2. The Bluest of Wolves
Jacob felt Leah's terror, he felt her revulsion. He felt the tiny part of her that had worked out that there was indeed another way that she could get around Sam's order.
Leah, just wait, he begged as he picked up the pace, racing towards her. A heavy rain began to fall as the festering storm erupted around them. Please wait for me and we'll kill it together.
Leah was dashing back in his direction. The vampire was flitting around in the trees above them. The stench was overwhelming. The pack had learned after the Newborn War that the Cullens, offensive as they were, had a milder odour to those that fed on humans. The vampire they were pursuing was definitely not a vegetarian.
Leah reached the clearing between them right as the bloodsucker darted to the ground. She paused for a moment. How exactly did you ask a leech to rough you up enough to not have to watch the love of your life marry another? She was torn between the instinct to destroy the enemy and the hopeless conclusion she had reached earlier that day: she might not actually have anything left worth fighting for.
The vampire sized her up, smiling to reveal her fangs.
Please Leah, she heard Jacob plead.
"Here doggy" the vampire beckoned, her voice scratching like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Leah fought impulse and waited for the attack. It would be a relief to have a physical wound to match the gaping one inside of her. She needed this.
The vampire was fast, but Jacob was faster. He reached Leah moments before the bloodsucker, shoving her into the bushes skirting the clearing.
You might not want to live but I sure as shit won't watch you die, Jacob roared in her mind.
Leah groaned as she rolled on the ground. He might be saving her, but the force of his protective strike was paralysing. She watched through the pack mind as Jacob ran in pursuit of the vampire who had already hightailed it back south as soon as Jacob's wolf had arrived. She heard Jacob notice that the hair of the vampire was a deep brown with red highlights.
Just like Bella's.
She felt Jacob take in the slim form of the predator he was nearing as he scampered along the forest floor.
Just like Bella.
She listened as Jacob asked himself a million questions in the time it took the vampire to turn around to face him.
If Bella changed on the first night of her honeymoon could this be her? If it was, then Edward didn't screw up and kill her. Not exactly. What was she doing here? Where were the Cullens?
All of Jacob's nightmares flooded into Leah. Bella as an undead predator, cold and cruel. Bella smelling wrong, fangs dripping with crimson. Bella killing Charlie and Billy. Him killing Bella. Leah hadn't realised just how much thought Jacob had given to what Bella turning into a vampire might actually mean. His heartache was crippling.
The vampire slinked up towards Jake, her red eyes blazing. Jacob's wolf eyes blinked and he fell on his hind legs stretching out his paws in supplication. It didn't look like his Bella, but it wouldn't would it?
Jake it's not her! Focus! Leah clasped at her side and limped towards them. She howled, alerting the wolfpack to the threat, her strangled cry chiming along with the resonating thunder.
Jacob hesitated and the vampire took the opportunity to claw him with both hands, scratching down from his cheeks to his chest with a savage intensity that left him with mirroring wounds down each side of his wolf. Bleeding and breathless, he let out a low groan and sank to his belly.
Bella I love you, Leah heard him murmur.
It's NOT BELLA Jake! Get up and rip her head off! Leah was running again now, ignoring the pain raking through her. She reached the scene of the attack just in time to watch through both her own eyes and Jacob's as the vampire pounced on his back, lodging her heeled boots in his fur, dislocating his left shoulder and cracking his spine.
Leah jumped straight for them and bared her teeth, ripping at the vampire's neck and severing head from body. The corpse bounced away from them, arms and legs still flailing, landing a kick to Leah's abdomen which made her dizzy and nauseas. She launched herself up again as the headless predator blindly crawled towards its skull. She tore at the leg that struck her, shaking her head backwards so as to toss it as far away as possible. Part of her wanted to stop and nurse her injured belly, but a glance towards Jacob's exposed and listless wolf told her that she couldn't. She channelled the vicious rage that pulsed through her veins– so often she had nowhere to direct it - shredding another leg and two arms until the dismembered body was writhing on the ground. She phased instantly and ran to Jake's side.
"It's over," she said, stroking his fur cautiously. "Phase back now so the others don't know." Jacob whimpered and slowly, agonisingly, pulled himself back into his human form.
"Good going," Leah whispered softly. "I promise it wasn't her." God, he was almost as fucked up as she was, and at least twice as stupid.
"Bella," Jake cried. Leah moved to cradle him in her arms. The wounds on his face were weeping and the blood mingled with Jacob's own tears and the rain that sheeted down against them.
"No, not Bella," Leah said evenly. "Bella has a heart shaped face, that girl had a square jaw. Look." Leah pointed towards the head of the decapitated leech. It was screaming obscenities in what sounded like Russian. "Since when is Bella bilingual, huh?" she continued. Jacob's breathing steadied a little. "And look at the outfit! When has Bella ever been one to wear head to toe leather and fuck me boots?" Leah asked.
"Bella," Jake repeated, his eyes rolling backwards.
"Stay with me Jake," Leah yelled. "Keep your fucking eyes open!" She was worried now. Could a wolf survive a spinal injury? Everything else healed, but did the spine? She probably shouldn't have moved him. What if she'd paralysed him?
Leah was aware of the sound of approaching wolves. "Come on Jake, help's nearly here."
Where the fuck was Sam when she needed him? The least the asshole could do was order Jake not to die.
She spotted Paul's wolf as he bounded towards them. He phased and pulled a lighter from the cutoffs tied to his leg, searching for a more sheltered space to start a fire. Leah ignored him and kept murmuring to Jacob.
"It's gonna be okay, Jake." A purple haze surrounded them as the remains of the vampire smouldered underneath an overhanging rock nearby.
She could hear the footfall of more wolves but she didn't bother to see who it was. She wiped the hair from Jacob's forehead as he convulsed and drifted into unconsciousness. "I'll kill you if you die!" She yelled at him.
"Move Leah," Embry barked at her as he and Seth arrived. Leah ignored them and kept rocking Jacob back and forth.
"Looks bad," Seth said.
"He's had worse," Paul remarked. Leah cringed. The last time it had been her fault. When she thought about it, it was pretty much her fault this time as well. If she'd waited like Jacob asked then she could have helped him see that the vampire wasn't Bella and he wouldn't have been alone and defenceless when the idiotic thought popped up in his head.
"Unless you're planning on breastfeeding him Clearwater, you're going to need to let go so we can help him out," Paul snarked. Even in a crisis Paul couldn't hide his lecherous nature. He might have imprinted, but he was still a pervert. He was just a pervert that wanted to go home to only Rachel Black.
Leah was suddenly aware that she was very naked and holding an equally nude Jacob in her arms. She eased herself back and felt Seth press his shirt into her hands.
"Thanks Sethy," she murmured, pulling her brother's large black top over her shoulders. Luckily Seth was so big these days that his t-shirts covered everything that needed to be covered on her. "Jake's back might be broken," she mumbled.
Seth squeezed her shoulder. "I'm gonna phase so we can get a car out here. Maybe we can get Mom and Dr Cullen to look at him before we try getting him home".
Embry patted her shoulder softly. "Are you hurt Leah?" She winced as his hand ran along the right side of her body. She was already starting to bruise where she fell and the pain in her stomach was excruciating.
"I'll live," she mumbled. She didn't know exactly how she felt about that right now.
She watched as Jake's breathing became uneven. Paul was stooped over whispering something in his ear. She wobbled as she tried to make her way back to them.
"Easy there," Embry cautioned, snaking his arm around her waist to steady her. Leah was torn between the need to collapse completely and the desire to slap him in the face. She was tired and everything had happened so fast, but she was not a hugger. Other than Seth, she never hugged anyone anymore.
"Hands off the merchandise, Call!" She snapped. "I just fought a vampire. Do you think you could leave feeling me up for a more appropriate time? Like, never ever?" Embry shot her a wounded glare and raised his arms in surrender. Leah felt a surge of power. She could get through this. She was in control.
Seth rejoined them, absentmindedly pulling a twig from his hair. "Jared, Colin and Brady are running the perimeter. Paul, Sam wants you to join them. Embry you've been tasked with taking Leah to Sam for a debrief. My Mom's on her way, we're going to take Jake to Dr Cullen, seeing as he has an X-ray machine in his basement. I'll call Quil but he probably can't-"
"No way," Leah interrupted. "I'm going with Jake to see Dr Fang." She couldn't leave him alone and risk him telling someone that she had tried to get herself killed and then he'd had a complete meltdown because a vampire's hair reminded him of Bella. They were both going to have to get their stories straight to prevent exposure. And ridicule.
"For fuck's sake Leah – can't you just do what you're told for once!" Paul exploded.
Leah felt her legs wobbling again and she leaned on the nearest tree before they could betray her.
Embry eyed her carefully. "She might actually need medical attention, Paul."
Leah bristled, preparing to attack Embry for talking about her like she wasn't standing right in front of them. She managed to catch herself just before the tirade escaped. Embry was giving her an out here. She just had to play it up a little and they'd let her stay with Jake. Do your best impersonation of wounded and helpless, she told herself. She tried to grab her stomach the way Bella Swan used to. She had seen the memory in Jacob's head a thousand times, her arms wrapped around her small frame as if she was literally trying to hold herself together. She stared at the ground not making eye contact with any of them. It felt all wrong. Leah always looked everyone right in the eye. To make things worse, her stomach actually did really hurt.
"Leah?" She could hear the worry in Seth's voice. She slumped her shoulder and bit down on her lower lip. Paul swore under his breath. "Look at her! Geez! She's coming with us." Seth continued.
"I'll tell Sam," Embry agreed.
Leah marvelled at what she could accomplish via silence rather than abuse. She was an in your face, tell-it-like-it-is kind of girl and unashamedly assertive and pushy. She far preferred people to see her as a bitch than needy or weak. Despite this, as far as the pack was concerned, when she asked for things without getting into a temper, no one paid much attention to the things she wanted. Not that she wanted anything much. She had to yell to be heard and even if they acquiesced, they almost always found a way to let her know just how inconvenient she was, just like Paul had right now. It boggled Leah's mind that, in contrast to their treatment of her, they all fell over themselves to satisfy the whims – no matter how unreasonable – of their imprints, all of whom where undeniably submissive women (Rachel had her moments but she had nothing on Paul). It seemed that the punishment for being a strong woman was to be rendered voiceless by the mob, a situation that was all the more unbearable because she was so naturally dominant.
Tonight she'd play submissive if got her what she wanted. It would be a one-time thing.
Sue arrived not long after, barking instructions about how to lift Jacob without doing more damage to his neck and back. Leah and Jacob were bundled into the back of Bella's old truck which had made its way back to La Push when Edward had decided it wasn't fancy enough for his bride to be.
"Bella," Jacob stirred.
"Nah, just her truck," Leah corrected him, hoping he didn't make a stupid comment in front of everyone about the vampire they had just killed. "It probably smells like her," she added to the other three wolves. Paul rolled his eyes but Embry and Seth looked at Jacob sympathetically.
Seth jumped in front with her mother and Paul and Embry phased and headed back to the reservation.
Leah watched as sweat rolled across Jacob's face. She put her hand to his brow.
"Bet you actually feel a bit better having a physical reason to feel like shit," she joked. He didn't respond and she wondered if he could hear her.
The Cullens were waiting for them outside their mansion when they arrived. Leah could feel Jacob's discomfort as he was lifted by the leeches and she grabbed his hand reflexively. She didn't want to be there either. There was something so unnatural about them. She couldn't understand how humans didn't see it. The pale skin, the grating voices, the way that they sometimes forgot to breathe or blink. Let alone the stink. How Bella Swan could suck face with someone who had the supernatural equivalent of bin juice breath was beyond Leah.
"You're both injured," the vampire doctor observed. "My wife Esme can look at you Leah while I attend to Jacob. Did-"
"No." Leah interrupted. "Let's get Jake sorted and then we can worry about me." She knew that it would take longer this way, but she couldn't leave him to blab in front of Seth and her mother, and she felt that she owed him for her part in the night's fiasco.
She held his hand as they fussed around him. They popped his shoulder back and he howled before drifting right back into oblivion. They put him into different machines and tried to simultaneously clean the gashes on his face. He looks like Emily, she thought staring at the gaping wounds. She gagged a little and Seth rushed to find a bucket so she could vomit.
"Where did you get hit, sweetie" her mother was stroking her hair.
"Um, I... I got pushed on my side," she didn't need to explain who pushed her or why, "and I got kicked in the gut and you know...stuff." Leah felt a bit woozy.
"Can I look at you now, Leah?" Dr Fang was hovering over her.
"Jake?" she asked.
"The spinal cord is intact. He fractured three vertebrae and he'll need to wear a neck brace for a few days, but with his wolf healing he'll be fine. His face will probably be as good as new by tomorrow. I'm actually a bit surprised he's unconscious. His injuries in the newborn war were much more extensive."
His spirit wasn't broken then, Leah thought.
Leah allowed Dr Fang to inspect her injuries. It was hard not to phase with him being right in her face, but she tried to remind herself that he was helping. He asked an incessant stream of questions about her body and for some reason insisted on giving her an ultrasound because of the force of the blow she received to her midsection. Leah tried to tell him she was all broken down there long before any leeches got to her, but he just shushed her and continued his examination. Finally it was done and he agreed that she and Jacob could go home.
"How long before they can phase?" Seth asked. Leah's heart fluttered with fear. They were going to have to be so careful with their thoughts or else the whole pack would bear witness to their shame. She faced the Cullen leader intently, wondering if he would say she could phase on Saturday – that day was guaranteed to be torture anyway. The vampire with the long blond hair (Leah couldn't remember his name but she had nicknamed him "the Major" because he had trained them before the Newborn War) whispered something into Dr Fang's ear. She watched as his eyes darted across to Leah, back to the Major and then finally settled again on her.
"At least five days would be good. For both of them." Leah sighed in relief. Five days. Sam would be away on his honeymoon and she and Jacob would have time to get their minds under control.
"Five days?" Seth yelped. "I understand with Jacob, he's got broken bones. What's wrong with Leah? What aren't you telling us?"
"Nothing at all Seth" Carlisle soothed. "I want to run some tests and review all my notes from tonight to be able to give them both a clean bill of health. Leah's stomach injury is deceptively painful. I'm sure they both could phase earlier, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. The choice of course is up to them."
Leah had the distinct impression that Dr Fang was playing up her injuries so that she didn't need to phase. She had no idea why he would do that, but she would take any break anyone wanted to give her. Even one afforded by an albino parasite.
They said their farewells, agreeing to ask for permission for the doctor to enter the reservation for check-ups on Sunday morning. They were almost at the treaty line before Leah realised that her mother intended to take Jacob back to Billy's and then they would be separated. What if Jake talked in his sleep? Ugh. She should have asked Dr Fang to sew Jacob's mouth up. She allowed her mind to process all the different options before announcing "I'm staying at Billy's in case Jake needs something."
Sue looked at her strangely. "You heard Carlisle honey, you need rest too."
Leah shook her head. "He'll be upset when he wakes up. It was a rough fight. He saved me and I want to talk to him."
"I'll stay with Jake, Lee," Seth piped up. For the first time, Leah rued her brother's perpetual helpfulness.
She held up her hand to break the conversation. "No. I'm staying at Jake's. It's not a request and it's non-negotiable."
Of course every fucking pack member and imprint was waiting for them outside Billy Black's house. Nobody had any sense of personal space anymore. It was bad enough they were constantly in each other's heads but for some reason they were also always in each other's faces. Quil and Embry helped Seth manoeuvre Jacob into his room and they all ended up standing back outside in a semicircle on the front lawn. Leah knew that unless she redirected everyone quickly the whole night would unravel into a laboured discussion. She saw Sam clearing his throat, but before he could say anything she whistled loudly.
"Thanks for your attention," she said quickly. "Jacob and I fought a vampire today. The weather was a bitch and we both took a few hits. But we got her. She's dust." Leah wasn't thrilled about sharing the credit for the kill with Jacob, but it would be hard to explain his complete lack of involvement without also discussing his descent into madness.
"Jacob will be fine in a few days. He's got a neck brace to keep shit healing right. We can't phase for up to five days. Dr Sparkles will update us on Sunday but we're definitely off duty until then. So, everyone clear out to give Jake some space." The pack stared at her unmoving. Leah clutched at the one thing that might get her Alpha to lead them away. "We've got a big weekend coming up guys...everyone needs their beauty sleep for...you know." It tore at Leah to have to act like the wedding was an important event, she couldn't even say the word 'wedding' out loud right now. She didn't care if everyone turned up with bags under their eyes in cut offs. But they cared, and that was the clincher. The pack started to say their farewells, leaving just Billy and Seth with her.
Embry paused when he was about ten metres away. "Sorry I upset you earlier and sorry that you're hurting. Call me if there's anything I can do to help," he said under his breath before disappearing into the night.
Seth squeezed her hand. "I'll be round tomorrow, sis. Billy will call me if you or Jake need me. Love you."
Leah watched him leave before she turned to wheel Billy into the house. She stood with him awkwardly in the hallway.
"I'm staying here tonight," she finally said. She couldn't think of anything else to do other than state the obvious.
"Seth mentioned that." Billy replied. He didn't move though. Maybe there was something that he needed? Leah had never thought much about Billy's disability.
"Does Jake usually lift you into bed?" she asked, because it was exactly the question on her mind. Billy was family but she really didn't want to have to tuck him in or help him put on pyjamas.
Billy smiled. "We have a railing in my room Leah, no need for you to fuss."
"Great!" Leah quickly replied. "Well... I got fondled by a sparkling coven tonight so I'm going to use your shower if that's okay?"
"Towels in the cupboard" he called over his shoulder as he rolled himself down the hall.
Leah let the hot water wash away the awfulness of the day. Rachel was practically shacked up with Lahote these days, and she was able to slip into her bedroom and steal a pair of shorts and a tank top. Her nose crinkled in revulsion when she realised that the room smelled like Paul. Gross.
It was wolf instinct to investigate her surroundings and she found herself pacing the other rooms in the house, checking that none of the windows were open to the rain. She had been here many times as a little girl to play with Rebecca and Rachel but she rarely came here anymore.
She made her way to the lounge and slapped her face a few times to stay alert. It would be so easy to doze now but she was determined to be the first person to talk to Jacob when he came to. Her eyes drifted to the cluttered bookshelves that lined the walls. Maybe she could find something to distract her for a while. The shelves were an eclectic mix of Stephen King, Harry Potter, Matthew Reilly and chic lit. She assumed that between Rebecca, Rachel, Billy and Jacob they would have most genres covered. She snorted when she saw an Anne Rice novel and rolled her eyes when she realised that Bram Stokers Dracula was right next to it. In the end what drew her attention was a small well thumbed soft cover book called the "Art of Meditation". Rage helped her to block her thoughts, but she suspected Jacob would need another technique if they were ever going to properly hide what had happened from the pack. They could never know. It was bad enough that if there was a heaven, her father would have seen what she had done. She didn't need anybody on earth finding out. Pack mind be damned, no one was finding out just how much she had nearly screwed up.
She padded barefoot back into Jacob's room. His bed seemed to take up all of the available space even though it was edged right into one corner. Someone had placed a sheet over him but he was pushing against it restlessly in his sleep. She froze. She just needed to stay here until he woke up so they could synchronise their stories, but it didn't seem right not to do something to help him while she was there. She leaned forward to sniff out the reason for his distress. Maybe he had night terrors. She remembered that when they were kids he had been scared of clowns. It would be pretty funny if he still was.
One breath in told her exactly what the problem was. Vampire stench. Dr Fang had been all over Jacob. No wonder he couldn't sleep. She found a clean cloth in the kitchen and filled a bowl full of hot soapy water. She perched at the side of Jacob's bed. There was no easy way to do this and she had seen Jacob naked plenty of times before, but it seemed different with him lying in his bedroom. She pulled the sheet down to his hips and started with his chest, trying to avoid the lacerations. She wanted to scrub hard so that the filthy scent could be eradicated, but she knew he needed to sleep so she settled for lightly washing each surface at least three times. She reasoned that it would be better than nothing. Jacob's muscles tensed a little as she moved. Crap. Forget six pack, Jacob had a ten-pack. It really was a miracle that some outsider hadn't noticed how unnatural it was to have nine incredible hulks running around the Quileute reservation. She moved on to the arm closest to her, which was the width of a tree trunk. Jacob let out a small sigh as she swept the cloth back and forth. The other arm was tricky because it was closest to the wall. She didn't want to yank at it because it was attached to his dislocated shoulder, so she found herself straddling his torso so she could reach. She was ghosting the cloth down his forearm when his eyes snapped open. She stopped immediately. She was trying to do him a favour, but in her wearied state she didn't know how she was going to explain. She sat silently, meeting his gaze until his eyelids fluttered and he turned his head. When he started to snore a moment later, she let out a long breath that she didn't even realise she'd been holding.
She decided that there was nothing she could do about his back. He was too big to move and she was too tired to try. Even if she wasn't, it would have involved rolling his bad shoulder. She moved the sheet around again so that it covered his chest and groin but left his legs exposed. She felt grateful that Dr Fang had definitely not touched Jacob's cock. No way was she washing that. Hell, even if the sparkly ones had mauled him there, she wasn't touching it with a ten foot pole. Still, the intimacy of rubbing a cloth all over his thighs was not lost on her. She briefly pondered giving up altogether, but she could feel how much easier Jacob was sleeping since she had started to bathe him. She could do this for him... so she would. She realised, much to her chagrin that Jacob probably did things like this for his father all the time.
She was washing his calf when she heard Billy's wheelchair come to a standstill outside the open door. She had been so focussed on the task at hand she hadn't even heard him get out of bed. Billy cocked his head, watching as Leah held on to Jacob's leg.
"Vamp stench" she whispered.
Billy paused for a moment before nodding his head once in understanding and continued down the hall. She could hear him moving into the front of the house. Leah straightened the sheets around Jacob when she finished and returned to the kitchen to rinse the cloth and bowl.
"You're a good friend to Jacob, Leah," Billy said.
"We're not friends," she retorted automatically. She didn't have any friends anymore.
Billy regarded her in silence. Leah wondered how Jacob could be so talkative when Billy was anything but. Leah lasted all of ten seconds before she felt compelled to say something to fill the void.
"He's pack. I wasn't going to watch him suffer."
Billy gave her a sad smile. "Your father would be so proud, honey".
She turned away from him so he wouldn't see her face. Her father would be horrified if he'd known what she'd nearly done tonight. More than that, he'd be disappointed. He'd always told her how proud he was of her strength.
"I miss him," she whispered.
"Me too, Leah, me too."
She kept her back to him until he bid her goodnight again. Only when he was gone did she collapse into the couch in the little sitting room that seemed far too small for Jacob and Billy Black. For the second time that day, she cried until her eyes were sore.
