A/N: I hope you like this chapter better than the first one.
Disclaimer: Do I own SnK? Nope... I don't. .-. Do I wish I did? Yes and no. Yes, because hello. SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN. No, because then I'd be responsible for deaths and no one wants that.
AU: Modern.

Warning: dark themes such as mentions of rape, abuse, and self harm. Sexual themes that are not intended for younger readers are present. Explicit situations may or may not be present in later chapters. If the coupling JeanxMarco bothers you, don't read! Certain canon deaths still happen. Read to find out who.
Let's get the show on the road!

I kept looking over at Marco, trying to figure out what it was that broke my heart. He's just a handsome stranger, but my chest tightened painfully every time he looked at me. Marco seemed too familiar. I swore I knew every freckle on his face, and that's impossible. I just met him. When he smiled, it felt like my world was put upside down. It wasn't turned upside down, no. It felt like someone had taken the world known as Jean and picked it up only to be set down the wrong way. It's such a weird feeling, to begin falling before you even know the person's last name, or anything else. It's... It's... I can't describe the feeling of fear and something more. I found myself wanting to stare at Marco more and more. What the fuck am I doing? I'm supposed to moon over Mikasa even though I have no chance, not stare at a man!

Even if the man does have nice freckles... And a nice body.. I just know he has abs... His shoulders. Fuck. I'm pretty sure that I could get so fucking hard just looking at his broad shoulders. Not to mention those hips. Fuck! The things I want to do to him. I would ravish this man. Make slow sweet love. Worship every fucking freckle on his perfect body.

Oh, god. I did not think that. No. No. Noo. Calm yourself. No erections. We're only going out to eat. I don't need to scare him off by wanting to fuck his brains out right now. ...Or would he fuck me senseless? Force me down onto the bed... Roughly biting me... Commanding me to follow his instructions... Would he talk dirty to me..? I felt my cock twitch and begin to rise as my mind wandered. Fuck. So much for no erections, Jean. Good going, idiot. I groan softly to myself, reprimanding my every thought about this man.

"Jean? Are you even still here?" Marco began softly, "Jean!" he repeated, his angelic voice louder now.

I snapped out of my thoughts to see Marco staring at me. I bit my bottom lip and felt my cheeks heat up. I hadn't heard a single word he had said. I looked away from his dark eyes that threatened to drown me so I could speak.

"S-sorry, M-Marco. I got lost in thought," I explained sheepishly.

Marco rolled his eyes at me with a soft smile on his face. I found myself staring at his perfect lips as he parted them to speak. He repeated what he had said, "I was asking where you wanted to eat, Jean. So tell me, where do you want to eat?"

"I really don't care where we eat as long as I can watch those lips wrap around something. Even if it is only a fork," I replied, my voice unusually husky.

My eyes had been fixed on his lips, so what I said hadn't registered with me until it was too late to take it back. Uh oh. I might have offended him...
Marco's face was flushed a dark red at my words. A smirk slowly playing on his perfect lips. I shivered, secretly wondering what could possibly be going through his mind to give him such a smirk...

"Comments like that make me almost want to skip dinner completely. Sadly, for you, I'm interested in getting to know the shameless flirt before taking him home," Marco leered.

H-home? He wanted me at home? Fuck, this is not what I expected to hear. I can feel my pulse quicken at the mere thought of going home with Marco, the freckled god. Yeah, my erection's not going away any time soon.

We laughed as we got to his car. He unlocked it before opening my door. I smirked at him. It was cute, the way he made me the escorted one. I suppose it's because he invited me on this date.

It turns out Marco's a terrible driver. He almost killed us four times. Good god. He'd rush through each turn, and he NEVER stopped at a red light. How hasn't he been arrested yet? Oh, right. Fucking perfect Freckled god...

"M-Marco, slow down! Stop! You passed Hanji's restaurant four times now!" I screamed fearfully, my voice cracking.

At this point, I didn't care that my fucking voice broke. I didn't care that we were going to the one place I said I didn't want to go. I just wanted to LIVE. Marco just laughed it off, and told me to calm down. He finally stopped and parked perfectly in a spot. Why the fuck not? Stupid perfect man. I found myself smiling at him fondly, even if he did just try to kill me. He opened my door before I could even blink. He even held his hand out so I could grab it for help out of his car. I thought about complaining, but Jesus, I was just too happy to be alive.

We walked in to Hanji's restaurant and much to my dismay, we were spotted. After an hour of squeals, joy, and a smirking Marco, I begged him to take me home. He told me to drive, so I decided to switch the treatment. I treated him like a dainty princess and helped him with everything. I drove to my house so I could go home. He smiled softly at me when I parked the car. Leaning in close to me, he smiled cheekily.

"Jean... Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?" Marco murmured softly.

Instead of answering, I kissed him gently. One kiss led to more as he became more and more open with his affection. His tongue swiped my bottom lip, causing me to moan into his mouth, my lips parting. I could feel my cock begin to throb again, and I couldn't let that happen. I needed to think. I pulled away gasping.

"M-Marco... N-no more tonight... I can't think..." I whispered, my thoughts still clouded.

He smiled and nodded, kissing me one more time. "Good night, Jean. I'll see you soon, yes?"

I nodded enthusiastically as my cheeks flushed. The kiss resonated strangely with me. Like... It was familiar. I pushed those thoughts away as I leaned forward to capture those perfectly imperfect chapped lips one last time. We kissed briefly before I reluctantly pulled away to go inside.

"Good night, Jean," Marco whispered one more time.

"G-good night, M-Marco..." I stammered in reply.

Taking one last look at him, I unlocked my door, and stepped inside. The moment he was gone, I walked to the kitchen, and grabbed my whiskey bottle. I downed several shots as I regained my composure.

I sat in my car for hours after Marco had left. Didn't even bother to go back inside. Don't want to be alone. I still don't know why my heart fucking hurts every time I look at him. I want it to stop. Stop. Stop. STOP. I could feel my heart quicken.

My heart began racing even faster as I felt my breathing escalate. I couldn't breathe anymore. Fuck. I can't breathe. Can't. Think. I can't do anything. I feel like I'm dying. Fuck. I'm so scared. Is it wrong to want to die? It can't be. Not when it ends this. I tried telling myself no. I really did, but each passing moment, the temptation grew. I ended up giving in. I reach for the knife I keep in my glove compartment, and cut deep into my arm. I cut over and over. I had to stop this pain. I had to. I HAD to stop the thoughts. The past couldn't catch up to me. My dreams weren't real. No. No. No.

"Fuck!" I groaned as the pain made me slowly numb. I drug the knife one more time into my arm. It felt too deep. I whimpered in fear. Everything's going dark. So dark. I can't... I... With one last effort, I call Marco.

"Help..." is all I manage to say when he picks up before everything goes black.

[ Flashback. Year 852 After Fall]

Hours could have passed for all I know when I could finally think. I opened my eyes and tried to relax with deep breaths. I vaguely heard someone scream my name, but my body wouldn't let me move. It hurt. Every single movement was a stabbing pain in my soul and my body. My mind started emptying itself to nothing but Marco. He was dead. He was gone. He was nothing more than a figment in my mind now. I had carried his body to the pyre myself. Never again would I see him smile. He was left there. Alone. Dead. For days. DAYS. No one noticed him. No one found him. I wish it had been anyone else. ANYONE ELSE. Marco... Marco... Why..?

"Jean, snap out of it!" Eren growled angrily, slapping me across the face.

It didn't even phase me. Nothing could get through. Half of him was gone. He had died days ago. I couldn't save him. I was useless. I am useless. I don't deserve to be here. I should just give up. I want to die.

"Marco..." I sobbed quietly.

Armin rested his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. He knew how badly it hurt. He was close to him too. He lost a friend. The only difference? I lost my best friend, and the man I had fallen for. He was gone. Gone. All by himself. He died on his own. It could have been days ago. I can't handle this anymore. It hurts so fucking badly. Why couldn't it have been me? Marco was meant to be a leader! I had nothing! Nothing! Except... Except him.

[Present day Marco POV]

All I could think about was the tender, burning kisses I shared with Jean. I wonder if he remembers... I wonder... Are they just dreams... Or did they really happen? My phone started ringing, and I looked down at it. I sat up in excitement and answered.
"Hey, Jean-" I began.

"Help.." Jean whispered.

"Jean? What's wrong? What happened? Hello?" I said desperately, "Can you hear me..?"

"Fuck," I whispered.

What could have happened? Oh god. Is he okay? He needs to be okay. I ran to my car and drove as fast as I could to his house. I knocked frantically at his door before trying to open it. Locked. Fuck! The garage door was slightly open, so I slipped under it. Rushing to his car, I saw him lying in the back seat. Covered in blood.

"Oh, god... Jean... What have you done?" I cry out.

"Jean... Don't you remember me?" I whisper one more time.

A/N: That's all for now! *Mwahahaha* I hope this slightly shorter chapter makes up for the hiatus! A lot of unexpected things have happened recently, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The rest will be longer, but this one was cut short on purpose! So sorry!

The point of this chapter is honestly to show how when someone cuts, they don't always have control. This may seem really unrealistic to you, but things like this really do happen.

I'd love to hear from you, so please leave reviews! Reviews make me update faster! (Usually.) Thanks for the read, guys. (: