Hello dear readers! Welcome back to the next chapter of Mental Edness! Anyways, Chapter 2 is significantly shorter than the last chapter. Additionally, just to let you all know, the tone may change radically in the future from slapstick to serious. Let me know if it feels too disjointed.


Mental Edness

Chapter 2

Over the next few weeks, it became obvious to everyone that Double D was the smart one, whereas Ed's strength was unmatched and Eddy's wits were in a class of their own.

It was another day, the Eds (as they were collectively known) were in the cafeteria eating. Eddy had a burger and fries, Edd had a bowl full of gravy and some buttered toast, and Edd was eating an apple and a small salad.

Eddy was the first to break the comfortable silence, though it was through a mouthful of food much to the gap-toothed boy's chagrin. "So, have you met the shrink yet?"

Double D swallowed before replying. "No, but I believe I have an appointment today at 1:30 pm sharp. Ed, good heavens! What are you doing?!"

The Ed in question looked up from his bowl of gravy he had been slurping out of like a dog. "I am not Ed. I am Barkzilla, the Seven-Headed Demon Beast from Jupiter!"

Edd smacked a hand over his face and mumbled something like 'You just had to ask...'.

"Don't worry, Dr. Rhodes is a pushover." Eddy remarked, back on topic.

"Heya Dreamboat." A voice purred into his ear from behind him. Hairs on the back of his neck raised up in caution. He knew that voice.

Turning around, Edd started sweating and trembling. "O-oh dear."

He locked eyes with the blunette of the Kankers.

Eddy took this opportunity to yell out "Kankers! Every man for himself!" as he took off running.

Ed was right behind him repeating "Mushy girl germs are bad for Ed!"

They didn't even notice that Marie was alone today. Edd actually took the time to notice that she was wearing orange, much like he was. Her face was adorned with an amorous smirk, but her visible eye looked strange. A hint of something else, perhaps?

"Come on, Muffin. Let's find somewhere private to 'talk'."

Double D turned bright red at this as the girl dragged him off by his legs. "Really now, Marie. I assure you that I am quite comfortable here in the cafeteria." He begged, as he kept trying to grab tables or chairs. "The floor is unclean!" His pleas fell on deaf ears though.


She drug him all the way to the library, and Double D gulped when he realized that not another soul was in the room. She dropped him, before turning around and jumping onto him.

"Listen up, Hot Stuff! I'm feeling lenient today, so I'll give you a choice." She paused for dramatic effect. "Either I kiss you repeatedly, or we can just play a game instead." Marie batted her visible eyelash at Eddward.

"Well, umm,... due to our c-current circumstances, I would say a game would be a most enjoyable alternative."

Marie's face lit up. "You really mean it?"

Double D cracked a gap-toothed grin at the girl before him. "Certainly. I do not believe that a game could be too terrible. Which board game are we playing?"

"No Silly, we're not playing a board game! Have you ever played 'Red Light, Green Light'?" Edd's puzzled expression said it all.

Minutes later, the two had gotten up and stood some 20 feet apart as Marie explained the rules. "Okay, the goal is to tag who's 'it'. The it person will only shout out either 'Red Light' or 'Green Light'. On 'Green Light' the other person can move, but on 'Red Light', they have to freeze. Any movement before the next 'Green Light' causes them to lose, and if they touch who's 'it', then they win. Got it?" Edd nodded, and the game began with Edd as 'it'.

Marie started towards her 'muffin' when he nervously said "Umm, Green Light?"

She advanced towards him, but as soon as Edd yelled out "Red Light!", the Kanker girl was stopped as if frozen about 15 feet away. Then, the game continued. "Green Light!" "Red light!" About 10 feet away. 'This is actually pretty fun!' Double D thought to himself. "Green Light!" She had moved up to about 5 feet away. "Red Light!" A weird thing happened, she didn't stop this time.

"Red Light!" He tried again. 'Why wasn't it working?' He thought to himself. "Red Light! Red-oof!" He yelled before he was tackled to the ground. Marie's face was mere inches away from his.

"I win." She breathed out huskily.

"B-but by your own stated rules, you were disqualified, which by default means I am the winner."

The Blunette tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm... You're right, Double D. You won. Ready for your present?"

A realization slowly dawned on the young teen. She had tricked him! There was no real choice! That was the last thing on his mind before he was accosted with a smattering of unwanted affection. She sauntered away with a care-free laugh, as Edd watched her go, lipstick adorning his face.

He laid in the floor, thinking about what had transpired.

'The nerve of that girl! Just doing whatever she wants with blatant disregard for the consequences!' He looked up towards the clock, and much to his dismay, it was 1:25 p.m.. He jumped up and sped towards his appointment. If there was one thing Double D hated, it was uncleanliness. If there were two things he hated, it was uncleanliness and tardiness.


"Well, Eddward, how are you adjusting to life here?"

The doctor was exactly how Double D pictured him. He was a tall, lanky man who appeared to be in his late forties. His hairline was receding, and so the rest of it was cut short. He kept a well-trimmed goatee, and all of his hair appeared to be gray with patches of white. He was writing things down on a clipboard.

Brought out of his thoughts of Marie and the library, Double D nervously replied, "Well... U-umm, it is very new to me. I'm not sure if I've ever been around this many people at once before. I was homeschooled. My parents had tutors sent for me."

The doctor scribbled something down. "And are the other residents treating you well?" The Q&A portion went on for about half an hour, before the Doctor prescribed him some medicine for his various anxieties and assigning Double D his own room.

Meanwhile, Ed and Eddy had finally realized they were not being pursued today and stopped running. "Do you think Double D is okay, Eddy?" Ed asked with a worried tone.

"Umm, I'm sure Sockhead's just fine. Now come on, I need your help with something." the shorter boy replied, before leading him off.


Lee Kanker sat upon Eddy after ruining his latest attempt to "scam" the other kids. He had decided to pose as a psychic, all to get a few quarters. This might have worked had May and her not been the first people to walk by.

"Stupid Kanker! Get offa me!" The short boy struggled, but could not get free.

"Aww, what's a matter Little Man? You wanted to tell people about the future, and look, your future is right here! Isn't that right May?"

She looked towards the blonde in question who had a death grip on Ed. "It sure is, Lee!"

Just then, Marie yelled from around the corner, "Hey guys! The monster truck rally is about to come on, and that bald kid with the board is hogging the tv!"

Lee stood up, as May let go of her man. "Playtime's over boys! We'll see y'all later!" The redhead said as they stormed off.

"Good riddance!" Eddy sneered after they left. "Dames! Who needs 'em? Right Lumpy?"

He looked towards the taller boy who was still frozen in the same place he had been in with May. "Ed?"

Eddy waved a hand in front of his face, but the giant was staring unblinking into space, as if in a trance. He tried snapping his fingers, then clapping his hands, then yelling right in his ear to no avail. A fly buzzed around, and seeing a perfect place to land, did so on Ed's head. The added weight made him crash down as if a bowling ball hit him.

He shattered into pieces, like a piece of glass, before jumping back up (together again) and shouting out "Ahh! Girls are soft and scary, Eddy!"

"That they are, Monobrow. That they are." He replied as the walked off in search of their missing friend.

Maybe just for a tiny fraction of a nano-second, Eddy had thought about what Lee had said and he envisioned a future with her. His gut had a weird feeling, and he shook the thought clear of his head.


Bedtime for Double D was strange. He finally had his own room, next to Eddy's. He was alone again, for the first time since his admittance here, besides restroom breaks and showers, of course. He thought of the chaotic turn that his life had taken since he arrived at the hospital. He went from having no friends to having two best friends, and even a stalker. Thoughts of the blue-haired girl were mixed at best. How could someone be that domineering? She was forceful, and crafty, and rude! She didn't respect privacy (or personal space) at all. Edd's daily time reserved for showering had almost doubled due to the Kanker leaving him feeling unclean.

It was strange, being touched by someone else. Whether it be by being dragged, or tackled, or just a kiss on the cheek, it was a queer feeling in the teen's gut. Edd tried to think of the last time physical contact had happened with either of his parents, but was unable to. 'Perhaps an awkward brush of hands as I handed Father his mail?' Double D mused to himself. Shrugging the thought from his mind, he turned over and drifted off to sleep.


Please read and review! Not just on my story either!

Keep our community alive! Edd/Marie fics are in short supply these days... So let people know how their stories are, offer constructive criticism, tell them what you'd like to see!

And write! If there's a story/one-shot in your head, don't be afraid to try and get it out there!

[/end rant]

I guess read, write, and review would be more appropriate.