Hello CrazyBug

Today was the day! He was going to talk to Marinette like a normal person. That was his goal. Sweeping her off her feet was a little too much to hope for, but he could at least just say 'good morning Marinette' without tripping all over himself.

"Good morning, Marinette. Good morning, Marinette. Good morning, Marinette," he chanted to himself outside the classroom. If he said it enough times, it would probably turn into muscle memory. Hopefully. "Good morning, Marinette."

"Adrien, something wrong?" a voice called behind him, making him jump. Adrien spun around and found Marinette and Alya staring at him.

"G-g-g-good morning, Nettemari!" he stammered, his face flushing. That wasn't fair! He was startled! Caught off guard!

"Good morning, Pretty Boy," Marinette replied cheerfully, sidestepping around him to head into class. Alya cast him an exasperated look, before she sighed and shook her head. She followed her bestie into class.

Whhhhyyyy? Adrien cursed, letting his head thump against the doorframe.

Ivan's large frame came up beside him. He gave Adrien a sympathetic look and a commiserating pat on the shoulder before he entered the class. The blond couldn't help a weak smile. Well, it was nice that someone else around here understood what he was going through.

Of course, Ivan had the advantage of his Clumsy Girl coming to the rescue.

Adrien paused. Wait a minute. Waaait a minute. He never had problems talking to Ladybug. Not even once. Not even that one time that he met her as Adrien ages ago. ...Granted, he didn't actually talk to her at the time, but he was sure that he wouldn't have stumbled! She was his Clumsy Girl, his Klutz, his CrazyBug! Someone whom he'd regarded as a sister for nearly a year! Surely he could tap into that (in the least pseudo-semi-incestuous way possible) and talk to her like a normal person!

Right. All he had to do was to get Marinette to meet him as Ladybug. Maybe that would finally break this stupid curse!

However, later on when he proposed this idea to Ladybug as the pair of them went on patrol that night, he hit a tiny snag in this plan.

"...Why?" his Clumsy Girl asked, giving Chat Noir a frown.

"Uhhm..." the black cat replied, at a complete loss. He had been assuming that his girlfriend with her good heart and generally sweet demeanor, would simply just go with the idea. "W-well, he's a fan of yours and wants to meet you," he replied smoothly. "Aren't you two classmates? I'm sure that it would make his day."

Ladybug narrowed her eyes. "I thought you didn't like Adrien," she said suspiciously.

"What? Me? I never said that!" Chat cried in outrage.

A pause.

"...Okay, I might have implied it once or twice," he relented, taking a sudden interest in his claws.

"Chat Noir, I caught you throwing darts at his face once, calling him the most spineless, good-for-nothing imbecile on the face of the planet," the superheroine reminded him tartly.

It had been one of his weaker moments. Ladybug did not approve (which was awfully sweet of her).

"W-well, that was incredibly offensive of me and I regret it," the black cat replied with a helpless shrug. "I feel terrible and I need to make it up to him. So, the best thing I can think of is to have his favorite superhero~" he winked and nudged his girlfriend with an elbow, "go and pay him a visit."

However, it seemed like his Klutz was in some kind of mood, because she simply glared at him. "I'm not here to fix your guilty feelings, Chat Noir. If you feel that bad about it, then you can go and figure out how to make amends to him yourself!"

Damn it!

When straight up asking Ladybug didn't work, Adrien moved onto Plan B. Put himself in harm's way so that Ladybug would have no choice but to rescue him.

The first attempts he completely flubbed. It had become second-nature to go barreling in to save the day. Even when he did remember not to transform into Chat Noir right away, the selfless impulse was so strong that he usually caved before anyone got hurt.

Finally, a relatively harmless akuma came by. Well, sort of.

"How dare you take my precious cats from me!" Crazy Cat Lady howled as she roamed through the streets, transforming law enforcement, media, and innocent bystanders alike into cats. Cats that were then sucked into a tractor beam to be added into her living coat of writhing felines.

Yeah, it really was as gross as it sounded.

Adrien hid behind one of the cars on the street, trying his best to stay out of sight until Ladybug made an appearance. She was supposed to be at Alya's today, which meant she was coming from the southwest. Aha!

A flash of red whizzed overhead. Ladybug dropped into the middle of the street, swinging her yo-yo like a nunchuck as she stared her opponent down. Her face was set with the fire and determination that he so adored.

"Ladybug!" Adrien cried happily, popping out of his hiding spot.

Ladybug whirled around, eyes wide as she looked for the source of the voice. "Cha-?"

That was when the beam hit her. In a puff of magic, her yo-yo clattered to the ground and a little red calico cat with a black spot over its eye stood in Ladybug's place. It looked around, moewing and bristling in confusion.

Adrien's jaw dropped.

...Well shit.

Ladycat let out a loud MREOW as she was suddenly caught up into Crazy Cat Lady's tractor beam, about to be sucked into the living coat of cats. With no time to think, Adrien dashed out from his hiding spot and yanked her out of the pull of the beam. It wasn't powerful enough to take a full human body, so he managed to whisk Ladycat and her yo-yo away to safety.

Getting as far away as he could as plain old Adrien, he dashed down a lonely alleyway to catch his breath. "Ladybug! I'm so sorry!" he told the little cat as he let her down from his arms. "Ah-um, you know what. Just stay put, okay? I'll go find Chat Noir!" he declared as the little cat pawed sadly at the yo-yo. With that, he ran off to find the closest place out of sight to transform.

Loathe as he was to leave her, he'd completely screwed them both over with his half-baked plan. Right now, Chat Noir was going to have to pull his weight for the both of them.

Somehow, someway, Chat Noir and Ladybug managed to get through it (like they always did). Apparently, he was immune to being transformed into a cat. Who knew? Maybe it would be useful information one day if they ever ran into an akuma that transformed people into insects.

That night found Adrien where he often was, lamenting and frustrated in his room. Never again, the blond thought as he lay back in bed, staring up at his ceiling. The plan was pretty flimsy to start with, but given what could have passed, he couldn't afford to let it happen again. He could have lost his Clumsy Girl, his Marinette, in one fell swoop. It wasn't worth it. He'd just have to find some other way to get around his problem.

That was when he heard the knock at his window.

Adrien's eyes snapped up and he had the shock of his life when he saw Ladybug hanging onto the outside of his building. She smiled wide and waved, then pointed to the window latch.

The model nearly tripped over his feet in his haste to get the window. "Hi," he said breathlessly, a smile stretching over his features as Ladybug dropped into his room.

"Hey there, Pretty Boy," she beamed as she folded her arms behind her back. "I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by. I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all!" Adrien replied quickly. "Please, stop by whenever you feel like!"

Holy crap. Not a single stutter. It was working!

"Haha, I'm glad," Ladybug smiled, looking at him in warmth and fondness. "A little birdie told me that I happened to be your favorite superhero. Is that true?"

"Ah, yeah. I hope that's okay," the model replied, grinning goofily as his cheeks lit up in a faint blush.

"Of course, it is. I don't mind." The superheroine seemed to consider something for a long moment, before her lips tugged into into a mischievous smirk. Then she caught Adrien's chin and planted a chaste kiss to his cheek, causing his face to explode into a blush. "Thanks for saving me," she whispered softly into his ear, in a way that made him shiver and his mind blank. "Don't tell my boyfriend about this, okay? It's our little secret."

"N-n-no, I would never-" Adrien stammered, before he stopped. Then he tried again. "I wouldn't- How would I even- Chat Noir wouldn't- I mean- I p-promise!"

The blond faltered again, an icy feeling of dread going through him.

No. What. NO.

THIS WASN'T HAPPENING.

Ladybug giggled, her bluebell eyes shining with mirth. "Well, you try to keep yourself out of trouble, okay Pretty Boy?" she winked. With a wave, she slipped out of the open window and back towards her home.

Adrien stood frozen, an overwhelming feeling of horror turning his face as white as snow. He fell to his knees, hands fisting in his hair as he howled to the ceiling, "No. No, no, nononono! NOOOOO!"