I hit the ground... or at least would have if it wasn't for some purple aura coming from some purple... wait was that a purple unicorn? Okay, so I was saved by a purple anthropomorphic unicorn. Yeah, this is gonna be fun.
I was set down on the ground right next to a blue Pegasus. And seeing as how I wasn't an anthropomorphic horse, I got some weird looks. Thanks God, you could have at least changed my appearance. No matter, I was a monster in my world, what would change that here?
"Before you ask any questions, I have some of my own," I told the six anthro horses in the small group surrounded by the hundreds of their clones, they all nodded.
"Okay, first were am I, second, What the Hell are those things, and third, are they evil," I asked. I could tell the purple unicorn was about to go into a long winded speech, but i told her to give me the short version.
"Equestria, changelings, and yes," said the blue pegasus.
"Good, that's all I needed to know, just stand back and let me do my stuff," I said as I pulled out my knife that I knew was back on earth. Hu, must pop back into my pocket now. What ever. I ran forward and sliced ones neck that looked like the white unicorn. Immediately, green fire flew over it's body and what was left was a weird anthro bug... horse... thing with green eye's. Once that one was down, I ran for more, killing five more while they were in shock. One pulled a sword from nowhere and sliced at me. I block with my knife, then kneed it in the stomach. As it went down, I stabbed it in the back of the head. More started to pull swords out, so I picked up the one from the thing I just killed. I'm not exactly one for swords, but hey, it can't be much different from a knife... right?
I charged, swinging the sword in a wide ark, killing about five until one blocked. I took this chance and got close with my knife and cut his throat. This is pretty much what went on, with the added mechanical laughter here and there.
Once all of the Changeling fell before me, I turned to the six horses.
"Alright, were do we need to go?" I asked. I could tell they all had mixed feeling about me. One, I was a human and they anthropomorphic horses. Two, the yellow pegasus was hiding behind a very energetic pink horse. And three, the blue pegasus and orange horse were in fighting stances ready to jump me.
"Please, if I was gonna kill you, you'd already be dead," I said, "Now, where to."
Still skeptical, they all pointed to what looked like a church. Great, religion, just what I needed.
I ran towards the church with the horses right behind me. As I opened the doors I saw more of those changeling things filling up the hall.
"Well, shit," and then I was punched in the face and blacked out.
When I woke up, I found myself tied-up in the middle of what looked like a wedding alter, with a female looking changeling looking out of a window. The six horses were next to me, and near a wedding alter was a pink alicorn mare, and white unicorn stallion.
What, I know the terms.
"Well, it looks like the THING that took out my children has woken up, along with you stupid Elements of Harmony.
Thing, yeah, that was the best way to describe a monster like me. But it still hurt a little.
"I have a name, bitch," I said in retort.
"The thing also has a mouth on him," She then got in my face, "So tell me, what is your name, so that I may call the one who killed my children by name when I kill it."
"First off, you whore," seriously, with that many kids, she has to be, "I am not an it, I am a human," I said, then mumbled out how even other humans called me a monster, "and my name is Jeff, Jeff the Killer."
"Jeff the Killer?" she asked, "What kind of name is that?"
"It's a very fitting name for me considering I AM A KILLER." I said, "And trust me, what I did to you kids is nothing compared to what I did to some of my own kind, I fucked this one girl's life up so bad, she wants to kill me in the most painful way imaginable."
"Oh really, and what did you do?"
I chuckled, "I made her watch as I killed her entire family in front of her, then made her eat parts of them."
Ah, the look of horror on peoples faces when they hear of what I've done. It brings me such joy.
"Th-that's just evil," said the changeling.
"Oh, and taking over an entire country isn't?" I deadpaned.
"This is different!"
"Oh, how so?"
"I am doing this to ensure the salvation of my children!" she yelled, "I, Queen Chrysalis."
"And now your going to die."
"Wha-" before she could even finish, I was out of my bindings and my hands were around her neck, slowly tightening.
"Ah the thrill of the kill, there is nothing quite like it," I said, "You see, I'm supposed to protect the six sluts over there."
"Hey, we are not sluts," said the white unicorn.
"And I was told by a very powerful being 'not to kill any of the citizens of Equestria'," I said, "But he didn't say anything about beings who aren't from here."
I could see the fear in her eye's as I squeezed harder on her neck, slowly draining the life from her.
"Now, go to SLEEP!"
And that's when the sword appeared at my neck
"Let her go," said a male voice. I turned to see the male unicorn.
"Oh, and why should I?" I asked, "She tried taking over your country."
"That may be true, but I do believe that you called my sister a slut."
Oh, and which one is it, the white unicorn?" I questioned.
"The purple one, and her name is Twilight Sparkle."
Twi-twili," I couldn't help it. I started to laugh. I let go of Chrysalis and fell to the floor laughing.
"What, what's so funny about my name?" asked Twilight.
"There-there's a... a set of books... where I'm from... ca-called twilight... the-the vampires in it... they-they sparkle in... in the sun," I said trying to regain my breath.
"And why is that funny?" asked the orange horse.
"You would have to read it to know," I explained.
"Uh, do you still plan to kill me?"
I turned to chrysalis. "Oh no, I'm in to good a mood, just don't take over Equestria again and were golden," I said.
And with that, she fled with her tail between her legs... literally.
"So, I never got any of your names," I said, "You know mine."
"I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in Equestria," said the rainbow haired pegasus.
"Names Applejack," said the orange horse.
"My name is Rarity Darling," said the white unicorn mare.
"I'm Pinkamena," said the pink horse who up until now was really energetic, hair was poofy and her coat was bright. Now her coat was dull and her hair was strait.
"What happened to you, you were all happy and energetic a minute ago?" I asked.
"That was my other side, Pinkie Pie," she said, "She really wants to throw you a welcoming party."
"Split personality?"
"Split personality, and by the way..."
"Yeah?"
"I've killed ponies as well," said Pinkamena. I have a feeling we will get along great together. Wait, did she say ponies? Okay, so there ponies, not horses. Got it.
"I'm Shinning Armor," Said the male unicorn.
"And I'm his fiance, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza," said the alicorn, "But I prefer Princess Cadance."
"And what about you?" I asked the yellow Pegasus, but she just hid behind her friends more.
"This is Fluttershy, she gets scared easily," said Twilight.
"Okay, ow that introductions are out of the way, don't you think we need to free you princess?" I asked, pointing to a cocoon with a white alicorn in it.
"FUCK, I completely forgot about the princess," shouted Twilight, "How in all of Equestria could I forget her?"
-000-
After we cut her down, I explained how I got here, and what exactly God wanted me to do here.
"I see, so God sent you here to help us and protect the Elements of Harmony did he?" Asked the princess, who I now knew was named Celestia.
"Yes, although he was very cryptic when he said it," I said.
"Well I'm sure my old friend had his reasons," she said, "Not to mention, I have been wondering how his creations have been, and his son."
"Didn't see Jesus, just God's voice," I said, then thought for a second, "But then again, according to Christians, they are one and the same, so I guess I was talking to Jesus as well... oh well."
Then Celestia turned to Twilight. "Twilight, I would like for Jeff to stay with you in Ponyville for the time being,"
"Yes princess," Then she turned to her brother, But we'll be leaving after my brother's wedding."
"Only if it is still going to happen?" I said.
"Of coarse it will, I won't let anything stop my fiance's special day."
And that is it for chapter two. see you gu...
Lyra: Hold on one minute mister.
What Lyra?
Lyra: I was one of the original Bridesmaids, why wasn't I in this chapter.
You were stuck down in the cave remember, Twilight threw Cadance's Bouquet remember.
Lyra: oh yeah. But I'll be in the next chapter right?
Yes, why are you so excited?
Lyra: I GET TO MEET A REAL LIVE HUMAN!
I'm human and you don't freak out over me.
Lyra: I thought you were just a force that dictated our actions.
NO, I WRITE FANFICTION! Oh what ever, can you sign us off.
Jeff: can I do it?
Why?
Jeff: Do you want to go to sleep?
OKAY FINE, just do it already.
Jeff: See you in the next chapter guys.
