Disclaimer……….. All characters are the copyright of JK Rowling

One word

Hermione cried like she had never cried before. She sat up naked in her bed, her breast that had been awaiting his touch bounced gently in time with her sobs, her body that just moments ago had been full of desire for him was now cringing, her heart that had loved him for so long, now filled with fear of losing what she had so desperately wanted and longed for, for so many years. The realisation of just how badly she had screwed things up, hit her in her heart like a speeding bullet. "I'm in love with you, no one else matters," she sobbed.

"I can't do this," he said as tears ran freely down his face.

She was at a loss, with all the brain power she possessed she had not foreseen the scene that was now playing out in front of her. A sudden popping sound brought her from her mindless search for unseen answers in the unused bed sheets, she looked up but he was gone, and her heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

Thoughts of the past flew through her mind, thoughts of how she had hidden her feelings for him for so long, now stabbed at her already breaking heart.

She remembered all the things he had done to show her he cared, things that had she looked just a little closer would have proved his real love for her, but she had refused to accept those things were anything but the acts of a best friend, a best friend she was no longer sure she had. Memories of his words that night echoed painfully through her mind.

"I've always loved you, when he humiliated you or called you names, I was always there for you. When he argued with you and made you cry, I was always there for you. When he hurt you, I was there for you. I never belittled you. I never tried to anger you. I always told you how great you are, I was always there for you. I tried to show you how much I cared. Yet you chose him, you chose him without a thought to my feelings, you kissed him and held him even when he hurt you, and it broke my heart each time. All I ever did was to show you love, and you ignored it. You chose him to give your body too. You chose him to take away your innocence. How am I supposed to get past that, if he were some one I don't know, it might have been ok, but how can I do this while you compare me with him."

For the first time in her life she wished with all that was in her that she could turn back time, to call back the one word that had just shattered her life. She knew the minute she heard him leave he would never come back. She had broken his heart with just one simple word, one slip of her stupid tongue. She cursed the day she ever heard that word.

She saw her memories of him, the times he had so often saved her life, memories of the times he had sat keeping a vigil at her bedside. The times when she had been injured and he had always been the first one to help her or to take her to the hospital wing. She remembered the tears in his eyes when ever she was hurt, she remembered the look of love and tenderness in his eyes when he had consoled her so very often. All the signs of his love were there but she had ignored them, and now when she had discovered the truth he was gone, she might never see him again.

She remembered the happiness of every day of the past month, from the day he had finally said the words she longed to hear "I love you, I always have,"

She remembered the blissful days when they had held hands kissed and fondled each other, the entire month had been her dreams come true, she was with the man she loved at long last, in the arms she had so often dreamt of holding her. She remembered the love that had filled every minute she had spent with him in the last four wonderful weeks, and the warm embraces that said so much more than words could, and now it had all collapsed around her.

She remembered the evening, how they had shared food from each others forks, how they had laughed and smiled, how he had walked her home and the fluttering feelings she had had when she invited him in. She remembered how that night she had wanted to make love with a passion she had never felt before. She knew he was the one, that making love with him was going to be right. She remembered his nervousness and his embarrassment when he admitted he had never slept with anyone before. She remembered the warm feeling she had felt when she realised he had saved himself because he loved her, the over powering feeling of love she felt to know she was the reason he never dated anyone else.

Then she remembered that stupid word. She wondered how the fates could be so cruel, how could her own tongue have turned her dreams into a nightmare she could see no way out off.

That word, it was a word she had used since she was eleven, a word she had shouted, sometimes yelled, some times said in tenderness, sometimes she had said it in fear, sometimes whispered, but saying it tonight had been a simple stupid mistake. A mistake that had devastated him, and she knew it was the word that had just demolished her world. It was a word she said so often it just slipped off her tongue without thought.

Her breaking heart showed her memories of how they had kissed so passionately her knees had become weak, pictures of their slow and oh so passionate journey to her bedroom, pictures of him gently laying her on the bed, filling her entire being with a longing for him, and then the pictures of him bending to remove his shoes, socks, then his jeans.

She remembered thinking of the silencing and locking charms and then the words she had spoken, just the one left her lips, but it was too late when she stopped herself, he had heard. She had just wanted to tell him to come to bed but she had said that word, the word that was now the worst word in any language.

Suddenly she knew what she had to do, she did not care now if she made him feel foolish, she did not care if he or she got embarrassed, and she wanted him so much, loved him so fiercely she could not, would not let him go.

Harry sat watching the lights twinkling in the warm night air away in the distance, distance that made them twinkle, or maybe it was the tears that made them twinkle. 'Why did she have to call me Ron?' he thought.

A slight pop and a rustling behind him made him turn around. Hermione sat next to him wrapped only in her bed sheet.

"I knew I'd find you here, I want to finish saying what I started to say, I knew as soon as the word left my lips that you had got the wrong idea," she said quietly

"How can-," he began but she put her finger on his lips to stop him saying what she knew was on his mind.

"It seems a little odd to say it out here in the park, but never the less you need to here me finish," she looked him in the eye, willing him to remain quiet.

"So as I was about to say, Ron might come looking for you, so will you cast a silencing and locking charm," she smiled a little "it does sound rather odd out here in the open. I'm going home now, I'll be there when you have thought it over," she said rising and then vanishing with a pop.

Hermione sat on the edge of her bed; tears once more ran down her face and she hoped and prayed it had worked because she had never lied to Harry before, but she had not saved herself for him all these years to lose him now. Not because of one stupid word.