House: Slytherin

Year/Position: Year 1

Category: Themed (Jealousy)

Prompt: [Object] Wishing Well

Word Count: 3514 (excluding title and a/n)

Beta(s): maripaz6[thanks for giving me ideas for the ending!] and Ella Princess of Animals

~Story set on AU, and OOC characters~


Wishes from a Broken Time

Following the well-worn path bathed in moonlight, I trudged towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest and sought my place of solitude. I stopped near the spot covered in thick foliage and muttered a few incantations until the leaves moved aside to reveal a meadow where an ancient wishing well resides.

Drawn by an inexplicable pull, I discovered the enchanted place three years ago, and I've been visiting it as much as I could ever since. It calms me and reassures me that wishes do come true. At the very least, I imagined it to be something that grants wishes to those desperate for it.

But a wish isn't what I'm seeking for today.

Lately, I have a feeling that something's off.

I'm sure it isn't the bitter stares I get after being singled out again as one of the brightest witch in our generation. Although, sometimes I wish our Headmaster isn't so transparent that he holds me in high regard. It's hard enough as it is to cover the fact that he's my adoptive father without him flaunting his favoritism for the entire world to see. Nobody could really confront me on how I'm being given special treatment nor could they even complain about it. They're afraid of him, and rightly so.

It isn't Draco Malfoy's possessiveness, either. I suppose I'm flattered by his attentions. Who wouldn't be, when his family is second only to the Headmaster's wealth and power? I just wish he won't isolate me from my friends too much. And I wish he wouldn't go all macho on all the guys who try to get even a meter closer in my direction. He should learn his place, though, before I get tired of his incessant pursuit of my hand.

No, something's off- more than usual- and I can't place it.

It all started this month. I woke up one morning screaming from a nightmare. I don't even remember what it was but I can still feel the anger and anguish that doesn't belong to me.

Since then, I get this flicker of thoughts- bits and pieces of memories I don't recall having. At one time, I even saw a different face, a ghastly face, in place of my handsome Headmaster.

But that's not all. The strangest thing happened to me today. A stranger's face burned itself into my mind out of nowhere. He has the most beautiful green eyes, messy jet black hair, round glasses and a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. I don't recall having seen him in my lifetime and yet, a name, unbidden, bounced around my mind, whispered by a voice identical to my own. It called the name over and over, enough to make me go crazy.

Harry Potter.

Within the confines of my mind, the face smiled and my chest constricted in pain… and longing.

I don't know him and I don't know why the name came to my mind but for some incomprehensible reason, it felt significant.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I snuck out of my lavish private dorm room (nothing less for my sweet baby girl, my adoptive father insisted), and came here in my secret place to clear my thoughts.

I sighed and felt the night breeze, trying to stop myself from thinking anymore mysterious thoughts and walked mindlessly around the wishing well.

Harry Potter- again the voice whispered.

Ugh. Maybe I am going crazy.

I guess it's time for me to toss a galleon and wish for my peace of mind. Not that it really grants wishes, mind you, but doing so always gave me comfort. So I moved towards the wishing well, tossed a galleon and caught sight of the stars reflected in its clear, rippling waters. They were so pretty to look at and I leaned in for a better look.

Suddenly the stars moved. Dotted lights began swirling around the wishing well and I heard faint child-like voices singing a verse I knew from a distant vision:

Star light, star bright,

The first star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight.

The voices grew louder and before I could yank myself away from the well, I was suddenly pulled inside the swirling lights. I became afraid. This was the first time the wishing well did anything out of the ordinary.

Time began to unravel and before I could wrap my head around the frightening event, my reality and that of an alternate timeline converged and collided, igniting a truth long buried in the dark.

Flashes of vision swarmed inside my head in quick succession.

In the vision, I saw myself as a tiny girl, holding the unmistakable, reassuring hands of my biological father. My mother was behind me singing along the nursery rhymes that blasted off a muggle speaker. Star light, star bright, The first star I see tonight…

A gasp escaped my lips at the profound realization that what I was seeing were memories. Real memories that I had in what felt like a different time…

…And in that time, I was not an orphan. I was not the girl who lost her parents in a magical accident and had to be taken in by my godfather. It felt like a ton of bricks dropped on my head at the realization that I am not a pureblood.

I struggled to hold onto that memory, willing it into a tangible form that I could keep but the memory faded away and was replaced by another.

I saw myself again as a slightly older girl running along the length of the Hogwarts express, clearly on her first year, looking for a toad named Trevor. She opened a cabin to search for it and recognition flickered in me as I saw the younger version of the man in my head, Harry Potter, sitting with a ginger-haired boy (Ronald Weasley, I immediately recalled as if I knew them for a long time). They told the alternate Hermione that they haven't seen the toad but Harry flashed her a smile and thanked her for fixing his broken glasses. That day, the young girl was filled with warmth as his smile lingered in her thoughts for the whole trip.

Another flash and I found the alternate me face to face with a troll. She bravely held in a scream and quickly hid inside the girl's loo when she heard a crash. She peeked outside the stall, readying her wand to defend herself, when in came Harry and Ron, like the young knights of old, dueling a monster to save a damsel in distress. That day, as she walked side by side with her new friends, Harry gave her that same smile he gave her on the train and I felt her heart skip a beat, like it was happening to me as well. In the privacy of her bed that night, she swore to protect him like he protected her.

Flashes upon flashes of vision registered in my mind. I saw the great adventures they had together and I felt a strong kinship growing between them. They were each other's strength. They were a family.

Then I noticed her growing more and more attracted to Harry as the memories whooshed by. She treasured every smile, every touch that he bestowed her and sighed about him at night.

I saw her hit puberty and with it came a strong expectation that Harry would notice how she's growing up to become an attractive lady. She started experimenting with beauty products but was teased mercilessly for it. Hurt, she stopped taking care of her appearance and sought his attentions another way.

By now, I knew something terribly wrong is brewing- but I'm not talking about the mad man that keeps on trying to kill Harry. I'm talking about the other me who's fast becoming more emotionally dependent on him and starts obsessing over his attentions.

She started becoming aware of other girls vying for his affection. She experienced the first tinge of possessiveness when a girl attempted to give Harry a love potion. Another bout of jealousy haunted her when a different girl gave him a cloying self-composed poem for Valentine's Day. She began developing an irrational sense of fear that he might leave her for some tramp so she kept a close watch on whom he befriends and discouraged other girls from getting too close to him. She actually felt satisfied when he couldn't find the time to socialize as much because he was so busy dealing with a psychopath who's trying to destroy his life and she felt extra special during the moments when he tells her about everything going on with his life.

The darkness grew when she noticed Harry surreptitiously glancing at a girl named Cho Chang and asked her to the Yule Ball. Her fears came to rest when the girl herself rejected him in favor of another Triwizard champion.

Meanwhile, she kept waiting for him to ask her to the ball, but he never did. She dropped hints his way but he said something that made her realize that he never truly saw her as a woman. So she tried to distance herself from him emotionally so she could save her dwindling pride.

The night of the Yule Ball was the first time she tried looking like a proper lady again and she gloated internally as people gaped at her beauty. In passing, she noted Draco Malfoy, her tormentor in that other time, had nothing to say for a change and she remembered with pride how his eyes gleamed with undisguised longing for an infinitesimal second. Let Harry Potter languish in the knowledge that she was the undisputable belle of the ball on that very hour and he lost his chance to have her in his arms.

She didn't expect Ron to be the one who got jealous at her appearance at the ball with Viktor Krum. So she tried switching strategies and tried to get Harry jealous by giving Ron a chance. Well, the bastard didn't perform well and before they could even start, I saw him sucking face with a girl named Lavender Brown and the other me got so distraught at the missed opportunity.

The vision switched again and I saw the alternate Hermione sitting by the fire in the common room while Harry regaled her and Ron with a story of his first kiss with Cho Chang. I saw her laughing while her heart broke in a thousand pieces.

In her loneliness, she sought Ron's company and they hit it off. Well, he seemed to like her more than she thought, so she used him to make Harry see how wonderful a girlfriend she could be, especially since nothing came off his little tryst with the droll Ravenclaw.

I don't know how much time had passed, but the memories still came, unrelenting.I don't know why the wishing well is showing me all this. I have a horrible premonition that everything I'm seeing right now is somehow tied to my present.

There was another flash of memory and I saw my other self comforting Harry as he shook in anger and fear as he told her how Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, came back to life. She began to fear, not only for Harry, but also for herself. A muggleborn like her would be hunted like an animal if they didn't defeat him. The gravity of their situation couldn't be denied, so she bravely prepared in secret to help Harry, the Chosen One, defeat the Dark Lord.

When everything turned into an all-out war, Harry, Ron and the alternate Hermione were forced to go on the run, but through it all, she still found the time to treasure every moment she had with him. When Ron abandoned them after a bitter argument, she was left truly and utterly alone with Harry and she cherished those days all the more. She didn't leave him in his most desperate situation, and she felt sure that he would see it and fall in love with her in return.

She was wrong. The next scene took me to the final battle where dozens of felled wizards from both sides littered the bloody castle. The fighting was fierce and brutal and when all seemed lost, Harry emerged victorious. The battle is finally won. I saw the other me crying in relief and caught sight of him. Her heart couldn't contain her happiness as she slowly got up and ran towards him. She was going tell him how she felt all these years, how she loved him and would do anything to keep him happy…

Her steps faltered as she saw Harry ran towards Ginny Weasley instead, gathering the redhead in his arms and looking at her with a love so pure and true. Then he smiled a smile that she hadn't seen before, and her heart was ripped to shreds.

A blackness crept insidiously on the sidelines, waiting for an opportunity to devour.

She saw their lips meet and her world crashed around her. She tried to close her eyes but her body went rigid, making her an unwitting spectator to the start of a happy ever after for the man she loved with a woman that wasn't her.

A tiny spot of darkness found an opening and seeped inside her soul…

Someone tapped her shoulder, startling her awake from the cruel nightmare. Turning her to him, Ron announced his love for her for all to hear and kissed her to the applause of the cheering throng. She pushed him aside gently and told him of his brother's death to stop his disgusting display of affection.

The months that followed after became even worse. Ginny thought that I- I mean, the alternate me- was her best friend and made her maid of honor. Struggling to keep her fury hidden, she accepted. She spent most of her days planning a wedding she's determined to ruin.

Ron remained oblivious to her feelings and proposed to her in public, urged by his family and friends. She stifled the disgust leaking from her face and stoically accepted.

The Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly began a very intrusive feature of the two engaged couples, picturing them as the symbol of new beginnings. Excitement buzzed in the air as the public finally moved on from their grief and joined the heroes in a long celebration, marking the upcoming double wedding as a historical turn towards the Golden Era.

Little do they know that Hermione felt pushed into a corner, furious at the adoring, coercive public that depended on her happiness as a drug to their own sad life.

Another flash and I saw that other version of myself as she cried bitterly inside her lavish bedroom, the Order of Merlin First Class plaque lay broken at her feet. She was clutching a framed picture of her and Harry until her tears dried out. Finally, she stopped sobbing, seemingly getting her bearings together, when a bubble of hysterical laughter escaped her lips … while bashing the photograph over and over the wall.

There was another flash of memory… but this time, it wasn't as clear as the memories I saw before. It was dimmed by what looks like a blackened fog but I could still make out my other self in an unfamiliar library, feverishly turning pages upon pages of books on dark magic. When she found what she was seeking, she cackled in glee, ripped out the page and strode out purposefully out the door.

My heart is nearly bursting in apprehension as I saw the final memory flash before my eyes.

I saw her in the very same place I am now- inside the meadow where the wishing well resides. She caught the stars twinkling inside its depths then softly began singing the very same verse I heard my mother sing:

Star light, star bright,

The first star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight.

Then she laughed bitterly and muttered under her breath, "I even sacrificed my parent's memory of me for you, Harry… I wish I hadn't even met you. I wish Ron and Ginny were never born. I wish I were a pureblood." And in a louder, hate-filled voice she cried, "I wish for time to turn back so I could warn Tom Riddle… I'll make him condemn their existence and avenge my sorrow…"

And with her declarations came a darkness so overwhelming and she succumbed… the darkness taking me with her.

I woke up with sweat lining my brows. I'm still inside the meadow lying beside the wishing well.

Shocked to find the morning sun peeking through the trees, I hurriedly got up and sprinted towards the castle. Tardiness isn't tolerated in my Advanced Dark Arts class and even if I have the favor of the Headmaster, Professor Snape would still find ways to mock me since he's jealous about my abilities to keep up with him.

In my hurry, I bumped into someone and crashed on the ground. I clung to the hand stretched out to help me up and I was startled to see the Headmaster smiling at me.

Then his face changed from the handsome man I knew him to be… into a noseless, bald, snake-faced monster and I gasped in fright.

"Are you alright, my child?" he asked me in a gentle tone but I can hear a slight hiss in his voice.

Suddenly, everything the wishing well revealed to me came crashing down on me and I grew pale with horror. I remembered who I was... and I remembered the man standing before me.

Headmaster Tom Riddle… Lord Voldemort.

I held in my composure and immediately warded my mind.

"I… I'm fine, thank you," I replied, trying not to sound strained.

He narrowed his eyes at me. Then leaning closer, he whispered in my ear, "You can still call me father in private, you know?"

I felt like puking but I grinned conspiratorially and he laughed with me. He patted my head and left me to my devices.

I ignored the jealous stares of my schoolmates as I looked around like it was my first time seeing Hogwarts.

Gone were the banners of the Founders, replaced by the dark flags etched with skulls and serpents. All around me I see the children of Death Eaters, and my Death Eater Professors.

Harry Potter.

My heart constricts at the name bouncing inside my head and I hurry to the library. I spend all day trying to look for signs that he is alive, to see if I can see him somehow… but there's no record of him anywhere. The Potters, Weasleys and even the Longbottoms were not in any magical registry in England nor abroad. It's like they vanished without a trace.

My heart jolts in pain when I remembered my parents in my renewed memories. I know in my heart that I am not a pureblood, unlike how my adoptive father paraded me to be. They are, without a doubt, been wiped out during The Purge. I remembered a lecture in Mudblood Studies that The Purge started the year after I was born and that muggles and mudbloods alike are facing extinction. I was one of those who celebrated the 'great achievement'.

I now understand why the Headmaster tries so hard to keep me happy. Without me, he couldn't have thwarted the prophecy. Without me, he couldn't have ushered the Dark Ages.

My head swam at the magnitude of my actions, and for what?

The green-eyed monster, vicious and ugly, owned me. It consumed my past and became my present. I condemned millions of wizards and muggles alike and laid it at its altar… a costly price for a choice spurred by a heart taken over by jealousy.

Yet, I can only think of one thing.

Did they suffer?

They must have, for my sake; they must have suffered for the jealous whims of a heartbroken teenage girl. I destroyed their lives for my own petty revenge, and now that I have all I thought I ever wanted, I realize it was all for naught.

And now that I know how life turned out for me, I ask myself if I want to change it back to the way it was supposed to be or continue living a lie.

For love is a privilege I might not find again in this lifetime and love has been denied from me in the past. No matter how I think about it, I always end up getting the short end of the stick.

A few days later, I found my answer.

I went back to the wishing well one beautiful night with a firm resolve to restore that world filled with happiness and love... changing only one thing: that my life be forfeit and rest in the knowledge that never again will I feel that green-eyed monster devouring my soul.

.o.O. END .O.o.