Six weeks go by, and Rafe and I get closer.  He's sweetest guy; Evelyn is so lucky.

"Rafe?" I ask.

"Yeah, Mandy?"

"You know how to swing?"

"Who doesn't?"

"The French!"

"Why?"

"Why did I ask?  Because I haven't been able to swing in forever, and I was hoping that you would be willing!"

"Well, lieutenant, would you like to dance with me?"

"Thank you, Lt. McCawley.  I'd love to.  Let me put on my record."

I put on "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Glen Miller, and we dance.  We start laughing and having fun, then a slow song comes on.  I start to sit down with my journal.

"Where do you think you are going?  Am I that bad?" he asks, tauntingly.

"Lieutenant," I say, lightly hitting him on the arm, "you know you are good.  I just thought you may be tired."

"So now I'm old?"

"I just glare at him.

"Okay, truth…I was hoping you'd still dance with me."

"That's how you ask a girl, Rafe.  Yes, okay." I say.

We dance, and I lay my head on his shoulder.  I look up at him, and we lean in to kiss.  Suddenly I jump back and say, "We can't!"

"You're right.  I'm so sorry, Mandy," Rafe says, ashamed.

"It wasn't just you…it was me, too.  It takes two to kiss," I say, smiling.

Rafe still looks trouble.

"Hun?" I ask.

"It just I know I am still with Evelyn, but I feel like a completely different person than the one who left Pearl Harbor to fight in the war.  I just feel an attraction to you…I can't help it.  God knows I've tried to ignore it, but it is getting worse." Rafe says, looking down.

"Rafe," I say lifting his face to look in his eyes, "I really, really like you.  In fact, I may be falling in love with you.  I can't, though…not yet.  I won't do anything until you see Evelyn again.  I don't want my heart broken because we get together, and then you go back to Evelyn.  I'll be your friend.  When we get back, maybe we'll give it a try."

"Always sensible, Amanda," Rafe says, trying to ease the tension.

"You'd better believe it," I say smiling.

"Anyway, I think I'm going to go to sleep.  Goodnight, Mandy."

"Goodnight, Rafe."

Rafe changes and then heads to the couch to sleep; he gave me the bed back once he could get up.  Sometimes I make him sleep on it though because he needs it more than I do.  I sit at the desk with the soft lantern light, casting a slight glow on sleeping Rafe.

September 27, 1941

            I can't believe I stopped Rafe from kissing me.  I told him I'm possibly falling in love with him.  I lied.  I am in love with him.  I don't want to have him for a little while, and then loose him to Evelyn.  That would heart beyond words.  I think he loves me and her, actually.  I wonder if she still loves him.  She probably thinks he's dead.  Has she moved on?  I could never move on if I had him and then lost him.  I'd never be able to love another person, if I could feel him loving me back.  He's so amazing.  I'd rather be his friend than nothing at all.  He looks so completely innocent right now, like a little boy.  He's seen so much.  I wish I could take it away.  He still looks so cute.  Well, goodnight.

                                                                                                Always,

                                                                                                            Mandy

I go to sleep.  Meanwhile Rafe wakes up and sees me asleep on my diary.  He carries me to the bed and sees my newest journal entry.  He reads it, feeling slightly guilty.  Afterwards, a smile comes to his face.  Then he goes back to sleep after closing the journal.