Chapter 2: Violence
"I swear you guys! I saw something following us for the past five blocks, and it doesn't look pretty. It seems to be something big…" The trio was walking through the smoggy streets of New York City on their way to the Square Enix head quarters. Well, Riku and Kairi were anyway, Sora was looking over his shoulder so often that it looked like he had developed some sort of twitch. "Yeah, right." said Kairi. "I think you're just paranoid, but I'll just say you need help." But Sora wasn't going to be silenced that easily, because if he had been, he could have just used Echo Herbs (Final Fantasy reference!!!)... "I'm serious!" he shouted. "Sora, ever since I teleported us here with my dark powers, you've been acting very weird. Has it gone to your head or what?" said Kairi. Sora stopped in mid step to look at the thing that was approaching them at an agonizingly slow speed. "Look…" he said, pointing at it. Kairi looked out into the smog of the narrow and distant street. A very large and distorted cloud was approaching slowly, very slowly.. "What in the world is that?" she started to ask. But before Sora could say anything, he was cut off by a shout. "It's them! They're Sora, Riku and Kairi from Kingdom Hearts!!! Let's go steal their stuff and sell it on E-bay!!!" A gigantic (Literally!) mob of fat college gamers was attacking. (No offense if you know someone) Riku started to think of an escape plan immediately, he wasn't too unfamiliar with this type of situation. Although, whenever he was in that type of situation, it usually involved masses of people shooting at his head, rather than people taking his stuff …or sometimes it was both… "Okay," he said. "When they charge, we turn and hide!" said Riku. Kairi gave him an angry grimace, apparantly taking this as some sign of "treason." "Don't you dare tell me what to do!" screeched Kairi. "I will be your ruler! And therefore you shall obey me!" Riku and Sora, despite the fact that they were being attacked by fans, looked at her with an expression that pretty much said, "I'm sorry, but what the hell was that all about?" Kairi, clearly realizing that it was a bad move, quickly said, "I mean… I'll take care of the mob, just stand back… like on the roof of that skyscraper over there. This could get a little bloody." Sora was only too happy to oblige. She pulled out two machine guns and prepared to fight. The cloud had gotten close enough to show that the mob members were all using weapons from their favorite game franchise. Apparently they had nothing better to do in their everyday lives than to play fantasy RPGs judging by the fact that some numbers of them were using keyblades. "Come to us!" the mob leader shouted. The mob began to advance faster. Kairi's silence was enough of an answer. "Fine, if you won't submit, we will capture you with our Black Mage skills! Final Fantasy power!!!" At this point, Kairi started firing her guns. she clipped off several magazines of bullets onto the mob. She ducked behind a nearby mailbox to reload when bullets flew past her head. Oh wonderful! She thought. Now I'm getting shot at!!! She looked around the mailbox to see where they came from. What? The obese mob members were using their fatness to bounce shots back at her. The Mailbox had suffered several bullet holes, and was quickly disintegrating under the return fire. Kairi had to think quickly or she would be in deep trouble. "Okay, you wanna play tough? I'll show you tough!" Kairi pulled out a very large, very powerful rocket launcher. Complete with laser site. (Order now!) "Word to your mom." She smiled wickedly as she pulled the trigger.
Meanwhile, Sora and Riku were hiding on a nearby skyscraper on the roof. "Wow! Kairi is pretty good with the rocket launcher!" said Sora. Several rockets exploded at the same time near the base of the building. All of the windows on the lower floors shattered and a pillar of flames rose up in front of them on the street. "Wow! Incendiary Explosives in the warhead! That's a nice touch!" shouted Sora. They both ducked away from the edge of the roof as the fire came through to incinerate a nearby box of Gasoline tanks. Why there were gas tanks on the roof is still a mystery till episode nineteen. Another explosion rocked the building as the Gasoline tanks exploded. Just as soon as it came, the fire stopped, leaving minor embers to char the already destroyed roofing. Sora and Riku had suffered some burns to their clothing and limbs, but were otherwise unharmed… for now. "Is it over?" said Riku tentatively. Sora stepped carefully toward the edge of the roof. "I think so, but where's Kairi?" said Sora as he looked down at the street. The smoke was too thick to make out any movement. "Is she dead? Please tell me she's dead!" said Riku as he nervously paced around the rooftop. "Oh well. More company safe money for us!" said Sora cheerfully. Unfortunately the door to the office roof burst open at that very moment. A very battered looking Kairi walked calmly through the door. "Okay, now that that's out of the way, we can continue on our search for Square Co." She looked around at Riku and Sora. They were staring at her with terror in their expressions. "What?" she said. "Stop staring and answer me or you guys will get the mob of fat people treatment!" she brandished her rocket launcher viciously. "Um… uh… yeah, you see…" Sora tried to explain how he felt about Kairi surviving, but he couldn't. "What he's trying to say is that we don't understand how anyone could be this evil…" said Riku. Kairi frowned at Riku. "Well… if you think this is bad, wait till you see what I'm going to do to you in exactly three weeks, four days, six hours, and forty seven minutes from now." Riku swallowed hard, trying not to imagine what it could possibly be. "Yeah… um…" Riku stopped mid sentence. Kairi gave him a dirty look, and in that look was a tiny glint of darkness. "Forty six minutes." She laughed wickedly. "Moving on…" said Sora. They all looked around the bunt scraps that were the roofing pieces. "Wait a minute, this is supposed to be Square co.'s head office." said Kairi as she examined a piece of a gas tank. It had the Square Enix logo on it. "They must have run away when they heard I was coming." said Kairi. "We're too late." She growled to herself in anger and threw one of her last grenades on her person out of a nearby window. A loud bang sounded from the street below them as well as the screams of people. Sora and Riku had horrified expressions on their faces. "Ah, much better." said Kairi. "Now all that we need to do is take the company safe money." She turned and walked down the staircase into the nearby C.E.O. office to unlock the safe and find it desolate and empty. "No!" she said. In another bout of anger she pulled another grenade out of her left shoe and threw it out another window. Another explosion and more screams. "Well, we'll just divide up the money we stole already." She pulled a sack out of her right shoe which was filled to the brim with company checks. "Sora, you get 200,000. Riku gets 141,000 and twenty six cents. And I get the 47 million." She gave Riku and Sora their meager shares of money. "Hey! I may not be the smartest one here, but I think I know when we're being shortchanged!" protested Sora. Kairi's anger was kindled and her wrath was unleashed at this. "Let's see if you even have the capacity think at all after this!" She pushed Sora out the window with a grenade following close behind.
Many people wonder why they do certain things. Like Riku for instance, he wondered why Kairi had been evil since three years before, and got immense enjoyment in other people's suffering. And Kairi wondered why Riku even cared about his adoring fans so much. Or maybe Sora, as he fell from the rooftop of the Square co. building, wondered why he had gone with such an outrageous hairstyle. Or I, as I write this, wonder why I decided to put in this ridiculously pointless cliff hanger. He almost always used the most expensive hair gel with the strongest hold but never actually thought about why he did. He could have used medium hold! Medium! But no, it had to be ridiculous, insane, stupendous, extra crispy, and tougher than your mom hold hair gel! But it didn't actually matter because Sora was more worried about the hand grenade coming down to meet him. Apparently Kairi wanted him dead as a doornail at the bottom. It happened very fast, so fast in fact, that Sora himself didn't see it happen. The reason was that he wouldn't remember it. The grenade hit Sora in the head and disappeared into the ridiculous hairstyle that he had. Yes, it was absorbed into his hair like water into a sponge. Sora almost laughed at how closely he had avoided death, but couldn't because right as it happened he hit the ground at full speed. With a sickening crunch, Sora collapsed to the ground with Kairi was laughing up above. And the world faded away.
