Chapter 2: Aftermath

"She's in surgery, we can't tell you anything more at this moment", that's all I could get out of anyone. No one would tell me where she was, if she was ok, or even if she was alive. Kate's father and I waited together in silence for a doctor to come see us. Lanie was around somewhere in search of a coffee or tea, anything to have a bit of a distraction. Esposito and Ryan had gone back to the cemetery in search of something that would lead us to whoever had done this. They expected us to call the second we heard anything. My mom and Alexis had finally gone home after a lot of convincing. They were tired and needed rest. However they were going to take care of a few things then rest and they would return.

We were sitting in a small waiting area inside ICU. It wasn't a large room, just enough room to seat a little under a dozen people waiting for news on their loved ones. The perimeter was lined with silver folding chairs which discouraged long seating. The walls were painted a glossy white that reflected the four rectangular lights that were attached to the ceiling. In the center of the room was a table which had scattered magazines on top of it.

ICU was a very active place. There were lots of nurses and doctors rushing back and forth in their hospital attire. Each doctor that walked by made my heart jump. I hoped one of them was Kate's doctor and that they were coming out with some good news for us. Any news would be appreciated. The last I had seen of her was when they were driving off with her in the ambulance. Once we had arrived we were informed she was in surgery that could take anywhere from one hour to several hours depending on the placement of the bullet. They wouldn't know what they were up against until they had started the surgery.

We'd been waiting for what felt like an eternity. My watch said 7:37, I had no idea if that was morning or evening. I had lost all sense of time. I started counting tiles, first the ones on the floor, then I moved on to the ceiling, 1, 382 combined. There were 8 magazines on the table, none of interest to me, however I had skimmed through them all between breaks of pacing back and forth. Lanie brought us coffee to help keep our mind off everything. However, all I could think when I saw the cup was how I always bought two, one for me, one for Kate. One milk, one sugar is how she liked it. The last cup of coffee I had bought for her she never even drank. She had been off at the jail for her weekly visit to Lockwood. I wish Lockwood were still alive so I could torture him myself. He was the one that started all of this. He was the reason Montgomery was killed, and why Kate was in the hospital fighting for her life. I left the coffee on the table next to me, I couldn't bring myself to drink it. This type of situation always steals your appetite away. Also, the hospital smell surrounding you for hours doesn't help either. Being in a hospital always leaves me with an uneasy feeling. Sitting and staring at blank walls doesn't leave you with much to do but think. It makes your mind wander to the worst possible scenarios.

Shortly after 9 Kate's father got called out of the room. The doctor wanted to speak to him in private. It was impossible to read emotions in the doctor's face. He talked in monotone and had a great poker face. Under better circumstances he would have been a great addition to my poker night. He didn't give any sign on if he was about to give Jim Beckett good news about his daughter, or bad. The doctor didn't have a connection to Kate so there was no reason why he would be showing any type of emotions. Kate was just another patient to him, taking up another bed, needing his care. He deals with grieving families every day, he couldn't let himself get emotionally attached to them all.

"She's out of surgery, they only let me see her for a second", Jim Beckett said as he returned to the room. Before he left with the doctor he was in a state of shock. He barely moved from the moment we got here, just sat in his seat in a daze. When he returned his manner was changed. He was more on edge, worried, upset. He couldn't sit down, all he kept doing was pacing around the room in circles. Each time he reached the door he would look out, in search of something. The doctors had told him the next 24 hours were critical. It took all my strength not to stand by the door and look out as well. I don't know what I would be looking for but it just seemed like something that would calm me.

The doctors wouldn't let anyone into see her yet until the anaesthesia wore off. From what Jim had seen, she was lying motionless hooked up to several machines. Seeing his daughter that way had really shaken him up. No one wants to see their loved one in that condition, but it seems much worse when it's your child. They are supposed to outlive you and always remain healthy and safe. When Alexis received a few stitches at the hospital after she fell on some ice I had been beside myself with worry. I didn't sleep for 3 nights after even though she was home safe and sound. I kept sneaking into her room every half hour to check on her and make sure she was okay.

At 12:17 a doctor finally came into the room and said we could see her but only one visitor at a time. Jim looked at me and said: "You go first".