me this only now? I've been letting Zero drink my blood, but that was putting him in danger with the Council. And all this time Kaname knew what I was doing but wasn't offering his help.
"I don't mean cure as to say he won't feel the thirst--he'll still desire blood but--he won't fall to insanity as quickly as the rest of his kind." He took a few tentative steps forward, his eyes wary on the staff that hung on my belt. "I'm not so sure the effects will last. Maybe a few months of a few years."
"What do you mean 'how much longer'? You haven't let him drink from you have you? But why? Why tell me to give up on him, because it was useless, after you did that?"
"I saved him because he is a good shield, because he will protect you. And because he could taste it in my blood. He could taste my determination to be your only one. He knows now that I will do anything for you. Even kill a pureblood."
"A pureblood?" What would a pureblood have to do with me? Kaname was the only pureblood that I had ever met. The rest were in in places of power controlling the nobility. Shiuzaka was the-- "You killed her? You killed her even though you knew that it was the only way to save Zero, and when they accused Zero you did nothing! Why?"
"Because the conditions she laid out would require her to drink from you before she would help. And then you would become a vampire, you weren't ready for that yet. And it is very possible that Zero will never fall to level E. If for example Zero were to drink from his brother, to drain him dry. Then he would finally be complete."
"What are you saying, kill his brother? Kaname--kill his brother? Me leave Zero? Do you hat Zero that much?" I sounded shrill and my voice kept cracking.
"Of course I hate him." He came closer "I hate anyone that comes near you. Yuuki is mine, you were always mine."
And the he kissed me, kissed my tears.
I can't breathe . It's perfect, Kaname loves me, and he wants to protect me. But is to perfect, to fluid.
Shut up! I shouted to the whispers. I've always wanted this, now that it has finally happened why are you questioning it?
Kaname had stopped kissing me, I didn't notice. I was trembling so hard, and my body felt so heavy and cold.
Will you be willing to gain this at the expanse of losing others? Will you give up everything you know just to be with Kaname? He'll turn you into a Vampire and then you memories will return. What if you weren't ever suppose to see those memories.
My vision was swimming and my ears were filled with the sounds of screams.
I don't care, they are My memories I should have them regardless. And what is so wrong with being a vampire?
So much blood—No Mother don't go away—they'll kill you.
Nothing is wrong with being a vampire. But what about Zero?
He'll be fine, and even if he doesn't like it a first he will get over it eventually. We will be around for an eternity after all.
Yes he will get over your decision of becoming a Vampire. But will he be able to survive without you by his side--with you be Kaname Kuran's side?
"Oh Yuuki. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I pushed you too far." There it was again. That mixture of longing and sorrow. Why were his emotions so raw tonight?
"I—Kaname I don't want pain. Blood so much blood. Scary, brother it is so scary."
"Sleep. In the morning this won't even be a dream."
Erase my memory? No I don't want to forget anything even the nightmares. I just want to know who I am.
