Chapter Two: The technical number one

GHC does not own anything involving the Naruto series, he only owns his original characters, and even then there stuffed full of cliches.

"Hey Naruto guess what!" Corrin shouted as he dived through Naruto's open window, which was responded with one of every fangirl's dreams, being pinned against the wall by a famous anime character. This one being a weasel masked Itachi.

"Well weasel if you wanted me that badly you could at least buy me dinner first." Corrin smirked, even as a kunia was placed on his neck.

"Ahem." Alim chimed a few feet away on the table at which Naruto was sitting looking confused. The two teens separated, The weasel masked anbu disappearing back into the shadow.

"As I was saying," Corrin said as he straightened his short grey yukata and brushed off his black Hakama pants, "I have some good news, I'm officially your guardian!" Corrin threw his arms into the air.

"Really?" The blonde asked hopefully, hoping that his that his days of being alone where over.

'Aww.' Corrin thought, 'That's really freakin' adorable.'

'Neh' Alim grunted mentally... somehow...

'Whats wrong.'

'This shows how alone he truly is to accept that a man who crashed through a roof, Covered in effing Orange gift wrap, is going to be in charge of his well being.' Alim said in disgust.

'Well shit.' Corrin responded, "Yep, you're stuck with me and," Corrin joyfully said as he shifted mental gears, "The Third thought that I awesome enough to make a ninja!"

"Cool!" The blonde boy shouted adorably, causing Corrin to consider getting checked for diabetes.

"What did you do to impress him?" The boy asked.

"The author couldn't come up with a good enough reason to explain why the third would deem us stable enough to become ninja." Alim said, popping up out of Corrins collar who nodded along, "and I can control gravity." Corrin added as he floated a few inches off the ground, and proceeded to smash his head into the ceiling, somehow not breaking it.

The blonde sat in a moment of silent contemplation, resting his chin on his hand.

"Makes sense." He finally concluded. "So what do I call you?" The blonde asked, oblivious to the dumbfounded looks he was receiving. "Well you can call me whatever you want, as long as it isn't an insult or anything kinky, I'd personally recommend something along the big brother line of thinking." Corrin said as he rubbed his head, not having gotten off the floor.

"Ok big bro, what are we going to do first. Naruto excitedly asked.

"Well," Corrin said as he slowly stood up, "You're gonna go to bed, and I'm going to go find me some pillows and make myself a fluffy mountain to sleep in." Naruto looked down in disappointment. "Hey, well do something fun in the morning." Corrin ruffled the boy's hair, "Now go do whatever you do before bed, I'll be back in a moment."

"Promise?" The way Naruto asked asked that one word caused Corrin's heart to clench. The desperation of the lonely child shaking the teens, shocking the both of them. 'What have they done to you?' the both of them thought simultaneously, one in horror, the other in rage.

Corrin lowered himself so that The boy could look at his face. "I promise." Corrin said sincerely before reaching into his sleeve and pulling a piece of Alim. "Here, this will allow me to listen to you and find you if need be." He placed the blob in the boy's hand, where it wrapped around the blonde's wrist. "Now off to bed." Naruto smiled as he ran to his bed.

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Corrin stood in a random empty apartments bathroom scowling at his reflection. The cloth he wore in his face was gone revealing the solid white eyes and a vertical slit of his forehead. He turned away with a sigh.

'And to think all he wants is to protect those who would want him gone.' Alim thought darkly.

'It's a miracle he's not scarred.' Corrin responded while searching for pillows and sheets.

'He is, he's probably gonna have low self-esteem at the very least.'

'Could be worse'

'Yeah, he could have the demon that attacked the village and killed his parents stuck in his gut, wait a fucking moment, he does! Alim mentally shouted.

'You're awfully salty today.'

'Piss off, I'm angry.' Alim grumbled.

'So am I, but being angry won't get us any where.' Corrin tried to calm his brother. "Who leaves a dildo when they move out?" He verbally asked as he looked through one of the drawers, balancing an absurd amount of pillows and folded sheets on one hand.

"Wait what?" Alim poked his head out of Corrin's collar, "huh, What should we do with it."

The teens sat in silence for a moment, before sadistic grins sprouted on there faces and the both of them chuckled maniacally. "This is gonna be good."

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The next morning Naruto awoke to the scent of cooking Ramen. Rubbing his eyes tiredly the blonde passed by the mountain of pillows that took up half of his apartments living room. The other half occupied by books and various other objects.

"mornin'." The tired voice of Corrin greeted the blonde from behind a few books on the boys only table. Naruto stood there for a moment in slight shock, then let loose a bright smile of happiness and tackle hugged the barely awake teen. 'It wasn't a dream.' The blonde boy thought to himself.

'I will burn this world to the ground and eat the ashes if that is what it will takes to protect this child.' Corrin vowed.

'That would probably traumatize the boy.'

'Shut up!' Corrin responded childishly. "Now that you up, what do ya want to do today kid?." The pinket questioned the blonde, who's stomach growled before he could respond. "Good point." The teen reached over and grabbed the steaming water heater, along with two cups of of instant ramen.

When he placed a cup in-front of Naruto, the boy looked at him worriedly. "What?" Corrin asked, Naruto just pointed to the hand that held the boiler, which was smocking. The teen calmly set down the heated metal and held his hand up to his face. He sniffed the reddened flesh and hummed curiously. "Food time!" he said as he pulled a pair of chopsticks out of no-where. Naruto just shook his head and slurped his cheap noodles.

"So the park?" Corrin asked, receiving an excited nod from the joyfully blonde, "Alright, let's do this." Corrin shouted, grabbing the blonde and leaping out the nearest (Thankfully opened) window, off to a day of innocent fun and the occasional not so innocent joke.

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Elsewhere Itachi uchiha had just gotten off duty, and having stashed his uniform in its hidden compartment, started going through his tools. Cleaning and checking there conditions so meticulously that it would impress even the stingiest of neat freaks. Which is why he was visibly shocked to find an overly large bright purple dildo stuffed inside his kunia pouch. So shocked that he didn't here his little brother enter the brother enter his room. "Big brother what's that." The innocent boy asked.

'...Shit...' The stoic teen thought.

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In yet another part of the village a small dark being slithered through cracks and shadows, quickly leaving small pieces of itself on notable people and in various locations. The parts left on the people slowly absorbed the residual chakra they emitted, and at an even slower pace, converting it into more of his shadowy mass.

This plus the added benefit of tracking and eavesdropping on anyone or anything carrying him caused Alim to chuckle. Though having himself split this much gave him a bit of a migraine and made his original form smaller, he could handle it.

Now if only he could absorb nature chakra, maybe then he could get a new body sooner. 'Oh well, back to work.' He thought as he turned back to his search for hidden bases and things like that. The usual.

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Corrin watched from a bench as Naruto, a certain lazy pineapple head, and a familiar chubby boy pet a happy white puppy who belonged to a rambunctious boy with two red fang like marks on his face.

"Your new around here." two men sat on either side of teen, one in 'big boned' with long spiky brown hair, the other thin with his black hair gave him a scared pineapple look. The pineapple was the one that spoke.

"Oh, and what would two clan heads want with boring old me." Corrin mock bashfully asked. The two adults frowned. They thought the teen blind. "It's the horns isn't it." Corrin shifted his head from side to side, seeming to stare at the two older men. "Listen kid," Shikaku kid, "I just came to talk."

"And to tell me that you'll be keeping an eye on me." Corrin added onto the lazy man's sentence, He smirked, "I know who you are Shikaku Nara, head Jonin of the leaf village. The third probably sent you to either threaten or worn me."

"You won't have to worry about me." He said leaning forward, "I like this village and want to see it thrive, Now if you'll excuse me," he turned to speak to the approaching Naruto. "Whats up kid."

"Can we get a dog?" The boy asked excitedly. Corrin shook his head Sadly, "We don't have the money to take care of one." Naruto looked down in disappointment. " But we have Alim and he's close enough to one." 'Asshole' Alim chimed in.

"Speaking of money," Corrin turned to look at the two men, "Either of you know where I can find a job?" The two adults shrugged.

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"Hey Corrin, what are you doing." Naruto asked when he saw his guardian focusing intently on his clasped hands. "I had an idea." The pink haired teen replied. A moment later he unclasped his hands to reveal a small block of what looked like metal. "Nope." the teen simply said as he threw the block behind himself and clasped his hands again. "I'm trying to make a toy that I had growing up,"

'And had entirely to much of as a teenager.' Alim added on. 'Pot this is kettle.' Was Corrin's only response. he unclasped his hands to reveal a slightly smaller block with four lumps on top of it. He tossed that over his shoulder and started over again. 'This would go by faster if I could use shadow clones.'

'Well have you tried it?' Alim asked, causing the teen to freeze before he started muttering obscene swears. 'Welp, no time like the present.' The teen thought as he held his hands up to make the hand seal, 'Wait they don't trust me as it is, what will they do if they find out that I know an A-rank kinjutsu?' both brothers were silent for a moment, contemplating the results that this one action could cause and how it would affect their plans for years to come.

"YOLO," Corrin shouted as he made the multi-shadow clone hand sign, creating six clones. The original stood up to speak with them. "Alright maggots, you know what we're here to do, so get to it!" He shouted at them. "Sir, yes sir." They shouted back with a military salute, before scampering around like headless chickens.

"Big bro, you never answered my question." Naruto asked as Corrin sat at the table. "Well ya see Naruto, I'm broke." He started to reach for a Ramen cup. "And I need money if I'm gonna take care of you, so I'm bootlegging a popular toy from where I'm from." He slurped the cheap noodles that he cooked without anyone noticing. "And I'm betting that it'll be as popular here, then we'll be rich!" he finished with a fist pump to the air.

"What's the toy." The blonde asked as he watched one of the clones hand Corrin something small. "Well young Naruto, it a toy older than me, older than than my father, and has been the source of joy for hundreds of children, and the bane of many a parent," He held up the little plastic block, the four circular protrusions evenly spaced and flat on there gray surface, "This, little one, is a lego."

A/N: And another chapter done. Sorry that this one is somewhat filler-ish. I'm trying to put a chapter or two before I send the blonde off to the academy and Corrin begins his torture- I mean training, yeah training. If you liked this then follow this story, maybe even favorite it. If you have any thoughts, questions, or threats you want to send me, leave a comment. I love seeing those, and to Thor94, get out of my head I just vacuumed.

Have a good whatever the heck it is for ya.