As we all know, Near is a dog, and he is currently being slobbered over by Linda. *insert evil laugh text here*

Near: HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0_0

Mello: LOL!!!

Matt: *plays PSP game- Tekken 5 Dark Ressurection*

Me: Dude, Linda. You suck.

Linda: *does not hear*

Me: The remote settings say that everybody can see AND hear me.

Mello: Darn.

Matt: Darn. I lost to Devil Jin.

Me: Stop staring at that high-def screen and pay attention. I'm paying you to be in this lousy fanfic. *swipes Matt's PSP and tosses PSP out window*

Matt: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SAVE!!!

Me: My dog ate my PSP and I didn't even get a chance to save. My buddies said that I deserved the PSP being eaten and I never got one again. I shall steal another one. =D

Me: And now we shall escape this ugly scene. *runs*

Mello: Come on Matt. *drags behind*

Matt: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SAVE!!!

Me: *is in Matt and Mello's bunkroom* Why are there chocolate wrappers in the pillow and dusty games under the mattress?? I thought all Wammys' orphans had to be asleep by 12 midnight, and bedime is 11:59!!!

Matt: Uhh...

Mello: Uhh...

Me: Sure. "Uhh..." is the only word in your vocabulary. Anyhow, I think that we stay in here until Linda has finished torturing Near, then I can work out some kind of cure for this...

Mello: NOO!!! DON'T CHANGE HIM BACK!!

Me: I bet it's cuz you'll probably torture him too, then throw him out the window and be arrested for animal cruelty.

Mello: *lower eyelid twitches* Can you read minds??

Matt: *mourning his game* WHY DID THIS TRAGIC INCIDENT HAVE TO HAPPEN??? WHY????????????

Me: Get over it, you have the exact same game.

Matt: BUT IT'S ON NINTENDO DS!!!

Me: So? I'll get Phoenix Wright to replace Dark Ressurection.

Matt: BUT THAT'S TOO EASY!!!!!

Me: Better than nothing, bub.

Matt: o_O

Me: And now, after about 10 hours, we shall go outside and find Near. *goes out, dragging Matt and Mello*

Mello: I don't see him anywhere.

Matt: What's that pink fluffy thing over there?

Me: It's Near. Linda must have put him in one of those yucky pink ballerina dog dresses.

Near: *sob*

Mello: *snaps photos* I can blackmail Near for the rest of his miserable life with these!!!

Me: He's wearing lipstick, and all the yucky things Linda uses to make herself look nice. I think it makes her look even more stupid than she already is. *shivers*

Near: HELP!!!

Matt: *shoves under bed*

Near: It's dusty down here!!!

Matt: Your fur's all wet and dripping!!!

Me: I bet Linda and her gang of disgusting sissy girls must have slobbered all over him. Eww...

Matt: Linda's a jerk.

Mello: Lol, Near will be a grey puffball tomorrow!!!

Me: Shuddup and let me think of a cure.

Mello: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: *wears earplugs while formulating a "plan"*

Matt: *climbs into bunk* This is the first time I actually sleep. Wish me luck guys!!! :D

Mello: zzzzzzz.....

Me: WHY DO I HAVE THE FLOOR??? YOU DON'T MOP IT AT ALL!!!

Mello: zzzzzzz.....

Matt: *shivering uncontrollably in a nightmare* No... no... save the PSP somebody!!!! SAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Uhh...

Near: Help!!

Me: *digs Near out from under the bed* You're all grey and dusty.

Near: I hope you don't have a dust mite allergy.

Me: No. Just dust BUNNIES.

Near: ... o_O

Me: *pulls out box from cupboard* Here. Sleep in this.

Near: Uhh... *jumps into box to prevent any further mental damage* Ok.

Me: *closes box and stuffs back into cupboard*

Near: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Me: And now to formulate the... *drops to ground* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

I'm a evil jerk who falls asleep before I can get any work done!!! Any guesses what the cure is? R&R to answer plz! =D