The only thing that surprised Fury was that it had taken her this long to track him down. Sure, he was holed up in an unregistered black-site, completely off the grid but one didn't simply take something away from a woman like Melinda May and expect to have to wait two weeks before she came inquiring after it. And Agent Philip Couslon had never been just 'something' as far as she was concerned. The wreck of a woman standing in front of him proved that.
"Take a seat Agent May". When she didn't respond, he continued. "Come on, I know you didn't break yourself out of that civilian hospital and travel across the country by yourself just to stand in my doorway". Even in the darkened room, he saw the raw emotion flicker across her face before her eyes steeled over once more.
"Don't play with me, Fury. You know what I want and you know damn well what I'd do to get it". The effectiveness of her threat was slightly undermined by the crackling hoarseness of her voice. To her outrage, a small smile played across Fury's lips.
"I hate to say it Melinda, but you don't exactly look up to doing much of anything at all at the moment". The unmistakable 'click' of a disengaged safety pin was all he got in response. Wordlessly, Fury kicked the empty chair across from him, sending it skidding to a halt in front of the shaken agent. "I don't have him, Melinda, this isn't coming from S.H.I.E.L.D". He was expecting the warning shot that whistled over his head and didn't dare so much as flinch as he held her gaze with a mixture of sincerity and pity. The words hung in the air between them, and the moment stretched almost beyond breaking point before her shoulders dropped and May sagged soundlessly into the chair in front of her. Taking a moment to study her, now that she had stepped forward from the shadows, Fury could see the effects on his colleague that no amount of intel he received over the past two weeks could accurately describe. Her run in with Agent Coulson's mysterious captors had left her in a critical state in a nearby hospital. The rest of the team had not been harmed and he suspected her time spent in the frame work was the true culprit of her injuries. Muscles atrophied, airway damaged, starved within an inch of her life, the move that was probably meant only to restrain her dislocated both her shoulders and succeeded in nearly crushing her chest, and that was only the physical. She was no longer a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, both her and her team were lucky not to be publicly branded as terrorists but years of friendship and the weight of debts unpaid made his next decision for him. They may not be able to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. but there was no reason they couldn't work alongside it.
Fury's words echoed through my mind as I paused hesitantly in the hallway of the cramped motel, before finally knocking on the faded blue door.
"… I may not be able to help Coulson but I believe you recently gained the responsibility of some people that I can…" Those words had decided it, after all it had been the final thing Phil had asked of me. Take care of our family. When the door finally swung open, Daisy stood in the doorway, looking at me with the murderous accusation I deserved for abandoning her before her eyes swam with tears and she flung herself unexpectedly into my arms. I let my own tears fall and held her as tightly as I could even as my body protested. Jemma's pale figure appeared around the door frame and I quickly dried my eyes as she ushered us into the tiny room, where the rest of the team sat, divided between the floor and two small bed frames. The next few minutes were a flurry of activity that almost out-matched the long journey here. I found myself being pushed towards the edge of the closest bed, where as soon as I sat Jemma immediately began fussing with my bandages and the wounds I had left untreated over the past few weeks, I barely registered Elena whipping around the tight space until a cup of tea was pushed into my hands and Mack began a thorough briefing of their current situation and their movements in my absence. Pride and sorrow sent a stab of pain through my already aching chest; they had pulled together admirably but I could see the strain in each of them - could feel the weight of the atmosphere between a group of raw people barely holding it together. A wave of tiredness I almost forgot I was fighting washed over me and I was beginning to lose focus before a small voice from behind me snapped me painfully back into focus.
"You can't just leave". Daisy was still standing in front of the now closed door, her arms crossed defensively, fear and betrayal reflected in her large brown eyes, still burdened by tears.
"Daisy, please - ", Jemma began pleadingly.
"No Jemma, she's right", standing I turned to face them all, briefly meeting each pair of eyes that looked back at me, "I shouldn't have left you like that, put my own grief ahead of what I know you're all feeling, that's not what Agent Coulson would have wanted and it's not what I intended to do. This team is a family and families don't abandon one another. We will find Coulson and we will keep this family together but first we need to take care of one another. I can't take back what I've done but I - I", my voice faltered as I met Daisy's gaze, hot tears stinging the back of my eyes, "I can promise that from now on nothing will come between or go before my family".
The rest of the night was short but peaceful. The young agents had been vigilant, even in the absence of a leader. Their nightly routine involved taking shifts in groups of two's while the others slept and making supply runs at night as they attempted to lay low. I was glad security was still in their concerns, it was probably the reason they accepted my cautiously vague plans, devoid of any detail accept that they would travel at first light and I would explain everything I could then.
The next morning, I sat in the passenger seat of the mini bus Elena had 'acquired', as Mack insisted on driving. I explained as best I could, skipping over some of the more troubling details of how I came me to Fury's safehouse and the equally unpleasant journey back. But the team were satisfied; I had returned with a set of co-ordinates and the promise of a new life, that if they played their cards right, would provide everything they needed to find Phil.
The night sky was paling into a new day when the bus stopped outside a tall set of gates, a pair of gentle hands shaking me awake as we arrived at was to become our new home.
At first I was furious. Fury had sent us to the HALO headquarters, an organization that had made its business 're-purposing' the talents of displaced special agents from a variety of agencies. They weren't anywhere on a map because people didn't need to find them, they would find the people they needed, regardless of whether those people wanted to be found or not - I should know, I'd recovered the bodies of enough former S.H.I.E.L.D agents to know how these people did business. But it soon became clear that he may be a bastard, but Fury was a smart bastard. New identities, secure lodgings and access to advanced technologies and systems most people didn't even know about. His comment about playing our cards right had not been a figure of speech, this was a game we were all going to have to play if we wanted to get Phil back. It would take time but it was our best shot.
As we always did, the team adapted. We were each assigned to divisions that matched our skill sets, silently thankful our security levels didn't clear us for active missions. The layout of the facility was not unlike a university, different buildings housing the operations of different divisions - and a large apartment block for the housing of new 'residents'. As much as I disliked being kept on such a short lease, it kept the team secure and it kept us together. The spacious four bedroom apartment on the fifth floor didn't take long to feel like home. We worked separately but returned each evening to share dinner and whatever intel we had managed to gather. It was on an evening like this, two weeks after our arrival, an impossible five weeks after the day that led us here, that I could here snatches of the groups laughter and rambling conversations from the kitchen through the small gap in my door. The uncontrollable trembling that had over-taken my body had nothing and everything to do with my collapse on my evening run. The jarring sickness had been building all week, I'd hoped the cool air might help clear my head as I set off on my usual route outside the compound. I hadn't felt my legs falter beneath me and the hard shock as the pavement rushed to meet me jolted me back into awareness. Still, as I stood, a fresh wave of nausea overtook me and I was forced to lower myself back to the ground. As I sat there my stomach settled but my mind wandered, landing on something that forced me back to my feet as my chest constricted.
I made one stop on my way back to the apartment, declining dinner when I returned and retreating to the privacy of my room. That had been almost an hour ago and in that time - minus three excruciating minutes - my world had simultaneously fallen apart and come together again. I knew what I had to do, yet still, I remained rooted to my bed, the offending piece of plastic still gripped in my hand. I looked down at it once more, the results already beginning to fade and set it aside as I reached under the bed, pulling out the go-bag I had packed our first night here. It didn't have much, some clothes, a weapon, cash but then again I didn't have much else. Gathering up the packaging still strewn on the floor of the small ensuite she shared with Jemma, I stuffed it into the bag and hoisted it over my shoulder, slipping silently out the door of my room. At the end of the hallway, I paused but a shout of Daisy's laughter masked the sound of the key turning in the front door before it clicked softly shut behind me. The weight that pressed down on me as I made my way out of the complex had nothing to do with the bag slung across my back. The guilt brought tears to me eyes that I didn't bother rubbing away. Even though it would break a bit of me and possibly all of them, I knew that I was willing to break every other promise in order to keep this one. Because this wasn't just my decision. It was the last thing he had asked me to do. Take care of our family.
