Something in the Water

Author: MoonStarDutchess

Chapter 2: Nerves

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit from this fanfiction.



Roy muttered as he made his way to his office. After yesterday's office discussion, today he just hoped that things would stay quiet. He knew that if Havoc started any sexual discussion whatsoever that he would order him to stop instantly, sparing him from another verbal ass kicking from Riza.

Those discussions the previous day were a catalyst for several sexual but not unwelcomed dreams regarding Riza's capabilities. His favorite was one where she was baking with nothing on but an apron and she let him take her right there on the kitchen table. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory of that dream. It wouldn't be good to let his…cream roll…rise at work.

He walked inside the office and much to his surprise everyone was standing up and looked as if they'd been waiting for him. Usually when he came in they were at their desks working.

"You are late sir," Riza said.

Roy turned his head so that he could look directly at her. As usual, she looked quite beautiful this morning, but there seemed to be something slightly different about her. He studied her a bit more and realized she had her makeup on a bit thicker than usual. He let his gaze fall down to her arms where she held a clipboard in front of her chest.

"We need to get going sir," Riza stated.

Roy was confused upon hearing her words and he displayed his confusion on his face. "What's going on? Ready to go where?"

"You didn't hear chief? Havoc questioned, with a slight smirk.

"Hear what?" Roy questioned, turning his gaze from the beautiful blonde to the blond he would never think of as beautiful even if he were blind.

"We don't have to work today," Havoc said.

"What? Why?" It wasn't as if he would be opposed to it at all, but he hadn't heard anything about work being cancelled. If it were to happen, he'd be the first to know. He turned his gaze back to Hawkeye. Okay, he'd be the second to know. It seemed like Hawkeye was privy to information before he was, most likely because she was the first one at the office every morning.

She also found out information that the average lieutenant wouldn't be privy to knowing. Most of the higher officers tended to treat her like one of them instead of a subordinate so that wasn't really a surprising fact. She had the respect of the majority of people at headquarters. It wasn't just because they were slightly afraid of her, but also because she was a genuinely good and fair person.

He knew that if she'd taken the promotions offered to her that she'd probably be a much higher rank by now. Hell, she would have probably had a position on the council.

"Don't listen to him sir," she said while glaring at Havoc. "It is our units turn to do the inspections of the military posts around the city."

"No one told me that," he said. He didn't mind the inspection assignments at all and tended to look forward to them. It was a chance to get out of the office and out of doing paperwork while not being in a dangerous situation.

"It was on the memo that was sent around every day this month. Then again, it doesn't surprise me that you didn't read it despite that fact."

Roy laughed nervously, "I was distracted with other matters around the office."

"Yes, I figured that much. Shall we go sir?" she questioned, walked by him, and out of the office. He caught a whiff of her perfume as she walked by. It was his favorite scent and he didn't even know what it was. He'd thought of asking her but figured it wouldn't be a proper thing to do. He'd missed it when he was up north and reveled in her scent when he got back and started working in the office again.

"Sometimes I wonder who the commanding officer in this office is," Breda commented, breaking Roy from his thinking.

"That's a stupid statement Breda. I am of course," Roy said. He turned his gaze to the chuffy man then added, "But only in rank."

"So basically she has the say and you have the rank just for show?" Breda questioned.

"Shut up Breda," Roy replied. He stuck both hands in his pockets and walked out the door. He deserved his rank of course but Riza was definitely a major reason he was at the rank he was. She handled the small things so he could focus on the bigger picture. She wasn't insubordinate she was just blunt and did what was best for him. She wanted things done and done quickly so it would make him look good to other people and he was truly thankful for everything she did.

"He's whipped in more ways than one," Fuery said, being abnormally blunt.

"Only one way for now. That is, until Hawkeye and the chief become lovers. Then he will be puss-" Havoc started to say but was cut off by Riza shouting for them.

"What is taking you four so long? Let's get going! We haven't got all day."

"Yes Ma'am," they all said in unison and left the office.

-----

Riza growled for the tenth time since they left headquarters. To say that she was frustrated would be the understatement of the year. If the purpose of their assignment hadn't been told to her then she would definitely be confused as to exactly what it was. The men certainly weren't acting the way they should be. They were acting like a bunch of teenage boys who never went into the city before. They were looking at women and rating them and it made her angry. Now wasn't the time to be doing such things.

As usual, she knew she would end up doing all the work and they all would get the credit. It wasn't that she was so concerned about getting praise for her work but damn it. All of the work she was doing was becoming taxing on her nerves and if she didn't find some way to relieve the stress, she was going to explode. Merely shooting her guns just wasn't as effective as it used to be. She thought about joining a kickboxing class or taking up some form of martial art.

The fact that she hadn't gotten much solid sleep was having a big impact on things as well. For the past few weeks, she'd been having dreams about Roy Mustang. Until last night, most of them had been about merely kissing him. Then, last night, those simple dreams turned into a mental porno involving her, a kitchen, and her full arsenal of skills at her disposal. She woke up and refused to walk into her kitchen. Instead, she grabbed breakfast at the café down the street from her home.

When Havoc made a comment about a woman's buns, Riza stopped walking, turned around quickly, and opened her mouth to speak when she noticed that someone was missing from their little unit. Of course, it was General Mustang. She heaved a huge sigh, not bothering to hide it from the men. She took several deep breaths trying to calm her temper. The men knew what her actions meant and their faces turned pale.

"Where in the hell is the general?" she questioned with her eyes narrowed and her voice threatening. She sounded like someone that was ready to rip out someone's throat. When no one answered her, she took three paces closer to them and yelled. "ATTENTION!" The group of men instantly snapped into formal postures as if they were undergoing some sort of inspection.

Riza noted the people walking past them, laughing at the sight of the group of officers. She decided that she would take a bit of revenge on them by making them stay in that posture for a few minutes. She paced back and forth a few times, almost daring them to follow her with their eyes. If they so much as glanced at her she'd order them to do push ups. After a full minute, she stopped and faced them.

"Now, I asked a question. Havoc! Where is the general?" she snapped, directing her steel melting glare at him.

"He's at the flower booth Ma'am!" he answered in full military fashion. His words were a bit shaky due to his nervousness. "One of the girls there stopped him, Ma'am!"

Riza gripped her ink pen tightly, the tiny metal latch on its lid pressing hard into her palm, slowly imprinting itself in her skin. She was holding her clipboard in her other hand, her nails pressing down into the paper, leaving small indents in it. Normally, she would be able to handle this much better but today she just wasn't in the mood to deal with this kind of crap. She had a headache, she was sleepy, it was humid outside, she was overworked, and she had to deal with a lazy ass general that thought it was his duty to flirt with everything with tits and an ass.

"I see," she stated calmly. She took a step closer to the men. "Did it ever occur to you four that I would have liked to have known that…three blocks ago?" She spoke the last part of her sentence in a tone that would have made the men cringe if they weren't currently trying to act as if they were in boot camp. It was very loud and angry but not quite up to the yell level. Riza Hawkeye rarely yelled at anyone over anything.

"Guess the chief wanted to make sure he had his nightly fuc—"

"Continue with that word Havoc and I will make sure you won't have anything to use if you ever manage to get laid," she snapped.

She handed Fuery her clipboard and pen. "You guys better not move from this spot or you will regret it," Riza snapped and stalked away from the men. She didn't really want to threaten the men but she was just so damned tired of them. At times, she entertained the notion of quitting the military and finding something else to do.

---

"The general is in for it now," Breda commented.

"Yeah…" Havoc said, trailing off as he watched Riza walk out of sight.

"Okay, I know that tone of yeah. What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking maybe we need to lay off of Hawkeye for a bit. Make things a bit easier for her."

"What do you mean?" Fuery questioned.

"Have you ever seen Hawkeye like that? I've known her for a while and I seriously think she needs a break. We aren't being very helpful around the office and Hawkeye has to take up the workload. Sure Mustang does his work now, but then he goes and does things like this when we are out of the office working. We were also goofing off with the women rating. She's clearly not feeling well physically or mentally. I saw her popping two aspirin on the way to work this morning and she was putting on makeup under her eyes. My guess is that she hasn't been getting enough sleep either."

"Then lets help out by each of us taking these forms and going to the posts and having them filled out, by the time she gets back. That way we all can get back to the office and not be out in the hot weather and she won't have to do much of anything," Falman said.

"Good idea," Havoc agreed.

Fuery divided the sheets between them and they all went into different directions toward the military posts.

---

Riza growled and cursed under her breath about horny men and their lack of self-control. Why was everything always about sex? It seemed all they cared about was a woman with big boobs and a nice ass. For the majority of men, intelligence wasn't even on their list of desirable traits. Sex was obviously a good thing most of the time but it wasn't so good that it had to be on the brain for 24 hours a day.

She remembered reading a magazine that spoke about how the average male thought about sex every seven seconds. While she didn't believe it was that frequent, she did believe that it was most likely more along the lines of five to ten times per day, however it was always somewhere in their minds.

That hypothesis came from years of being in the office with a bunch of perverts and on the frontlines with a bunch of extremely horny men. One had to pay attention to the circumstances around them and the type of men. Therefore, the studies that scientists actually did were pretty much inaccurate. She stopped in her tracks when she realized exactly what she analyzed. "Damn, I need a vacation," she said, then continued on her way.

She finally arrived within visual distance of the flower booth and narrowed her eyes at the scene that greeted her. Roy was leaning against the flower booth chatting with a young woman that looked like she could still be in high school. She was one of those blondes that gave smart blondes a bad reputation.

Riza was a good 40 feet away when she heard a loud shriek that was apparently, what the girl had as a laugh. If she weren't so used to the sounds of gunfire then the noise would have probably made her ears bleed.

She watched as the girl went to lay a hand on Roy's shoulder but much to Riza's surprise, he moved away just before she did so. Through the years she'd grown to recognize Roy's movements and she could tell that he didn't just happen to move away by pure coincidence.

Riza walked up to stand behind Roy and tapped one of her feet, waiting for him to realize someone was standing behind him.

"Oh, can I help you Ma'am?" the young girl asked exactly when she spotted Riza.

Riza was inwardly fuming at being called ma'am by someone not in the military. She was only twenty-seven years old! She didn't feel like she was old enough to be called Ma'am yet. However, she could tell the young woman didn't mean it as a smart-ass comment so she ignored it.

"Yes, I would like to place an order for a lazy brigadier general who needs to be working instead of flirting with young ladies that are nearly half his age."

Roy stiffened when he heard the familiar voice of his lieutenant. He whispered something to the girl in a low tone while handing her a bit of money. She handed him three calla lilies and he turned to Riza.

"Hello there lieutenant," Roy greeted, a nervous smirk plastered on his lips.

"Hello there yourself sir," she said. To anyone else the tone would have sounded normal but to Roy Mustang that tone conveyed that she was pissed off beyond the ability to express words of anger.

He walked closer and held out the flowers to her. "Sorry," he said.

She stared down at the flowers and smiled softly. If she thought he actually meant what he said, she might have accepted both the flowers and the apology. However, he never did mean it when he apologized to her. He always did the same thing the next day, week, or month.

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it, sir," she said, speaking what she was truly thinking. She turned and walked away, not taking the flowers he offered her.

"What do you mean if I don't mean it? I mean it, I really am sorry," he said as he followed her.

"Yes, sorry until next inspection when it will happen again."

"So you aren't accepting my apology?" he questioned.

"I don't think I need to grace that question with an answer." She said.

Roy rushed to walk beside her. She started to slow her pace a little so she would be the customary two steps behind the commanding officer, but he grabbed her arm before she could do so.

"Walk beside me Hawkeye. I can't talk to you when you are following that silly protocol."

"Yes, Sir," she said and kept pace with him.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine sir," she replied.

Roy looked down at the flowers. "I know they are your favorites. Please don't let them go to waste," he said. She sighed and took the flowers from him; it would be a shame to throw them away.

It stayed silent for a while as they walked. It was rather nice to walk with Riza like this out on such a beautiful day.

"Why are you wearing so much makeup?" he questioned suddenly.

"Lack of sleep," she answered honestly. "It wouldn't do to have a ragged appearance at work."

"Why can't you sleep?" he questioned.

"That's a personal matter sir," she answered.

"Oh," he said and once again, silence enveloped the two officers until Roy broke it again.

"Tell me, when is the last time you've been —"

"Careful sir," she said, cutting off his sentence.

"On a date," Roy finished. Inwardly, he was laughing like mad. He knew what Riza thought he was going to ask. In all honesty, he was quite curious about the last time she had sex but he wasn't about to inquire on such a personal topic.

Riza tried to hold in a blush over his question. She was embarrassed over thinking what she did and was extremely relieved that he didn't ask her what she thought he was going to ask.

"Well Lieutenant?" he questioned.

"I believe that is a personal matter that is not fit for discussion with my commanding officer," she said, once again using the personal matter as an excuse.

"I've known you since we were kids Riza. I am not just your commanding officer."

"At the current moment in time you are, Sir. In addition we are on duty where discussions such as this aren't appropriate."

"So you'd answer me if we weren't on duty?" he questioned.

"I didn't say that. It's still a personal matter that I prefer not to discuss."

"I see," he said, and spoke no more until they arrived where Riza told the group of men to wait.

"Why are you stopping here?" Roy asked.

"I told the men to wait here," she said. She wanted to yell, scream, and throw an all out tantrum over the disobedience of the men. For once, she just wanted to shriek out of arrant frustration. Why couldn't they just listen for once! Suddenly she got a small pain in her chest: that little tinge of pain always occurred when she was about to explode in anger.

She sat down on a bench beside the door of one of the shops that lined the street and muttered a few curses under her breath. She leaned over and rested her head in her hands.

Roy sat down beside her, looking quite concerned about her.

"What now? Do you want to look for them?"

"Look for them sir? They could be anywhere around here. It would take forever," she said, trying not to let her frustration display in her voice. Roy stared at her for a moment. She'd been looking quite tired lately and he could tell that her temper had been festering. He knew that he was doing little to ease that frustration with his actions. Especially the comments about her sexual skills that he'd made. Normally she would have just let those comments slide, but that time she'd fired back with insults of her own: a strong indication that not all was calm inside the stoic in appearance only, lieutenant. He'd like to help her relax and knew just how he could do that.

"Lieutenant, I would like to ask you something," he said.

"Yes sir? What is it?" she questioned.

"Would you be interested in going to din-"

"General! Lieutenant!" a voice interrupted Roy's question. They looked ahead to see Fuery and Falman walking toward them. Hawkeye stood; ready to give the two men a scolding when Mustang beat her to it.

"I thought Lieutenant Hawkeye told you to stay here until she got back. What is your excuse for disobeying a command from a higher officer?"

Riza was surprised at Roy's words. They sounded incredibly formal and it was very rare of him to speak in that tone toward his subordinates.

Fuery and Falman whipped into a salute. "Well sir, we noticed that Lieutenant Hawkeye seemed to be doing all the work and we wanted to make it up to her. We all separated and went to get the inspection sheets done for her. Falman and I just got back," Fuery explained.

Riza didn't think she could be any more surprised than she had over Roy's actions, but upon hearing those words, she realized that she was indeed wrong.

"I see," he said with a small smile. Fuery and Falman walked over to Riza and handed her the clipboard with the finished evaluation forms on it. She gazed at them to see that every single part was filled out very neatly.

"Thank you," she said, truly touched at the kind gesture even though it was part of their job.

"We all agreed to meet back at this spot," Falman said.

"What places are left?" Riza questioned.

"The one on the west of the block," Falman said.

"You two wait here for Havoc and Breda. The lieutenant and I will take care of that one. When they return, go back to the office."

"Yes sir," Falman said.

"Good, let's go lieutenant," Roy said, taking Hawkeye's hand and leading her away. Riza blushed slightly at the contact.

"Sir, um…do you think this is proper?" Riza questioned, though she enjoyed the feel of her hand in his and the rough feel of his pyrotechnic glove rubbing against her skin.

Roy stopped but didn't let go of her hand. "Is what proper?" he questioned.

Riza looked down at their hands, Roy's gaze following hers. He suddenly pulled away and stuck the hand in his pocket. "Sorry about that Lieutenant. Well, not exactly sorry about it but I am sorry about it. Um… that's not what I meant to say though I said it but didn't…"

Roy trailed off. He felt really stupid and didn't know what had gotten into him. Normally he was completely at ease with women, but Hawkeye was another matter. He was very comfortable around her in a working and casual manner; however, when it came to anything slightly romantically intimate, he lost his train of thought and just began babbling like an idiot. Hell, he could even tease her like some voyeuristic degenerate but didn't seem to have the ability to speak to her with sincere romantic feelings. It was obvious that he did have them, despite the things he said yesterday in the office.

"Sir, it is fine. Let's just get to the post so we can finish the inspections. We have to get to every checkpoint in the city this week."

Roy sighed. He had to admit that he was slightly disappointed that she didn't voice anything more over them holding hands. He hoped she would have spoken about how it was nice or something to that extent.

"All right," he said, trying not to let his disappointment reflect in his voice. They walked down the street toward their destination and finally arrived. After getting the inspection over, they started on their way back to headquarters.

"That went well," Roy said. "It was pretty easy."

"Yes, work isn't nearly as hard as you make it out to be."

"I never said it was hard. It's just annoying."

Riza couldn't hold back a small laugh, which turned out to be music to Roy's ears. He wanted to hear more of that sound. He wanted more and more to be the reason that joyful melodic tone left her body.

"Well, you are a grown man and should all ready know that there are things in life that you have to do even though they annoy you. Do you honestly think I enjoy working sir?"

"You are a workaholic," he said.

"Not by choice," she muttered.

Roy heard what she spoke but chose not to say anything about it. Instead, he grabbed her hand once more and pulled her into an alley.

"Sir, we should be getting back to the office," she said.

"Not yet, there's something I want to ask you first."

"Sir, if it's about my sexual skills then—"

"Will you go to dinner with me tomorrow night?" he asked. Riza could only stare at him in disbelief over his question.