Disclaimer: I don't own any part of The OC.

A/N-Sorry this took me forever and a day to update. My other stories and school work kind of pushed this one to the back burner. Hopefully people still like it though. Oh yea, there's a flashback in here (as I seem to really enjoy those), that part is in italics. Enough rambling, thanks to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate it, and thanks to Meg for editing.


Always Love

Seth rolled over onto his stomach, looking at the clock next to his bed. He sighed. He didn't want this day to come.

As of today, Summer had been dead for a year.

His eyes rested on the empty spot next to him. He had to tear his eyes away quickly because despite the fact that he had been looking at it for a year, it didn't hurt any less than the first day.

Today everything hurt even more because it was not only the anniversary of her death but it was Grace's first birthday.

He wished she had lived to see Grace grow up. For a one year old, she had a lot of spunk and reminded him so much of Summer already. She would have loved having her own 'mini-me'.

He sighed as he decided to get out of bed. Not that he really had any reason to get out of bed. Taylor and Ryan had taken James, Cooper, and Grace for the night. It wasn't really Seth's idea, he actually would have rather had them home. He had a difficult time doing anything the previous night without his kids to distract him. He liked his little distractions. Stupid Taylor thinking that he would rather be alone.

He rolled out of bed and walked the bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He flipped on the light in the room and looked in the mirror. He jumped a foot when he did, swearing that he saw Summer there. He blinked several times before looking again. Her image was not there, but his heart hadn't stopped the pounding that it had started. He turned the light back off and went into his room.

His eye caught the bed again. The image of her was brought up once again and he couldn't shake it. He wondered how he was going to get through the day.


After three hours of seeing her everywhere, he felt like he was going insane. Everywhere he looked, there she was.

It wasn't like he didn't want to remember her. That was the last thing he wanted to do on the anniversary of her death. He just didn't want to think of that particular day again. He tried to avoid all thoughts of it. The last thing that he wanted to do was slip into the person he was over those few days. He didn't want to once again be the guy who neglected his children, who felt like he couldn't see the good in life.

He sighed, knowing that this was going to be something that he had to do. As much as he wanted not to, he had to think of that day.


Seth stretched, yawning loudly as he got out of bed. He was nearly crushed by his sons chasing one another down the hallway when he walked out of his room. He shook his head at the fight the two were having over some toy. He continued walking downstairs where Summer was standing at the stove, making breakfast for everyone.

"Morning Summer," he greeted her with a quick kiss. He then gave her round stomach a kiss too. "Morning baby."

Summer just smiled at Seth. He went and took a seat at the table, picking up the newspaper. Summer sat down with him, stealing the Arts and Leisure section from him, despite the fact that he had just started to read a very interesting article in it. It was their morning routine, as embarrassed as they both were to have a morning routine sometimes. Really though, only when someone stopped by early in the morning (like Ryan did often when Taylor was pregnant to escape her occasional wrath) that they even noticed that they had a morning routine to be embarrassed about.

They sat in comfortable silence, Seth settling for the Sports section, despite the fact that he didn't get half of the stuff that was stated. All of the other news was either depressing or boring so he settled for confusion.

The phone started ringing and before Seth could jump to pick it up for Summer like he usually would-he liked doing little things for her as frustrated as she became with him-she got it. Before really starting the conversation, she looked at Seth.

"Could you go and get the boys? Breakfast is almost ready," she whispered, then turned her attention back to the phone.

Seth put down the paper and headed back upstairs. He smiled to himself, thinking of how incredibly lucky he was to have his family. Summer was wonderful and James and Cooper were the best two kids he could have asked for. He couldn't wait for their third child to be born. Both he and Summer were hoping for a girl, as that would just complete their family.

He went into James's room where he could hear them continuing their argument from earlier. When he entered the room he noticed right away that Cooper was crying-something the five year old tried very hard to not do now that he was a 'big kid' in kindergarten.

"What's wrong Coop?" Seth asked, immediately going to his youngest son.

"James-he-he said that you and Mommy." The sobs overtook the little boy, shaking his whole body, making him unable to speak.

Seth turned his gaze to look at James, who was looking at the floor, an attempt at innocence on his face.

"James, what did you tell your brother?"

"Nothing," James said, trying to keep the air of innocence about him. He wasn't succeeding very well.

"H-he told me that y-you and Mommy w-won't l-love me anymore!" Cooper wailed, finally able to get the words out of his mouth.

"You told him what James?" Seth asked, taking Cooper into his lap, fixing a gaze on James.

James just shrugged. "I just told him that when the new baby came that you and Mom wouldn't have as much time for him and that you wouldn't love him as much."

Seth sighed. The things that James came up with to torment his brother were never-ending, especially things involving the new baby. Just last week he had told Cooper that they were going to get rid of him when the baby was born, as that was what parents did whenever a new baby was born. He basically told him that he was getting exchanged for a new one. That did not sit well with Cooper at all.

"Cooper, it's not true. Your Mom and I will love you just as much as we always have."

"A-and you're not g-gonna make me w-work?" Cooper sniffled a little.

Seth gave his elder son another glare, once again just receiving a little shrug. "Of course not. If we would make anyone work it would be James. After all he is the oldest one."

This brought a smile to Cooper's face and a frown to James's. Seth just shook his head, then lifted Cooper off of his lap.

"Okay, I was sent up here to get you guys for breakfast."

Before he had even completed the sentence, they had darted out of the room. Obviously all of their arguing had made them work up an appetite. He followed them to the kitchen, where Summer was no longer on the phone and had all their places set, plates stacked with food on the table.

"Who was on the phone?" Seth questioned as he sat down.

"Taylor. She's having a mini-crisis. Apparently Micah has been crying all night and she hasn't gotten any sleep. She wants us to come over for a little while so she can try to get some sleep."

"How about just you and James go? I think that Cooper and James need a little time away from each other."

"What did you tell Coop now James?" Summer asked.

"How come I am immediately accused?" James asked.

"Because he is five and you have been teasing him mercilessly since he was born," Seth supplied.

"I think that's a good idea. James we have to go and get you new sneakers anyways," Summer said.

"But Mooomm."

"Not buts. You need them, those ones are falling apart."

"I get to spend the day with Daddy?" Cooper asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes you do."

"Can we play video games?" he questioned, practically bouncing up and down in his seat from the excitement. "Like the ninja one?"

"Sure we can play the nin-," he looked at Summer who was shaking her head. Right. He forgot that the whole violence in video games was a bad thing. "No. Sorry Coop. We can play the racecar one though."

Cooper's face fell, until he caught his father's eye. Seth winked at him, letting him know that they would play the ninja game. He perked up slightly after that.

The rest of breakfast was spent like a normal Cohen breakfast-lots of confusing chatter that didn't make much sense at all. Finally, when they were finished, Summer and James got ready to leave.

"Bye Cohen," Summer said. "See you later. Movie night's tonight, don't forget to get-"

"Little Women, I know, I know. I love you." He gave her a long kiss, finally broken by the chorus of 'ews' coming from their sons.

Summer smiled at him. "I love you too." She gave him one more quick peck on the cheek. "Come on James, let's go."

Seth watched them leave, a smile on his face. He really did have an amazing family.


Seth thought back to that day, how less than half a day later he had gotten news of the car accident.

He wiped the tears that had come from his eyes. He missed her so damn much, it hurt sometimes. There were some days when he would wake up and see no sleeping form next to him and he just didn't think he could go on. Even seeing Grace's smiling face that looked like Summer's own or looking at James and Cooper and seeing some aspect of her there. Those were the worst days. It was like she was there in ways but not how he wanted her to be.

There was another thing that he wanted to do. Suddenly, he was glad that Taylor and Ryan had taken the kids for the day. This was something he wanted to do uninterrupted.

He went into his bedroom and bent down under the bed, pulling out a box. He had shoved this box underneath the bed immediately after her death, not opening it since. It was filled with pictures, some of her clothing, and some other small reminders of her. It wasn't everything of her-there were various other spots with things of hers.

He slowly opened the lid. He was greeted by her face-bright and shining, a large smile on it. He felt a small pang in his heart-this was the first time he had really looked at her picture. He had taken most of them down from the house, the only ones really left out were the ones in James and Cooper's rooms. Even then, he somehow managed to ignore the pictures, never glancing at them.

Now though, he realized how stupid this was of him. Sure, he had a perfect mental image of her in his mind-he would never be able to forget her. He just needed to see her face, to see it in a time that she was happy. More often than not, the image he had of her was the one where she was in the hospital.

He sifted through the box. There were various pictures that he had forgotten had even existed. Some were even from their days together in high school-he was certain that had been Summer's doing of saving them, he would have never remembered to save them. There were ones of them with James and Cooper, ones of them from vacations they had taken, and ones that were just pointless. He loved every last one. Each and every one had a story behind it, of something silly they had done together or something Summer had done.

He found some more things of hers, not just pictures. The necklace that had broken the morning of her accident, the shampoo bottle that was still half filled. He had other random things, all reminders of her.

He didn't know how long he looked through the box, but he knew it was a while. He studied every single item inside thoroughly, thinking of her. It was hard but it was good for him at the same time. He needed this.

He slowly started to place the lid back on the box, then hesitated. He picked up a framed picture, one that had been on their bedside table for all the years they had been together. It was of them on their wedding day. Summer had looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her before. It had always been his favorite picture of her. They both looked truly happy.

He placed the picture slowly on the same spot it had been all the years before. It looked like it belonged there more than any replacement item he had tried to use to fill the spot.

Tears fell down his cheeks as he rubbed his thumb over the picture. He stared at it for a few more minutes before completing his task of putting 'The Summer Box' away.

He stood up, wiping his eyes. It was almost time to go to get James, Cooper, and Grace. He had to stop thinking of the memories and go on with his life. Next year on this same exact date he would let himself think of her like this.

Before he headed out of the door, he looked at the picture once more. He was glad to have put it there. Her smile made him smile.

"I love you Summer," he whispered.

They were words that he had not spoken in a year. He had missed saying those words. He was still in love with her. He knew he always would be. No matter if she was dead or alive, no one could take her place in his heart.