Note: words in italics are Lazlow commentating. He may also speak in normal dialogue when he interacts with the guests.
None of them got much sleep that night. After the initial fight over who got the top bunk, ending hours later when Claude climbed up without a word and lay down, the men sat awake, thinking. The idea of being trapped in a house for any length of time worried them slightly, especially Lazlow, who was forced to live with them until he could find a place to stay. Thank God they installed a metal detector.
All the men slept with one eye open, still unsure about the people they shared a room with. The three contestants were all natural born killers, but were virtually harmless when unarmed.
6am. Time for our contestants to wake up, came the voice from Lazlow, when he was safely at the other end of the building.
Tommy, who had ended up with the bottom bunk (CJ on the floor), turned onto his side, and saw Claude, falling past him with a thump. Claude mentally cursed, and brought himself to his feet. Fortunately, he had landed on something soft.
Carl lay in a sleeping bag, barely awake, trying to work out where the agonising blow to the back had come from. Claude smiled evilly. Carl glared at him.
The men stepped groggily out of their quarters, and sat at the large breakfast table. They watched each other like hawks.
Day Two. Tension is building up.
They looked to the other end of the table, where Lazlow was cradling the microphone.
The contestants have experienced a lot of anger, mostly towards myself.
They slowly stood up.
"Ah, now, gentlemen, please. I'm afraid the use of any physical harm towards your host will result in immediate eviction." Lazlow smiled. The men thought about this briefly, then continued to advance. "I mean, violence will result in a longer stay in the Big Brother House." he croaked nervously.
The men sat back down.
Now ladies and gentlemen at home, let me explain the rules.
Carl looked around to see who he was talking to. Claude hit him.
In order to survive, the contestants must complete various challenges, for which they will be awarded such things as food, drink, sleep, and booze. All the essentials I'd say. Failure to complete a challenge will result in a certain privilege being taken away. The contestants must both work together and alone. They must use all their cunning and tact to outwit their fellow players.
Claude thought about this.
He hit CJ again.
Every so often, whenever I see fit, the contestants must nominate one person for eviction.
Tommy's face brightened.
But not themselves.
Tommy sagged glumly.
This person will be forced to leave the house, and lose the competition, and the others will be one step closer to the grand prize.
"What's the prize?" said CJ.
Lazlow tapped his nose and winked, more in a "I don't know and don't want to admit it" way than a "its a secret" way.
Your first challenge, gentlemen, will split you into two teams. Team one will be Tommy and Carl, and "team" two will be you, Claude. Your objective, team one, is to make Claude talk. If you succeed, you will be fed tonight, if you fail, Claude will. Begin.
Claude sat at the opposite end of the table from them, slightly worried. Tommy and Carl exchanged glances, then took turns at getting Claude to speak.
"Hey Claude." said Tommy. Claude didn't move. "Well. . .I'm out of ideas."
CJ stood in front of Claude, and tapped him on the head. Then punched him. And kicked him. Then Tommy came over. And punched him. And kicked him. Claude simply sat there, without saying a word. Lazlow was sitting with a stop clock, with fifty-nine minutes on it. They continued to pound him, until they began to get tired. They sat down for a moment, catching their breath. During this time, Claude stood up, and walked over to Lazlow. He took the stop clock from his grip and examined it. Then hit Lazlow over the head with it. Lazlow picked up the microphone.
The Winner: Claude!
Claude nodded happily, and was handed a plate of some sort of soup. He sat down and started scooping it into his mouth. He glanced up, to see Tommy and CJ glaring at him. He licked his lips mockingly, and gave them the finger again, just ensure they knew where he stood.
Not to worry guys, there is always tomorrow. You are free for the rest of the night.
Claude cleared his plate, and was walking off, when CJ threw a chair at him, knocking him on his back. CJ stood over him, authoritatively.
"Not so tough now, are we, jackass?"
With one motion, Claude managed to kick him in the nuts and get to his feet. He dusted himself off and walked past Tommy who was laughing, stepping on CJ along the way.
Claude sat in the lounge area, thinking of more ways to piss off CJ.
CJ sat in the adjacent room, pointing an imaginary gun at him, and making firing noises.
Tommy sat across from CJ, slightly confused, but confident. He had worked with plenty of difficult people in his career, and knew how to manipulate them for his own personal gain. CJ and Claude weren't even in the same league as people such as Lance Vance, Phil Cassidy and Ricardo Diaz when it came to difficulty to deal with. Claude might pose a problem. It was hard to tell when he never spoke. CJ on the other hand. . .Tommy reached into his shirt pocket and produced a pen. He pressed the end of it, making a clicking noise. In a fit of panic, CJ dived behind the sofa and pointed his imaginary pistol at Tommy, who laughed. Yup – CJ would be no problem.
Later that night, Lazlow went out to find an apartment. He left the cameras running as the contestants slept, and ran a fake commentary he had recorded (three and a half minutes long, on repeat). He searched into the early hours of the morning, and was successful. He would move in immediately.
When he returned, he noticed someone had drawn on the monitor in a thick black marker, roughly where CJ had been lying. He played back the tape, and saw Claude was not there for a large portion of time, and CJ had a apparently grown some facial hair.
A/N: I just want to point out that I didn't intentionally set out to make fun of CJ and have everyone bully him, it just sort of happened. Its not that I don't like CJ, I just like the other guys better. :)
