"We can talk in here," Tali said as she keyed the security code on the door panel next to her quarters. "I swept for bugs."

"I remember, right after you came aboard." Garrus said.

"I meant last night."

"Oh. Did you find any?"

"No, but I'm not taking any chances. You shouldn't either."

That Cerberus monitored all activity on the ship was not a secret, and for the more paranoid minded of the crew it was almost a game to see who could find and destroy the most cameras and microphones. For Garrus, though, it didn't matter. EDI's universal presence on the ship meant none of them really had privacy to begin with. But more than that, he simply wasn't afraid of what Cerberus knew about him or his activities. If they were spying on him, that meant they were afraid of him.

He liked it that way.

He stopped in the door and looked around the quarian's room. Like his own berth, it had a single bunk, a desk and chair, and a locker. But unlike his own spartan quarters, Tali had covered nearly every centimeter of every surface with colorful fabrics and weaves, even over the lights in the ceiling. The entire room was bathed in a kaleidoscopic glow from the overhead lamps as well as countless diodes and panel displays that glittered from every wall. Elastic cargo nets slung between walls held a bizarre array of electronic and mechanical components, tools and containers. It was as if an electronics factory had collided with a linen store, with the resulting explosion funneled into Tali's quarters.

"There could be an entire listening post hidden in here and you'd never know it," he said.

Tali put her hands on her hips and waited for the turian to finish.

Garrus took a step, then shielded his eyes. "Woah, I'm getting dizzy. Someone must have slipped some red sand in my breakfast."

"I didn't bring you here so you could make fun of my berth."

"I know, but it's here, I'm here... I'd hate to waste the opportunity." Garrus leaned closer to a wall to inspect a device in one of the nets. About half of the connections leading from the small, spherical instrument dangled into open air, yet it still was powered on and doing... something. "What is this thing? A reaper egg? Where do you get all of this stuff?"

Tali tapped a finger rhythmically against her suit, a sound ominously similar to a mechanical timer.

Garrus smiled. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

"Well it worked. Instead of being mad at Miranda, now I'm mad at you."

Garrus stepped around a storage crate, took a seat in the desk chair and looked up at Tali. "Well, let's get you mad at Miranda again. Tell me what happened."

"Oh, this is a good one," Tali sat on the bed across from him. "So today, Gabby comes on shift and tells me that Miranda has Kenneth and her on some kind of disciplinary restriction because of work I had them do on the drive core."

"What kind of work?"

"Nothing major, coil alignment and timing adjustments mostly. Upped mass effect output by almost three percent. I think if we make some mechanical adjustments, we might get four or five."

"Impressive. Miranda had a problem with that?"

"Violation of Cerberus protocol. Apparently as chief engineer I can't order my subordinates to make adjustments to the engines without filling out the proper forms."

"Well it is their ship."

"I know. Miranda made that very clear to me," Tali leaned back against the wall. "Ugh. Every time I hear her name, I want to spit. I may end up drowning before the day is over. The point is not only did she avoid telling me about it directly, she waited until Shepard was off the ship to enforce it because she knows he wouldn't let it stand. I mean, she's been complicating things from the start, questioning every one of my decisions, but this is going too far. She can't punish me, so she's taking it out on them. Plus..." She shook her head and looked away.

"Go on," Garrus urged.

"She's a bitch!"

Garrus's jaw dropped. Tali's catalog of insults and swearing was usually limited to obscure quarian phrases to soften the blow of the person she was insulting, to reduce offense. For her to use a common expletive was tantamount to a declaration of war.

"She thinks she knows everything and lives to correct people," Tali said. "She never talks to anybody unless it's to complain, and I've never heard her once say anything nice about anybody. Even her own people are afraid of her. I've met geth who are friendlier than she is."

A chime erupted from the door panel, bringing Tali's tirade to a premature halt. Mordin Solus appeared in a small holo window.

"Come in, Professor," Tali called out.

The door opened and the salarian's huge eyes blinked rapidly as he took in the room. "Oh my, this is... hypnotic."

"What can I do for you?" Tali said, refusing to be baited.

Mordin stood transfixed for a moment, then jerked as if awakening from a dream. "Oh! Sorry. Hate to intrude. Looking for Mr. Vakarian."

Garrus, sitting in plain sight, waved an arm over his head. "Over here, Doc!"

"Ah. Didn't see you. Disoriented momentarily. Please keep moving. Must maintain spatial reference."

Tali sighed.

"I thought I was on red sand when I saw it," Garrus said.

"No, no, no. Red sand, stimulant." Mordin sniffed deeply. "This visage indicative of a potent hallucinogenic."

Tali rested her hands behind her head and closed her eyes. "You both must really hate having air conditioning in your quarters. I'll take care of that when we're done here."

"Hmm," Garrus said. "I think we've exhausted the topic of decor. What can I do for you, Professor?"

Mordin cleared his throat and produced his datapad from his lab coat. "Just received reprimand from Cerberus. Attempted to acquire new phase scanning array for the lab. Purchase canceled by Operative Lawson."

Garrus exchanged a glance with Tali and took the pad to read the email. He shook his head. "'Henceforth, all purchases and procurements are to be made through the appropriate Cerberus resources.' She is really trying hard today, isn't she?"

"Unacceptable," Mordin said. "Grossly inefficient. No time to wait for budget committee approval."

Tali shook her head. "She put both of my people under house arrest for making the ship run more efficiently."

"Apparently attempting to exert authority in Shepard's absence."

"Well I told her she's not in charge of me. She's crazy if she thinks acting like this is going to make us more cooperative."

Garrus read through the email once more then looked at his companions. "We really can't do anything until Shepard gets back. When he does, I'll fill him in on what's going on."

"When is the Commander due, if I may ask?" Mordin asked hopefully.

Garrus checked his chronometer. "Twenty-four to thirty-six hours."

"Hmm," Mordin rubbed his chin. "Need for scanner array urgent. Vital research dependent on it. Can't wait that long."

Garrus stood and handed the datapad back to the salarian. "I tell you what. I've got some calibrations to wrap up, then I'll go talk to her and see if I can expedite your scanner. Maybe I can find out where all of this is coming from."

"Thank you, Garrus. Was brushed off by Lawson. Would not grant an audience. Wish you better luck."

Tali rolled her eyes. "Hopefully she won't throw him in the brig for having an unscheduled meeting."

"Normandy has no brig," Mordin said, rubbing his chin again. "Suggest detention in a compartment where normal visual cues are useless-"

"Stop it," Tali growled, "right there!"

Garrus looked at Mordin with an embarrassed expression. "I think we've taken this one as far as it can go. Your room looks quite nice, Tali. Sorry."

Mordin nodded and bowed to Tali. "Garrus is correct. Joke's concluded, no offense intended. Apologies as well."

"Thank you," Tali said. "Apologies accepted."

"Back to work then," Garrus turned and walked toward the exit. He stopped suddenly mid-step, his arms outstretched. "Help me find the door, Doc."