Chapter 1: Too Loud For Ren

Ren was humming, having a normal day at… wherever the hell he works. "ALRIGHT, EVERYONE!" Screamed his boss. "There's construction work nearby! They're building the world's biggest pug statue next door! So DEAL WITH IT!" And he stormed out. "Oh, how bad could that be-" Ren began, but the noise was so loud he went flying into the air.

A horrible shift later…

Ren came trudging home from work. "Ugh! That was one of the worst sheefts of my life! Well, at least now I can enter my nice, quiet home and- WHAT THE FUCK?" He walked in the door to see Stimpy singing "Jimmy Cracked Corn" and playing an excellent drum solo. Ren's head made a creaking noise as it turned to the side like Stewie. His boiling,angry expression turned into a pscotic and demented smile. He slowly walked over to Stimpy. "Steempy…" He said in his quiet and psychotic voice. Stimpy continued, not enven aware of Ren's presence. "Steempy…" He repeated. He still didn't respond. "LOOK AT ME, YOU BLOATED EEDIOT!" Stimpy turned to him, wiping sweat off his forehead. "Phew! Oh! Hiya, Ren!"

"Steempy?"

"Yes, Ren?" He said eagerly. WHAT EEN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING!"

"I entered a radio contest! Whoever writes the most unique song wins a prize!"

"And what's thaaaaat?" He said softly "A free trip to Bikini Bottom! So I'm gonna write a rock version of "Jimmy Cracked Corn" and hope I win!"

"WHAT EEN GOD'S NAME EES WRONG WEETH YOU? I'm not even going into the styoopidity of that one! And a radio contest? Wow, we've never done that before!" He yelled sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Aw, cheer up, Ren," Stimpy said soothingly, taking off Ren's hat and jacket and hanging them up for him. "Now what's really bothering you?"

"Well, eet's just that I had the most horrible day at work!"

"And why's that, pal?" He said, sitting down and gesturing Ren to do the same. "There's thees terribly loud construction work going on next door! The government ordered some construction workers to build the world's biggest pug statue!"

"Pug statue? That's gotta be the coolest! Uh, I mean, I'm sorry Ren. But cheer up! You're cousin Sven is coming up to visit tonight!"

"WHAT?" He slowly raised his fist. "Uh-huh! He's staying a whole month!"

"A WHOLE MONTH? WHY DEEDN'CHOU TELL ME?"

"Duh, I did, Ren! Numerous times, actually!"

Flashback time!

"Hey Ren, Sven's visiting in three days!"

"You pervert! Get the hell out of my shower!"

"Hey Ren, Sven's visiting in two days!"

"Shuttup, you eediot. Eet's three een the morning." He through his alarm clock at him.

"Hey Ren, Sven's coming tomorrow night!"

"Ah! Chew your food before you speak!"

"Hey Ren, Sven's coming tonight to stay for a month! Oh, yeah, Ren's at work."

Flashback over

"Well, my point is, Ren, I explained numerous times!" He crossed his arms. "You need to listen a little more, Ren."

"Oh, shut up! I hate you so much! Eef you don't call him and cancel right now, I'll-" The doorbell rang. "Hooray! Sven's here!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Ren screamed like a little girl and ran to the back of the house.