Chapter 2
I didn't mean for it to be this way. I had meant to kiss boys and do normal girlie things, but when I joined the army I was so young and I devoted myself wholeheartedly to becoming a phenomenal soldier...and it just never happened. By the time I graduated I was too in love with one man to think about anyone else.
So it doesn't really come as a surprise that I have never kissed someone.
But kissing him is really everything I had dreamed it would be.
I nearly faint, but he is quick to scoop me up and carry me into the castle calling to Erd and Gunter to go and tie up my assailants and for Hanji to come and help him. Just like a valiant prince, only slightly shorter.
I vaguely remember Hanji nursing me and a doctor from the closest village coming in, but beyond that all I remember is Levi.
He left me alone to recover which is most certainly the best thing. Auruo kept on bringing me flowers no matter how many times I said I was fine or that I frankly didn't want them.
More than anything I wanted to know what was to be done with the two men and what I had to do with it. Hanji said there was going to be a trial and that she would take care of me so "I wasn't to worry myself with the assholes". Her words, not mine.
I would get so tired watching her buzz around in her overly excited manner and speak with her hyperactive mind. She does care for me while I recover from my head injury, which takes little less than a week, and I owe her for her kindness.
In that time I consider confiding in her about my feelings for Levi and hear what she has to say about the kissing incident. I resolve to tell her more than once and yet find myself unable to speak about it. It isn't that I don't trust her, since I trust her with my life, but it seems so fragile and precious (not to mention terrifying) that I can't risk crushing it.
I think about this as the courtroom fills with people. It's the military court since we discovered that the two men were military police, only adding to the general confusion about the topic. I sit with Hanji and Erwin since he was called out to watch the proceedings. Across the room are the military police with their green unicorns and pretentious attitudes. I try to trample down all disdain I hold since they are soldiers too and I should respect them deeply for their protection of the King and their enforcement of law and order. Somehow, today, my resolve falls short.
Hanji asked if I would like to put on makeup to cover the bruises on my face but I chose not to. I feel as though the act of exposing their guilt is an accusation that is indisputable. I hold my head high and have my hair tucked behind my ears to proudly show them their fine work.
I do my best to not search out Levi. I try not to look around when I notice his absence and I mostly stop myself from flinging my eyes to the door every time it opens. I haven't seen him since that night and the longer I don't see him the longer I doubt what transpired between us. It could have been just a fleeting moment of emotion.
He is your senior officer, your squad leader, there is no way any such thing would be appropriate.
I tell myself this every time my mind wanders and ends up on him.
The doors open and the judge comes in, shortly followed by the two men and...
Levi.
I breathe in sharply when I see him. He follows behind the two men, who are now in uniform, and then breaks off and heads towards the Scout Regiment's side: right towards me.
I smile at him and he nods in return before seating himself next to Commander Erwin on the end. I hold tight to my beating heart knowing that he is only one person away from me, the closest I've been to him since sitting on his lap and kissing him.
This really isn't the place to blush Petra.
"Be seated," says the judge in an impersonal way. I know him, and the Commander knows him too. I have been briefed on what to say and when. I know there will be some banter between the Survey Corps and the Military Police, but with my friends backing me I am not afraid.
I fidget a little, playing with the buttons on my uniform to keep my tension at bay. I think public speaking is right up there with my worst fears of being eaten alive by a titan, but at least with titans I can just aim for the backs of their neck and trust my instincts to survive. Here, I am at a disadvantage.
The judge confirms their identities, (something like Keenan and Robert but I really am so distracted I can't be sure) and lists out the crimes they are accused of: Assault, attempted kidnapping, and unlawful confinement are thrown around although some of the Military Police's more novice jurors loudly complain at the last one. They are soldiers like I am and so I really shouldn't look at them with such disdain, I remind myself.
So the formalities are placed out and I am preparing myself to testify when one of the prisoners suddenly speaks up. I swallow to try and calm the feeling of being sick to my stomach when all the breath leaves my body at my assailants' words: "Sir, we are here to plead guilty of all charges."
The courtroom as a whole gasps.
The formal proceedings aren't even complete yet!
The room is a rumble of hushed voices urgently speaking to one another. I look searchingly at Hanji but her mouth hangs agape and she just shakes her head at me, her usual carefree expression gone. I look at Erwin and Levi and see they are deep in conversation. I then do the one thing that is more informative than anything else: I look at the Military Police.
Not a single one of them is surprised.
Is this some kind of a plan perpetrated by the Military Police?
A man from the MP stands up and addresses the bench, "Sir, the matter seems to be open and shut. It is the role of the Military Police to handle all punishment of those in the corps so we move to have these men bound and delivered into our custody."
This is too much. I worry what Erwin and Levi will do, I can't claim either are a hothead but in a situation like this...
"Is that not the most obvious conflict of interest?!" I am startled by the sudden shouting beside me and I look to my left to see Hanji on her feet and yelling at the man.
"Hanji, sit down," I tug at her pant leg but she just swats my hand away impatiently. Her eyes are full of a scary kind of anger: an anger that tends to draw blood.
"Hanji," a deep voice commands next to me. I turn to see Erwin is also standing and has his eyes glued to Hanji. His tone and look are severe making me want to shy away. Again, diplomacy is not really my strong suit.
"Hanji," he repeats, "That's enough."
Her anger then turns on the Commander, "But Erwin what is this? You can't deny the fact that this is a severe conflict of interest? Heck, they probably arranged for the attack on Petra!" Her voice echoes through the otherwise silent courtroom. I begin to feel kind of dizzy.
Erwin's voice is quiet, "Stand down, squad leader. Leave this courtroom, and take Petra with you." His eye are glowing but they no longer look at Hanji, they bore into the head of the MP Commander with is distinctly not making eye contact. Instead he is staring at the judge who just seems content to watch the little soap opera play out. He strokes his well-kept beard and nods at us as dismissal. I look back at Erwin, his light eyes afire. His blond hair is neatly tucked back, and when it begins to come loose I can see how quietly frazzled he is.
"Commander, don't you think I should be here?" I ask quietly as some ambient noise returns to the courtroom. I try not to be startled when I see Levi lean forwards and rest his arms on the railing in front of us. His eyes are downcast but I can tell that he is thinking about how much he wants to jump the railing and pummel the military police. His jaw is tight and I can see the tendons pulled like violin strings in his neck. I wish I could comfort him and tell him that I'm not upset so he shouldn't be either. But that would be inappropriate, especially here of all places.
"No Petra, I do not think you should be here." Commander looks sternly at the Judge from under his bushy eyebrows while speaking to me. "Please take Hanji outside with you."
I look back at Hanji to see her partially unhinged. It's like she doesn't know who to direct her anger at first and is stuck turning in circles. I grab her clenched hand to keep her from doing something more rash than what has already happened. I find I can easily pull her away from the Recon Corps and into the back of the courtroom, and finally through a small door. I look back before latching the door shut to see Levi's head lifted in my direction. His eyes look bluer in the light of day and I can never decide if his eyes are blue or grey. I like always checking to see their colour though.
I find myself smiling to a shut door as Hanji lets loose her internal rage.
"How can they allow such an obvious flaw in justice?!" she yells into the empty hallway. The light spills through the skylights lining the hall and all I can do is watch Hanji and her wrath.
"It's okay Hanji, I'm sure it'll be okay," I coo to her to try and stop her from screaming.
She grabs me by the shoulders, "You don't seem to understand Petra, this isn't just about you! This is a direct attack by the Military Police on the most elite squad in the Scouting Corps! Don't you see?" She searches my eyes and not finding the response she wanted to see she leads me right to it.
"Petra, this is a direct assault on the Scouting Corps as a whole. This is a threat, that if they can hurt you no one is safe! I don't know what their end plan is, but it can't be good!"
She waits, as realization begins to tug at the edges of my consciousness. "You aren't safe Petra! Just because they didn't succeed in capturing you doesn't mean that will stop them!"
I just stare at her as I realize what she is saying.
The Military Police orchestrated my attack to achieve some unknown goal.
And since I'm still here it seems like they didn't accomplish what they set out to do.
That means that they will try again.
