Ok, so we continue…
Once again, the turtles drop everything and rush into Splinter's study...
"What's wrong, master?!" Leo asks.
Splinter has a worried look on his face with his hands cupped, as if he was holding something and it had gone missing.
Don squints and asks, "Sensei, what's wrong?"
Splinter replies, "My sons…this is the WORST thing that has happened in the HISTORY of this show!"
The turtles look amongst each other with worried expressions on their faces before Raph asks, "Well Splinter, what's up?"
Splinter closes his eyes and bows his head, slowly shaking it. After a few moments of silence by Splinter and anxiousness by the turtles, Splinter finally speaks up. "My students…my sons…I have some VERY bad news—my remote is…MISSING!"
The turtles look at each other in worry and then Donny asks, "Well sensei…uh…how'd you lose it?"
Splinter sips his lemonade and says, "Ahh…refreshing—but anyway, I was sitting here watching the news when…when-it happened!"
Mikey inquires, "Well, WHAT happened, sensei?"
"My remote started glowing…and it…it…DISAPPEARED!"
Leo says, "Guys, we have to go find that remote!"
Raph asks, "Ok, but how are we s'posed to do that?"
Don walks over to splinter's coffee table and finds some strange dust. He squints and furrows his brow as he picks up a sample and rubs it between his fingers.
Leo asks, "Hey Donnie, you find something?"
Donnie replies, "Yes, it's some kind of weird dust—not regular dust, either. Sensei, was this where the remote was sitting when it disappeared?"
Splinter turns and says, "Precisely, Donatello."
Donny wipes some dust off on his finger and hurries to his lab. Donny says, "Hey guys, I'm gonna' analyze this dust, it'll likely give us some clues as to who or what took Master's remote."
Just as Donny leaves the room, an important news bulletin was suddenly intercepted by an unauthorized telecast—
The turtles and Splinter all turn toward the television.
Mikey says, "Hey, it's Fishface and Dogshi—er…I mean Dogpound!"
"Hey, you stupid turtles, we just kidnapped that old man at the sushi joint! We want your shells, NOW!"
Splinter says to the TV set, where, somehow, the villains can actually HEAR them reply, "I ain't got time for this—my remote's missing. I'll kick your asses some other day!"
Splinter walks over and shuts the TV off as Dogpound has a disappointed look on his face.
"Aww, c'mon Splin—" -*click*-
Splinter shudders all of a sudden. Leo asks, "What's wrong, sensei?"
Splinter replies, "Ugh…I NEVER want to do that again!"
Mikey asks, "Do what, sensei?"
Splinter says, "I never want to MANUALLY turn on a TV again! It—it's a TERRIBLE thing!"
Just then, Donny runs back into the room. Raph asks, "So, you got any answers?"
Donny replies, "Yes, this dust is remnant from a Xenon ray. Someone obviously used a remote of some sort that was set to the exact coordinates of our lair and used it to teleport Splinter's remote somewhere else. But where that 'somewhere else' is, we'll have to start digging."
Mikey and the other three look at each other in bewilderment.
Raph sarcastically says, "You know what, Donnie? That's EXAAAAACTLY what I'd-a said, man."
Splinter's eyes grow bigger as he says in urgency, "Hurry my sons, Maury Povich comes on at 6! I DESPERATELY want to find out of either Duquan or Raheem is the father of Shamika's baby! Hurry!"
Splinter hurriedly pushes the turtles out of the lair and Leo says, "Whoa! Hey, master!"
Splinter says, "Time is of the essence, my students! If I don't hear those paternity results…oh, the shame you four would've brought to this dojo."
Mikey asks, "Hey, but what about Murakami-san? Fishface and Dogpound kidnapped him!"
Splinter hesitates for a moment, shrugs, and says impatiently, "Fuck Murakawi! Now you four—don't return here without my remote! You have two hours until my show comes on and if you return without that remote, I'll have all of YOU changing channels for me!"
The turtles then start jogging down the sewer line with a sense of urgency.
Leo speaks up, "Wow…I've rarely seen master Splinter so…intense, guys!"
Mikey replies, "Yah, tell me about it, dude! He was even more intense than that time he caught Shredder selling baby clothes outside of that one abortion clinic, dudes!"
Donny thinks for a moment and says, "Guys, we only have a couple hours to find this thing. And I THINK I know where to start!"
Raph asks, "Where then, boy genius?"
Don answers, "The city chemistry lab! C'mon, let's go!"
Yep, to be continued…
