Hi! So here it is, the 1st chapter...when we get the first real peak into what's happened to Sam. Hope you enjoy!
I have to run to throw up as soon as I walk in the door. I guess now I understand why Daniel was so nervous when he told Teal'c, Cam and myself the whole truth about he and Vala's 'relationship'.
Speaking the truth, being afraid of what the people closest to you will think, it's the sickest feeling of them all.
Daniel knocks on my door at exactly seven pm, I can't help but wonder if he was out there waiting for long before knocking…being early so he doesn't risk being late. I wonder if that's something Vala hits him for often. But I won't ask. Not unless he gives me a reason to.
"Hey Sam, how's it going?" I'm greeted with a small but honestly happy smile. A smile I've seen on his face quite often these past few months. I try to smile back as best I can.
"Hey Daniel, come on in" then I gesture to my dining table. On it sits plates, wine glasses, a strong red wine…and Thai take out from the place he mentioned earlier. He notices this and smirks at me.
"Take out Sam? I thought you wanted to eat in?"
"Eat in, yes, for a private conversation. Cook? Never when I can help it!"
He laughs at this. He's eaten my cooking before and knows it's not as terrible as I make it out to be. And to be fair, I do occasionally cook for a team night when it's at one of our houses…occasionally.
Its more that I don't like cooking as opposed to I can't.
He's an extremely polite dinner guest. He smiles a lot and lets me babble on about whatever random subject that comes to mind, usually work related. He compliments my choices for our dinner and makes appropriate comments about my frustrations at certain members of the science departments.
I can't help but notice he doesn't seem to share my frustrations anymore. Time was we'd both be raving and ranting about other members of our departments.
Eventually the last of the food is eaten and my strong red wine is down to its last dregs. No more putting this conversation off.
Goddammit.
Daniel stands and helps me clear everything up, then sits us both down on the couch. His smile disappears as he looks at me.
"So is it me or Vala you no longer trust?" Geeze, trust Daniel to cut straight through the bull and right to it.
"That's not exactly it Daniel, it's not that I don't trust one of you…" I stop and think for a moment. "Actually, I guess it is. I don't trust Vala. And you have to promise me that nothing I say tonight will go back to her. Because Daniel, I know how this is going to go. I know what people like her do to people like you."
He looks at me confused. "People like…?"
"Trusting people like you who are over-worked get blindsided by people like her who come barrelling in and decide they're going to change your life. And it sounds good, great even, except sitting there in the fine print is this little clause that says that in order for them to change your life you have to obey every little order they give you, until they don't want you anymore. And God help you if you really disobey because it may just mean you don't walk right for a few days after they're done disciplining you."
He's frowning now. "Sam, that's not it at all. That's not what is happening between Vala and I. I love her and she loves me. I don't know where you're getting your information from but…"
I cut him off.
"My knowledge comes from experience Daniel. From experiencing what I'm trying to save you from."
(Flashback)
I first met Jonas Hanson when I was a 2nd Lieutenant. He was a 1st Lieutenant, although at the time I didn't realise how new of a thing that was. I liked him from the very beginning, all spit-polish and shiny buttons. Just like my dad. And just like I'd been taught by my dad from as soon as I could talk, I was respectful even to another lieutenant, he was still one pay-grade above me and I made sure to salute and address him correctly.
Due to the fact we were both already working in the Pentagon, we were often surrounded by officers of a higher rank. As such, on his second full day as a 1st Lieutenant, I was the first officer to call him "Sir".
According to him, that was when he decided he wanted me.
We saw each other around fairly often, even though we weren't on the same projects. He was very suave, very confident in himself. When he asked me out the first time I couldn't help but blush and stutter as I said yes. I felt like a teenage girl again, not like the Lieutenant-Doctor I was at the time.
We went out for dinner at this cute little Italian restaurant I don't remember the name of. The menu was all in Italian though and I don't read or speak it. Jonas ordered for me. I told myself he was being sweet, taking pity on me so I didn't embarrass myself.
He ordered a big bowl of some sort of spicy seafood pasta. I've never really liked seafood, or spicy food. And it was a huge serving. But I ate it all. I didn't want to seem impolite after all. He talked. A lot. About his work, about missions he'd done. About his education. About a lot of things. I remember trying to respond, to make it a conversation, but every time I did he would cut me off with something else.
I told myself it was cute how excited he was about his work and his life.
It wasn't until later that I realised he hadn't really spoken about much at all. No family, no childhood, nothing. Just work and fluff.
Then I didn't know what to think. Why didn't he allow me to respond?
When I saw him the next day in the cafeteria he was talking to some pretty civilian girl. Some Colonel's P.A or something. I went up to him and asked if he wanted to arrange another night. He looked at me for a moment, smiled and said he absolutely would and he would meet me in my office later to organise details, and then turned back to the other girl.
I wish I'd rescinded my offer for a second date. God, I wish I'd seen what was right in front of my eyes and rescinded it.
(End Flashback)
"Sounds like he was a lunatic from the get-go then." Daniel says, still frowning.
"They all are," I reply, "but lunatics, especially those who live on the fringe like Jonas, are very good at hiding what they are. Psychopaths."
